


Meet Me in the Memory

by gigi256



Category: Vampire Academy & Related Fandoms, Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-04-04 21:00:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 112,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4152786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigi256/pseuds/gigi256
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After witnessing Mason's death in Spokane, a grief stricken Rose runs and loses something even more precious. Unable to go home, she leaves her loved ones – especially Dimitri – with a hole in their lives that can't be fulfilled. When fate brings her back 2 years later, she has to make a decision: to continue as she has since that fateful day or return to a life she can't remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

* * *

** ~ ROSE ~ **

* * *

 

I held his body in my arms. His head was cradled against my chest as I pressed my face into his red curls. My best friend was dead...because of me.

If I hadn't told him where the Strigoi were...If I had insisted that we leave immediately when I had found him and the others...If he hadn't come back for me...If I had simply loved him the way that he loved me, the way that he deserved to be loved by me...he would be safe. So many ifs, but only one truth: he was dead and I only had myself to blame. It should have been me.

I looked up from his hair, where my tears fell into oblivion. I envied them. I envied the ability to disappear, to forget, to simply let go and be lost to the world. Looking around, I saw the two other bodies nearby. They were cold, pale, and soulless...but that had happened long ago. I simply took the last semblance of life away from them. In some ways, I envied them as well. They had been murderers, but now...so was I. At least I had given them peace.

I looked down at Mason again. He looked so peaceful in my arms. His neck was broken, but there was hardly any other mark on him. The blood that did mar his perfection was either mine or from one of my victims. He looked as if he could be sleeping, but I knew better.

With one last kiss, I laid him gently on the floor. I had no more tears left. I felt numb. I felt hopeless. I felt like I had no other options...

...so I ran.

I ran just like Dimitri taught me to. I ran past buildings and street signs. I ran until the sun began to set behind the unfamiliar hills. I ran fast and hard away from the house. It had been a prison for me and my friends and it now was a grave one of them. The steady footfalls created a meditative rhythm as my mind raced between thoughts, almost as if my life was passing before my eyes. I had no idea where I was going, but the feeling that I needed to keep moving pushed me on.

Memories came and went. My mother abandoning me at the Academy when I was still a child, and her sudden return only a few short weeks ago. Our relationship was rocky and practically nonexistent, but she was still my mother, and I still loved her despite everything.

Vasilisa. Lissa. We weren't related by blood but she was my sister. More than that, she was my bond mate and we were tied together by something stronger than blood. We were bound by Spirit. I owed her my life and I knew that if I just opened my mind to her for a moment I would feel all of her emotions rush into me. I couldn't do that though. I couldn't even handle my own emotions right now, much less hers. I had promised to always be there for her, to protect her. Now I was abandoning her.

One at a time, other faces flashed before my eyes. Mason, Eddie, Christian, Mia, Adrian, Mr. & Mrs. Dragomir, Andre, even Alberta who was like a second mother to me. It seemed like everyone that I had ever met in my life, good or bad, took a moment in my mind before vanishing.

Finally, I saw Dimitri. I fell to my knees when his face appeared. I had only known him a short while, but he had touched my life in a way that no one else could. It was as if his soul knew how to speak to mine and vice versa. In the few short months that he had been in my life, he had changed me immensely. He had helped ground me, and I've become more focused and self-controlled under his guidance. He saw the potential in me that few others ever saw and nobody else cared to nurture. I owed him so much because of that. He was a mentor for me, but he was also so much more. I loved him. I knew he also loved me...at least to a certain extent, whatever that may be. We could never be together for so many reasons outside of our control, but I knew that a part of me would always love Dimitri.

I couldn't see anything around me as I lay gasping in the damp grass of some random park, and I was comforted by Dimitri's memory. I didn't want him to see me like this, to see how I had failed him in my training, but the image of his elusive smile and feeling of his arms around me was all that kept me in reality. Unfortunately that grip was temporary, and soon I found myself succumbing to the exhaustion and stress. I felt the final threads of consciousness slip as I heard him call my name, from a place far away in my mind.

_"Roza."_

 

* * *

–  **DIMITRI –**

* * *

 

We had been searching for hours it seemed. We didn't have much to go on, just Adrian's vague tip about a house with a basement and some recent reports of where Strigoi had been spotted in a few residential neighborhoods. My energy was draining nearly as fast as my hope with each street we passed. There were many other homes in this area with basements, too many to simply knock on each door. Since we didn't have an address or description, the best we could do was comb the area and pray that we saw some other clue leading to their location.

The crackle of my earpiece snapped me to attention. "We have located the students. Rinaldi, Ozera, and Castile have been located."

Wait...that's only three of the five. My chest felt like lead as I waited for the rest of the report.

"Ashford and Hathaway are still at the house." An address quickly followed and I recognized the street name. I had passed it a short while ago. I had probably walked right by them. I started running back that direction before the next words stopped me in my tracks. "One casualty reported."

I don't remember how I made it front of the old blue house, complete with peeling paint and dingy white trim. I had seen this house only a few hours ago. I remember stopping right in front of it, wondering if she was inside. Perhaps she had been waiting for me, and I had walked away.

Guardians moved in and out of the front door without urgency. In almost any other situation, it would be calming to see them so composed, but their lack of hurry could only signify one thing: there was nothing worth hurrying for anymore.

"Guardian Belikov." Guardian Alberta Petrov's voice pulled me from my stillness. Despite her age, her experience and commanding presence made her perfect as the captain of the school guardians. Unfortunately, her voice was also laced with something I had never heard from her before: pity. It was subtle, but there. "I think you should come see this."

Without my permission, my feet moved up the walkway towards the front door. The chaos inside confused me initially. Water, glass, and fish were scattered across the floor. A few pieces of furniture were toppled over or broken. Guardians were huddled in groups, speaking in hushed voices and taking notes. I could hear some broken fragments but couldn't make out the greater meaning.

"The blades are dull. They look like they haven't been used in years."

"It would have taken some insane strength to do this."

I finally saw what they were talking about. Two Strigoi bodies lay on the floor, surrounded by blood with their heads removed from their bodies by a few inches. They were killed by decapitation. It was by far the most difficult method and one that no regular guardian would have taken if they were armed with stakes. It must have been one of the novices.

Scanning the floor, I saw an old sword that was more fit for decoration then defense. The blood marks on the blade left no question to its most recent use however. It only held my attention for a moment though, before the hand beside it made my heart stop.

The hand was still and unmoving. The rest of the body was shielded by other guardians. Two things were certain though: first, it was too pigmented to be Strigoi. Second, it was too pale to be Rose.

I pushed my way over, confirming that small comfort when I saw the red hair of Mason Ashford. As much as it pained me to see the young novice dead at my feet, a small part of me was relieved that it wasn't my beautiful Roza. I could still hold on to hope.

Desperately, I scanned the crowd again. She must be here. There was only one casualty reported, so she must be around somewhere. My heart sunk when I saw the unbelievable sight of Guardian Janine Hathaway sitting on the couch and staring blankly ahead of her, seemingly in shock with silent tears running down her cheeks. Guardian Hathaway was one of the most controlled guardians around, and only a few things could shake her like this. Rose was unaccounted for. In our profession, that could be a fate worse than death.

I glanced around the house one last time, my heart racing as I searched for her dark brown locks. When I couldn't find her there, I retreated outside again. Guardian Petrov was now speaking to the little blonde Moroi girl, Mia. I strode to the pair, desperate for answers.

"Where is she?" I demanded.

"Guardian Belikov," Alberta answered, "we are doing our best to find Rose. Mia was the last to see her. According to her account, Rose stayed behind to allow the others to flee into the sun. Ashford returned to help her and was killed in the process. However, Mia was able to break a fish tank and cause a distraction that allowed Rose to decapitate the two Strigoi. Mia encouraged Rose to come with them to find help, but she refused to leave Mason's body. Miss Rinaldi said that there were only two Strigoi in the house at the time, both now dead. This has been confirmed by human accomplices that we found tied up in the basement. We don't know Rose's whereabouts now, but I assure you, we will do everything we can to find her."

While missing, Rose had killed the only two Strigoi present. It was a small comfort since that meant it wasn't likely that Rose had been turned. She wasn't out of the woods yet, however. She was likely hurt, perhaps disorientated, and definitely lost. But at least I now had some solid information. I can build a plan from information.

"Do you already have a team canvasing the area?" I asked.

"Not yet."

"I'll get on that."

She nodded as I turned to gather assistance.  _Don't worry Rose,_ I thought,  _I'm coming. I'll find you. I promise._


	2. Chapter 2

 

* * *

** ~ ROSE ~ **

* * *

 

"Hey, are you alive?" The female voice was accompanied by a sharp jab to my ribs.

I opened my eyes to see a pair a high-heeled boots standing beside me. I tried to lift my head but I ended up wincing from the pain that shot down my spine. It was more than simply being stiff from sleeping in an uncomfortable position (I was laying face down on some overgrown grass) but I didn't know where, why, or how I was injured. Pushing through the pain, I followed the pair of legs up to the girls face.

"AH HA! Not dead. Great. That would have really ruined my night." She smirked down at me, and extended a hand as she noticed my struggle to move.

She looked about twenty, dressed in a black polo that seemed a bit too small for her, and a tight pair of jeans. There was a name and logo on the shirt, but I couldn't quite make it out. Her blonde hair was cropped in a shorter pixie cut, her bangs almost hiding her light green eyes, and she had the long and lean body of a dancer. Her appearance was somehow comforting, even if I had no idea who she was.

"No," I replied, my throat seeming a bit scratchy, though I didn't know why. "Not dead yet, but I certainly feel like I'm half way there."

Her eyes widened as she took me in. "Yeah, you look even worse. No offense."

"None taken." I didn't doubt her, considering the pain I was in, but I glanced down at my body anyways. My clothing was scattered with blood, more than the visible scratches on my arms and legs could account for. I didn't know how any of it got there.

Confusion must have been evident on my face because suddenly the sarcastic tone of the girl's voice disappeared and was replaced by genuine concern. "Are you okay? Were you in a fight or something? Did someone attack you?"

My mind was blank. The events of the past day were gone. "I...I don't know."

As I tried to remember, I realized that it wasn't just the past day that was a mystery to me. I couldn't remember anything. Not the past day, not the past hour, not the past decade. It was startling and I automatically looked for clues around me. In the darkness, I could only make out a few things. I seemed to be in some sort of park, one that was surrounded by the taller buildings of a city. I didn't know which city, but it was better than nothing. I looked back at the girl, who only seemed more confused and concerned than before.

"Crap. Maybe I should get you to the hospital. My car's not far. Do you think you can make it?"

I nodded, but the action made my head pound a little more.

As she helped steady my walking, she introduced herself. "I'm Marie, by the way."

I smiled, opening my mouth in an automatic response. "I'm..." my words fell short and I furrowed my brows in concentration. Dang. This should be easy.

_What's my name?_  I wondered.  _Something...floral. Daisy? No. Lily? No._  I quickly ran through a list of every female botanical name I could think of.  _Jasmine, Iris, Heather, Holly, Violet, Rosemary...wait. That felt close. Not quite there, but close. Rose maybe?_

I glanced up at Marie and saw her face becoming hesitantly suspicious with each passing moment of silence. Without thinking anymore, I blurted out the first name that came to mind.

"Ivy. My name is Ivy."

Marie seemed to visibly relax. "Well, okay then Ivy. Let's get you to a doctor to get you checked out. Not gonna lie, you are kinda freaking me out a little."

I laughed, mostly trying to break the tension within myself. There was nothing else to do, I could either laugh or cry and crying would probably only freak Marie out more. Since she was quite literally the only person in the world that I had at the moment, I couldn't afford to scare her off.

* * *

We arrived at the hospital moments later. Marie was kind enough to stay with me for the time being, though I wouldn't expect her to stick around much longer. The check-in paperwork was practically taunting me with questions that I didn't know the answer to. I had no idea what my age was, nor my last name. Heck, I didn't really even know my first name, much less my full medical history. After filling out the few descriptive questions that I could easily ascertain (sex: female, hair color: brown, eyes: brown) I returned to the receptionist who was way too perky for 4 a.m.

"Got that all filled out, Sweetheart?" he chirped.

"Um, not all the way. What do you do if you don't know or can't remember some of the answers?" I tried to be nonchalant about the matter, but I don't know how possible that really was.

"Oh, don't worry, as long as we have the basics, we should be alright."

"Um...then there might be a small issue."

His brows knit together in confusion as I handed over the clipboard of paperwork. As he scanned the nearly blank first page, his eye grew wide in surprise.

"Oh," he stumbled, "Well...let me go find someone about this."

I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment as he stood and walked to the back room. I was almost back at my seat when I heard a voice ring out into the ER waiting room: "Ivy?"

I snapped my head to attention, recognizing the only shred of identity I really had at the moment. Before answering, I glanced at the receptionist again, who only nodded his encouragement. I made my way to the doctor with Marie following close behind.

After a long series of questions that more often than not could be answered with "I don't know" or "I can't remember," the doctor finally seemed satiated, if not quite satisfied. Marie tried to offer as much help as she could, but it was little more than I was able to give. After being told that I would need to undergo quite a few tests and procedures and would defiantly be staying the night, Marie left me her phone number and asked that I call her tomorrow with an update.

The doctor wasn't lying about the numerous tests that they had lined up for me. Some were fairly simple, like a visual examination of my bumps and bruises. Others were more worrisome such as the gynecological exam for traces of sexual assault (thank goodness that one came back negative) and a CAT scan. After several hours and not many answers, they were able to determine that I didn't have a concussion and could sleep. They even gave me a bit of food which triggered a hunger that I didn't even know existed. It felt like I hadn't eaten in days. Once my hunger was taken care of, I quickly fell asleep.

* * *

_I was in a house, hands bound behind me. I could smell the stale scent of blood alongside burning flesh. The room was dark enough that my eyes were having difficulty adjusting. I seemed to be alone, though there were several other empty chairs in the room._

_I had no clue where I was, but I could feel the terror and dread weighing down on me. When the door across from me finally opened, I saw a man walk in. Physically, he was tall, thin, and only looked to be in his mid 40's, however he gave off this sense of being much older. The confidence in his walk said that he had seen decades, perhaps centuries, and wasn't afraid. That alone made me more uneasy. But it wasn't the only odd trait about him. His skin seemed almost white, standing out even in the darkened room. I had never seen someone so pale, and if he didn't have so much power radiating off him, I might think he was deathly ill._

_As he stepped closer to me, I pressed myself as far as I could against the back of the chair. I was struggling at my bindings but had no way of freeing myself. He was only a few feet away when I noticed his eyes. They were dark brown, nearly black, but around the edge of the iris there was a blood red ring. It was faint, but once you saw it there, it was impossible to ignore. It wasn't natural and just the sight of it made my heart race fast._

_When he was right in front of me, he bent forward. I still struggled to put as much distance as possible between us, but it was no use. Even though he had no weapons on him, I knew I was as good as dead. He studied my face, brushing my hair aside and tracing my jaw line. It was almost like my fear amused him. After toying with me, he stared me straight in the eye and I was unable to look away. He gave me a smile that made my stomach lurch and I barely had a moment to register his fangs before he brought his face to my neck and bit down._

I awoke in the hospital, screaming. Several nurses ran in and I blindly swatted them away before I recognized my surroundings. They kept their distance, but still stood by for a moment to be sure I was okay. After I finally calmed down, I apologized as much as they would allow me to and they left so that I could get some more rest.

As I rested my head against the pillow once more, I shook my head in disbelief. "Great," I whispered to no one in particular. "Now I'm having nightmares of vampires."

 

* * *

–  **DIMITRI –**

* * *

 

Three days we searched. Perhaps I should be grateful that they had allowed the quest to go on for even that long. All the Moroi had been accounted for, there were no leads to follow if she was alive, and we had the unfortunate task of preparing a memorial service for a murdered student. Perhaps Mason's death was the reason they had extended the search. Announcing one death was bad enough, announcing that a student was also missing and possibly – most likely – dead would only make things worse.

The first day, several teams of Guardians hand canvased the area, moving outward from the home where they students had been held. Mia said that she had been alive and relatively unharmed when she saw her last but any other information she had was of little use to the search. For my own sanity, I had to believe she was alive, but I couldn't understand why she hadn't contacted anyone.

The next day, Alberta and I checked in with several of the hospitals in the area. The first couple had been a complete bust, but I still had hope for the final one. We walked into the crowded Emergency Room and approached the too happy receptionist.

He started his basic dialogue before we even reached the desk. "Please fill out these forms a-"

"We're looking for someone," I cut him off sharply. "She might have been admitted this past evening. Her name is Rose Hathaway."

He turned to his computer and silently looked through some files before turning back towards us. "I'm sorry, nobody by that name as come in today." He continued, answering my second question before I had the chance to open my mouth. "We don't have a Jane Doe either."

Rose's wallet had been found among the possessions taken from the students when they had been captured. She didn't have any cash or identification on her. If Rose had been found unconscious, then she wouldn't be admitted under her name. Unfortunately, the only Jane Doe that had been recovered tonight at another hospital was a 6'2 woman with pitch black hair who was at least thirty years old.

My heart sank as my last hope for tonight was snuffed out. Guardian Petrov left her phone number with a request to contact her if she turned up. It was the same routine we had followed at every other hospital. I started walking back outside in a daze, accidentally bumping into a young blonde girl as I did so. I quickly apologized before making my way back to the SUV, waiting for Alberta to join me.

There were more places to look of course. We had already filed a missing person's report at the local police station, but due to her age, it was easy to see that they were already passing her off as a run-away. We couldn't exactly tell them that she had been held captive for several days before going missing, at least not without answering several difficult questions.

More guardians were posted at the local bus station hubs and other places where she might be spotted, including a couple youth and homeless shelters, but we had yet to hear anything back from them.

The only place we had yet to check was the one place I desperately hoped we wouldn't find her. They were sending Guardian Stan Alto and another guardian who was familiar with her to the City Morgue. They haven't checked in yet, but I wasn't looking forward to it. It was a strange combination of relief and torture as we waited for their report.

As we returned to the small hotel where the Guardians participating in the search were staying, I could hear the dull roar of hushed whispers growing. Janine still seemed in shock, and I hated to be the one to dash her hopes again. Thankfully, she ignored me completely as Alberta told her the news and gently comforted her.

One of the guardians spoke a little too loudly, and I could over hear him wondering if we would eventually treat Rose as we would any other guardian who had gone missing in action. I winced at the thought. When a guardian went missing during a raid or fight, and there was no body to be recovered, they were listed as dead. More often than not though, it was an incorrect label. When a body wasn't found, it was usually because they had been turned. The thought of Rose as a Strigoi was more than I could handle at the moment. I kept clinging to the fact that Mia had witnessed her after killing the two known Strigoi in the house, but if there was another that they were unaware of... no. I couldn't think that way. I had to stay strong. I had to stay focused. I had to keep hopeful.

I retired to one of the several rooms we were using during the search and tried to get some sleep, though it did little to refresh me. I tossed and turned all night, plagued with the thought of where she was. Was she freezing to death as I lay here? It was winter after all. Was she hungry? Was she lonely or scared? Was she thinking of me? She had to know that I would look for her. She was probably waiting for me right now.

After a few hours, I got up and started looking again. I was even more tired than I had been last night, but I couldn't sit still any longer. Unfortunately, the second and third day ended up being just as successful as the first. No sightings, no leads, no additional information. The only good news is that she never made an appearance at the morgue.

Finally, on the third evening, Guardian Petrov gathered the group and told them that the search was being called off. It was the first time I had ever seen her cry, but it was hard to hold back my own emotions as we heard Janine Hathaway's desperate pleas echoing out between the sobs. Calling off the search was as good as labeling Rose dead. While the school would probably list her as missing until a body was recovered, the chance that we would eventually find her alive and well just became so small, it wasn't worth the pain of hoping.

We flew directly from Spokane to the Academy. The few non-school guardians that had volunteered for the search would return to their positions from there, and Janine would be staying a few extra days to fill out some paperwork and gather Rose's belongings. I couldn't imagine going back to active duty so soon after something like this, but I guess I could see how some semblance of normalcy could help. I felt bad for her though. I know she and Rose hadn't been close, but Janine had just started to reach out to her daughter when she was ripped away.

As the Spokane City skyline slowly disappeared, I tried to say my goodbye to Roza. I couldn't though. I couldn't completely resign myself to the fact that she was gone.

* * *

The first day back on campus was a nightmare for me. Part of me was desperate to fall into old habits to keep me from thinking too much, but it didn't take long for me to realize that my life at the Academy had been practically centered on Rose. Our trainings took up a large part of the day, and time seemed to drag on without them. Guarding Lissa wasn't much of a relief since she was mourning Rose as well. I wanted to beg for more guard shifts, but even if Alberta would allow it right now, they would have mixed results. I had already felt how depressing it was to watch one of the senior novices' lessons with two empty seats, and a perimeter shift checking the wards would only lead to far too much time alone with my thoughts.

With my unwanted free time, I opted to walk aimlessly though campus. For a while, the general presence of other people was comforting, even if I wasn't interacting with them. I did notice a few stares and badly hidden whispering. I didn't know exactly what they were saying, and honestly I wasn't sure it really mattered, but after a while it became annoying and decided to take a short break from humanity. I made my way towards a small pond on the far end of campus. It wasn't near the academic building or student housing, so I didn't expect to find anyone there. I  _really_  didn't expect to find him there.

I didn't recognize him at first. He was sitting on one of the stone benches surrounding the pond. In the middle of winter, there wasn't much for him to admire besides snow and ice, but perhaps it offered him some form of serenity. As I got closer, it became clear that he wasn't here for the view. His eyes were closed. Thankfully, he was breathing. I wouldn't have been surprised to learn that he had been drinking too much earlier, fell asleep, and succumbed to hypothermia.

"Lord Ivashkov" I called, slightly harsher than necessary.

He jumped at the sudden noise, turning quickly to face me. "You are going to give someone a heart attack!"

Part of me wanted to smirk at his reaction because I vaguely enjoyed shocking the spoiled brat, but his reaction was so close to the ones that Rose had given in similar occasions that my mood was short lived.

"You aren't a student here. What brings you to campus?"

The way he looked at me said that the answer should have been obvious. I just continued staring. I didn't have time to play his games. After a moment or so, he rolled his eyes with a dramatic sigh.

"I'm here for Rose. Well, I'm partially here for Rose. I'm working with Lissa on spirit in hopes that we can find her."

I just nodded. My experience with Spirit magic was fairly limited to Rose's bond with Vasilisa. I knew that being able to sense thoughts and location only went one way, and unfortunately it wasn't the way we desperately needed right now.

However, Adrian had helped us find the location of Rose and the others in Spokane by speaking to her in one of her dreams. Perhaps he could do that again. The question is why hadn't he yet. I was almost afraid to ask.

"Have you reached her?"

He shook his head, not looking at me.

"What does that mean?" I was surprised that the desperation I felt didn't sound in my voice.

"Honestly," he met my eyes for the first time, and I noticed the dark circles underneath, "I have no idea."

"Have you been drinking?" I didn't mean to make it sounds so accusing, but my nerves were fried at this point and it came out extremely harsh.

He shot up from the bench and strode towards me at a pace I haven't seen a Moroi move at before.

"Listen here, Cradle Robber. I haven't had a single drop since the moment she disappeared from the lodge. I've been trying day and night to reach her without luck. I don't know what it means, but I'm going to keep trying until I die or go mad."

The anger that flared was twinged the aforementioned Spirit madness. I noticed that he forgot an option though...

"What if she's already dead?"

He shook his head, coming back to reality from wherever his mind was for a moment. "No. I don't think so. I can...feel her." He tugged at his hair, as if the pain would help him focus. "If she was dead, then I wouldn't be able to sense her at all. I can still feel her aura, but she's somehow unreachable. It's almost like she's there but not there at the same time. I don't know how to explain it."

"A coma, maybe?" That would mean she's hurt, but alive. It wasn't much, but it was something.

"Perhaps" he replied. "I don't know much about that extent of unconsciousness."

An awkwardly heavy silence fell over both of us. I didn't like Adrian, and I knew he wasn't fond of me either. However, in this moment, we had something in common: we both cared for Rose. As much as he accused me of being a cradle robber and I accused him of being a playboy, I knew that both of us would do almost anything to know where she was. We competed for her affection, but in this moment I knew that either of us would step aside for the other if it meant that Rose would safe and sound.

* * *

The day of the funeral came. As expected, it was a solemn and sad event. The death of a child was always horrific, and this was no different. The chapel was filled in a way that you never see on the Sabbath, echoing with the sounds of mourning.

I was technically on duty so I stood in the back watching the scene unfold around me. Mason's parents, a dhampir mother and non-royal Moroi father who had raised him in a loving home, sat near the front. His father barely held back the tears as he thanked those who offered their sympathies. His mother allowed the tears to flow freely down her cheeks but otherwise seemed to be in a state of shock. Her eyes were hollow, as if she was a million miles away. I understood the feeling. My chest felt empty as well. While I was physically here, my mind seemed to live in memories of the past as if it was clinging to whatever happiness it could find. I was certain that she was doing the same. It was all we could do to get through the day.

Princess Vasilisa and Christian sat together. She was tucked protectively under his arm. I knew they were here to mourn Mason and say their final goodbye, but there were a few of us who were mourning another. Perhaps I should be grateful that this wasn't a double funeral, but the lack of closure when it came to Rose was eating me alive.

Eddie sat on the other side of Lissa, head bowed. You could almost see the guilt on his shoulders like a physical weight, one that he was struggling to carry. Mia was there also. Her entire demeanor had changed the past few weeks. It started with her mother's murder, but being held captive had solidified it. I could see a new determination in her to be strong, to protect herself and others. While it was nice to see a positive change from the insecure 'mean girl' she was before, the way it was earned made the change bittersweet. Adrian looked close to being sick. He was paler than normal with dark rings under his eyes. True to his word, he still had yet to take a drink, but his mental stability was suffering greatly for it. Reflexively, he reached for his flask usually hidden in the pocket of his jacket only to come up empty.

Several guardians, including myself, lined the wall, giving the illusion of security that was still so desperately needed after the tragedy. Truthfully, the guardians on duty were almost as distracted as those who were attending on our own time. Part of it was due to the sheer catastrophe that brought us together. However, I think a good portion of it was seeing several strong guardians near their breaking point. Alberta Petrov, captain of the school guard, was going between hiding her own tears and comforting others. She wasn't the most disturbing. No, the most distressing sight was seeing Janine Hathaway, known for her unemotional professionalism, breaking into quiet sobs in the corner. It took me a while to place the dark haired, ostentatiously dressed man behind her. I hadn't seen Abe Mazur, known back home as Zmey, since I was a teenager. He was a fairly dangerous man, known for his efficiency in taking care of people standing in his way. I didn't know what to make of his awkward comforting gestures towards Janine, nor his own apparent sorrow. It piqued my curiosity momentarily, but that faded quickly. I barely had the motivation to do the daily things such as eating, I didn't have the mental energy to wonder why the Zmey was interested in a student's funeral.

Before I knew it, the funeral was ending. I couldn't remember a word of it. I paid my last respects to Mason before returning to my small apartment. Like everything else nowadays, it seemed cold and empty. I never was one for excessive decoration, but now even the small personalizations, such as my book collection, didn't bring any joy or comfort. In fact, there was only one thing that brought me comfort recently.

I sat on my bed and leaned back against the wall while reaching under my pillow, feeling for the wooden frame hidden there. Eyes closed, I pressed the picture against my chest. I had memorized this photo and I could bring it to mind anytime, but holding it was the closest thing I could get to holding Rose. After a moment, I opened my eyes. Shamefully, I had stolen this picture from Rose's room a few days after we had returned from Spokane.

It had been a moment of weakness, but during one of my rounds in the female dhampir dorms, I couldn't resist and used my master key to unlock her door. I was looking for comfort, but instead I only found heartbreak. The thin layer of dust was a loud indicator that she hadn't been here in a while. However, her shadow still seemed to linger. The blankets on her bed were still pulled back from the last morning she woke up here. School papers were scattered over her small desk. There was even a small cup of water on her bedside table, the glass marked with lines of evaporation over time.

Suddenly, it hurt to even breath. I had let myself succumb to the memories of her. I gave into the horrid thought that I might never see her again and it Was physically painful to imagine a life without her in it. I needed a distraction quickly, before my depression could overtake me like it had done every night before I fell asleep.

I had never actually been in her room before, but it was easy to imagine her in here. I let my hands run over the bedside table before opening the small drawer. It didn't have much; a few pieces of jewelry including a familiar rose-shaped necklace, some loose change, and a small notebook. I picked up the necklace, remembering the last time I had seen it and how it had changed everything. Flashes of that night flickered through my mind like an old movie, and before I could justify myself, I had slipped the token into my pocket. I was about to close the drawer again when I felt a small pull towards the notebook. It didn't look like anything special, but when I opened the first page, I realized it was a journal, one that had been started a day or two after I had found her and Lissa in Portland.

Without thinking, I read the first page and laughed when she complained about her new "Russian Jailer" and vowed to "give him hell" for dragging them back to the Academy. The very next line though, she was expressing her gratitude that I had stuck my neck out for her and offered to mentor her when she was about to be expelled. Seeing her be so open reminded me that this was her private thoughts and I suddenly felt bad for invading them. I shut the notebook, with the intention of putting it back but then noticed a loose page that was falling out. Or I thought it was a page. It was actually this photo.

It must have been on that trip to Missoula. I vaguely remember Lissa taking the picture with her phone. Rose had her hair pulled up, dressed simply with a smile on her face that appeared to be taken mid laugh. I was standing slightly behind her. While I was fairly visible, I doubt Lissa had even noticed me in the picture; it was obvious that I wasn't the intended subject. I was looking at Rose with a vague grin of my own. Most would interpret the look as one of pride, but it was obvious to me – and perhaps to Rose as well – that I was falling for her even then. The feelings this image inspired were bittersweet. I was grateful for this unknown picture of the two of us, but it was a reminder of all the time I had taken her for granted; every moment I pushed her away or kept my distance because it was the "right" thing to do. I was grateful for the small moment of peace between us the night she disappeared, rather than all the tension and arguing that had led up to it, but if I could go back I would do so many things differently.

My phone beeped a small alarm, warning me that my shift was almost over for the night. Instead of replacing the photo and journal in the night stand, I took them with me, along with the rose necklace. Looking around the room one last time, I locked the door, signed out of my shift, and returned to my apartment. I assumed that both her and Mason's rooms would be treated like a fallen guardian's. A family member would soon clear them out and it would be as if they never existed. Soon, there would be no sign that Rose ever lived there.


	3. Chapter 3

 

* * *

** ~ ROSE ~ **

* * *

 

I "woke up" from one of my strange daydreams again. It was so odd, like I was being transported to another place, looking through someone else's eyes.

Today, I appeared to be at a funeral. People were crying all around me and I felt an overwhelming feeling of loss. A dark haired boy with blue eyes attempted to comfort me, despite his own apparent sorrow. A sandy-blond boy on my other side looked so consumed with guilt, it looked as if he was drowning. Beyond him, a small girl with almost doll like features seemed conflicted between guilt, sadness, and a strange determination to comfort the others, while a slightly older guy looked halfway crazed as he absentmindedly reached for something in his pocket over and over. I turned to see a red haired woman of about 40 sitting a few pews away who was doing her best to silence her sobbing and hide her tears but was failing pretty miserably. An older women wrapped an arm around her and shed tears of her own.

Finally, I turned to look towards the back of the room and a tall man with shoulder-length dark hair caught my interest. I had seen him and the others a few times in these day dreams, but there was something about him that was different. I never felt it during the daydream itself, but when I returned to reality, I always felt an odd longing to see him again. Today, he was standing alone against the back wall, slightly apart from anyone else even in the filled chapel. He wasn't openly mourning – no tears or anything that would convey his emotions – but there was a hollowness in his eyes that suggested that he was worse off than he seemed. It was almost a haunted look. I couldn't bear looking at him for long, and turned back towards the front before the image faded and I returned back to the present moment.

Like usual, I simply shook my head to clear my mind of the odd thoughts and went back to my normal activities. The doctors said that these moments were just a part of my dissociative amnesia. They could be anything from memories trying to make their way back to me, to a simple side effect of my injury that meant absolutely nothing. They could even be just an overactive imagination. While somewhat annoying, I was learning to live with the strange occurrences. They were becoming less and less frequent, but they were still unpredictable when they came. The worst part was slowly coming to accept that I might never remember anything from before my accident.

I looked at myself in the mirror one last time before I heard Marie honk her car horn. Not only had she graciously taken me in after I was released from the hospital, she had also hooked me up with a job interview at the place she worked. That's where I would be heading now. I really needed the money. I owed Marie quite a bit. She had been covering the cost of food and had even gathered some second hand clothing for me from her friends that were about my size. I was more than ready to pay her back for her gratitude and start pulling my own weight.

My hair was down, loosely covering my shoulders with dark curls. A vague voice sounded in my ear, "wear it up," but I shook the ridiculous thought away before grabbing my bag and running outside. Jumping into the passenger side of the small blue Honda, I tossed a nervous grin towards Marie as she started pulling out of the drive way.

She was already dressed in her black polo, ready for her shift at the same bar I was applying at. Marie was a waitress and I was hoping to be one as well by the end of the day. Marie worked on the bar side of the restaurant where "the tips got better the drunker the patrons are," or so she said. Unfortunately, as a newbie, I wouldn't be starting on the bar side of things. I would eventually work my way over to the bar, hopefully within a few months. Even though I couldn't drink it, it was totally legal for me to serve alcohol at 18 years old in Spokane, Washington. Well, at least I was  _estimated_  to be 18. The doctors said I could be anything from 17 to 19, but since being seventeen would make me a minor and I would require quite a bit more paperwork, I  _chose_  to be 18.

For the third time that day, I was reminded about how odd this whole situation was. I still wasn't used to my circumstances, even though I couldn't remember anything else from my previous life. Not only had I gotten to choose my birth date but I also got to choose my full legal name and almost every other identifying information. My official name was now Ivy Marie Jones. Since I had already started calling myself Ivy, it didn't make sense to change it, Marie was a simple thank you to my only friend, and Jones was just one of the most generic names I could think of. There was enough strangeness in my life, maybe having a boring last name would counterbalance my weird fate. I had basically chosen a new identity. The paperwork was immense, but the social worker who had taken on my odd case had advocated for me and was helping me get everything in order fairly quickly. I was even working towards my GED. I may not remember school, but I guess I retained the information I had picked up from it...or most of the information. Apparently I was only a mediocre student. Otherwise, I was pretty much able to function like any other adult in the country.

We arrived at Sullivan's Bar and Grill within a few minutes and Marie looked at me with a big optimistic grin on her face.

"You ready?" she asked.

"As ready as I'm ever gonna be." I wished I could steal some of her enthusiasm. "You sure I'm even qualified for this? I don't have any experience...at least, I don't  _think_  I do."

She laughed, a big boisterous sound that was so counter intuitive to her petite frame, and she made me laugh in the process. As messed up as my life currently was, Marie helped me see the humor in the situation and it had become a bit of a running joke with us. She also enjoyed making up theories on my past life. The more outrageous, the better. The best one so far was that I was a vampire slayer a la Buffy, but her elaborate and detailed thoughts on me being the daughter of some mob boss was pretty good as well.

"I've already told Rob about your unique situation and promised that I would train you and get you up to par quickly if he hires you. There aren't many people vying for the job anyway, and he prefers to do as little work himself as possible. Couple that with the fact that he owes me, and I'm pretty sure you are a lock as long as you go in there, smile, and don't screw the interview up."

I gave her a thankful smile before stepping out of the car and into the old building, with Marie following behind. A half hour later, I was wearing the same black polo as the rest of the waitresses.

* * *

I was a quick learner. Within a month, I was just as fast and fluid as any of the other wait staff, and the tips were the proof. I officially moved in with Marie and started paying rent. Marie eventually started tending the bar, and life was overall pretty good.

The worst thing about my job was the unwelcome advances from customers. I didn't get too many on the restaurant side of things, but on the occasional day I filled in behind the bar – the legality of doing so without a liquor handling permit was apparently a fluid concept to my boss – I could expect more than one phone number and even a few bruises on my backside if the customer was exceptionally bold or drunk. It was on one of these days that I happened to learn something about myself: I did  _not_  hit like a girl.

I had been filling in at the bar, and a couple of frat boys were a few too many in. Marie had cut them off a while ago, but there were still sticking around nursing the last of their drinks and attempting to flirt with us both. We were both pretty used to it, but on this particular day I had just had enough. Thankfully, our shifts were about to end so we simply sucked it up.

As we made our way back to Marie's car, I heard them calling to us. It was the usual cat calls but when they wouldn't back off, things started to get a bit heated. They tried to get us to come home with them. We told them to back off. Actually, Marie's language was a bit more colorful, but you get the point. Eventually, drunk and annoyed, the apparent leader of the guy's pack grabbed my wrist and it was like something snapped in me.

Before I knew what was happening, he was flipped onto the floor, and several of his friends who tried to back him up were bleeding and broken. Marie and the few guys that were sober enough to stand back just stared at me in shock, and I didn't blame them. I honestly had no clue what had just happened. The boys picked themselves up and ran off, calling us some choice words as they scampered away.

Marie immediately started exclaiming how amazing that was and asking me how I did it. Obviously, I had no clue how I did what I did, but I spent the car ride trying to figure out where I might have learned to fight in my previous life. One thing was for certain: whoever had trained me had done a killer job.

After discovering my hidden talent, I started going to the local gym nearly every day. It didn't seem right to let those skills go to waste, even if their purpose was unknown. I worked with one of the local martial arts instructors a few days a week, but more often than not, I simply enjoyed running around the track or working with a punching bag. I did eventually branch out into some of the offerings of the gym, including dance. While I wasn't quite the "natural" as I was with martial arts, I eventually became pretty good.

* * *

–  **DIMITRI –**

* * *

Six months. It had been nearly six months since I had last seen Rose. I still thought about her every day, but life has a way of moving on whether you want it to or not. While I still looked at her picture every morning and night, I never ventured to open her journal again since I had first discovered it. Even with her gone, it didn't seem right. I vaguely wondered if it was because I still couldn't be sure she was actually gone. We never did recover a body. She was still officially listed as "missing" though nobody was actually looking anymore. I often thought about returning to Spokane to try to find her, but I was always held back by the fact that I had no clue where I would even start my search.

Some days were better than others. Today was a bad day. Actually, except for perhaps what would have been her 18th birthday, this was the worst day thus far.

The graduating novice class was seated directly in front of the stage. The official school graduation had been done earlier in the day alongside the Moroi students, and now was the time for the Promise Mark ceremony. Each student would have the score from their final trials officially read before receiving their tattoo.

My mind wistfully imagined how I would feel standing here, as I thought I would be over six months ago. Honestly, not much would have been different. I would still be here proudly supporting my student as a mentor. That student would still be slated to be my guardian partner in protecting Princess Vasilisa Dragomir. I even have no doubt that my student still would have received the highest trial scores of the night. The only real difference was that instead of Edison Castile, that student would have been Rose.

About a month after Rose's disappearance, Eddie had found me in the gym. It was close to student curfew, and I was taking another round of anger and frustration out on the punching bags. Honestly, I was surprised that he even approached me in that state. Most students  **–** and even some guardians  **–** kept their distance now unless they had to speak to me. I had become something very close to the person I was when I had first arrived at the Academy after Ivan's death. Perhaps even worse. I was quiet, dedicated, and didn't do much more than eat, sleep, and complete my required shifts. Even Alberta had tried to speak to me about the sudden relapse, but I made it fairly clear that I wasn't here to socialize and make friends. I was here to help train the novice students until I could take my official position as the Princess's guardian. Duty was the only thing that kept me sane in those early months.

Still, Eddie came, and he came with a request.

I heard him approach before I saw him. He was quiet, but I could still pick up his foot falls. I hoped that if I ignored him, he would go away, but I felt him waiting for me to acknowledge him. Finally, I stopped my brutal assault on the punching bag and turned to face him.

"Guardian Belikov" he greeted.

"Castile" I returned.

A short silence followed as I saw him build up the resolve to say the next words. It was enough time for me to recognize just how alike we had become. Where there had once been a bright, happy, social young man, there was now a shell that held nothing but pain, guilt, and a sense of duty. I had always been fairly quiet and reserved. It was much more upsetting to see those traits ingrained into someone who was not naturally like that.

"I would like you to train me."

His request shocked me. It was honestly the last thing I expected, and my natural inclination was to deny him. I had no interest in mentoring another student. To be perfectly frank, I had only started mentoring Rose because I was practically forced to. However, I didn't have the chance to say no before Eddie started again.

"I know that I don't have the same potential as Rose," my heart clenched at her name, "and I'll never truly be a replacement for her, but I would like to offer myself to Princess Vasilisa as her second guardian since Rose is now...unavailable." He spoke so formally, but his voice wavered on the last word and he refused to meet my eyes.

He took a deep breath and regained his composure. "I feel I am at least partially responsible for the fact that both Rose and Mason aren't here, and while I can't bring them back, I can at least do my best to fill in the holes that they left."

I knew I should tell him something along the lines of "it wasn't your fault," but I couldn't bring myself to do it. He wasn't really to blame for the situation, but in my current angry state that didn't seem to matter. For a brief moment, I could pass on the fault to him for Mason's death and Rose's disappearance.

But that moment was short lived because if anyone was to blame for them being gone, it was me. I had told Rose about the Strigoi lead in Spokane. Eddie had revealed in later questioning that Rose had let it slip to Mason. While Mason had been the one who decided to investigate the lead further and recruited Eddie and Mia as back up, and Rose had tried to retrieve them before their absence was noticed, I couldn't help but shoulder the guilt knowing that they would both still be here if I had simply kept my mouth shut.

Perhaps the fact that we both felt guilty was the reason I said yes. We now had several things in common, including our self-blame for the loss of our best friends, and that brought an odd sort of companionship.

We started training immediately, running laps the very next morning. Overall we worked well together, but there was the occasional disagreement between us. Internally, I couldn't help but constantly compare him to Rose. He was good, but there was never quite the same natural talent. I tried to keep those comparisons silent, but when I pushed him too hard, he would bitterly remind me that he wasn't Rose and never would be. Despite our infrequent issues, we became the closest thing to a friend that the other had.

Eventually, we both became better. We never really overcame our losses, but we did regain some sense of normalcy after a while. I was there when he went to Lissa and offered to take Rose's place as her guardian, assuring her that he would happily step down if she ever was found. I advocated for him when Lissa placed her guardian request a few weeks before graduation. While I never said anything to him or anyone else, Eddie eventually guessed that my relationship with Rose wasn't quite as pure as it had seemed from the outside.

So now here we were, months later, at graduation and I was simultaneously celebrating his success while mourning the loss of Rose yet again. I knew he understood. While this should be an extremely happy day for him, celebrating all that he had accomplished, it didn't take too much to see that he was simply putting on a cheerful facade. For those of us who knew him better, we could see that he was barely holding it together.

Within a week, I took on my official role as Lissa's guardian. Eddie received his official position as her second guardian shortly after that. Lissa moved to Court after graduation, being groomed for some high ranking position under Queen Tatiana's council. Technically, she couldn't take an official place on the council since there were no other representatives from her family, but the Queen was working to rectify that oversight. Naturally, Eddie and I both followed, as did Christian.

Adrian also returned with us to Court. I wasn't exactly thrilled with his presence, but his Spirit work with Lissa had bound him to our little group. However, there was an unspoken agreement that neither of us would mention Rose. In fact, over time, none of us mentioned Rose. It wasn't as if we were trying to forget her, because that wasn't possible, but reminiscing about her only led to sorrow.

Come the following fall, we would be traveling to a nearby university where both Christian and Lissa would be pursuing their higher education. Lissa had once confided that it wasn't her first choice – which had been Lehigh University – but it seems that much of the Princess's confidence had disappeared alongside Rose because she had never even requested to attend there. In fact, Lissa had become somewhat of a pushover when it came to Tatiana. She complied to nearly every request of the queen except one: she never considered any other suitor other than Christian.

I would hardly consider myself a romantic but perhaps losing Rose had ignited some form of it inside of me because I silently applauded her for standing up for their relationship. She was hardly the same person without Rose by her side, but none of us really were. At least with Christian, she had someone to keep her grounded.


	4. Chapter 4

**TWO YEARS LATER**

 

* * *

**~ ROSE ~**

* * *

 

The sun was barely setting and the Strip was just starting to really shine with lights and sounds. I made my way into the club. Marie had beaten me here and was already at the bar. I moved past the crowds towards the VIP lounge, and then took the door to the left – the dancers' entrance.

Marie and I had moved to Las Vegas from Spokane just under a year ago. She followed a boyfriend, and I followed her. They broke up the next month, but by then she was already working as bartender at a new place on the Strip. Finding work for myself had been a bit harder. In Spokane, I was a waitress, but in Nevada you had to be over 21 to serve any alcohol. In a strange turn of events, you did not have to be 21 to be a dancer. You only had to be a legal adult.

Once again, it was Marie who had hooked me up. I don't think I would ever stop owing her, though she was one of those people who never expected anything in return. The bar she worked at wasn't technically a strip club. The dancers never removed their clothing. However, they did have several stages and several poles which were used for entertainment. The dance classes that I had taken in Spokane plus my apparent athleticism made the position a natural for me. A little training, and the job was mine.

Perhaps some people would be embarrassed to work as a dancer in Las Vegas. It certainly came with its fair share of assumptions. However, with no real friends or family outside of Marie to account to, it didn't really bother me. I knew who I was and what I did. I wasn't ashamed of it. When I danced, I did so under a pseudonym like the other dancers. My outfits were fairly flashy and revealing, but I tended to gravitate towards the more modest options available. Some of the other dancers reveled in the extra attention they received when they wore something more shocking, but I didn't care for it. I was here to make a living, that's it.

 

* * *

–  **DIMITRI –**

* * *

 

Adrian was dragging Christian to Las Vegas for his bachelor party. The wedding between Christian and Lissa was not for another few weeks, but this was the best timing with every other social event leading up to it. Eddie and I were accompanying them, both in a personal and professional manner. Like the rest of us, Christian wasn't extremely social, and he hadn't made many other real connections in the past couple of years. Also like the rest of us, he didn't really care.

Eddie and I both protested taking the time away from Lissa to attend his bachelor party, especially having both of us taking leave at the same time. Lissa eventually had to force leave on both of us, threatening to go to Vegas, thus dragging us along, if we didn't. Her final argument was that she wanted to be sure that both Christian and Adrian were well protected and trusted us to do the job. We finally accepted under the condition that she would not be leaving the wards over the weekend and I handpicked our substitutions.

I could see many of the same traits in Guardian Castile that also resided in me, both good and bad. Becoming so dedicated to our jobs that we didn't take time for ourselves was just one similarity out of many. Neither of us had taken vacation since we started guarding Vasilisa. We had personal experiences that pushed us to this fault, but it was a fault just the same. It had crossed my mind before that one of the benefits of my potential partnership with Rose was that while we shared some of the same strengths, our personal weaknesses would have been balanced by the positive attributes of the other. Her natural openness pulled me from my solitude, my focus grounded her more troublesome spontaneity. I appreciated Eddie's talent and dedication, but there was a part of me that knew that we would never have the same professional chemistry that Rose and I had. Granted, the chemistry between me and Roza went far beyond professional...

No. I can't allow myself to think like that. She's gone. Dead or alive, she's gone and I have to accept that. I still continue to pray that I'll see her again, but my hope dies a little every day.

"Belikov."

Eddie's voice finally pulled me from the vice grip that line of thinking tended to hold me in. I turned to him to see a familiar look on his face. Some might mistake it for pity, but it was actually one of sad camaraderie. He understood where my mind roamed on occasion. His thoughts guiltily drifted to his best friend almost as much as mine did to Rose, and while I was allowed to imagine her somehow alive, he was stuck with the harsh and final reality of Mason's death and the guilt that he was unable to prevent it.

"Are we still going with the original plan? I'll play near, you'll be far guard?" he asked while slipping in his earpiece.

I turned my own receiver on to check the equipment with him. "Yes, I think that would be best. We can switch later in the evening though, if you need a break." I gave a rare grin when I saw that he understood what I was hinting at.

Both Moroi were a bit difficult to handle when completely inebriated. Granted, Adrian had much more practice holding his liquor once his vow of sobriety for Rose's sake ended six months after her disappearance. He was willing to continue, he wanted to continue, but it became evident that he couldn't handle the darkness any longer and would become lost himself unless he took preventative measures. Vasilisa had been the one to convince to drink again...in moderation.

Christian, on the other hand, rarely drank. But when he did so, he became much bolder and tended to attempt risks that he shouldn't. Most of the time, it was harmless and amusing, but it could get out of hand quickly. It was almost like the two men switched personalities when drunk, only they took things to the extreme. Christian became wild and unabashed, willing to both pick fights and sing karaoke, while Adrian would become brooding, angry, and borderline depressed. Tonight, we would not only be protecting the Moroi from outside forces, we would also be protecting them from themselves.

With a final check to assure myself that my stake was in position and my concealed firearm was loaded, Eddie and I knocked on the adjoining door to the hotel suite.

Adrian answered and quickly surveyed me before giving me a pointed look that told me he was less than impressed with my attire this evening. While it wasn't the traditional guardian uniform, I also hadn't strayed far from it either. I had exchanged the black blazer for my preferred leather duster, but otherwise, I would be right at home in Court.

I gave a silent apathetic shrug at his disapproval before he turned his sights on Eddie. Apparently he had made the better choice wearing jeans, but only just.

"Well," Adrian started "at least you two won't prove to be too much competition with the ladies tonight."

Eddie and I exchanged a quick glance and he rolled his eyes. The rest of our group didn't seem to understand that we weren't looking for romance, be it long term or only for the night. They knew better than to attempt to do so with me, but the one time they tried to set up a blind date for Eddie, it had ended in disaster. Castile was too dedicated and engrossed in his position to worry much about personal companionship. I had been the same once and would like to say that I felt that way now, but the bitter truth was that I simply had no desire to find intimacy with another after I lost my Roza. Not only did my heart still cling to her memory, but I had yet to find someone who could stir up anything close to the same emotions and feelings within me as she did.

That doesn't mean that I hadn't had offers. Tasha continued to offer her proposal for a few months after the Spokane incident. At first, I had tried to let her down gently by telling her that I now felt an increased responsibility to Vasilisa's protection after she had lost her second guardian. When that didn't work, I was frank with her and told her that I didn't feel that way towards her. I had to state such three times before Natasha lost her sense of propriety and brought up Rose and how it was perhaps fate that she should be taken before our "irrational relationship" progressed any further. Granted, her words were exceptionally more colorful and insulting, enough so that I felt my own temper waning. It was the first and only time that I had ever been tempted to strike a woman out of anger and outside of training. Thankfully, I was able to satisfy my rage with some – very loud – choice words of my own. I haven't spoken more than a few words to Natasha since. On the rare occasion she visited Christian, she knew well enough to keep her distance.

Occasionally, I would be propositioned by a woman, but each one was met with the same rejection and dismissal. None of them compared to my Roza and I was content to live my life with only her memory and my dreams if needs be.

We made our way downstairs and picked up a cab. We were staying at the Luxor hotel and the club that Adrian had been talking about all evening was apparently on the other end of the Strip. We were on a human schedule so we were heading out at night, and while Las Vegas was a busy vacation spot, it was also a high risk area for Strigoi. Drunken tourists weren't typically reported missing quickly. I would have preferred a rented car for security sake, but I also knew that parking would be more than a little difficult.

The club was called Wonderland. The name alone made me hesitate, and I could see I wasn't the only one. Adrian was gun-ho to get in, but Christian eyed the building suspiciously.

"Adrian, Lissa only had one request: no strip clubs."

Adrian unleashed a trademark smirk, as if he knew exactly what Christian's reaction would be. "I promise you, there are no strippers here. These girls are simply dancers. Heck, call them artists if you will! Plus, they don't need to remove their clothing to get the party going."

Without a moment for further argument, he dragged Christian in by the wrist, leaving Eddie and I to follow him. Eddie followed the two Moroi to the bar while I made my way across the room to get a better vantage point of the area as a whole.

It was a human club, and as far as I could see, there weren't any other Moroi or dhampirs here. A large bar ran along the back with several bartenders behind it. A large stage sat opposite of the bar, with several arms extending into the audience seating area. At the end of each arm was a dance pole, and in the center of the main stage there was a long stretch of silk fabric that hung from the ceiling. The rest of the area was dedicated to seating, and consisted of many small round tables for the patrons.

I logged the particulars in the back of my mind. One main entrance with a bouncer, one main exit with another bouncer, three visible emergency exits, a set of restrooms, a VIP room and two "employee only" doors. One was leading to the stage, and the other leading to what appeared to be a store room for the bar. I could be fairly certain that the restrooms were secure since they didn't typically have any windows or doors leading to the outside, same with the bar's store room, but I'd have to keep a special focus on the VIP room and the stage door since they were unknowns and I couldn't be confident of the layout behind those closed doors. I confirmed my notes with Eddie over the earpiece and saw him look over the room before affirming my analysis.

Music pulsed through the hidden speaker system, and several dancers, males and females alike, made their way to the stage. Adrian was right, the vibe that they gave off was nothing akin to that of your stereotypical stripper. Yes, their outfits left little to the imagination and their rhythm was provocative, but it was worlds better than what I had been expecting from Adrian's plans for this weekend.

Christian and Adrian were one drink in, with Eddie standing nearby and blending in to the duo. They looked every bit the part of a bachelor party. After a while, even Eddie seemed to be relaxing and enjoying himself.

Suddenly the music started blaring a new song, and the three boys focused their attention on the center stage. The lights strobbed in time to the base beat and I continued to survey the area, ignoring the commotion. Within a few moments, my eyes grazed over my companions. Their posture was completely different than it had been before.

Christian and Eddie seemed confused, looking incredulously between Adrian and the stage. Adrian was now standing, looking like he was barely being held back from rushing the stage...or fainting. Despite his playboy reputation (which I had since come to learn was fairly unfounded) it would take quite a show to elicit that sort of reaction.

I turned my attention to the scene that had apparently captured his. Several female dancers were on the stage. Some were near the center stage, some at the poles near the end of the spoke arms. Nothing seemed to be too out of the ordinary until I sat the dancer in the dead center of the main stage.

I looked back towards Adrian who was now desperately trying to meet my eyes. As soon as he did, he nodded. Nothing else...just nodded. This simple, silent action was enough to drop my focus from every other single thing in the room.

Everything else fell away except for that one girl. My Roza.

She stood under the lengths of silk fabric, tinted purple by the surrounding lights. Her dark hair was the first thing that stood out to me. It was long, a bit longer than I remembered. She was still as trimmed and toned as the day she disappeared, something that was only too obvious because of the outfit she wore.

The base seemed like nothing more than a black sports bra and a pair of extremely short shorts, something that wouldn't have been completely unheard of in the gym during training. It was the multiple black bands that connect the two pieces and the sliver studding made it appear more risqué. I watched as she climbed the silk, stopping about twelve feet above the stage. She almost appeared to be flying as the silk caressed her body, holding her in place. She seemed to be the angel that my mind now imagined her to be. Not like the typical angel that you would expect to descend from heaven, but more like an avenging angel: strong, powerful, mysterious, and totally mesmerizing.

As the song built up to a climatic end, Rose wrapped the silk around herself, twisting in a complex pattern. The moment the final beats played, the final stanza ringing out, she suddenly dropped from the air, spinning wildly as she did so.

I felt my body pull to towards her, feeling the desperate need to catch her and protect her even after all these years. But before I could take even three steps towards the stage, the lights died as did the music. I couldn't tell if she had hit the ground or not. My heart stopped, wondering if she was okay, as the lights came back up. She stood next to the aerial silks, acknowledging the crowd with a small wave before taking a bow and disappearing off stage.

Without further delay, I strode over to the rest of our party. Christian simply stared at the now empty stage, Eddie kept asking how it could possibly be her, and Adrian's face flashed back and forth between disbelief and joy.

"Adrian, was that Rose?" Despite his earlier confirmation, I needed him to say the words.

"Yes, the moment she stepped out, I could see her aura. Thank goodness I'm going slow on the drinks tonight. I could recognize her instantly." His face beamed with excitement while the rest of us appeared more confused and disbelieving than anything. Almost reverently, he spoke again. "She's alive."

He said what I was unable to.

When Eddie finally found his voice a moment later, he signaled over the bartender. While I didn't blame him for the sudden need for a drink – Lord knows I wouldn't mind one myself after what had just happened – I was surprised, since he didn't tend to partake. The short haired blonde sauntered over and gave a wink his way. She reminded me of Lissa, but I didn't have long to ponder the resemblance.

"What's tonight's poison of choice, hun?"

"Actually looking for a name," he replied as her smile faltered just a little. "Who was that dancer, the one who was using the aerial silks?"

"Oh her? She's pretty amazing, isn't she?" An odd sense of pride crossed her face while she spoke. The rest of us nodded and gave a small sound of agreement. "She goes by Shadow Kiss here."

Adrian and I raised our eyebrows to the odd yet fitting pseudonym. It seemed like all of the staff here had some false name to keep an air of mystery here.

"She looks like an old friend of mine, one I haven't seen in a while. Could you give us her real name?"

The bartender, who apparently went by "Princess" eyed us for a long moment or two, before decided that she could trust us with her coworker's name.

"Ivy. Her name is Ivy."

I felt the weight sink in my chest. The others visibly fell at the revelation as well. She had looked so much like her. Adrian had been so sure. Perhaps the alcohol was affecting him more than he initially thought.

The worst part was that I had actually thought – I had actually hoped – that we had found her. The pain felt like the sting of a fresh wound rather than the dull ache of an old scare that I had been suffering with for the past several years.

"Thank you" Eddie offered sadly.

The girl looked between us for a while longer, furrowing her brows as if debating whether or not to say something else. Finally, after checking to see that nobody else was nearby, she leaned over the bar.

"When did you last see your friend? How long has it been?" Her voice was loud enough for us to understand her words, but quiet enough not to be over heard by others.

"Two years, five months" I said quietly, the words tinted with disappointment rather than secrecy. My answer was automatic. I didn't have to think for even a moment. The day I lost Rose was even more ingrained into my mind than the day that I had met her.

Christian and Adrian looked a tad surprised by how accurately I remembered her absence. Eddie just nodded knowingly in sympathy and understanding. He had lost someone too, and couldn't forget the date if he tried.

'Princess' or whatever her real name was looked off for a moment, her mouth moving silently as she seemed to think over what I had just said. After a moment, she snapped back towards me with a look of shock.

I couldn't understand her reaction at all, but she glanced between me and the stage for a moment before asking for my phone number.

I had been hit on before, and while it sounded like a classic line, the delivery was entirely off. I had no clue why she wanted that particular information, but the way she asked for it left me agreeing without question. I wrote it on a small piece of scrap paper, along with my first name, and as soon as the final digit was written down she pulled it from under my hand eagerly.

"Thanks. You..." she hesitated, choosing her words carefully but still showing signs of her earlier energy. "You might be hearing from me...or someone...soon." With that she turned, and walked away, heading back towards the other side of the bar where several other patrons waited impatiently.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming!" She threw one last look our way before tossing her head back and giving a short, self-satisfied laugh.

"Well, that wasn't the strangest conversation ever" Christian confessed sarcastically.

"Yeah," Adrian agreed, looking slightly perplexed at everything that has just happened. He quickly composed himself though and gave his signature devil-may-care grin. "And who knew that Belikov would be the one scoring with the ladies tonight?"

I gave a small huff of annoyance as I turned to return to my earlier position on the other side of the room. Adrian and Christian chuckled as I left, and Eddie shook his head in mock irritation, perhaps lamenting the fact that he still had to play near guard to the two Moroi who would only become more annoying as the night – and drinks – continued.

We stayed at the first bar for a while longer, before moving on to one of the few Moroi clubs in town. This one was called the Witching Hour. Adrian had reserved a small private booth to enjoy the dancers, who resembled the classic and perhaps stereotypical Vegas Showgirl rather than more modern performances that we had seen at Wonderland. Eddie and I were able to relax a bit more – though not completely – since this place was both warded and had several trained guardians on retainer as security. Eddie even succumbed to the pressure of the Moroi and accepted one drink in exchange for them not pressing the issue any more that evening. I declined and they knew better than to push further.


	5. Chapter 5

 

* * *

–  **DIMITRI –**

* * *

Around 1:30, Adrian suggested bringing the party back to the hotel room. Nobody had any objections or better suggestions so we called a cab. I was honestly ready to be done with the evening and was looking forward to winding down with a few pages of reading before bed. We had only been there about 10 minutes before there was a sharp knock on the door.

Both Eddie and I jumped up, hands on our stakes and ready for battle. The timing alone was odd enough to elicit such a reaction. I nodded Eddie to the door and he took a quick look through the peephole before relaxing and sounding an extremely put out groan. The look that he threw Adrian was full of venom while Adrian just sat back with an expression of knowing glee.

"Aren't you going to answer the door?" he smirked playfully.

Christian gave him a perplexed look before Eddie – rather reluctantly – pulled open the door.

The girl on the other side left little to the imagination, both in her dress and as to what her profession was. She stood with her hand on her hip, resting only a few inches above her tight dress's hemline.

"Adrian..." Christian warned carefully, "Lissa had only one instruction for you. Just one. You couldn't even handle that?"

"What's the saying again? What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?" Adrian looked towards me as if I would offer some sort of back up but I wasn't helping him out on this one. I had never been one to take interest in strip clubs or their draw, so to speak. I had no desire to sit through the madness that was sure to ensue here.

"Well, that is my cue to leave. You got this Eddie?" I didn't wait for his reply as I started to get up and head towards the door, snatching my jacket in the process.

The stripper shot me a little pout before turning her sights on Eddie. She made her way into the room, leaving only an inch or so between them as she brushed by, if that.

Poor Eddie looked terrified. The boy could take down Strigoi with the best of them, but a half-naked girl and he froze. He shut the door in a slight state of shock and followed the woman into the room. Well, she was more or less dragging him behind her. She had a finger hooked into his shirt between two buttons, but he didn't put up any resistance.

As the pair passed me, I gave her a nod.

"Ma'am."

"Cowboy," She flirted back playfully, looking me up and down before turning her sights on Eddie again.

I laughed, leaving the party behind me. I trusted Eddie could handle anything that came their way, though I suspected that the most dangerous thing that would happen would actually come when Lissa heard about the sudden twist in the night.

I hesitated in the hallway outside of the suite. We had been occupying the one that Eddie was sharing with Adrian. He had drawn the short straw on that one. I could easily return mine and Christian's room next door. I had packed a small paperback and could spend more than a few hours reading. Heck, it was late enough that there was no shame in turning in for the night either. However, a face from earlier kept haunting me.

We had seen Ivy perform several more times that night, albeit at a distance, and I couldn't get her similarity to Rose's appearance out of my mind. So instead of turning left towards the well-worn Western in my bag, I turned right towards the elevators.

It only took me a few minutes to walk the distance from the hotel back to Wonderland. I idly pondered if the cab ride earlier in the night had actually taken longer than I had on foot. As I reentered the club, I decided to take a seat closer to the stage in hopes of seeing Ivy a bit better. There were only a few seats open, the closest being at the end of one of the radiating spokes, near the dancer's pole.

Perhaps it was some form of self-induced torture masquerading as therapy, but I had to see her again. Even if she wasn't Rose, she looked close enough that for a moment, I could pretend. I could pretend she was my Roza. I could pretend she was alive. I could pretend she was safe.

Granted, this wasn't the life I would have expected or wanted for her. I glanced around and the dozens of hungry eyed men. I couldn't really pass judgment however. Even if my reason for sitting here now was slightly different than theirs, it still didn't quite make this acceptable. Plus, it wasn't like I had put up too much of an argument before when Adrian dragged us here earlier.

I had only sat down for a moment or two before a waitress, who apparently went by 'Mystic', handed me a drink. I didn't have time to protest it before she spoke.

"On the house. Compliments of the bartender."

I looked towards the bar where 'Princess' gave me a small wave.

I felt slightly awkward taking the drink, wondering if perhaps I had really misinterpreted the earlier encounter and she was actually making a pass at me. Until I saw the small note written on the napkin that accompanied the glass, that is.

_**She gets off at 3am.** _

I looked at her again, and she gave me a sharp nod before returning her attention to another patron.

With nobody but myself to feel responsible for, I swallowed the Jack and Coke as the music started and a few dancers made their way out amidst the stage smoke and flashing lights.

It was difficult to see for a moment through the fog, but I was aware that a figure had made their way towards the pole in front of me. A flash of skin and a whip of hair were all that I got while the young lady danced. Then the smoke cleared and time seemed to stop.

She paused in beat to the music, her eyes locking directly with mine. I would remember those eyes anywhere. My breath stopped as I took in the rest of her features. Her hair was nearly to her waist now, but appeared to have the same texture of silk that tempted me to touch. Her skin, though tinted by the stage lights, was still as smooth and tan as I continually dreamt it was. Even her curves rang a familiar bell in my mind as I remembered the night I had ran my hand down their length.

This girl didn't just look like Rose. She was Rose.

The last bit of doubt left my mind as I noticed her questioning look was laced with both surprise and recognition. Her expression was still off though. I wasn't sure what I had expected, but it definitely wasn't the confusion I was met with.

She broke the eye contact with me as she remembered what she was doing. The music suddenly seemed to come back, as did the lights and the other patrons surrounding us. I watched her as she gracefully danced, spinning and moving in time to the vaguely familiar song. I wasn't paying attention to the song however. A storm of feelings, both emotional – and yes, even physical – warred within me.

It had been so long since I'd seen her. How did she end up here? How did she end up doing this? Why didn't she return to the Academy? If she could somehow find her way to Vegas, then certainly she could have found a way to get back to St. Vladimir's. Why hadn't she reached out to anyone? Not her mother, not Lissa, not even me.

Even as these thoughts plagued me, the more primal side of my mind begged me to keep my focus on her. It wasn't difficult. She was beautiful. She always had been, but the past several years had done well for her and physically matured her in a way that I couldn't describe. It took a measured amount of self-control not to jump out of my chair, on to the stage, take her in my arms, and kiss her senseless. I felt a certain satisfaction as I appeared to capture her attention as well. I watched as she peeked back at me every moment she could. She ignored the other patrons around us completely.

The reminder that I wasn't the only one who could see her like this sent a wave of jealous rage through me, and I quickly suppressed it so I didn't cause a scene. I had to remind myself that this wasn't her first night here. She could have been here for years, as far as I knew. I had seen her dance several times tonight during our short stay, and it was inevitable that she had danced after we had left also. For all I knew, hundreds if not thousands of men had been given the privilege of watching her. There was nothing I could do to change that, and blindly fighting with those here in a misguided attempt to protect her now would only cause issues for us both.

As the music ended, she tossed me one last look. I knew I was openly staring at her and prayed that my face didn't betray my emotions. Without a word, she let her own gaze trace me up and down and with smirk that hinted towards approval and seduction, before she turned and walked away.

I saw her twice more that night. Once, again on the aerial silks where her strength, grace, and agility reminded me of the powerful girl I had once known. The second time was during a partner dance, where my blood boiled at the young man who so brazenly held her close to him. Part of it was anger, part of it was jealousy, and a part of it was despair. They pair looked so in sync, so natural with each other, that it was hard to ignore the sexual tension the built around them. Even the way she looked at him was like a knife to my chest, because it was so reminiscent of the way she had once looked at me.

I couldn't take it anymore after that. I knew I needed to confront her, to speak to her. I needed to know why she was here and why she never came back since it seemed like she was perfectly capable of doing so.

It was less than ten minutes until 3am. The single drink that I had enjoyed earlier hadn't even left a buzz, and I knew that I needed something to calm my nerves before talking to Rose. I walked up to the bar, waving 'Princess' over and ordering a shot of Russian Vodka. That should do the trick.

"You look a bit less chipper than when you walked in her," she noted.

I choose to ignore her observation, not knowing how to explain myself. "I need to see her. I need to talk to her. Please," I could hear the plea in my voice, "tell me how I can find her."

She puckered her lips for a moment. I don't know if it was the fact that she pitied me practically begging her for an answer, but she finally said, "Out the front entrance, down the alley to the left. It'll take her a few minutes to get ready, but she always leaves through that door. Don't tell her I told you and for the love of God...be careful."

I didn't wait to hear anymore, laying down some cash on the bar and making my way back towards the front entrance. Her warning amused me a bit, knowing that the last thing on my mind was the fear of walking down a dark alley alone. Instead, I was elated...or at least I think I was. There was a part of me that was still angry and wanted nothing more than to yell at her. But there was also a part of me – a fairly significant part – that wanted to hold her close like I had wished to do for the past several years, the way I feared I never would get the chance to.

* * *

** ~ ROSE ~ **

* * *

The shift was practically boring. I knew my routines like the back of my hand. Everything was running smoothly. Even the customers were behaving themselves for the most part. While I was grateful for the easy night, I was vaguely curious as to why there wasn't more excitement. Usually there was at least something worth telling Marie the next day.

About an hour before the end of my shift, I found it. Well, specifically, I found him. It was during the routine to "Feeling Good" by Michael Buble. It was much jazzier than my signature aerial silk piece I had performed earlier tonight: Katy Perry's "Dark Horse." One thing I really appreciated about Wonderland was that it tended to use a verity of songs and styles. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Def Leppard as much as the next girl, but "Pour Some Sugar On Me" is a little cliché in places like these.

He was sitting at the end of the far right catwalk, near my pole. I didn't recognize him at first through the stage smoke, but it didn't take long after it started to clear. The men who came night after night generally blended into the background by now, but he stood out.

His height is what caught my attention first. Even sitting, he was taller than most of the men I typically saw. I recognized him almost immediately. I had seen him dozens of time in my daydreams. It was almost as if the mysterious man from those private moments had been brought to life before me. Well, perhaps not so mysterious. In those dreams, he was called Dimitri. The dark shoulder-length hair, the chocolate eyes, even the strong jaw that seemed to hold his tension though he tried to hide it. Every feature of his mesmerized me, but none more than the way he looked at me.

I was used to men leering at me lustfully. I could see a bit of lust in his gaze as well, but it was overshadowed by every other emotion that ran across his face. Shock, disbelief, curiosity, and above all else, a sense of awe. It was as if he was witnessing some sort of miracle before his eyes. Nobody had ever stared at me like that before. It made me feel...strange. Special, almost. The way he looked at me hinted at more than adoration, but I wasn't sure what.

I nearly missed my cue before I started dancing again. Somehow this man captivated me nearly as much as I appeared to enthrall him. I kept looking towards him throughout the song. By the song's end, we were both unabashedly staring at the other. He was like a riddle and I was dying to find out the answer. He both entranced me and perplexed me. Honestly, it was slightly frustrating. However, as I gave him one final once over, I had to admit that he was extremely attractive. He might just be worth the fight

Jason laughed at me as I walked off stage. He was already dressed and ready for our tango later, though I still had one more aerial silk routine before that. Partner routines were a new offering here, one that I had personally requested when I realized how much I missed them from my dance classes in Spokane. Thankfully, the stage manager happened to be a ballroom enthusiast as well, so now in addition to his usual duties, he performs once or twice a night with me.

I knew he didn't mind the job though. Jason had a slight crush on me that he had no issue making known. He'd been pursuing me since I started working here but I knew it would never really come to fruition. The chemistry was there, but the emotions weren't. Thankfully, it makes for a fairly convincing dance partnership.

"You looked a bit distracted out there, Ivy." His grin told me that he had seen the entire thing between me and mystery man out there.

"Oh shut it, Jason. I was just playing it up to the customer." Total. Bold. Faced. Lie.

"Hun, I've seen you play it up to the customer. That was not playing it up to the customer. That was flirting."

I could feel my cheeks burn slightly at his observation. I resisted the urge to hit him and instead rolled my eyes and tried to play it off like it was no big thing.

"Whatever. I have to be back in the silks in ten minutes and we have a tango in twenty. If you don't mind, I need to go get ready." I didn't wait for an answer before walking away.

I couldn't get him off my mind though. I had seen him so many times in my daydreams. I didn't even know how it was possible for him to be a real person, for him to be here. And the way he made me feel with just a look was...frankly indescribable. My heart started racing a bit just remembering it. I knew that I would probably never see him again, and that was probably for the best. Part of me wanted to get to know him better, and another part of me was worried that he just saw me as another pretty face dancing on a pole. The way he was looking at me though...No. If I focused on the sort of reaction he had on me, then I wasn't going to make it through the rest of my shift.

Eventually, my shift ended. I was able to make it the rest of the night without looking at him again. I could almost feel his eyes on me, not in a creepy way, but as if he was studying me so intently that his gaze became a physical sensation. Knowing that he was watching pushed me further into my routines, desperate to keep his attention.

As I finished getting dressed back into my street clothing and took off my makeup, I toyed with the idea of going out to introduce myself to the man. This was the first time I had ever had that temptation, and after several minutes of debating, I decided against it. As intriguing as he was, he was still a stranger. While it wasn't a strip club, my workplace still wasn't the ideal place to meet a guy.

I walked out the back entrance and started heading through the back alley toward the employee lot. Perhaps it wasn't so very wise to walk through this area alone, but most people were more concerned about what was happening on the main Strip with the lights, music, and street performers. I wasn't worried about anyone waiting for a girl walking through the alleyway.

Tonight though, someone was.

"Roza."

I turned towards the sound automatically. His face was slightly obscured by the low light but I was still able to see him fairly well. Even if I had only been able to see his silhouette, I would have recognized him. He was at least 6'6 and likely taller. But suddenly the mystery man was less intriguing and a bit more intimidating.

His voice was calm, non-threatening, but I was still on edge. I glanced behind me towards the exit I just came through. It locked automatically when closed. The man was blocking my escape towards the street. There was no way my coworkers or the pedestrians nearby would hear me scream. I was on my own. I really need to stop taking this exit.

"Roza. Rose. I...I can't believe it's you."

"I – I'm not sure you should. I don't know who this 'Rose' is you're talking about." I was trying to keep a distance between us, taking a step back with every step he took towards me. Unfortunately, his stride was much larger than my own.

His entire demeanor changed with my words. Where he had once been almost reverent, he was now almost offended. The sudden mood shift didn't ease my heart rate any.

"That's right. You go by Ivy now, don't you?" It was as if my name was a personal affront to him.

I was shocked that he knew my name. At the club, we were careful not to refer to each other by anything other than our stage name in front of patrons. I was beginning to wonder if this man was more than an over eager customer. Perhaps he was a stalker. One of the girls had to deal with one a while back and it had been messy.

"Look, Sir, I don't know who you are-"

"What do you mean you don't know who I am?" I was a bit surprised at the sincerity in his tone.

"I mean...I've never seen you before tonight." Technically that was a lie, but I could say that I never saw him face to face before tonight. Moving towards me, he had also moved significantly to the left side of the alley. It wasn't much, but if this man had any intention to harm me, then I needed to take any chance I could at escaping.

He saw my intention a nanosecond before I moved. I made it approximately three steps past him before I felt his hand on my shoulder. I reacted in self-defense, turning towards him as I brushed his hand aside and aiming a kick towards his knee to be followed by a strike to his throat.

The kick never connected though. He blocked it. Not only did he block that move, he blocked every other move I attempted. It was as if he could foresee everything I was going to do. He stopped everything but offered no counter in return. It became clear pretty quickly that he didn't have a single intention to hurt me.

After a couple of minutes of our one-sided battle, I just simply stopped. I stopped fighting him and stepped back. He dropped his guard as soon as I did and we just looked at each other, neither knowing what just happened or where to go from here. I suddenly noticed we had switched places during the fight, my back now to the open end of the alley, giving me an escape. Without a second thought...I ran.


	6. Chapter 6

–  **DIMITRI – **

* * *

She had fought with me and it was like going back in time. I felt like we were in the gym again. I could tell that I had unnerved her, perhaps even scared her by approaching her in the alley, so I never countered. But her technique was still fairly strong, even if it was a bit rusty.

Her entire reaction to me had surprised and confused me though. Not so much that she had defended herself against someone she saw as a threat – history had told me that she would do so time and time again – but the fact that she saw me as a threat in the first place. She even claimed to have never met me before.

She was still fast. Very fast. By the time my senses caught up to the fact that she was actually running from me she was long gone. I had lost sight over her in the heavy crowds. She had once again vanished like a ghost. Without any idea of where to look for her now, I started back towards the hotel.

What would I tell the others? Should I even tell the others? Our sighting earlier had shaken all of us, especially when we thought we had been completely wrong. We had all faced false leads before and each time was nothing but pain. Poor Adrian had taken the news the hardest. Between drinks five and nine, all he seemed to do was repeat "I was so sure" over and over again. It was a blessed relief to us all when he finally forgot the beginning of the night after drink number eleven. If she was running from me, from us..maybe she didn't want to be found. Maybe it was better they just think it was another close call...

It didn't make any sense. Why would she deny knowing me? Why would she change her name? What would cause her to do either?

* * *

**~ ROSE ~ **

* * *

I made it home, still running the alley scene in my mind over and over again. I analyzed everything, from the way he approached me, to what he said and how he said it. I even examined the way that we had fought. Even though I had only thought of him as some strange manifestation of the man in my daydreams, he seemed to be extremely familiar with me even if some of the minor facts – you know, like my name – were wrong.

I didn't have much time alone with my thoughts before Marie blazed through the door.

"So...did tall, dark, and handsome come find you?"

"Excuse me?"

"The extremely attractive man with the long hair and sexy accent. He was asking about you at the bar."

"AND YOU TOLD HIM TO APPROACH ME IN THE ALLEY!? Marie, he could have been a stalker for all you knew. Were you the one who told him my name too?" I was getting more and more upset by the minute but she seemed perfectly calm. It only served to piss me off more.

"Yep, and if he's a stalker, he's by far the worst one that I had ever seen."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, according to him and his friends, they haven't seen you in over two years."

That stopped me in my tracks. "Two years?"

She nodded excitedly when she heard the understanding in my voice. "Yep. That's what I thought."

"Do you think that maybe he..."

"Exactly," she agreed to my unfinished thought. "That's also why I pick up this." She slid a small paper across the kitchen counter.

I unfolded it to find a phone number written in extremely neat handwriting and underneath it was a name: Dimitri.

I was in shock. It was one thing to see a man that looked like the one in my daydreams. It was another for him to have the same name. Plus he apparently recognized me. Wrong name but still... it wasn't possible.

"You should call him," Marie offered. "Even if he doesn't know your past, he would make a nice addition to your future."

I laughed at her insinuation, but couldn't quite disagree. "I'll call him in the morning."

"It's already 4am."

"You know what I mean."

"Well, don't wait too long. Between you and me, his little group didn't look local."

I nodded with a long yawn. Marie mimicked me a moment later before suggesting we both hit the sack.

* * *

Around 1pm the next day, I was slowly typing the 10 digits into my cell, calling myself crazy the entire time. The phone only rang twice before I heard his deep voice over the line.

"Belikov." His greeting was short and sharp, almost military-like in precision.

"Um...Dimitri?"

"Roza," his voice softened dramatically, and he whispered the word as if it was sacred.

"Ivy...actually."

"Yes," He corrected himself, some of that warmth leaving. "Ivy. My apologies. What can I do for you Ivy?"

"Well, Marie – the bartender you spoke to last night – she explained a few things to me after work. I'm sorry for the way I acted in the alley."

"Please, don't apologize. I shouldn't have approached you like that. You had every right to defend yourself."

"Yeah, a dark alley in the middle of the night probably wasn't the best idea," I laughed nervously. He didn't. "Anyways...Marie said that you might, well, know some things about me. I was wondering if you'd like to try this talking thing again. Maybe over coffee, in a well-lit public area?"

"That...that would be great." He still didn't laugh, but if I listened hard I could almost hear a hint of a grin. "I'm not here for long though, would today work?"

Less than two hours later, I was in one of the many Starbucks that dotted the town. I was still blowing on my hot chocolate when the four men came in. A few customers raised their heads as they came in, and I didn't blame them. There was no way that they could go unnoticed. While Dimitri was the tallest of the bunch, the other three weren't much shorter.

I didn't need to catch their attention as they spotted me immediately. Two of them, the sandy blond and the dark haired one with the ice blue eyes, looked at me like I was a ghost. The one with eyes like emeralds looked almost...victorious? As for me, I was shocked because I recognized the trio just like I had recognized Dimitri; from my daydreams. Perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised, but it's not very often you meet the literal man of your dreams, and I'd done so four times in less than 24 hours.

"So let me guess," I started, shaking their hands in turn. "Christian, Eddie, Adrian, and of course Dimitri."

"Nice to see you again," Dimitri hesitated, "Ivy."

"So she's really going by Ivy now?" The dark haired one, Christian, remarked snarkily as if I wasn't here.

"Well, that is my name." I don't know why, but this guy was rubbing me the wrong way.

"Bull-"

"Christian!" Adrian interrupted, cutting off the impending argument. He looked at me strangely, almost like he was trying to get a read off of me. "Ivy, you seem a bit curious and confused. What's on your mind?"

"Well, first off, the past day has been one of the strangest ever. And trust me when I say that I've had some really odd days."

"Like what, for example?" Eddie offered.

"Well, we can start with the fact that I've seen all four of you several times before, but I've never actually met you. As far as I knew, you were odd but strangely detailed figments of my imagination and yet...here you are." The sarcasm and disbelief was thick in my voice, but I honestly didn't quite know how to handle the situation. It wasn't like there was a precedent for this sort of thing.

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"I get these...extremely vivid daydreams. They aren't quite normal. They almost feel real, like an out of body experience of sorts."

Adrian let out a laugh, which felt entirely inappropriate considering what I had just told him. "She's still bonded. She's still connected with Lissa."

I stared at him blankly. He literally made no sense to me.

"Who else do you see in those daydreams?" He prompted.

I thought for a moment. "Well, you four play a fairly significant role. Adrian less so than the others, but I've probably seen more of Christian than I'd care to admit...unfortunately."

The smug jerk looked slightly embarrassed as Adrian mocked his shame.

"You two..." I pointed to Dimitri and Eddie "...always seem to be nearby, but more like shadows than anything else. There are lots of other people, more than I can count. Who's Lissa? I keep hearing her name but I've never seen her. Most of what I hear in the daydreams doesn't make any sense."

Dimitri spoke this time. "You don't know who Princess Vasilisa – Lissa – is?"

"Should I? She feels important but I can't figure out why."

"She's your best friend. She's your charge. You've known each other since you were kids..." he met my blank stare incredulously. "You really have no idea?"

"None, but you guys should probably know something." I paused, not for dramatic effect but because it always seemed to be a big production every time I tried to explain my situation. "I don't remember anything from my childhood. I don't remember anything from before about two years ago. Doctors call it dissociative amnesia because of some traumatic episode. Hell, for all I know, you guys are right and my name is Rose rather than Ivy. I woke up one day in a park in Spokane, and that was the beginning for me."

As soon as I mentioned Spokane, all four men seemed to perk up. Christian and Eddie just grinned like idiots between each other, Adrian started laughing, and Dimitri...well for someone who looked so completely in control, he seemed to be on the verge of losing it. He actually turned from the rest of us to catch his breath, running his fingers through his hair.

"When?" he asked me desperately, "When exactly."

"January third."

A smile broke out across his face, full of hope and relief.

"Rose, the girl we are looking for, disappeared January second of the same year...in Spokane, Washington."

There was a very pregnant pause before I spoke again. There was too much here to be considered coincidence. "How did she disappear?"

Christian, Eddie, and Dimitri all looked away, suddenly unable to meet my eyes...much less answer my question. I could almost see the physical weight of guilt rest on their shoulders and while I didn't know why they felt that way, it did nothing to calm my nerves as to what could have happened.

"She was held hostage for a short while." My breath caught as Adrian offered a vague yet horrid explanation. "She was able to overpower her captors...but she lost one of her closest friends in the process. We assume that the experience was simply too overwhelming. It would be for anyone. We think she ran from the scene and nobody has seen her since. At least...not until now."

The information hit me like a freight train. The chances that I was who these people thought I was was almost certain, and perhaps that should have been a relief but it was actually terrifying. I had spent the past several years building – or rebuilding – a life around me. I gave up on ever returning to whatever life I had known before long ago when nobody came for me. Now what? Was I expected to simply return to a life that I still had no recollection of? Yet could I really walk away from this knowing that I might be able to regain my history? There was no easy answer, but I knew which option I would regret if I didn't take it.

"What's my name?"

Adrian looked slightly startled at my sudden change in subject, but Dimitri looked at me with sympathetic eyes that seemed to be filled with a depth of emotion despite his stoic face.

"Your name," he said, "is Rosemarie Hathaway."

* * *

–  **DIMITRI ** –

* * *

I could see the moment she made up her mind. Her face shifted from the scared and confused young lady I had once known to the determined woman that had been ripped away from me far too soon. My doubt as to who Ivy really was had been swept away in a moment last night, but to see her accept the possibility was almost too good to be true. I felt like I was dreaming, and I couldn't tell if I was waiting to wake up disappointed and alone. She seemed willing to at least listen to us, but I knew it would be a whole different story to convince her to return with us.

I was also concerned with the revelation that she had no memory of anything before the night after she disappeared. She didn't remember Vasilisa, who was literally ingrained into her spirit. She didn't remember her family or friends. She didn't remember me. Who knows what else she couldn't remember?

We answered questions for hours. I knew that the others had been hesitant when I had insisted we see Ivy/Rose this afternoon after her call. Hope can be cruel when it is stolen away, and none of us were ready to gamble it again. This time, luck was on our side. She started off with basic things like her birthday, how old she was,, where did she go to school. Nothing too deep, but I could already see her countenance getting heavy with the weight of simply learning who she was. There was a certain sadness in watching her take notes on what should have been her basic information.

Eventually, with a deep breath, she started delving into more complex information.

"Something's been bothering me. This girl, Lissa, you said that we've known each other since we were small children. You said she was my best friend. You also said she was something else...my charge." Her last few words came out more as a question than anything else.

My mind went blank, only to fill with several curses in my native tongue when I started to realize exactly what she was asking. Before I could speak, Eddie beat me to it.

"Rose, you said you remember nothing from before. Absolutely nothing?"

"Nope. Nothing consciously at least. You put a math question in front of me and I can figure it out, but I don't remember learning how to figure it out, I just know how to."

She looked my direction for her next words. "Same with fighting. I don't remember learning how to fight, but one day it became necessary and my body just knew what to do. Just like last night. I don't know where it came from, it's almost instinctual."

Eddie shot me a mild glare, unbeknownst to the others, when he realized that Rose and I had a small altercation last night.

Rose continued without missing a beat, tapping her head and with a humorless laugh, "It's burned up here somewhere."

Realizing that nobody had answered her initial question, I took it upon myself to do so.

"Rose, you were being trained to be a Guardian; a bodyguard of sorts. You were preparing to protect Lissa."

"She needed a bodyguard? Why?"

"She's important in our society. Very important in fact. Her full name is Princess Vasilisa Dragomir."

"Princess? Um...wow." She took in the information before her face sparked with a sudden thought. "So where are you guys from? None of you have accents...or, well, most of you don't." She shot me a playful grin and my heart jumped. It was a sudden flash to all those times we had joked during training, and every time I had taken that for granted.

Christian looked clueless as to just what she was getting at, "We live here, Rose. Well, we live at Court in Pennsylvania, but we live in the US."

"Then...how is she a Princess?"

I could see Eddie and Adrian slowly piecing together what I had feared.

"She's a Moroi Princess, the last of her Royal line." It sounded totally displaced with what I was saying, but I could hear the despair in my voice as I anticipated her reaction.

"Moroi?"

That one word seemed to solidify everything for us. We were dealing with something much more difficult that we had anticipated. It was one thing to remind her of who she was...it would be a whole different thing to convince her of  _what_  she was and an entire society and race that she would most likely view as something from a storybook.

"Crap." Christian seemed to be stunned, picking up on the full weight of the situation and saying what I'm sure we were all thinking. Adrian stared at her stunned, and Eddie just looked overwhelmed. For her part, Rose was just confused. I couldn't blame her, she literally had no idea what was happening right now.

Before our conversation could go any further, I leaned towards Adrian, breaking him from his stupor as I spoke to him privately.

"This isn't the proper place to discuss this. Perhaps we should head back to the hotel room."

Adrian looked a bit perplexed, knowing full and well that Rose wouldn't leave with four relative strangers. I rose my eyebrow, giving a silent hint and his eyes widened when he understood. He gave a small nod, almost disappointed but knowing there was no other option, before turning to Rose.

Rose glanced back and forth between us during our quiet conversation before settling on him as he cleared his throat.

"Rose. Come with back to our hotel room. We'll talk more there."

I felt a small twinge of guilt as I watched her eyes glass over under the influence of the compulsion spell. It was nothing compared to what I knew Adrian was feeling at this moment. He tossed some cash on the table and stood before she replied, already knowing she would agree.


	7. Chapter 7

** ROSE POV **

* * *

We were sitting in a fairly lavish suit at the Luxor hotel. I sat in one of the armchairs, with Adrian and Christian sitting on the couch across from me. Christian chewed on his thumbnail, a nervous tic that accompanied his distant look. Adrian seemed focused but he kept reaching towards his pocket, as if searching for a flask despite the drink in front of him on the coffee table. Eddie paced back and forth behind the sofa and Dimitri stood off to my side. While everyone else seemed nervous and unsure, he seemed completely emotionless. He was almost too calm. I felt concerned as to what was bubbling under the surface.

"So..." I broke the awkward silence. "Moroi. What's a Moroi?"

Everyone looked at one another, but it was Adrian who finally started explaining.

"There is more out there than you can imagine Rose. Our society is kept fairly secret from the general population, though it wasn't always that way. These days, most humans have no clue beyond what they hear in legends or in the moview, but we have been around for as long as anyone can remember. Moroi are...vampires."

I laughed. It was so ridiculous that it had to be some sort of joke. "So I am some sort of bodyguard to a vampire princess?"

My laughter died as I noticed that nobody else was amused as I was.

"No." All my previous humor was suddenly gone and replaced with desperation as I protested the idea. "Vampires aren't real. They're pale, red-eyed demons from nightmares. Nothing more."

I looked towards Dimitri for confirmation. I didn't understand why, but I felt like I was already relying on him to support me during this madness. He wasn't looking at me though. He was looking towards Eddie a bit surprised.

"Those are the Strigoi," Eddie replied. "Have you seen them before?"

"Like I said...nightmares." I bit my lip, ashamed at what I'd just admitted.

"There are two types of vampires," Adrian continued. "What you described are Strigoi. They're undead, immortal, soul-less. They're much more like the Dracula type vampires that most people tend to envision. They kill most of their victims and turn others to be like them. Then you have the Moroi, like Christian and I. We grow, age, and die just like you. We don't kill those we feed from. We have some power over one of the five elements."

"Wait," I interrupted. "You are a vampire?"

Adrian nodded.

"You drink blood?"

Again he nodded, though he added. "But we never kill them."

"So...you have...fangs?"

Adrian and Christian chuckled at the insane question before they each offered me a grin wider than I had ever seen from either of them up until this point. It took me a second to notice, but as soon as I saw the pointed teeth, I jumped and pressed my back as far as I could into the chair in a frantic attempt to create some distance between us.

My fear was obviously not the desired – nor anticipated – reaction. Dimitri was immediately crouching in front of me, hiding the others from my view as he took my hands and tried to calm my rapid breathing.

"They're...they are..." I couldn't finish my thoughts as I started hyperventilating.

"Rose. Roza. Look at me." I felt his hand brush my cheek as he forced my eyes to lock with his. "Breathe Roza. They won't hurt you. None of us will hurt you."

Looking at him, I saw this complete sincerity and even though I didn't know why, I knew I could trust him. Still, overwhelmed and confused at what I was being told, I felt the need for stability. I needed a rock to cling to in this storm. Before I could think about what I was doing, I launched myself forward and into his arms. My face pressed into his neck, taking in the oddly comforting scent of his aftershave.

He stiffened for a moment, caught off guard by my sudden affection. However, I soon felt his arms wrap around me and hold me close as I shook. Vaguely, I could feel his fingers tangle in my hair as he whispered in an unknown language. It had a strange calming effect on me that I didn't understand or question.

As my frayed nerves began to rest I heard Dimitri switch to English. "It's okay my Roza. I'm here. I'll always be here. I'll never let anything hurt you. I promise. Never again."

I closed my eyes and pressed closer to him, allowing his words to wash over me. I believed him completely.

* * *

After a few minutes, we had pulled apart to realize that the others had given us some privacy and a chance to calm down. Well, I was the only one in need of calming, but they understood. A half hour or so later, several pizzas arrived to the room and we reconvened in the sitting area. It was the first time that I saw Adrian and Christian again, and this time, they sat in the two arm chairs while I sat on the sofa with Dimitri and Eddie on either side.

Though Adrian and Christian – the Moroi Vampires, I guess – were respectfully trying to keep a healthy distance, it was the space between me and Dimitri that seemed to span miles. I could reach out and touch him if I wished, but the sudden lack of contact made me feel suddenly alone.

We all ate in silence for a while before I built up the resolve to speak again.

"So, you're vampires..."

"Yes." Christian spoke slowly, carefully, as if handling fragile glass.

"And what about you?" I looked towards Eddie, too afraid to ask this of Dimitri. "Are you a vampire too?"

"No." His smile was friendly, and relaxed me a little. "At least not completely. We're sort of a cross breed if you will; half human and half Moroi. We get some of benefits of both races. We have a stronger endurance like a human, but a better immunity like the Moroi. We also inherit their increased senses, but don't have to deal with drinking blood."

I winced at how casually he mentioned something like that, but tried to press forward.

"So...if you aren't human, and you aren't Moroi, what are you?"

"We're called dhampirs." He said it so normally, like this fact wasn't completely otherworldly. It was just a fact for him.

"You and Dimitri are dhampirs."

Eddie glanced at Dimitri over my shoulder, and I could see that he was debating on saying something else. Instead, it was Dimitri who spoke.

"Not just us, Rose. You are a dhampir too."

I could feel the earlier tension building up in me, the part of me that wanted to scream and run from the room telling them that they were crazy and had the wrong girl. Instead, I fought the urge to break down again.

"Oh," I replied stupidly, staring at the ground as I tried to take it in. Nobody spoke for a while, but I could feel their stares on me as they waited for me to react. "Do I control an element?"

"What?"

I looked up, glancing at one face after another. Everyone seemed confused as to what I meant, but I focused on Christian who had spoken up. "Earlier, Adrian said the Moroi control an element. Do I?"

"No," he replied. "Only Moroi do. Strigoi are undead and don't have access to magic anymore. Dhampirs simply never had it in the first place."

"So what do you control?"

Christian hesitated and looked at the others before snapping his fingers. A small flame appeared above his fingertips, flickering softly before dying as he waved his hand.

I stared in wonder, more intrigued than frightened this time. "Wow. That's...insane." I looked towards Adrian. "Can you do that too?"

"No. My magic is a bit more subtle I'm afraid. I control Spirit. It's not as popular as the four other elements: fire, water, earth, and air. There are only a handful of Spirit users that we know of. Lissa is one of them as well."

"So, what does Spirit entail?" I could get a vague idea of what the other elements could do, but Spirit was a bit harder to understand.

"Personally, I see auras and can visit people in their dreams if I wish. However, every user seems to have a unique specialty. Lissa can heal people. She's even brought someone back to life from the world of the dead."

I sat up, completely enthralled at what I was hearing. "Really? She brought someone back to life?"

"Actually, she brought  _you_  back."

I didn't have time to react before he continued.

"When you were fourteen, you were with her in a car accident. Her entire family perished, but somehow she saved you. You guys didn't know it at the time, but it created a bond. You both are now tied to each other in a way that is completely unique. You can even read her thoughts or get pulled completely into her mind if she is feeling a particularly strong emotion. I'm willing to bet that those strange daydreams you've had over the years were occurrences of that phenomenon."

I thought back to the daydreams that I remembered and could see how each one was tied to emotion. Some were sad, like the funeral. Others were happy, like watching Christian propose. I had seen anger, guilt, frustration, worry, elation. Could it really be that I was experiencing moments of her life, through her mind? They had always felt so real, as if I was truly there.

"I think you might be right," I admitted.

* * *

–  **DIMITRI –**

* * *

Rose seemed to be taking things extremely well considering the fact that we had turned her world upside down in more ways than one. Still, our conversation shifted from her directly and into more general realms. Adrian told her about life at Court. Christian told her about St. Vladimir's. Eddie spoke about guardian training. I stayed silent for the most part. The only thing I felt qualified to talk to her about was too personal to discuss in front of others.

Adrian asked about her new life and how she came to be in Las Vegas. I listened to how she spent the first few weeks working with doctors, councilors, and social workers as they tried to piece things together. She joked about how odd it was to choose things like her name and birthday. She told us about meeting Marie and how essential she had been to staying afloat those first couple of months. Not only had she taken her in, but she had also helped her find her first job as a waitress. It was Marie that had come down to Las Vegas, and Rose had followed. She told us how she discovered her unique fighting abilities when several men had started harassing her. She told us about discovering dance in Spokane and how she had accidentally fell into dancing at Wonderland.

After several hours of discussion, the night started to get late. The last thing that I wanted to do was let Rose out of my sight again, but she insisted that she had another shift at the club. The thought of her dancing again tonight sparked that jealous urge in me, but I bit it back knowing that she had spent the past several years taking care of herself and I had no right to interfere in that. At least not where her new life was concerned.

As the others gathered their things, I pulled Rose aside. There was one thing, despite how uncomfortable it may be, that we needed to discuss and with us leaving tomorrow, time was running out.

"Rose."

She turned, already acknowledging the name as her own.

"Thank you for talking to us. I know this has to be overwhelming."

She nodded. "The past 24 hours just seems...unreal." She looked exhausted, just out of sheer information overload.

I placed a hand on her shoulder, in a vain attempt to lend her some of my own strength.

"I know it's been hard Rose, but I want to let you know that I'm here for you. We all are," I quickly amended. "There's a whole group of people who care about you. They've missed you every day since we lost you. I know they'll be thrilled to hear you're okay."

She wasn't looking at me, but it seemed as though the thought brought a smile to her face.

"I..." how do I ask this? How do I handle it if she says no? "I'd like to ask you to come back with us."

I think it took a moment for her to register what I had just said. A second later, she snapped her head up to meet my eyes, questions filling hers.

"I know it's last minute, but our flight leaves tomorrow at noon. We'll be flying to Pennsylvania, to Court. I'd be happy to help you pack, we can pick you up, we'll take care of the flight, housing, everything. Just please, consider coming with us. At least for a little while." I was promising a lot, but I knew that our little group would move heaven and earth to get her back. I loved her, but I wasn't the only one who loved her.

The silence seemed to last forever.

"Let me talk to a few people, and I'll give you a call tomorrow morning." Then she just walked away.

Well, at least it wasn't a no.

* * *

**Author's Note**

* * *

What do you think guys? Is Rose going to go with them or is Dimitri and the gang gonna have to drag her kicking and screaming back to Court? And did you guys like that little Romitri moment?

For those of you who haven't had the chance to check it out yet,  _Shadow Kiss; Dimitri's Point of View_  has officially gone live. You can find that and the first two DPOV books on my profile. Thank you to everyone who has been such a loyal reader of mine. It is always SO good to see your reviews and listen to your thoughts on each chapter and each story.

Thank you for reading, reviewing, following, favoriting, and sharing. You guys are the BEST! See you next week!


	8. Chapter 8

**– DIMITRI –**

* * *

Rose fidgeted nervously in her seat as the plane engines roared to life. I watched her take out a small plastic container and shake a few white pills into her palm, downing them with a sip of water the moment we started taxiing on the runway. She swallowed and visibly relaxed as she did so, closing her eyes and settling into her seat more.

"What were those?" I knew it was none of my business, but curiosity got the best of me.

She peeked through one of the closed eyelids, seemingly unconcerned with my intrusive question. "Migraine medication."

"I didn't know you got headaches." I couldn't recall her ever having a headache back at the Academy, especially not one that required medication.

"Well, we couldn't be certain if it was something from my past, but doctors think it might have been a side effect of whatever altercation I was in before I woke up. They were pretty bad in the beginning, near constant and often bad enough that I would see shadow like shapes flying around, but now I can block them out for the most part. Plane rides are a different matter entirely though. As soon as we are up in the air, the pain becomes excruciating and I start seeing shadows in front of my eyes again."

I thought for a moment. I had been on two plane rides with her. Once was after picking her and Vasilisa up in Portland. The second was a week before she disappeared, when we traveled to the ski lodge. I didn't recall her suffering from pain or visions either time, and I certainly didn't remember her needing medication for them.

"If it helps any, I think that's a new issue. I don't remember you having any trouble with headaches before..."

"Thanks." She gave me a small smile. "It's still strange that someone else knows more about me than I do. Or at least parts of me..." She trailed off, lost in thought for a moment before turning to face me with renewed excitement and curiosity. "So, Christian told me how knew me. Eddie told me how he knew me. Even Adrian let me know how we had met..."

I could feel the tension building in my body and I waited for the inevitable.

"What's our story?"

It was a loaded question. I hesitated as I thought about what I should say. She didn't remember me. She didn't remember us. Part of that killed me, but the other part knew that it might be for the best. While her age and my position as her mentor were no longer barriers in our relationship, it was still unheard of for guardians to share a life together.

"I was your trainer at the Academy."

"A teacher? How did you end up with this crazy bunch then?"

"I wasn't so much a teacher as a mentor for you." I could hear Adrian snicker a bit before Eddie smacked his shoulder. I continued as if nothing had happened, "You and Lissa had missed a large portion of school and someone was needed to help tutor you in your combat classes. I volunteered. We worked a couple of extra hours together each day."

"So, I have you to thank for my awesome fighting skills. You must be pretty amazing if you taught me everything I knew." There was a bit of the teasing that I remembered so fondly, but I also heard her genuine compliment.

I looked away, unwilling to boast about my own ability.

"He is," Eddie chimed in from across the aisle. "He'll never admit it himself, but he's one of the best out there. Not that you weren't pretty talented on your own. Two years of missed school and you were still able to give me a run for my money when you got back. You were great before, but once he started mentoring you, you became unstoppable. You were able to do things other novices couldn't. You survived where others faltered." Eddie's voice caught almost unnoticeably as I knew his mind drifted to Mason. After a brief pause, his lips formed a tight grin. "He trained me too, after you left. I'm better for it."

She thought for a moment, as if trying to see her past. Eventually, her eyes drifted back to me. "Thank you. Really, I know I don't remember all the work you put in to teaching me, but the things you taught me somehow stuck when most of the other things didn't, and it's got me out of more than a few difficult situations."

She spoke with complete sincerity and in a tone that I didn't recognized. Well, at least not from her. When she and I had met, she had been forced to fend for herself in almost every aspect. Even with Lissa by her side, she wasn't able to really lean on her for emotional support. She hid many of her needs and worries as a form of protecting the Princess. She had just begun to trust and lean on me before everything hit the fan. It occurred to me that while she was practically alone the past few years, she had to survive and that meant leaning on others. Whether that meant the doctors, social workers, or her friend Marie, she wouldn't have made it on her own and she knew it.

Now she was showing that same gratitude towards me.

I wanted to tell her that it was no problem. I may have started training her because I had been strong-armed into it. It may have been initially done with Lissa's protection in mind, but as I began to fall for her, it was just as much about teaching her to keep herself safe as it was about keeping her charge safe. I wanted to tell her how much I felt like a failure when she was lost. And I don't just mean as her mentor and trainer, but as everything else I should have been to her too.

I wanted to tell her all this, but I didn't. I couldn't. So instead I stayed silent.

Thankfully, she quickly returned back to the happy, sarcastic, and social Rose that was so much more recognizable.

"So, it sounds like that extra training took quite a bit of time and energy. Couldn't have left much time for anything else." I nodded in agreement, knowing that her social life dropped dramatically, especially when we started training full force. However, her next question left me breathless.

"Did I have a boyfriend?"

Everyone was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. The question was directed towards Christian and Eddie, but they immediately looked towards me and noticing the change, so did she. After what felt like an hour, but was most likely only ten seconds, I answered her.

"No."

I stood from the seat and made my way to the back of the plane, searching for a small amount of privacy. As I walked away, I heard Adrian quip sarcastically.

"Not for a lack of trying."

I had only been in the galley for a moment before Eddie found me. "So...she didn't have a boyfriend? I know that was the  _official_  story, but I didn't think you'd tell her that."

"What was I supposed to tell her? 'Hey, yeah, not only was I your mentor, we were also fighting a completely inappropriate relationship that could have gotten you expelled, me fired and possibly jailed, and may have put our charge – your best friend – in mortal danger.' That would have gone over well."

"Dimitri, that was two years ago. Half of those excuses – and that is exactly what those are: excuses – aren't even relevant now. As for that last one, Lissa will understand. Hell, she'll just be thrilled to have Rose back, I doubt she'll even care."

"Then tell me this: what do I expect from her? What do I ask of her? She doesn't even  _remember_  me, she doesn't remember anything about me, anything about us. I can't just expect us to pick up where we left off." I took a deep breath, fighting off the frustration that was building within me and waiting to spill out. "She has too much to deal with right now just figuring who she is. I can't place this on her shoulders as well. I won't."

Eddie stared at me in defiance, but his glare softened before he spoke. "I guess I can understand where you are coming from, but I think you are doing you both a disservice by not talking to her about this. You're right, it is too much to expect from her to simply pick things up where you left them. That's unrealistic. Not telling her though, means you are keeping a fairly significant portion of who she was from her."

"I knew her less than six months. Lissa is significant, you are significant, Mason was significant..."

"But no one, save for Lissa, has had as big of an impact on her as you have. I've known Rose since we were both left on the Academy doorstep. I've been there for some of the biggest moments in her life. The biggest change that I have ever seen came when she started working with you. I'm not talking about training, Dimitri, I'm talking about her temperament and personality. You changed  _her._ "

"All of that is past tense though. What about now?"

"That's for you both to decide...together. If you want my two cents though, she's already turning to you, just like she used to. You saw her earlier. She was terrified, and she turned to you. She could have turned to me, she could have turned away entirely, but she turned to you. Her mind might have forgotten, but I think her heart still remembers you."

I watched her from the back of the plane. She laughed at something Adrian said, and gave Christian a light smack on the shoulder for whatever his reply was. Part of me still couldn't believe she was here. I was thrilled to know that she was alive. Sure, a part of me felt broken and perhaps even robbed when I learned that she didn't remember anything, but after Eddie's scolding I saw something else: a chance.

How many times have I lamented and regretted the fact that I didn't tell her how I felt or took the opportunity to show her how much she meant to me? How many times had I wished for another chance to see my Roza, to hold her? A chance to prove myself to her. To fall in love with her again. To let her fall in love with me. A chance to build this relationship the way that I wish I had been able to before. Could I really let this chance pass me by?

* * *

** ~ ROSE ~ **

* * *

"So, have you told Lissa yet?" Adrian asked Christian over the seat.

"Are you kidding? I've been trying to find a decent wedding present for weeks now. Bringing Rose back is going beat anything else on the planet!"

The comment did nothing to alleviate my nerves. There was this strange pressure to perform. The problem was that I had no clue what role I was expected to play. It was like being pushed onto the stage and hearing the music without knowing the dance routine. Everyone around me knew who I was supposed to be, but I still needed to figure it out.

"We'll, you brought _most_  of Rose back," Adrian facetiously corrected as the rest of us waited for clarification. "Her body is here, but we seemed to have lost her mind along the way."

Christian and I dissolved into a fit laughter.

"Yes, that's true," Christian quipped, "but at least we got the important part."

I reached over to smack Christian's shoulder, playfully grinning the entire time. He still winced.

I appreciated the way that Adrian and Christian, like Marie, could make light of my situation. They weren't making fun of me. They were making the best out of an insane situation. So many people treated me with kid gloves, as if I would break if I was reminded about what happened to me. I could almost get a sense of who I used to be, because they treated me as if I was still that girl.

Dimitri must have entered from the back of the plane again. I could sense him before I ever him. There was something practically overwhelming about his presence, at least for me. When I looked back, he was only about a foot away.

"We should be landing soon."

He sat down in the row behind me and I could hear the snap of his buckle. I shift to the window seat before all of us followed his lead as the plane started to descend.

Looking out the window, there was nothing but trees for what seemed to be miles. As the private jet peeked over a hill, I saw something in the distance. It wasn't a city by any means. It wasn't even a small town. It looked like a university of all things. The closer we got, the more I could make out. There were several large buildings, most looking fairly old and regal; right out of an Ivy League campus. One or two buildings stood out in a more modern style, but it was safe to say that this place had been here for ages.

We circled the area several times, gradually flying lower each time before I felt us making our final approach. The wheels hit the ground with a hard bounce, and after the initial shock, I noticed something odd. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt my usual headache totally abate at once. I was still nervous as all get out, but at least I wouldn't have a migraine to deal with.

It took several minutes for us to pull off the landing strip towards an area where the stair ramps were located. I could feel my heart rate increasing with each moment, knowing that as soon as I stepped off this plane, I would be in another world. I tried to console myself with the fact that I had apparently spent my entire childhood immersed in this vampiric culture, but it didn't offer much comfort when I couldn't remember a single day of that life. My stomach lurched nauseously as the plane came to a full stop.

While Eddie and Dimitri seemed more relaxed as soon as we step foot onto the plane, the tension melted off their shoulders completely once we made our landing. I assumed there must have been some extra security measures at this Court which allowed them to relax a little. Still, Eddie led the group out of the open doors.

Christian and Adrian followed right behind him and I could hear them talking to some people outside, but I was still glued to my seat. I knew that I would eventually meet other people, but I didn't expect to do so right at this moment. I closed my eyes and slowly started counting to ten.

At eight, I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Dimitri standing in the center aisle with my bag slung over his shoulder.

"Are you alright?" I could see the genuine concern in his face as he questioned me.

"Yeah, just a bit overwhelmed," I replied, forcing a smile for his benefit. "That kinda seems to be the theme of this whole experience, doesn't it?"

He offered a sympathetic look. "I don't know if it helps any, but I'll be right here anytime you need me. I promise."

I took the hand he offered and used it to pull myself up. I felt a sort of jolt when we touched, almost like a static shock but much more pleasant. "Thanks. It helps more than you know." I didn't want to drop his hand, but took my cue to let go when he shifted uncomfortably.

"Come on," he insisted, coughing out the words, "I think there's at least one person outside who has been waiting to see you for quite some time."

I could hear the sounds of voices outside on the tarmac. Some I recognized, some I didn't. One was completely female. I heard her squeal as soon as Christian stepped out of the door and after a quiet moment or two – where I assumed they were reacquainting themselves with each other's lips – I heard some playful banter start up.

"So...what did you bring me?" the female voice sounded almost musical, even while she flirted.

"Who said I was bringing you anything?" Christian teased back.

"Oh you know you did, and it better be good mister! I'm pretty sure you broke at least one rule."

I could hear Adrian snicker as he assured her, "This will make up for it, we promise."

"Take a look." I knew Christian was giving me as good a cue as any, but I was still cemented in place just inside the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Dimitri nodding his encouragement, as if he knew I was watching him. With that last bit of borrowed strength, I stepped into the fading light of day.

The blonde girl, Lissa, gasped as she recognized my face. The three men surrounding her looked proud of themselves. I stood on the top step like an idiot with no clue what to do next.

I walked slowly down the stairs and nearly made it to the bottom before Lissa seemed to find her voice again.

"Rose!" she cried, tears starting to spill on her cheeks, "Oh my God. Rose!" She ran quickly to me, crashing against me in a tight hug that I awkwardly returned. She was a step below me, but with the height difference, we were eye to eye.

I stumbled a little from the force of her embrace and I felt Dimitri immediately behind me to steady us so we didn't fall.

As Lissa pulled away from me, her questions ran together faster than I could understand. "Is that really you? Where have you been? Why didn't you call? Why didn't you come home?"

The anxiety I felt in the plane was making a reappearance and I took a step back to get some breathing room.

Eddie must have picked up on my discomfort because he soon pulled Lissa gently away from me. "Lissa, there's a whole lot to more to this than you realize. Give Rose some space and we'll all try to explain. Why don't we head back and we can sit and talk in peace?"

She glanced towards him with confusion, but the joy and excitement that she radiated was so tangible, it felt like you could touch it. Ashamed that I wasn't having the same reaction to seeing my supposed 'best friend', I turned to take my carry-on bag from Dimitri. I knew he was more than willing to carry it for me – he seemed like a gentlemanly-type guy – but the small bag seemed to offer me some illusion of protection from the craziness that was currently my life.

Lissa had her arm linked into Christian's as we followed her across what still appeared to be a large college campus, or perhaps a university town complete with shops, homes, and families.

It didn't take long before I started to notice people staring at me, and some went as far as to point me out and whisper to one another as we walked by. I didn't recognize a single face, but it was obvious that there were at least a few people who were making guesses as to who I was.

I clutched the bag tighter to my body, trying to keep my head held high as I walked but wanting nothing more than to crawl in a hole. I had been in awkward situations before, but nothing compared to what I was feeling right now at this moment.

Thankfully, someone seemed to notice my distress. Adrian looked back for a moment before smacking Dimitri on the shoulder. Dimitri scowled at him – something tells me that they had a very unique relationship that involved butting heads as much as understanding one another – and watched as Adrian nodded in my direction. Adrian moved to stand beside me, creating a small human shield to one side of me. Following his lead, Dimitri fell back to my other side, effectively keeping me from most of the spectators' view.

Our walk took about twenty minutes, taking us through some busier areas but around the older buildings that I assumed marked the center of this strange town. A long row of town houses came into view, and Christian led the way to one on the corner with a larger yard and a few more windows than the rest.

The home was much larger than you would expect for two people. It wasn't flashy, but it was large. Even though Christian held the key, the décor made it obvious that there was a girl living here. Fresh flowers sat on a table near the entry and Dimitri shrugged off his own leather coat before taking the rest of ours and hanging them in the closet. The comfortable nature that both he and Eddie had here made me think that they were frequent visitors.

"I'm gonna go put my things away. Dimitri, do you want me to drop your stuff off in your room?"

"Sure, thanks Eddie." Dimitri handed his bag over and I realized that I was wrong once again. This house had four occupants, not two.

Adrian plopped down on the couch in the front room, putting his feet up on the coffee table for only a second before Lissa smacked them away.

"Cut it out. You know better."

"Sure thing, Cousin." The smirk on his face made it clear that he had done it just to annoy her.

"Cousins?" I questioned.

"It doesn't actually signify a blood relation. It just means that we both are from Royal lines. I could address Christian the same way, but he's kinda like that strange stepchild we all try to forget exists."

Everyone laughed except Lissa, who was too busy looking at me with curiosity.

Once Eddie returned, I noticed that Dimitri had disappeared as well. He walked into the room again moments later with a pitcher of lemonade and a stack of glasses.

"I dismissed the other guardians," he said. "Was there any trouble while we were away?" He poured the first cup, offering it to Lissa and then doing the same for me before pouring his own. The other guys filled their own glasses.

"Of course not. You two worry too much. It was pretty boring here. I had one meeting with Tatiana and then spent the rest of my weekend watching Netflix and addressing thank you cards for after the wedding."

"Oh goodness, poor Guardian Andrews probably watched more episodes of Gossip Girl than he ever cared to." Adrian teased as if the show was pure torture to the male psyche.

"Yeah, but Abigail seemed to enjoy herself." Princess Vasilisa turned to me, "It will be so nice to have a girl in the house again. It's tiring to be so outnumbered."

An awkward silence fell heavily over us. Christian was the one brave enough to break it.

"Yeah. About that Liss, Rose is just visiting."

Her eyes shot up. "Visiting? What do you mean visiting? Rose, you aren't going to stay?"

"Ummm..." I really didn't know how to handle this.

Thankfully, Dimitri bailed me out. "Rose has dealt with quite a bit over the past few years. I think you need to hear the full story before anything else."

* * *

**Author's Note**

* * *

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVELY RAISSA! Thank you for every little thing you do for me. I sent her a special gift this afternoon, and if we're lucky, she'll be willing to share it with the rest of you guys here soon. Hint: it's over 11,000 words!

Otherwise, this week has been extremely busy. I haven't had the chance to respond to reviews on either of my stories as I typically would like, so if you haven't gotten a reply to your review or PM, I'm sorry. I promise, I will catch up in the next day or so.

I love this chapter for Eddie. I always wanted to give him a little bromance with Dimitri and this story was the perfect opportunity to do so. What do you think? Will Dimitri eventually tell Rose what's going on? Will he try to win her over again? What do you think Rose's reaction would be?

I'm so grateful for every single reader, review, favorite and follow that I get. Thank you so much for standing by me and my stories and I hope you all have a wonderful week!


	9. Chapter 9

**– DIMITRI –**

* * *

Christian, Adrian, Eddie and I explained most of the situation, with Rose only adding a word or two of correction when needed. Lissa just sat silently through the entire conversation. After the initial shock, her face became a blank slate and I was fairly certain that the Academy novices could learn a thing or two from her about hiding their emotions while on the clock.

"So," she finally said, "you don't remember anything?"

Rose kept her eyes down but shook her head. "Nothing. I didn't even know my own name. Until this weekend, I was going by Ivy Jones."

"But...we're bonded. How could you not remember? You were in my head. You must have felt my feelings. You probably even heard my thoughts." Lissa's voice was becoming a little more hysterical with every sentence, finally breaking free from the calm facade she had put up earlier. "You must remember me, at least a little."

Rose bit her lip and worried it between her teeth. I could tell she was trying to find a way to make Lissa understand without hurting her feelings. "I wish I could tell you something else, but I don't remember you at all." She gestured vaguely at the rest of us before continuing, "I at least recognized everyone else from our visions, but since I was seeing things through your eyes, I never saw you personally."

"This is ridiculous!" I was taken aback by Lissa's outrage. It wasn't as if Rose had a choice in the matter. "You've been missing for two years, Rose... _two years!_  And when you finally come home I find out that you remember everyone but me? I was your best friend. You are like a sister to me!"

"Lissa..." Christian tried to interject.

"No. It's not fair. She was supposed to be here, with me." Lissa's tears seemed to finally overwhelm her as she turned back towards the other girl, her opposite in nearly every way. "Why did you leave, Rose?"

I was about to speak up when Rose beat me to the punch. "I honestly don't know," she said calmly. "I promise you, I didn't choose this. I had to restart from nothing, not even an identity. I have pretty much one person who I can count on like family and I'm lucky that she was the one who stumbled upon me in the park. It's been difficult to get close to anyone because they just don't understand the situation and now I'm going on complete faith that I'm who you guys say I am because despite seeming pretty crazy, it feels like a better option than continuing to live with no past and barely any future."

We all simply stared. Her words cut through my chest. I was so thrilled that Rose had decided to come back that I never stopped to think about  _why_  she was coming back. It never occurred to me that she was trying to step into a life that she didn't remember because it seemed like it might just be a little easier than trying to create a life from scratch, with barely any friends or family to offer support.

"I'm sorry Rose...I know it's not your fault." Lissa took a deep breath and the blinked away the look of shame that had taken over just a moment ago. "It just...well...there are so many things I wish you could have been here for. I've missed you. I guess a part of me hoped that one day you would come back, and when you did everything would be back to normal. I know that isn't fair to you, but it still hurts."

Amazingly, Rose looked sympathetic. "I get it. If I could make everything normal, I would. But if it helps, I didn't miss everything." There was a small playful grin on her face as I wondered what she could be talking about. She turned to Eddie first.

"Eddie, I saw your graduation. Lissa was so proud of you for overcoming everything and graduating top in your class. So am I for that matter."

Eddie smiled, bowing his head a little before replying, "It's only because you weren't there. You could take me any day of the week. You probably still could."

She rolled her eyes then faced Adrian next. "Adrian, the painting you displayed at the art show last year..." I remembered the piece he did that showcased Rose in the red dress she had worn just hours before she had disappeared, "...it was beautiful. Thank you."

Adrian's trademark smirk softened a bit in sincerity.

"And you two," she eyed the couple sitting together on the love seat, "I've honestly seen more of Christian than I ever care to admit or witness again, but I do have to say that the little speech he gave when he proposed was one of the sweetest things I ever heard. Who knew he had it in him?"

Lissa's grin grew, either at the remembrance of the moment or the fact that Rose had been an unsuspecting witness to it.

"You see Lissa? I haven't missed everything. Even if I didn't know who you were at the time, I've always been there for your special moments."

I couldn't help but admire Rose. Yes, there were many things that had surprised me about her since I saw her on that stage, but the fact that she was still putting Lissa first wasn't one of them. Perhaps it was simply ingrained on her soul and even losing her memories couldn't change that. Rose had been through something that few people could relate to, but she still cared about others around her.

"However, if you excuse me, this crazy nocturnal schedule you have is already killing me and I think I'd really like to take a rest before I look around." She looked between me and Lissa. "Is that okay?"

"Of course," she answered, "We already have a place set up for you."

Vasilisa stood and started walking towards the stairs, leaving no choice but for us to follow her. I knew what was going to happen next, but Rose was completely unaware.

"Wait, I thought you had no clue I was coming."

"Oh, I didn't," Lissa assured. "This room has been waiting for you ever since we moved in here."

Lissa opened a door, one that hadn't been opened in longer than any of us cared to remember, and Rose's eyes grew wide.

"All your stuff is here from school. There's a few things still in boxes in the closet, but I tried to set it up a little for you. We were always hoping you'd come home Rose."

Roza stepped into the room as if she was stepping into a dream and I couldn't help but smile at her reaction. She looked at pictures on the wall, a few small trophies from old school competitions, and even a few of the knick knacks that were uniquely hers.

"The bedding is new. If you don't like it, I'm happy to get something else for you. I just had to make my best guess."

"It's amazing...this is all amazing." Rose seemed awestruck at everything around her, and as much as I wanted to continue to watch her discover everything there was to see, I knew she would probably want a little privacy.

I slipped her bag inside her door and began to shut it, but Lissa stopped me.

"Is that all you brought?" she asked.

Rose nodded, but didn't say anything else, too caught up looking at an old photo.

"We can pick up some clothing for you if you'd like. There's some old stuff in the closet, but I'm sure you wouldn't mind going shopping sometime."

Rose nodded again and this time I was all but certain that wasn't paying full attention to the conversation. She had never been quite the shopping enthusiast that Vasilisa was.

"We'll give you some time," I insisted. "Just let us know if you need anything. I don't believe we're going anywhere for the rest of the night."

Lissa nodded in agreement with me, but Rose was now completely absorbed in everything around her and I doubt she even heard the door shut as we left.

* * *

**~ ROSE ~**

* * *

It was like walking into some sort of museum, one dedicated to me. I could see little hints of my past that almost created a story if I strung the evidence together. The photos on the wall were the most telling. A majority of the pictures were of Lissa and I throughout the years. One caught my eye, and I cradled it as if it was some precious gem. Lissa was in pigtails and a much younger version of me stood proudly, smiling and bearing my cheesy grin minus two front teeth. We couldn't have been older than five or so, but you could tell how close we used to be just by looking at us in those pictures.

Many of the other pictures included a man, women, and boy who seemed to be a year or two older than Lissa and I. They all shared her same blonde hair and green eyes and after a moment, it occurred to me that this must have been her family. The same family which had died in the crash that had apparently killed me too. All pictures of them suddenly stopped when Lissa and I appeared to be young teenagers.

One picture in particular stood out to me, and it must have meant something special to Lissa too because rather than being hung on the wall like the others, it was framed on the bedside table. Lissa and I were in a friendly embrace at what must have been a costume party. We looked to be about sixteen, but many of the other faces in the picture appeared older. There were even a few telling red cups in the background and I briefly wondered if we had somehow stumbled upon a college frat party. She and I were dressed as fairies, Lissa in pink and me in purple. The amount of glitter on us was almost appalling, but it made me laugh. We looked so happy and carefree, and I longed to feel the way I must have in that photo. It looked like something Marie and I would have gotten ourselves into.

Remembering my friend who I had left behind, I quickly pulled out my phone to see one missed text message.

_Marie: Hey, hope you are doing alright._

It was sent a few hours ago, but I was sure that Marie would still be eager for a reply.

_Ivy: Yeah. I'm doing okay. It's been a long day._

_Marie: I can imagine. What do you think? Do they know who you are?_

_Ivy: I'm pretty sure they do. They have a ton of stuff here that is apparently mine. Clothing, awards, and more pictures that I could ever imagine. There's pictures from when I was a child. It's so weird._

_Marie: You'll have to show me one. I'd love to see little Ivy...or Rose...or whatever your name is._

I snapped a picture of me with the toothless grin and sent it to her.

_Ivy: I'm going by Rose for the time being. Rosemarie Hathaway. Rosemarie seems a bit stuffy for my taste, but I don't mind being called Rose._

_Marie: It doesn't matter what they call you sweetie, you'll always be Ivy to me. And yeah, that little girl is totally you. The eyes are just the same. Who's the blonde?_

I hadn't told Marie anything about the whole vampire thing. Mostly because I doubted she would believe it, but also because the boys had made it sound like something that was fairly hush hush. I had also left out the me-dying-bond thing or anything to do with magic and royalty and whatnot. I hated lying to Marie, but until I figured things out a little more, it seemed like the only logical choice. If she knew everything, I'm pretty sure she would have called the cops claiming that a group of delusional men were trying to kidnap me.

_Ivy: That's Vasilisa. She goes by Lissa. Apparently we grew up together like sisters. She's a little high maintenance, but she seems pretty nice. She kept all my stuff and even has had a room waiting for me since I went missing._

_Marie: That's nice of her. I wouldn't mind meeting her sometime. If someone is going to take my place as your best friend, I reserve the right to approve of them first._

_Ivy: lol. I doubt that could ever happen. You know too many of my secrets to let you go. I'm going to hit the sack. I'm exhausted from everything._

_Marie: I bet. Call me if you need anything. You know I'm always here for you. Always have been, always will be._

_Ivy: Thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you._

I put my phone on the bedside table, searching through my bag to find the charger. I was tempted to look through the walk in closet that I had peeked at earlier, but another yawn pushed through me and I knew that I was too tired to manage it. Instead, I laid down on the bed, pulling the covers over me and enjoying their silkiness. I was pretty sure that they were more expensive than anything I could have afforded back home.

I was only going to take a nap. Eddie had explained to me how they ran on a nocturnal schedule to benefit the Moroi who had issues with the sun. They didn't burst into flames or anything like the stories – though, I wonder if Christian could technically...he  _did_  control fire – but it did irritate their skin I guess. Since I worked nights, it wouldn't be that much of a change for me, but I would be altering my schedule for the next couple of weeks.

When I woke up a couple of hours later (a bit later than I meant to) it was the middle of the night, but I could hear from the noises outside that it was the most active time for this place. It was the middle of the day for them. My body protested the change a bit, but I forced myself out of bed anyways and made my way downstairs to where everyone else was.

"Hey Rose, how're you doing?" Christian was at the stove in the kitchen, cooking something that smelled like toast and melting cheese. I felt my stomach rumble in response and he let out a small laugh. "Hungry. Got it. Grilled cheese okay?"

"Sure, sounds great if you don't mind."

"Not a problem. I like deli mustard and sliced apples in mine. Does that sound good to you?"

"Yes to the mustard, no the the apples."

"Sure thing. There's some Dr. Pepper in the fridge if you want some," he flipped the sandwich in the pan then turned to me. "You still like that, right?"

I walked to the fridge, nodding my head to rid myself of the last threads of my nap. Caffeine sounded like a great idea right now. I popped the tab on the can and drank half of it in one gulp before moving to the table.

"So, where is everyone? It's quiet."

"Adrian went home to unpack his stuff. He'll be back later. Lissa had to drop off some paperwork for Queen Tatiana and Dimitri accompanied her. Eddie went to the Guardian Offices to check the schedules for him and Dimitri. All three should be home soon." Christian slid a plate in front of me with a perfectly toasted grilled cheese on top. I was fairly impressed. I usually ended up burning at least one side whenever I made them. He sat next to me with his own identical plate a second later.

"Thanks." I took a bite and it was like cheesy heaven in my mouth. "This is amazing. Who taught you to cook, Sparky?"

He looked more surprised than confused at my sudden nickname and I snapped my fingers the same way he had in Vegas. Unfortunately, mine didn't result in any flames. He chuckled with sudden understanding before taking a bite of his own sandwich and answering, see-food and all.

"I took culinary classes my last semester. It was supposed to be an easy A class, but turns out that I'm pretty good and actually enjoy it. I've been the house chef ever since."

"I need a house chef," I mumbled under my breath before swallowing my own bite. "I thought Dimitri and Eddie needed to stay with you guys all the time. Isn't that their job?" They had never let any of the Moroi out of their sight in Vegas and even when relaxing in the hotel room, they seemed to be glancing about for possible dangers.

"When we're outside the wards, yeah, they stick close by. Technically, they're both assigned to Lissa since she is the last of her line. Adrian has refused a guardian ever since I could remember and I was simply never offered one. I'm not exactly popular with society around here."

"Well, with at snarky attitude of yours, I can't exactly disagree with them," I joked playfully.

He raised a brow at me. " _I_  have the snarky attitude? Well excuse me Miss Sass." I chuckled before he continued. "Naw, my parents made a pretty horrid life choice when I was a kid and it's followed me around ever since."

"Wait, you are being blamed for your  _parents'_  choice? That's messed up. What'd they do?"

"They willingly turned – became Strigoi – for the immortality."

My sandwich dropped to the plate from my hands. "Shit."

"Yeah. That about sums it up. It doesn't happen often, so when it does, it's a big deal. I guess people are afraid that I might turn out like them."

Things were awkwardly silent for a while as we ate. I wanted to reassure him that I didn't think he'd do anything like his parents did, but I also felt like I just met the guy. What did my opinion matter?

"What are wards?" I blurted out.

"What?"

"Wards. You mentioned them earlier." Anything to change the subject and fill the silence.

"Oh. A magical barrier of sorts. Think of it as a Strigoi force field. It keeps them out."

"Really? Why aren't they everywhere then?" If there was a way to keep places safe from the evil version of vampires, it seems like it would be a good idea to place them around as many areas as you could.

"They have to be maintained fairly regularly. Plus, they can be broken. A few years back there was quite a few instances of humans working with Strigoi to break them." He looked a little distant before adding. "It was pretty bad. Quite a few people died."

"How do you keep people from breaking them?"

"Guardians take regular patrol shifts in Court or other places like the Academies. Dimitri and Eddie both put in time few days a week. It's part of their position while we're living here."

The front door opened, letting a quick draft into the house, as well as the sound of Lissa's chatter. I didn't understand what she was saying, but her conversation stopped suddenly as soon as she saw us.

"Oh! You're up! Good!"

Christian stood and walked back towards the stove. "Grilled Cheese, Liss?"

"Yes please." She flashed him a big smile in gratitude.

"Dimitri?"

Dimitri silently held up two fingers before using the same hand to snatch an apple from the fruit bowl.

"I'll start a second one for you, Rose." Christian started pulling slices of bread out of a bag and got to work.

I smiled, happy that he didn't even have to ask if I was still hungry. Apparently my larger than normal appetite was something that had carried over after my accident.

"So Rose. You'll never guess who we saw as we were walking," Lissa proclaimed.

"Considering everything, I can pretty much guarantee you're right on that."

Lissa looked confused for half a breath while both Christian and Dimitri looked amused. Christian even rolled his eyes at me.

"Oh, right." Lissa let out a little giggle but pressed on. "We saw your mom!"

"I have a mom?" Such a sentence shouldn't really sound so surprising, but to me, it was. I had pretty much given up hope of having a family when nobody seemed to be looking for me after the first few weeks.

"Mmhmm. She and your dad are going to be coming over for dinner tonight. Is that okay with you Christian?"

"No problem." He called back. "I'll make meatloaf. I'm assuming Adrian's coming over too?"

I'm guessing that Lissa answered him, but if she did, I didn't hear it. I was too caught up in the realization that I had both a mother and a father.

All at once, I could feel my heart rate rising. I was just as excited as I was terrified. Who knew what these people could tell me about myself. I mean, they had known me all my life. It made sense that out of everyone, my own parents would know me best. I was their daughter. I was somebody's daughter! Just like that, I started compiling a list of questions to ask about my childhood. I couldn't wait to meet them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, isn't Rose in for a surprise...
> 
> What did you guys think of Lissa taking the news? I think it would be a shock to anyone to learn of Rose's situation, but she would have taken it the hardest out of the gang. At least she made up for it with Rose's room, right? :)
> 
> Those childhood pictures got me thinking though: Do you have a favorite childhood photo? I have one from when I was about 5 and my younger brother is sitting on my back as we smile at the camera. The thing I remember most is that we were both wearing some awful Lion King outfits that practically screamed "I'm from the 90's." There's lots others that I can remember, but I think that one is a favorite because it really shows just how close me and my little brother were growing up.
> 
> Also...How do you like your grilled cheese sandwiches?
> 
> A big thank you to everyone who has read, shared, left a kudo, subscribed, and bookmarked this story! I love to get to know my readers so PLEASE feel free to leave a comment!


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

**~ Rose ~**

* * *

 

I couldn't make the butterflies in my stomach go away. Dimitri and I set the table in the large dining room, while Christian and Lissa finished up the last few things for dinner. Everyone was encouraging me to sit back and relax, but I couldn't. I needed something to distract me. Thankfully, Dimitri understood.

"It's going to be alright, you know." His words snapped me out of my absent minded fiddling with the place settings.

"Huh?"

"Seeing your parents again. It's going to be okay. They're excited to see you. They wanted to come as soon as we told Janine, but your mother was in the middle of a shift and your father was taking care of some business of his own." I could detect a bit of spite towards the end of his sentence.

"Do you and my parents not get along?"

"What makes you think that?" He asked, as if I didn't have any evidence of my suspicions.

"You mean besides the fact that you sounded like you wanted to push my father off a cliff?"

He stopped, taking a breath and letting it out in a sigh. "You always have been able to see right through me. I have great respect for your mother. She's one of the best in our profession and it's been an honor to learn from her. I have a fair bit of respect for your father too. He's good at what he does, I just don't always agree with it."

"Is he a bad person?" I was genuinely concerned now. Dimitri seemed to by the type to find the best in everyone, and even now he seemed to be trying to do so, but he was struggling.

"Not necessarily bad, but you could say that he knows how to be deceptive and manipulative when he wants to be."

"Those aren't exactly great traits, Dimitri."

"No, but they can be useful ones when the situation calls for it."

I heard the doorbell ring from the front room.

"I got it!" Eddie called.

I could hear the door open and my entire body felt like it was tensing up. When I heard Adrian's voice, I let out a breath that I didn't know I had been holding. The hand on my shoulder made me jump.

"You need to relax, Rose. Everything will be fine."

"You don't get it, Dimitri. I'm more nervous about this than anything else." I was pleading with him to understand.

"I can see that," he reassured me gently, "the question is: why?"

I took a deep breath. I didn't honestly know how to explain it, but I took the best shot I could. "Everything else is replaceable. My friends, my job, even my own name. The one thing that I couldn't replace over the past two years was my family. Could you imagine living life never knowing your family? There's nothing that can fill that position in your world. As far as I knew...I was an orphan. Now, I get to meet my mom and dad. I'm pretty much terrified."

The look in his eyes led me to believe that Dimitri was fighting internally with himself. He looked sympathetic, but his hand hesitated as he reached for me, finally cupping my cheek and brushing his thumb against the soft skin there.

"I never thought about it like that. My family means the world to me and even though I don't get to see them often, it would be horrible to never have known them. I'm sorry I was making light of it. Is there anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable?"

I thought for a moment before realizing how calm just the touch of his hand made me feel, and I knew what I wanted...no...needed. I didn't know how to ask for it though. So, without saying a word, I took a step closer and wrapped my arms around him in a hug. He returned it automatically , and for half a minute, I just allowed myself to borrow some of his strength.

When I finally pulled back, somewhat surprised that he hadn't pushed me away for hugging him without warning, he seemed stunned but not upset.

"Thanks," I whispered sheepishly. "I needed that."

"Anytime." His voice was soft too, and I couldn't help but wonder if his heart had raced like mine did when he had held me.

When the doorbell rang again a few minutes later, I felt myself tense up again, but not nearly as much as before. "You can do this," I whispered to myself. "Everything will be fine."

"Where is she?" a woman's voice sounded. It seemed fairly composed, but I could hear the slight urgency in it.

"Guardian Hathaway, Rose is just in the other room. Take a seat and I'll go get her."

Eddie appeared in the dining room moments later.

"Hey Rose, your parents are here to see you," his carefree grin faded when he saw my expression. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah..." I whispered breathlessly, my feet frozen in place.

"She'll be out in just a minute, Eddie. Thanks."

Eddie walked back out, shooting one more concerned glance before he disappeared.

"Come on, Rose. You can do this." Dimitri's hand on my back guided my first few steps until I was able to walk on my own.

As we entered the front room, the two new faces instantly caught my attention.

The woman, Janine as they had called her, was a few inches shorter than me with bright auburn curls. She hardly looked like me at all, except for her defined curves. Even those didn't exactly make her look feminine though. Simply standing there, stick straight and at attention, she seemed to be ready for battle. She was hardly the picture of maternal comfort that I had imagined.

The man next to her looked just a bit more like the person I see each morning in the mirror. Our hair was just the same thickness and color, and our eyes were a similar shade of brown. Even our skin tone seemed to be an exact copy. However, that's about where the likeness ended. He had an air about him that screamed 'cocky,' like he had power and he knew it. Just by how he was dressed, you could tell that he had money, regardless of how tacky I thought the clothing was. The gold hoop in his ear just completed the overall getup.

"Rosemarie," the woman spoke to me. "I'm so glad you are okay." I stared at her extended arm, realizing that she was offering me a...handshake? I disappeared off the face of the earth for two years and all she wanted was a handshake?

Not knowing what else to do, I took her hand and she gave it two firm pumps before sitting down. The man sat down too, and I realize that he seems to be watching me with a curious expression.

"Now," my apparent mother continued, "Princess Vasilisa has made me aware of your condition. You have no idea who I am, correct?" She seemed like she was conducting an interview more than anything else.

"No, ma'am." I don't know why, but I felt the need to match her formality. It seemed slightly less awkward than any other option. "I only know what they've told me about you. You both seem vaguely familiar from a vision or two, but that's about it." The only time I remember seeing them was at the funeral I had witnessed years ago. The woman in front of me seemed to be nothing like the same lady who had been crying back then.

"Well, I believe introductions are in order then. I'm Guardian Janine Hathaway. I'm your mother." She gestured to the man next to her, "And this is Ibrahim Mazur, your father."

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Kizim. I've waited a long time."

Between hearing his strange accent and being addressed as Kizim, it took me a moment to register exactly what he had said.

"What do you mean 'finally'? Have we not met before?"

"No, I'm sorry to say we have not. I wasn't around during your childhood."

"Oh..." I said dumbly. "What did you call me?"

"Kizim? It's Turkish. It means 'daughter'."

I nodded, more as an acknowledgment than anything else. Apparently, I'm part Turkish. "So, you two, I'm guessing you aren't married."

The man, Ibrahim, smiled but Janine scoffed. "Hardly," she said. "Your father and I met years ago. I've recently taken a position as his guardian."

All I could think about is how strange it was that my mother worked for my father and there seemed to be nothing more than a professional relationship between them. Though, by the way that I caught my father looking at her once, I thought that he wouldn't mind something a little more.

"If you don't mind me asking, why did we never meet before?" Even though I couldn't remember my childhood, I felt like I had at least some right to know why he wasn't present in it.

"I had business to attend to," He said cryptically and I'm reminded about how Dimitri was less than approving of whatever business my father partook in. "It wasn't suitable for a child to be exposed to. I received occasional updates and photos from your early years of school."

I nodded, then turned back to Janine. "So you took care of me all on your own?" I asked.

For just a second, she looked guilty, but just as quickly as I saw the emotion flash on her face, it was once again gone and replaced by a blank mask. "No. You spent your childhood at St. Vladimir's Academy once you turned four. My own job would have made it nearly impossible to raise you."

_What she means is, I would have made it nearly impossible to do her job,_ I realized resentfully. "So you just left me with the school. I didn't even spend time with you on breaks?"

"Our paths crossed a few times over the years and your teachers took it upon themselves to send me occasional progress reports, but other than that...no. I followed my charge."

I felt my stomach knotting, not with the nerves I had felt earlier, but in a sort of fury. I also felt the bitter sting of tears forming behind my eyes but I refused to cry in front of my parents. I felt an odd form of clarity as I realized that, memories or no, both of these people are practically strangers. Maybe I should have felt comforted by the fact that my situation didn't take a lifetime of happy family memories away from me...but I wasn't.

I stood, and everyone else stood up with me. I didn't think about it too much. Instead, I offered the same impersonal handshake to my mother that she had given me earlier. "Well, it was nice meeting you two. If you don't mind, I'm not feeling too well. I think I'm going to skip dinner tonight." I turned and started walking towards the stairs before anyone could answer.

"Rosemarie..." she chastised in a way that did nothing but add fuel to my already burning anger.

"Rose." I heard several others call out to me as I left, but I ignored them and slammed the door to the room. It was childish, I know, but it made me feel just a little bit better.

 

* * *

**– DIMITRI – **

* * *

 

I heard the thud of Rose's door slamming shut, and the rest of us looked around at each other, not knowing what to do next.

"Well," Abe suddenly broke the silence, "I think that went better than expected. All things considered, I mean."

Lissa, Christian, Adrian, and Eddie all looked toward him with a mixture of shock and disbelief.

"I can't believe she's acting like a child about this," Janine shook her head in the direction Rose disappeared. "She knows that I didn't have any other choice. I did the best I could for her. She knows what my position entails."

Suddenly, I can feel my own control being tested as my sympathy for Rose increased. "Actually, she doesn't. All she just learned was that she grew up without her parents in her life." I glanced towards Lissa who had a look of concern written plainly on her face. "Princess. May I?"

She understood my request to be excused and gave a silent nod.

As I walked up the stairs, I heard a mixture of crying and a couple of dull thuds from behind a closed door. I knocked a few times and the sounds stopped instantly. A few moments later, the door cracked open and I could see Rose peeking to see who was on the other side. Seeing nobody but me, she opened it a bit wider.

"Can I come in?" She didn't look at me when I asked, but nodded in response.

As she sat down on the rumpled bed sheets, I took a look at her room. The most obvious thing out of order was her desk chair which had been flipped on its side, but when I took a closer look, I could also see clothing strewn about and her pillows looked like they had recently been used as a make shift punching bag. She had been in the room less than 24 hours and while I knew that Rose wasn't the most organized person on the planet, she wasn't this messy. The destruction that I was looking at now was intentional and recent.

After righting the chair, I pulled it over so that I was sitting in front of her. I took one last look around and noticed that everything she threw was non-breakable. She was only creating temporary chaos it seemed.

"Sorry about the mess," she mumbled. "Sometimes, when I get too worked up, I just need an outlet. A physical one. I usually hit the gym but..."

I waited a moment to see if she would say anything else before speaking. "I can show you the gym here. I was kind of hoping to see what you could do anyways."

Her smile grew bright enough to make the sun envious. "Seriously?" she teased. "I've barely been back a day and you're already itching to start training me again?"

"If you'll allow it." I couldn't help but smile back.

She put her finger to her chin, as if she needed to think. "Okay, fine. I'll allow it." A small laugh rang out before she grew serious once more.

"I didn't mean to bail on everyone down there. I just...I just needed some time to think."

"Are you okay?" I was genuinely concerned. Rose's lack of parental relationships had always been a sore spot in the past, but her reaction today surprised me more than the public arguments she had with her mother years ago.

"Yeah. I'll be fine. Part of me really wants to go back down there and yell and scream..."

Yep, there's the Roza I know.

"...but what's the point? Arguments are only productive when you're fighting with someone who cares enough to fight back."

For someone who used to accuse me of 'zen lessons' on a regular basis, she seemed to be coming up with a few good ones herself.

"They care," I insisted. "They aren't very good about showing it, but they do care."

"Really? Then why did they cut me out of their lives? You saw them; they acted like I was a new business partner, not their daughter."

"I can't answer that for you. I  _can_  tell you that they were both distraught when you were lost." I was still somewhat haunted by the image of Janine crying and begging them not to call off the search in Spokane. "Your mother isn't one to show emotion, even in some of the most difficult situations. She  _cried_  when we thought you were gone forever. For her, that's huge. I think she's spent every day since then creating a wall around her heart so that it can't hurt her anymore. Perhaps it will take some time to break that wall down and believe you're really back."

Rose looked to the side, staring at nothing intently as she considered my words.

"As for your father," I continued, "I think he just doesn't know what to say to you at all. He was by your mother's side as soon as we all reached the Academy, and he hasn't left it since. She might be the guardian, but there's a part of me that wonders who is really protecting who in that relationship. It actually took me months to realize his connection to you. He once mentioned that he had always hoped to meet you, but was waiting until after your eighteenth birthday. As much as I don't care for his... business practices...I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt."

The silence that followed seemed to stretch on forever, but it didn't put me on edge. I could tell that she was deep in thought, and I gave her the time to think. When she finally did speak again, it wasn't what I was expecting.

"You really were a mentor for me, weren't you?"

"Yeah," I conceded, "but I'd like to think that I was more than that too."

Her eyes widened. "Oh?"

In a flash, I realized what I had just said and tried to spin my words in another direction. "I'd like to think that I was a friend to you too. You certainly were one to me." It wasn't the full truth about our relationship, but it was the truth none the less.

"Oh," she repeated. The brief look of disappointment was so quick, I'm sure that I had just imagined it.

"Is there anything else bothering you?"

She took a deep breath, and let it out in a sigh as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Yeah, but you'll probably think it's ridiculous."

I waited patiently for her to continue.

"I always imagined what having a family would be like. Growing up and doing things that normal families did. Simple things really, like opening presents on Christmas morning. Or maybe taking a family camping trip. Heck, I would have settled for family dinners, my mom sending me to my room for breaking curfew, and my dad intimidating my boyfriends."

I couldn't help but think that her father would  _always_  intimidate her boyfriends, and most likely intentionally. Her mother would offer a fair bit of intimidation too, I'm sure.

"It was a comfort to imagine these things," she looked almost embarrassed by what she was saying to me. "Realizing that they were never there, well that hurts. I guess a part of me just felt better thinking that there was someone out there who missed me. Someone who wanted me and was maybe even looking for me. If I pretended that someone loved me, then I felt a little less alone."

My heart broke for her. All I wanted to do was tell her that there  _was_  someone who had missed her. There  _was_  someone who loved her. My world was never the same without her in it. Beyond me, there was Lissa, Christian, Eddie and Adrian. All of them missed her and loved her in their own way. Even her parents loved her and missed her, regardless how bad they were at showing it.

"Rose, you were missed. You  _are_  loved. I know this didn't go as you had expected, as you hoped, and I'm sorry for that. But please don't give up just because your parents aren't what you imagined they would be."

"You're right, but it's not just them, Dimitri. It's...everything. All I wanted to be was  _normal._  It's hard learning that somehow my real life, the one that I was born into, is somehow even more crazy than the one that I had been trying to build for myself."

I didn't have anything to say to that, and I wasn't sure there  _was_  anything that I could say to make her feel better about the situation. I couldn't even imagine what she was going through right now. All things considered, she was dealing with it pretty well. Upending a chair and tossing some clothing around the room really weren't that bad in the grand scheme of things.

"What do you say we go get some dinner? Christian actually makes a pretty good meatloaf, believe it or not."

She forced a smile, intentionally pushing past the difficulties she was trying to face and focusing on something a little lighter. "Yeah, he's quite the little house wife, isn't he?"

The rest of the evening ran smoother, even if there were a fair share of tense and awkward moments. Rose asked questions about Janine's career, Janine and Abe asked how Rose survived the past two years. Neither were happy to hear about her dancing in Vegas, but Rose shot down their disapproval, reminding them that she did what she needed to do, she was good at what she did, and she wasn't ashamed of it. She made any argument about that situation pretty much mute. By the end of the night, the trio was on good terms. Actually, their relationship was arguably better than before Rose's disappearance, though that wasn't saying much.

As soon as the door closed behind her parents, Rose excused herself for the night and we let her leave without argument. It was clear to see she was emotionally exhausted. We all were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I detect a hint of Romitri? I promise there is more to come, slowly but surely. You guys like slow burn, right? And poor Rose. That family reunion REALLY didn't go too well, did it? How do you feel about Dimitri getting defensive about Rose and being her rock during the storm?
> 
> Just FYI, these next few weeks are going to be crazy for me. I should be able to post without issues since I've written most of the story, but if I am late or (heaven forbid) miss my typical posting date, please don't fret. I'm probably trying to find a wifi signal in the middle of nowhere.
> 
> Thanks for reading! You guys are absolutely amazing and you really keep me going through the hard days. A big thank you to my ever-supportive beta, Raissa. She is amazing and pushes me and my stories to become more than I ever could make them on my own.
> 
> Please take the time to comment, subscribe, and bookmark if you love this story! I enjoy hearing from you and I do try to respond to every comment that I receive. Have a great week :)


	11. Chapter 11

**~ ROSE ~**

* * *

The next morning, I realized that my half-baked plan to just stay in the house during this entire trip was simply unfeasible. For one thing, it wouldn't get me very far in learning who I was before my accident, but more importantly, Lissa simply wasn't going to allow it.

I had barely started in on my breakfast when she began going over the plan for the day. There were a few areas that didn't concern me, but one in particular caught my attention.

"...and then we need to get you fitted for your bridesmaid dress..."

I nearly spit my mouthful of Cheerios all over the table. "What?"

"You're bridesmaid dress. There's not a ton of time before the wedding and we need to do some quick alterations."

"Wait a second. You want me as your bridesmaid?" I hardly knew her, and now she wanted me to stand by her at the altar?

"Of course I do Rose. I always wanted you to be up there with me. We were simply going to leave the spot open before, because honestly...nobody else could have filled in for you. Mia is the second bridesmaid. Dimitri and Eddie will be standing with Christian as groomsmen. I've asked Adrian to give me away."

"Oh." I could see how much this meant to her, and despite how awkward it made me feel, I knew I couldn't say no. It didn't matter that it felt like I had just met her, I had been her best friend for over 15 years. She looked like a puppy waiting for my approval, and I wouldn't let her down. "Sounds great, Lissa." I tried to smile enthusiastically, and while I was never much of an actress, I must have done well enough to convince her.

Her grin spread across his face, and I could see a peek of her fangs. It caused a slight shudder in me. It didn't matter how often I was reassured that Moroi weren't like the vampires of my nightmares, I didn't know if I'd ever be able to fully accept it.

"Let me just finish getting ready and then we can hit the feeders before going to the dress fitting."

"Feeders?" I hadn't heard the term before, but it didn't take a genius to understand what she was talking about.

"Yeah. I meant go yesterday, but with everything else..." She looked apologetic.

"You don't have to go into the feed room." The sound of a third voice – a deep, accented third voice – came in from the hallway. I turned to see Dimitri, his hair slightly damp from a recent shower, coming from the hallway where both his and Eddie's rooms were. I couldn't say that it was a bad sight by any means.

I was grateful that he could understand my hidden fear without me having to say it. I just nodded, and Lissa left to get her finishing touches put together.

"Is everything alright?"

Dang. That man was quiet. I hadn't even realized that Dimitri had come right behind me until he asked that. "Yeah. I'm fine. I'd really like to not watch her...feed, though."

"It won't be necessary today."

I pretended not to hear the implication that eventually, it would happen.

"Don't worry about it too much, Rose. I know it must seem weird, but trust me when I say that eventually, it will seem normal. Well, perhaps not normal, but at least it won't seem unusual."

Unusual didn't even begin to cover it though. It still seemed monstrous to me. Not that I thought of Christian, Adrian, and Vasilisa as monsters per say – they were actually were very kind – but the thought of drinking blood, human blood, was something out of a horror movie.

I heard Lissa's light footsteps coming down the stairs so I quickly finished the last couple spoonfuls of cereal and brought the rim of the bowl to my lips to down the milk before dropping the empty dish in the sink.

Following Dimitri and Lissa towards the center of the Court, I was amazed at just how big this place was. There was an entire vampiric city in the middle of nowhere, right under the nose of the human world. It still seemed totally unreal.

The building we finally entered looked old and worn on the outside, but the moment we stepped inside we were surrounded by something that looked like it would fit into a high end hotel. There seemed to be many different services offered, from a cafeteria to a small market. The place we sought though looked almost like a spa, at least at first glance. There was a young woman sitting behind a large desk, soft music playing in the background, and lots of blue and green decorations. People came in and out of a large doorway when called, similar to a doctor's office. Lissa checked in at the counter before coming to sit beside us. Less than a minute or so later later, she was called back.

Dimitri and I stayed in the lobby, and it didn't take me long to notice that most of the people waiting were guardians. They had more color in their complexion and more muscle definition than the frailer Moroi. After about five minutes of waiting, my impatience got the better of me and I began pacing the room. Dimitri watched me walk back and forth, looking between me and his worn novel, until I noticed that I could see into the back area from one particular spot.

There were several lounge chairs with people in them – humans, I realized – and partitions dividing them to offer a small amount of privacy. People dressed like nurses in scrubs walked between the different stalls, tending to the people there. Had this been the extent of the image, I would have guessed that this was more like a blood donation center than anything else.

I guess in a way, I wasn't wrong. Those who needed the donated blood were just being a bit more direct in the way they were taking it. Men and women – Moroi this time – would take their place near one of the feeders and drink from them.

I watched in fascination as the man bit down on the shoulder of a young red head and her head fell back as if she was in ecstasy. I felt like I should turn away, as if I was intruding on a private moment. But I couldn't. I just stared. Perhaps even more disturbing was the fact that it stirred...feelings in me. Longings.

The longing wasn't sexual, but it was still deep and pervasive. My hand went to my neck, caressing the same spot I knew that girl was being drained from. My heart rate increased and my breath felt short and hot. I suddenly desperately wanted to feel exactly what that girl was feeling. It was more than a want...it was almost a need.

I jumped when a hand brushed mine.

"Rose?"

Dimitri was beside me, with a look of concern. I cleared my throat and tried to compose myself.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

He looked ready to say something else but thankfully Lissa walked out of the back room at that moment.

"Thanks guys, sorry I took so long." She snatched a mint from a small crystal dish on the receptionist's desk, unwrapping it quickly and popping into her mouth.

"Nonsense" Dimitri dismissed her apology, almost automatically, but kept his focus on me as if still trying to get a read on my mental well-being.

"Where to next..." I grinned, remembering something that Adrian had done earlier to tease her, "...your Highness?" I capped off my playful banter with a dramatic curtsy and the combination of childish taunting and fake smiling seemed to reassure Dimitri that all was well with me.

The Princess Vasilisa, however, to a more physical reaction to my mocking. She slapped me on the shoulder, barely hard enough to be called a 'slap' and laughed with me. "If you  _ever_  call me that again, I'll have your head. I can do that too...Royal rules and all."

I had no clue if she could or not, but I knew that her fake threat was no more malicious than her smack had been earlier.

"The dress shop should be open now. We'll be a little early for our appointment, but I don't think I can get any of the other errands done before we need to be there."

The dress shop wasn't far away. It was a small boutique less than three blocks away filled with various colors of ivory, cream, and peach. Oh, and frills...so many frills. Walking in kind of gave me the feeling of stepping into an elaborately frosted cupcake. Its overt sweetness gave me a vaguely sick feeling.

Dimitri stopped before stepping over the threshold, as if the feminine air to the place was a physical barrier that was impossible for him to pass.

"Princess, I have a few items of business that I need to get done today, so if you plan on being here for the next few hours, would it be alright if I stepped away for a while?"

It was odd to see both Dimitri and Vasilisa fall into their formal roles around others.  _Wait...the next few hours!?_

"That will be fine Guardian Belikov. I'll text you when we are finished here." She already seemed to be getting distracted by the wares in the boutique, so Dimitri offered me a small nod and a sympathetic grimace before turning to walk away.

When I joined Lissa again, she was already talking to the saleswoman about the dresses. She stepped into the back room a moment later.

"Mia will be joining us later, but I figured since your dress will need the most alterations to be prepared for next week, we'd start with you."

I nodded absentmindedly as Lissa guided me to a small dressing area where a dusky pink dress was hanging on a hook. I wasn't thrilled with wearing pink. I had nothing against girly girls, but that simply wasn't me. I preferred something a bit more edgy. Still, the cut was simple and classic with a fitted bodice and a long flowing skirt. There wasn't much adornment, but the material gathered and crisscrossed across the torso, and I could tell it would highlight any figure wearing it without being to showy.

I was able to slip the dress on easily and I was surprised that the color, despite being something I wouldn't personally pick for myself, was actually fairly flattering. It made me look...innocent. That was one adjective that I'd never think to associate with myself, but I kind of liked it. I gave a small swish in front of the small mirror before stepping out to where Lissa and the seamstress were waiting.

Lissa looked incredibly pleased with herself as I stepped up onto the platform and looked into the triple mirror. The seamstress started adjusting the dress, fitting the waist a little snugger and adjusting hemline so that it just grazed the floor rather than pooling at my feet.

"I know you didn't get much input on the bridesmaid dresses, but you look great, Rose."

"Thanks." I knew I should have probably said more, but I couldn't think of anything at the moment. I looked so unlike myself that it was nearly laughable, and yet I started to wonder if maybe  _this_  was part of the person I was before. Maybe I was used to dressing up in expensive dresses the color of frosting. "So did we do this sort of thing often?"

"Get fitted for bridesmaid dresses?" She smiled, obviously joking around with me. I rolled my eyes, giving a bit of snarkiness back to the stranger I was staring at in the mirror. "No. We dressed up for parties and dances occasionally, but they weren't typically this formal and you always left the pastels to me. You preferred to rock red or black."

Yep. There I was. It was nice to know that some things never change. As I looked at myself in the mirror though, smoothing the gauzy pink material at my hips, I couldn't help but smile at my image. Sweet and pure weren't quite my style, but I wouldn't mind looking more refined or sophisticated. Mature. Beautiful. Yeah, beautiful. I've been called 'sexy' and 'hot' more times than I could count, but I don't think anyone has ever said I was beautiful.

"Done." The seamstress stood from pinning the hemline. "Thankfully, it won't need too much in the way of alterations. I should be able to get it done within three days. Is that quick enough, Princess?"

For a moment, I was wondering why she was addressing me as if I was royalty. Putting on a pretty dress hardly made me a princess.

"That's should be fine, Leona." Lissa replied.

_'Oh, right,'_ I thought,  _'Princess Vasilisa.'_  Lissa hardly acted like a princess when she was in the privacy of her home and the company of friends, it was easy to forget.

"There's still time before the wedding, so that shouldn't be an issue. As long as it is done a few days before then so we can double check the fit, I don't see a problem. I was actually hoping you might be able to do another alteration for us that would need to be done by Friday."

The seamstress, apparently named Leona, thought for a moment before nodding. "If you don't need this one quite yet, then I think I can do that. Do you have the dress already?"

"No. That's the other part. We need to find a dress for Rose that's suitable for the Lazars' Charity Ball."

Leona's eyes widened as she glanced over at me quickly. I couldn't quite understand why she seemed shocked, but she hid the expression before anyone could comment on it.

If anyone had the right to be shocked, it was me. I had no clue what Lissa was talking about. "What Charity Ball?"

"Oh, the Lazars have an annual charity ball to celebrate their work with retrieving and restoring Moroi cultural artifacts and historical sites. I've attended for the past few years, but this year is supposed to be particularly special. I guess Adrian will even be noted for some of the assistance he did with recreating the art of Igor Durov to be displayed alongside the original works at the museum here. Many were damaged during the October Revolution, and this way, people can understand their original splendor.

"All of us are going to be there. Dimitri and Eddie will be acting as guardians, but the rest of us will be in attendance too. I figured you would want to join us."

Once again, I was a bit perturbed by the fact that Lissa would simply assume what I would want and make plans for me accordingly, but I was quickly gathering that this wasn't out of the ordinary for our relationship. Part of me wanted to protest, but what was the point? Would I really rather be sitting alone in Lissa's townhouse while everyone else was enjoying that night? Plus, I had heard about Adrian's talent with art, but had yet to see it. He was surprisingly modest about the fact, a complete contrast to his less than humble attitude in apparently every other aspect of his life.

"That sounds like fun, Lissa. I'd love to go."

Leona walked around me, looking my body up and down in my pink bridesmaid dress. She considered me silently, with her fingers on her chin except for the few times that she pulled out her measuring tape and double checked my measurements. After a full five minutes, she finally spoke.

"I don't have a ton of items made for someone with her...curves." The way she said it was almost as if she meant to say something else. While I was decently built with an hourglass figure, I wasn't incredibly curvaceous to the point where finding a dress should be difficult. It took me a moment to realize that one of the big differences between me and people like Lissa was that I was blessed with a much fuller cup size and hips to match. It wasn't that Leona was short on styles for curvy women, she was short on styles for dhampir women. I guess women of my race weren't typically shopping for high end dresses in these parts.

"Do you have anything? Maybe something that can be altered to suit her?"

"I might have a few options. Please give me a moment." The seamstress walked out of the room, and instead of going towards the display racks of clothing, she went into the back room. She came out a few minutes later with two dresses, one in black silk, and the other in a golden lace.

"These are the only two that I think would work for your particular body type. If we had more time, I'd try to make something custom for you, but both of these should highlight your best features without needing too many alterations."

Before I could take a good look at both dresses, Lissa picked up the black gown and handed it to me. "Do you think you'll need help?"

I felt the cool, smooth fabric against my skin. "No, I should be fine. Where should I leave the other dress?"

"Just put it back on the hanger and leave it in the dressing room. I'll pick up later. Try your best to be careful of the pins."

I nodded, stepping off the platform and returning to the small dressing room. The pink bridesmaid dress was much harder to get off without loosening any of her alterations, but I made it work and only ended up pricking myself twice. Once that was over, I slipped on the new dress.

It was wonderful. I felt comfortable in the black, even though the material was finer than anything I had ever worn. It was an incredibly basic cut: strapless, floor length, with a slit up the left side that stopped about two inches above my knee. All I would need would be some simple jewelry and I would be right at home at the party. Sure, I wouldn't stand out too much, but that wasn't a bad thing.

Walking out for the second time, Lissa beamed. "That dress is so you, it isn't even funny. I knew it would be the one."

I looked at myself in the mirror. She was right, if I was going on instinct, this is the dress I would have chosen between the two. Like Lissa has said, it was me. But as I studied myself, I realized that I was tired of people telling me who I was. I hardly knew who I was, how could anyone else?

I spoke before I thought. "I'd like to try the other one, if that's okay."

Leona nodded, but Lissa furrowed her brows. "Are you sure? This one seems pretty spot on."

As I took the gold dress from Leona, I smiled. "I'm sure."

I didn't dare to look at Lissa's reaction when I stepped out of the dressing room for a third and final time. I did hear her gasp. The moment I saw myself in the mirror, I understood why.

The golden hue of the lace was just a few shades off of my natural skin tone, but it almost made me glow. The dress hugged my body perfectly, looking like it made specifically for me and wouldn't need much in the way of alterations. It grazed each curve, flaring out into a small train behind me. The gown looked fairly modest, with cap sleeves and no slit up the skirt like the last one, but where it did show off my feminine attributes, it did so with a certain class about it. The sweetheart neckline framed my face yet showed just the right amount of cleavage. I turned just a little so I could see my back, and it was pretty visible without being showy. A large oval, starting at the small of my back and reaching up towards my shoulder blades, was cut out. The lace trim made it look almost like an ornate picture frame. Tying it all together was a subtly embellished satin ribbon at my waist, the bow resting just above my rear.

The entire time I was admiring the dress in the mirror, Lissa had been silent. The person who broke the silence was a new voice that I didn't recognize.

"Rose!"

I turned towards the entrance of the store, seeing a petite blonde with ringlet curls. This had to be Mia, Lissa's other bridesmaid.

"You...you're alive! And stunning! But oh my God you're alive!" The girl ran to me, bouncing up the platform to wrap me in a fierce hug. "I never thought I'd see you again. I'm so sorry. I never should have left you. I'm so sorry, Rose."

I embraced her gently, looking over towards Lissa for some backup against this strange woman clinging to me.

"Mia, remember what I told you about on the phone?"

Mia pulled back from me, looking at Lissa with a bit of confusion before springing back. "Oh! Right! You don't remember me. I'm Mia."

I laughed at her polite introduction that followed her near assault. "Nice to re-meet you Mia."

She smiled before looking me up and down in my dress. "You look...amazing. Seriously, this dress is incredible."

"Thanks" I replied. "I'm going to wear it to the event this weekend."

"You sure, Rose? Not the black?" Lissa looked shocked at my choice, but I felt confident.

"Nope," I assured her, looking at my reflection and the girl who seemed somewhat unrecognizable but oh so appealing. "Not the black."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have a confession to make. I HATE when fic authors got into intense detail about every outfit their characters wear, especially when the narrator is someone who wouldn't have any idea about clothing (Sorry, Dimitri probably couldn't tell silk from satin). I personally believe that unless the outfit is particularly notable to the narrator or has some detail that will be important to the plot, it really isn't necessary. So...why then did I write a chapter that is all about Rose's experience dress shopping? Because I think the three dresses represent quite a bit to Rose and her situation.
> 
> First, the Pink Bridesmaid Dress. This is obviously something that is uncomfortable to Rose, even though she can wear it well. It doesn't quite feel like her. It's something that she had no input in and something that someone else (in this case, Lissa) picked out for her. It needs quite a few alterations and she's occasionally pricked as she tries to maneuver in it.
> 
> Second, the Black Dress. We all know Rose has a pretty good history with Little Black Dresses. Perhaps you're thinking that I should have had her choose that one since it seems like the natural choice for her. Honestly, I thought about it too. Imagine Dimitri seeing Rose in that black dress, a grown up version of the memories that have haunted him for years. It would be pretty intense...but I don't know if it would have been exactly what the story or Rose needed.
> 
> Which brings us to the third Golden Lace Dress. It has a bit of sex appeal, but it does so in a much more subtle way, allowing Rose to shine. It's elegant and still somewhat comfortable. Most importantly, it excites Rose. It's not something she would have typically gravitated towards but she likes it. It's not what others expect from her. Choosing this dress makes her feel in control and somewhat powerful. It feels like a new beginning. (if you're interested in seeing what I had in mind for this dress, take a look at my Tumblr post for this chapter with the tag #rose's dress)
> 
> And there you have it; why I broke my self imposed rule about not going into detail about what people are wearing. Let it never be said that I don't live on the edge :)
> 
> Also, out of curiosity, which dress would you have personally chosen? Sweet and pretty pink, sexy and classic black, or elegant and unexpected gold?
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads, shares, reviews, favorites, follows! You make writing so much fun, even when times are tough. I can't express how much your love and support means to me!


	12. Chapter 12

–  **DIMITRI –**

* * *

I made my way back to the dress shop nearly three hours later, hoping that the girls were done with their shopping and alterations. Lissa tended to go overboard every time there was a clothing store involved, and I relished the opportunity to bow this one out. While it wasn't a life threatening hobby for the Princess, I could tell that Rose was surprised at how devoted Lissa could be to her craft. The look she had given me right before I had left made it clear that she would have rather gone with me. I wouldn't have minded one bit.

I wasn't surprised that Lissa had asked Rose to be her bridesmaid. I had heard her lament more than once over the past few months that Rose wouldn't be there at her wedding and that it could never be complete because of that fact. Nobody could really fault her for that thought, especially since we all agreed with her. It wasn't just the wedding that was incomplete, it was our lives. Rose had a significant impact on every one of our lives – some more than others – but her absence was felt amongst us all.

No, I wasn't surprised that Lissa had asked Rose to be her bridesmaid, but I was a little surprised that she had agreed so readily. Perhaps I shouldn't have been though. Rose had always been selfless; putting others' needs, comforts, and desires behind her own. This fact was especially true when it came to Vasilisa. She would do nearly anything for her friend and bond mate, no matter the distress it caused her.

When I entered the shop, Mia was just stepping off the center platform in her pink dress. I had to wonder how Rose was handling that. Sure, Rose would have gone to the ends of the earth for Lissa, but she could have very well drawn the line at wearing a pink dress.

"Oh! Dimitri! I was just about to text you. We're just finishing up and we can head home." Lissa seemed just as energetic as when I had left, but Rose seemed a little worn down behind her. She sat on a bench apart from everyone else, her eyes on her phone and her fingers working quickly over the screen.

I went and sat beside her. "How are you doing?"

Rose jumped slightly, slipping her phone back into her pocket and turning her focus on me. "I'm fine. I never knew that something like this could be so tiring though. I've done day long rehearsal sessions that required less energy."

"I know what you mean" I confided quietly. "I can run a marathon easier than I can endure a shopping trip under Lissa. Who were you texting?" I wasn't trying to be rude or nosy, but her new life was still so unknown to me that I was constantly curious as to how she had lived in the two years that she had been missing.

"Marie. She's on break at work and wanted to check in on me. I was telling her about the upcoming wedding and how I'm actually taking part in it. She's demanding proof."

I loved the lighthearted tone in her voice when she spoke of her friend. It was so similar to how she had once spoken about Lissa, about Mason even. I knew that even though they hadn't known each other long, Marie was engrained in Rose's life and probably always would be. I was grateful that she had found a friend and confidant, but small part of me was worried whether or not those bonds could survive the difficulty of hiding such a large part of this world from Marie. I had been clear that she couldn't talk about the Moroi world, and why, and she agreed saying that she doubted anyone would believe her anyway, but there were reasons why most in our world didn't have close relationships with those outside it. I could only hope that she would be the exception to the rule.

After a few more minutes, our group was ready to return home. Mia joined out little party, claiming that she had a few more hours before her shift at the restaurant she worked at. Lissa assured us that Christian already had lunch preparations underway and it was hard to miss the sudden spring in Rose's step at Lissa's promise.

We were walking through one of the larger courtyards that separated the main business area of Court from our area of residential housing. At midday, it was fairly busy. It was prime time for much of the working population to be on their lunch breaks, and those who weren't on the clock today were hustling out and about with their own errands.

I could see some people focusing on us, and it wasn't entirely unusual. Vasilisa tended to garner some notice wherever she went. People were eager to point out the last Dragomir. Had Christian and Adrian been with us, I could practically guarantee more hidden looks. Or could I? After a moment or two, I began to see that it wasn't Lissa that they were staring at, but Rose.

Rose's disappearance had made news in the Moroi culture, especially since it surrounded the events of Mason's death and the Strigoi attacks. As horrid as everything had been, the search for Rose and the others who had disappeared from the lodge had led to discovering a network of Strigoi with plans to enact more attacks, including one that had been planned for St. Vladimir's Academy less than three months later. We had been able to capture many of those who had been leading the group and successfully derailed their plans.

Everything surrounding Rose's disappearance had put her face in the news more than once, and it wasn't entirely strange that some would recognize her. Glancing at her, I could see that she also noticed the stares but was actively trying to ignore the attention being given to her. Her eyes were firmly on the ground before her, and she never even saw the small cluster of girls heading her way.

The leader of the trio, a vaguely familiar dark haired young Moroi woman who I couldn't quite place, bumped against Rose's shoulder. I could hear a small apology from Rose, but I had no doubt that it wasn't an accident. Her next words confirmed it.

"Blood whore."

My eyes widened in surprise. I had no idea why this girl was seemingly offended by Rose's mere presence, but I was frozen by this stranger's insult.

Rose wasn't quite as immobilized. "Excuse me?"

The rest of our group stared at the drama unfolding right in front of our eyes in a breathless silence. The vulgar woman shifted her weight so that her hand was on her hip and eyed Rose as if she was nothing more than a pile of dirt that dared to be in her path.

"Can't see where you're going _and_  you can't hear?"

Lissa's voice broke through in an indignant shriek. "Camille!"

I suddenly remembered where I had seen this young woman before. She had been an old classmate of Rose's, and one who had been a large part of spreading the blood whore rumors that had circulated shortly after I had started training Rose. Mia had been the one to start the rumors, long ago when she had been a little more than an immature and insecure teenager, but it had been Camille's influence that had really allowed those rumors to take hold among the student population.

Rose had been strong then, and she looked like she would stand strong now. She bit her lip, probably holding back a slew of insults that were at the tip of her tongue. Instead of yelling, she brushed her hair behind her ear and spoke in a disturbingly calm voice. "No, I heard you just fine. I was just giving you a chance to rethink what you said."

Camille gave a little huff.

"Come on Rose, ignore her. Let's just go." Mia tried to encourage Rose to step back, but I could see that Camille wasn't going to let Rose walk away so easily.

"Yeah, run away little blood whore, just like last time."

I could see Rose tense, moments away from turning and around and lashing out at her abuser, so I quickly placed my hand on her shoulder. I didn't grip her hard, but I was close enough to grab her if needed.

"Rose. Let it go. You can't..."

When Rose didn't immediately relax, I started pulling her away before she could make a scene. Lissa followed right behind us, rushing to keep pace as we made our way back to her place.

"What the hell, Dimitri!" Rose started yelling at me as soon as I heard the door shut behind us. "She called me a blood whore or whatever  _twice_  and you just want me to take the high road?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, you have to." I felt sick saying it, but she had to know. I wasn't sure memory loss would be a decent enough defense to excuse harming a Royal. "Camille Conta is not only Moroi, she is a royal Moroi. Physically attacking her will do nothing but get you in trouble. You could even be jailed for endangering her."

* * *

**~ ROSE ~**

* * *

"You're kidding me..." I couldn't believe that these people – my supposed friends from another life – were being forced to take her side, not because she was right, but because she was Moroi. She was a 'higher race and class' than me.

"I'm afraid not, Rose." Lissa's soft voice betrayed how upset she was about the situation, even though she was of the same position as that Conta girl. As a so-called Princess, she was probably even better off.

"It's a sick system" agreed Christian, coming in from the kitchen and piecing together the issue based on my rant, "but right now...that's how things are. It's racism and elitism at its worst."

"It wasn't always like this" insisted Lissa again, as if that would lessen the sting of my verbal attack. "I'm told that at one point, a long time ago, our races were considered equal. Symbiotic if you will. We had different roles in society, but both were respected. Dhampirs were active in the government and held all the same rights and privileges as the Moroi. There was still a Royal class, but politics wasn't limited to those who held a certain last name."

"Wait, you are saying that I can't even vote? What do you mean 'same rights and privileges'?"

"No. At this time, dhampirs have little to no say in how our government is run. Even the Guardian Council is under the jurisdiction of the governing Moroi and only acts under their approval."

I was grateful that they weren't pulling any punches about how messed up the situation was, but their bluntness wasn't doing anything to endear me to this world.

"Is there anything else I should know that might get me jailed?"

Adrian, who must have been waiting for us to arrive for lunch, spoke up, "That's the only one that I think you need to worry about to avoid jail time, but other general rules to follow include addressing royals by their title: Lord, Lady, Prince, Princess, and the like."

"But not us" Christian interrupted. "Please. I might lose it if you call me Lord Ozera."

"Guardians are also typically addressed by their title unless you know them personally" Dimitri added.

"This is so messed up." Adrian, Christian, and Lissa all offered their agreement, but Dimitri only gave a barely perceptible nod, as if he were worried about openly agreeing, even in private. Their submission to the way Moroi ran things must have been deeper than I could ever imagine.

"Christian? Why don't you get lunch set up?" I knew Lissa was just trying to get my mind off of things, but he agreed regardless.

When the Moroi whittled out of the room, I turned to face Dimitri, suddenly alone with him. "That woman. She called me a blood whore. What does that even mean?"

He averted his eyes. The term didn't sound pleasant but if stoic and unshakeable Dimitri couldn't hear the term without reacting, it must have been worse than I had thought. After a moment or two, he finally spoke.

"It's a derogatory term for a dhampir, typically a dhampir woman, who allows a Moroi to feed from her during intercourse. It's a taboo in our society, but it still happens enough to be used as an insult against others."

"I thought you said that Moroi only drank from feeders..." The thought made my heart race, and remembering the odd longing from the feeder center, I wasn't entirely sure it raced in fear.

"Yes. For the most part that is right. But in some relationships, it happens. As far as I hear, it tends to be consensual. There seems to be an extra..." he searched for the right term, "endorphin rush for both parties while aroused."

"Oh." I couldn't ignore how uncomfortable he seemed to be in telling me this, and that made me more nervous than anything he actually said. "Did I ever...?"

I left the question hanging in the air because I was worried that I already knew the answer. The way that Dimitri avoided looking at me only seemed to confirm it. I really wanted to cover my ears like a toddler but I forced myself to stand tall.

"No, not in the traditional sense of the word. There were rumors at the Academy, but that's all they were. Petty lies from other students. You have let a Moroi drink from you before though."

I reared back instinctively and he immediately put his hands out to reassure me.

"It was voluntary. Remember when we said that you and Lissa were on the run for several years? You were trying to stay hidden and you couldn't exactly visit a feeder. You fed Lissa several times a week to keep her alive. It was unorthodox, but honestly, it was admirable."

He looked distant for a moment before his lips turned up so slightly that I barely noticed, except that he suddenly looked somehow more warm, open, and inviting. "That was actually my first impression of you."

"What?" I couldn't imagine that he would be reminiscent about something that was apparently so taboo in this world.

"We had been searching for you two for months. I was leading the team on this particular mission and we had a random lead that you were in Portland. We had staked out the building for a few hours when the light in the room you and Lissa shared turned on. It actually took me by surprise because it was the middle of the night, and all of our information said you were on a human schedule to blend in with those around you. I could see you from the window. You were comforting her about something. Then, before we had the chance to retrieve you both, you offered your neck to her."

I wrinkled my nose, still uncertain about the thought of giving my blood to another, but he pressed forward.

"Every guardian monitoring you two was in shock, including myself. I think several of them simply turned away, but I couldn't. I just watched as you allowed yourself to be weakened so that she could be strengthened. I had never seen or heard of a guardian doing something like this as a means of protection, and even then, I knew that it made you different."

Dimitri looked...almost proud. Even though it was still off-putting, I was beginning to see what he had seen that night and for once, it didn't seem that awful. In fact, if faced with the same choice today, I might even do it all again.

"Of course, right after that, you happened to look out the window and catch me watching. Not my finest moment in my guardian career. Anyways, you took Lissa and ran. Had you not been fed from just a few moments before, you might have gotten away again but like I said, you had been weakened and Lissa had to practically carry you. I figured once you were face to face with a guardian, you would see that the battle was over and give up, but you surprised me again."

"What happened?" I eagerly asked. I was actually getting into the story, nearly forgetting that I was one of the main characters in my anticipation of what happened next. I could almost see myself trying to run alongside Lissa through the dark Portland streets and seeing Dimitri in my path. There was no doubt that he was strong and well trained. Even just a cursory glance could tell you that much. I must have been terrified.

"You attacked me."

"I what?!" Perhaps if I had known myself better, I could have seen that one coming. However, Dimitri seemed like an impossible opponent and when you were out matched and out of options, you run. It was one of those lessons that just felt so deeply ingrained, I couldn't imagine doing anything else. The only reason I had tried to take on Dimitri in the alleyway outside of work was because running hadn't been an option and I had no other choice but to try to fight him.

He grinned at my reaction, maybe please to see that I was no longer caught up in the incident earlier. "You completely disregarded my peaceful approach and went on the offensive."

"Please tell me I got at least one good hit in before you took me down." Let's face it, when push came to shove, Dimitri would probably always take me down eventually.

"Not a chance."

The cocky bastard had the gall to smirk at me! Well, two could play at that game. "Hey, I got in a few back in Vegas."

"Yeah, you did. But I was trying to talk to you, not apprehend you. Plus, I had been drinking."

"Uh-huh. Sure." I nodded my head dramatically at his excuses. "So your first impressions of me included doing something universally looked down on in the vampire community and then attacking you. Why did you offer to be my mentor again?"

"Pretty much those exact reasons, though I prefer to phrase them differently. My first impression of you included you putting your charge in front of your reputation and pride, and then putting your charge before your own physical safety in difficult odds. Both are very admirable traits and show a dedication that can't be taught. I just needed to help you a little bit with self-control and technique."

"I think you were a bit more successful with one than the other." I bumped his shoulder with my own, knocking him ever so slightly off balance for barely a moment.

"To be fair, your self-control might have been a lost cause from the beginning." Dimitri's tone was playful and teasing, so unlike anything I had ever seen from him before. I liked it. I liked the way eyes looked brighter when he smiled at me. I liked the way my soul felt lighter when I heard him laugh. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks: I didn't just like making Dimitri laugh...I liked him.

The clarity left me as stunned as he must have been the first time he saw me through that window. I knew I had found him attractive from the first moment I laid eyes on him. I could even recognize that I had been drawn to his calm stability as a source of strength and comfort as I went about this current madness. But somewhere down the line, it had become something...more.

As quickly as the elation had come, I felt a sinking feeling. There's no way that Dimitri felt the same way as I did. He had been a mentor for me, a teacher. He probably saw me as nothing more than a child, and a fairly incompetent weak one at that. He had seen me break down and freak out more than once since finding me and I couldn't imagine someone as strong and powerful as Dimitri would be content with a girl seven years younger than him and barely holding it together right now.

"Hey, are you okay?"

His playfulness from a moment before was gone, and instead he looked concerned. I was sad to see that smile go, but I knew that holding onto it wasn't healthy for me either. I couldn't get too attached to Dimitri, and I definitely didn't need to be thinking about how his slightly crooked grin made me feel.

"Yeah. I'm fine." When I forced a smile, I could see Dimitri relax a little. "Come on. Let's go see what Chef Christian has for us today."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, we got to hear about the "meet cute" between these two, and from Dimitri, no less. I like their semi-awkward flirting :) And poor Rose with her sudden realization, both about the crazy vampire world she's now living in and her growing feelings for Dimitri. What do you think Rose is going to do about the situation?
> 
> Don't forget to review, favorite and follow! Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

** ~ROSE~ **

* * *

It had been Lissa's idea. I think she was trying to find a way to make me feel better, worried that my distress during dinner was still the result of the mean girls earlier rather than the sudden and shocking realization that I might be falling for someone that I had no business being attracted to. Either way, I wasn't really given any other option but to accept her proclamation for a sleepover.

"Slumber party? Liss, you're 21 and one of the most influential people in the Moroi world, and you want to have a slumber party?" Christian seemed hesitant to taunt his fiancé over the matter, but you could see that it was barely being held back.

"Sure!" She replied eagerly and somehow unaware of how odd her suggestion sounded, even to me. "Rose and I used to do this all the time when we were younger. It would be nice to relive some of those memories."

My eye flit to Adrian, hoping to see anyone who might have caught just how ironic her statement really was, but I stayed mum on the fact that I didn't have those memories to relive. "Sounds good," I replied instead. "Actually, it sounds great. I've never actually been to a sleepover, or at least not one that I could recall."

"And who knows, maybe it'll trigger something for you." She somehow seemed even more excited than she had been just a few moments ago, if it was possible.

I highly doubted that pillow fights and boy talk would be what my mind needed to reboot, but it made Lissa happy, so I wasn't going to say no. Plus, it beat me laying alone in bed and trying to not think about Dimitri's smile. And voice. And arms. And...everything.

"So how are we doing this? To be perfectly frank, as much fun as booting Christian to the couch seems, I don't really want to sleep in the bed that you two share. At least, not without replacing the sheets."

"Har de har," Lissa laughed mockingly. "No, I was thinking your room would be fine. If that's okay, I mean. You have a TV so we could marathon some comedies on Netflix and binge on popcorn and M&M's, just like old times."

"Sounds good, Liss."

It didn't take long to clear the dishes, especially when Dimitri insisted on finishing them up so we could go enjoy our girls' night. Part of me wondered if living in a house full of women had anything to do with Dimitri's acceptance and even reverence of the slumber party ritual. He definitely seemed to approve of the idea, that's for sure.

"Have fun tonight," he encouraged, hands hidden underneath the suds in the sink.

"Oh we will." My promise might have been a bit too enthusiastic to be fully believed, but nobody had the opportunity to call me out on it before Lissa was dragging me upstairs.

"So. Tell me. What does one of our slumber parties entail? Are we going to braid each other's hair, or maybe make some prank calls. Oh, I know! We could practice making out." I had assumed that she would playfully shriek at the suggestion, but Lissa surprised me with a saucy grin of her own.

"Well, you have two out of three."

"Oh really? Care to clarify which ones?"

"Well, I already practice with Christian, so I don't think that last suggestion is strictly necessary."

Wincing instinctively at the thought, I laughed at her playfulness and tossed my hair over my shoulder. "Your loss."

"Mmmhmm. I'm sure. Anyways, pick your poison. Parks & Rec or Friends."

"Parks & Rec, all the way." I plopped down on my bed, throwing some of the pillow on the floor to make room for Vasilisa when she reached into the bag that she had snuck in along with her pajamas.

"Oh, and I might have snagged something from Dimitri's private stash," she admitted cryptically before turning to reveal a bottle of Stoli.

"You stole the Russian's vodka? I'm not sure that was the wisest choice."

"It's not like he actually drinks the stuff. He probably won't even know it's missing. Honestly, I'm more worried what will happen when he realizes I took some of the candy bars." She held a couple of large rectangles with words scripted across them in a language that I couldn't understand. Russian...or Cyrillic...it didn't matter, I knew chocolate when I saw it.

I laughed, snatching on of the bars and ripping into the paper and foil wrapper before taking a bite with a loud hum of approval. It may not be the best chocolate I had ever had (living in Vegas did have its perks, high-quality couture chocolate being one of them) but there was no such thing as bad chocolate.

About halfway through the first episode of silly sitcoms, the girl talk began. I could see Lissa squirming a bit, some thought trying to work its way out into the open.

"So, tell me about living in Vegas."

"What about it?" Some of the popcorn fell from my mouth as I tried to stuff another handful inside.

"Well, what did you do for fun?"

"Honestly, I ended up working more often than not, and on the nights I had off I liked to sit back and relax." It was the truth. I was pretty sure that the sofa at our apartment had a permanent indent of my bum.

"So you lived in Vegas and did nothing wild and crazy?" The look on her face was almost exactly what I imagined my face looked like when I learned vampires weren't just imaginary.

"Oh, I'm not saying that. When we first moved down, Marie and I acted like typical tourists. We did some of the rides, hit some of the clubs, and even took in a couple of shows. Marie freaked out on the Hot Shot which was hilarious. I can still remember the sound of her shrieking and there might have been some maniacal laughter on my part."

Lissa's smile was genuine, but grew wistful as I offered more and more stories from mine and Marie's adventures.

"It sounds like you two are close."

"Yeah. But that happens when all you have is each other, you know? I don't know if I would have been able to make it without her. And to a certain extent, she needed me too. Her super-conservative family had pretty much disowned her after she had gotten pregnant and even though the baby didn't make it, she decided that she needed to start over away from the memories and judgment. I guess we were both starting over in our own way."

Lissa nodded, an odd look in her eye like she was trying to look into the past. "We did that too once. Definitely not to the same extent you or Marie did, but we leaned on each other quite a bit over the years too. First when my family died in the crash, because they were almost like your family too. But we had the Academy back then so it wasn't just us. Then when we left the Academy...It was like starting from scratch. You got us enrolled in school somehow, you got us an apartment, you made sure we survived. We were flying under the radar, and we had a few close calls, but we made it work together."

"Sounds like it's the story of my life. Starting over again and again. I guess it's too much to hope for a life of peace and quiet..."

"You wouldn't be able to handle it."

For a moment I was offended, and frankly surprised that the pretty, pretty princess would say something like that...until I saw her serious facade break apart in a fit of giggles. I tumbled after her.

"Yeah," I finally admitted while trying to catch my breath, "you're probably right."

And almost in a moment, I could understand how two girls from opposite worlds could grow to best friends and sisters. How I could be willing to sacrifice myself for her safety and how she could love me so much that she somehow reached across the wall of death to bring me back to life. We were completely opposite from one another, but in a weird way, we worked together.

However, I couldn't help a nagging question in the back of my mind. Lissa was a healer...but she had yet to even offer to restore my memories. If anyone could fix this situation, it would be her...right? If she could make all this go away, then why hasn't she done so yet? She seemed more eager than anyone else for me to remember our childhood together. It didn't make sense.

I tried to let my bitterness simmer on the back burner, but it overflowed unexpectedly when my back was turned. Lissa was rambling about some wedding plans, something about choosing the flowers and having difficulty finding the right color of hydrangea for the ceremony, when I just blurted it out.

"Why haven't you healed me?"

She froze in the middle of her sentence, her jaw falling slack for a moment before she composed herself. "What do you mean? I've healed you plenty of times."

"I mean now. Why haven't you healed my memory loss?"

"Oh...oh, Rose. I wish I could."

"You can't?" I didn't know if I should be relieved that she wasn't simply ignoring my need for her gift, or disappointed that it wasn't even a possibility.

"No. At least, I'm pretty sure I can't. From what you were describing to us, it sounds like your memory loss isn't due to some injury. If you had hit your head and that caused the amnesia, I might be able to fix it, but it sounds like the problem is more psychological than physical. Unfortunately, my Spirit specialty doesn't extend to mental disorders."

"Oh." Disappointed. I was definitely disappointed.

"Hey, I can still try if you'd like." Lissa sat up, crossing her legs on my bed and gesturing me over. I scooted in front of her so our knees touched. She grabbed my hands, squeezing them briefly before placing her palms against my temples.

I wasn't sure I even wanted to hope. I had gotten so used to being thwarted that I had reverted to simply accepting that things were never going to change. But ever since meeting Dimitri and the others, I could feel that little glimmer of hope, the one that I desperately tried to hide, working its way out again. These people had showed a whole new world, maybe they could show me a whole new possibility.

"Open your mind." She smiled gently before closing her eyes.

I mimicked her action, trying to do as she said and relax. I had yet to really attempt to get into Lissa's head since coming to Court. In fact, I've actively been trying NOT to. It felt like a complete violation of her privacy for one, and second, it was honestly just uncomfortable. Every time I had slipped into Lissa's mind on accident over the years, it had felt like an out of body experience. I felt like I wasn't in control and there had been a few times where it had been almost terrifying because I wasn't able to get back out and into my own head. I could even vaguely remember hearing her voice in my mind during those early weeks, calling out to me even though I didn't understand. It was terrifying, and I was afraid I might have been going crazy. Hearing disembodied voices rarely ever means something good. Over the years, it seemed like I had unintentionally built up a wall of sorts to keep us separated. Breaking that same wall down willingly made me nervous.

My faith was rewarded though. I could recognize something come over me. I don't know how to describe it except for warmth, light, and everything good. I could practically feel a tingling in my fingers and toes, and a sense of peace washed over my mind. Suddenly, hope didn't seem like such a bad concept anymore.

After only a moment or so, she let me go, and the sudden absence of Spirit or magic or whatever she had done was almost painful. It had been less than thirty seconds and I was already craving it.

When I opened my eyes, Lissa still had a look of blissful contentment on her face. She gave a deep sigh before acknowledging me. "Anything?"

Suddenly remembering the whole point of this exercise was the attempt to get my memories and not reveling in the feeling of Spirit, I retreated into my mind again. I searched for anything. A memory of my mother, of school, of Lissa and her family, of Dimitri...nothing. There was nothing.

I couldn't even look at her as I shook my head. I didn't blame her. Really, I didn't. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't heal me, no more than it was my fault that I couldn't remember in the first place. Still, I felt a faint sense of anger. Perhaps it was directed at fate or whatever higher power was up there. Either way, I had learned long ago that it was no use dwelling on this particular issue because it wouldn't get me anywhere, so after allowing myself another ten seconds or so of wallowing, I forced a smile on my face.

"Don't worry, Liss. You said it was a long shot anyways. I think it might be time to start on that Vodka now though."

The night ended up being easier than I ever thought possible and I found myself forgetting the difficulties of the day. Honestly, the difficulties of the entire week seem to disappear, at least for the moment. We ended up falling asleep curled around one another while the episodes blurred together, and the last thing I remembered was a dark figure sneaking into the room and flipping off the television off.

BREAK

Lissa and I were singing along in the back seat of the car together the next morning, laughing like best friends do. I could see the morning light over the hill, making the road glisten from the overnight rainfall. I felt free, younger than I had in years.

I looked to the front, expecting to see the familiar face of Dimitri or Eddie behind the wheel, but instead saw a tall man with blonde hair, jade green eyes, and a warm smile that made me feel safe and secure. I didn't recognize the man, but I recognized the title. Dad.

But not my dad. Whose dad? Before I could work out the mystery, something behind him caught my attention.

It was a blur of light, heading straight for us. The low blare of the semi's horn made everyone turn and all at once time seemed to stop. No, not stop, but slow down to the point where every second felt like an hour, but I was still powerless to change the fate. The car shifted, spinning away from the oncoming headlights and a sense of weightlessness overcame me as we began to flip off the road and towards the blur of trees.

I felt a form cover me in my seat, blocking my vision of our impending doom. I barely had time to recognize my protector as the same person I saw every morning in the mirror before a scream had me bolting up in the bed.

There was no way to tell if the screams that woke me was based in the dream or in reality, but they continued now as adrenalin pumped through my veins. Beside me, I could feel a body twisting side to side as Lissa remained trapped in her nightmare. No...memory. Our shared memory.

"Liss." I called, shaking her. "Liss, wake up."

She fought for a moment before her screams faded into whimpers and her thrashing into shaking sobs. "Oh God, Rose. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't do anything. It's all my fault."

"No...no, Liss." I cradled her in my arms, protecting her now like I had so long ago. "It wasn't. I was there. I saw everything. It was an accident. It was all an accident. It's not your fault."

A creaking from near the doorway caught my attention, interrupting my gentle but methodical smoothing of her hair. Dimitri stood in the doorway, eyes flashing to every corner as he searched for threats before settling on the pair of us.

In an instant, the battle ready warrior softened as he realized that the enemy wasn't something he could defeat. His eyes showed sympathy, silently asking if there was anything he could do. I shook my head, cradling Lissa a little closer as her breath hiccupped in her throat. He nodded before retreating, offering us some privacy as I continued to catch my breath and comfort my best friend.

An hour later, Lissa was resting peacefully in my bed and I was reliving the horrifying moments leading up to my apparent death over and over again. Even though it was technically a memory, for me, it was the first time I had ever lived it and I couldn't get my adrenalin to settle.

With an excess of energy and no place to relieve it, I sprang up from the bed and threw open the door. Maybe a glass of water would relieve my nerves. If nothing else, it would help relieve some of the sting from tonight's drinking session.

I had expected to see the hallway empty, so the large form near the foyer made me jump before I recognized the silhouette.

"Are you okay Rose?" Even though I knew somewhere in my mind that the six-some shadow could only belong to Dimitri, his heavily accented voice was a welcomed confirmation.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You just startled me."

"My apologies. I heard the commotion earlier. Is Vasilisa alright?"

I nodded, trying to rub the sudden resurgence of visions of light and fire and blood. "Yeah. Just a nightmare."

"You're shaking..."

I hummed, noticing my unsteady hands for the first time. "It was the crash. I...I hadn't seen it before. I guess I'm still a bit shaken up. I was just going to get some water."

"Well, why don't you sit and I'll get you a glass." His concern grew and he had me seated at one of the island stools before I could protest. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"I don't know what to say. The more I think about it, the worse I feel about it. At first, it was just a terrifying image but now I realize that I actually died, and that Lissa somehow brought me back, and then there's the guilt that she wasted that gift on me and not her brother or parents, and then...'

"Woah." Dimitri's hand covered mine, stopping my increasingly wild gesturing and somehow making the frantic thoughts in my mind settle. Now all I could think about was the fact that he was touching me. After a moment, when I finally stopped staring at our joined hands and back up at him, he continued. "First off, bringing you back was not a waste. I'd really appreciate it if you never let that thought cross your mind again." His little smile made my lips quirk automatically. "Second, I'm really sorry that you had to relive that. I'm glad you were there for Lissa when she needed you, but it's okay if you need someone too."

"I thought I was the one who was supposed to protect her." My cheeky reply was nothing more than a way of hiding in plain sight. There weren't many people I felt comfortable relying on, Marie being the primary candidate, but the only person I felt even remotely comfortable talking to here was standing right in front of me. However, since I had only met him a few days ago, I couldn't understand why I felt so safe around him and I didn't want to over step those bounds. Plus, while he makes me feel safe...he also could make me feel incredibly awkward...especially when he smiled like that.

"You have always protected Vasilisa, whether it was you job to or not, but that doesn't mean that there aren't people out there willing to protect you."

"Like who?"

"Like me."

If my heart hadn't been racing out of fear from earlier, it was certainly racing now. Unfortunately, as soon as he said it, he seemed to recognize the potential double meaning and pulled away.

"Anyways. I'll be up for another hour or so if you have trouble sleeping. Should we push off training tomorrow? I don't want you to be too tired -"

"No!" I winced, speaking louder than I had meant to. "I mean, no. I'm fine. I'll  _be_  fine. Besides, I think you owe me a rematch after Vegas."

His playful grin from earlier came back, just for a moment, before my body started giving into with a dramatic yawn. "Well, if you want to challenge me tomorrow morning, you should probably get some sleep. Goodnight Rose."

"Goodnight Dimitri." As I made my way back to my room, I knew there would be no more nightmares tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure this is the FIRST chapter that doesn't include a DPOV. I almost don't know what to do with myself. Of course, I couldn't leave him out completely. Big thanks to Raissa for inspiring this chapter and yes...the next chapter will include some training :)
> 
> It must be absolutely terrifying to see something so traumatic as a car crash only to realize that it is something that actually happened, and not only that, but it also technically killed you. Could you imagine? I know it would shake me up quite a bit. Out of curiosity, what is the most terrifying/shocking thing that has happened to you? Personally, I've looked down the barrel of a loaded gun being pointed at me.
> 
> Thanks for reading and don't forget to review! Love you guys!


	14. Chapter 14

** ~ROSE~ **

* * *

"So, what would you like me to do?" After everything that happened yesterday, I decided that it would be better if I wasn't parading myself around high-class Moroi in public. Perhaps it was better to stick among my own, if you will. That, and Dimitri had mentioned wanting to see how much of my training had stuck despite the memory loss and I was eager to see him in action. Thus, we were here in one of the guardian gyms. The place was fairly empty as it was late morning and most guardians were either on shift or enjoying their off time. I had an odd sense of safety and security being here, though there was a bit of nerves concerning the fact that I was pretty much alone with Dimitri and my more than friendly thoughts about him.

"Warm up first. Why don't we start with some laps?"

"I actually just got off the track," I pointed to the open set of doors leading to the track outside and allowing a slight breeze to cool the gym.

He looked stunned and I couldn't figure out why.

"You ran...willingly? On your own?"

Apparently that wasn't something I did before. From the shocked look on his face, my guess is that he had to force me to run when I was his student.

"Yeah. I've been running nearly every day for as long as I can remember. It seemed...important."

I thought back to when I had started running, shortly after I was released from the hospital and moved in with Marie. I didn't have any other responsibilities at the time, so I was planning a full day of Netflix, broken up by phone calls between my social worker, various doctors, and some personal research of what I was supposed to do to get on with my life.

It didn't take long for me to feel overwhelmed. Like I was trapped and completely out of options. Hopeless even. I didn't remember actively making the choice, but five minutes later I had my shoes on and I was running up and down the neighborhood. While it may not have made my problems disappear, it did give me an odd sense of clarity and I felt more confident in taking on whatever challenges came next. I did the same thing day after day until it was a habit. The days that I didn't run always seemed more difficult.

"I found the track a few days ago" I admitted. "I've been using every evening – I mean morning – since then. I hope that's okay."

He didn't exactly smile, but there was a small quirk in his lips as he stared at me. "Well, I had been planning on running with you to warm up, so I'll need a few laps on the track before we start. If you want to..."

"No, it's fine. I'll run with you. I can take a few more laps."

"Don't over exert yourself too much" he warned needlessly. "Let's do three and next time we can warm up together...if you'd like, that is."

I gave a gentle laugh at how careful he was trying to be with me. This man apparently trained me. He's already fought me in that alley. Yet still, he seemed to be handling me with kid gloves as if I'd break.

Dimitri shortened his stride to match my pace on the track. By the third lap – or his third lap, it was my tenth – I was starting to feel the unpleasant sort of burn in the muscles of my legs. My pacing must have falters just slightly, because I noticed Dimitri pulling back to stay beside me. Finally fed up with his excess caution, I let my competitive nature take over.

It stung like crazy, but I put everything I had into that last quarter lap. I didn't beat him, but I came close. I guess that's the best I could ask for when I was already a bit worn out and my competition had a full extra foot of height on me.

I heard his laugh again as we both tried to catch our breath, one more successfully than the other, and my heart skipped a beat in its rapid pace.

"Still competitive, I see. That always was the best way to motivate you."

I tried to offer some witty reply but nothing came out except my heavy breathing and small cough, so I just nodded instead.

"Here" he said, offering me the water bottle he had been drinking from before. "Drink. I'm sorry I don't have a spare. I've gotten out of the habit of carrying extra water for you. I'll remember another bottle tomorrow."

I hesitated only a moment before drinking, relishing in the fact that he had been in the habit of taking care of me, even if it was in just some small way. As I wiped the excess from my lips, I tried to remind myself that his mindfulness had probably been more brotherly rather than romantic in nature. I shouldn't read into it so much.

"Thanks. You'd think I'd remember my own bottle by now though. They always had to keep extra one on hand at the club for me, and I nearly always forgot them when I went to the gym."

"No problem" he replied with a shrug, smiling more with his eyes than his lips. "You and I can share one today...or there's a water fountain inside if you'd prefer." Dimitri spoke the last part hurriedly, like an afterthought.

I made a face and stuck out my tongue. "No thanks. I think I'd rather share the bottle with you than the fountain with every other guardian in Court."

He turned away and started back towards gym, shaking his head and giving a sigh as if I was already pushing the limits of his patience, but the brief look I got of his face before it disappeared from view reassured me that he was holding back some laughter. It seemed like making him smile and laugh was my new goal in life, and coming from someone who was searching for clues to the first 18 years of her existence, putting it all aside to see a guy smile was saying something.

* * *

 

**–** **DIMITRI–**

* * *

 

When we were back in the echoing four walls of the gym, I reached for my bag and pulled out some hand tape for Rose, setting my own hand wraps aside.

"I was hoping we could do some pad work first. Need help taping up?"

She flashed me a smile and dug inside her own bag, pulling out two small black bundles. "Better yet, I have my own wraps. I also have some gloves if you want to take me on today."

I knew she was only speaking sarcastically, but fighting her in the alley had been surprisingly difficult all things considered. Rose had also been getting fairly close to beating me regularly before her accident, and if she somehow retained everything I had taught her and continued training, it would be interesting to see exactly how we matched up.

"Wraps for now" I called back and picked up the strike pads from the supply rack. "Maybe I'll challenge you later."

We worked on basic strikes and combos for nearly an hour. Her technique was nearly perfect. It was a little different than what we had practiced at the Academy, but it was more of a stylistic choice than an actual error. I was immensely grateful that she has followed her intuition to keep practicing her combat skills, even though she didn't understand how they came to be or why it was important to do so.

After working on combos, I pulled out the mats for some actual sparring practice. I ended up pinning Rose more often than not, but she gave me a run for my money. After getting a feel for my own fighting style, she was able to adjust her own to fend me off easier. It was the tenth match, the third "last one" that Rose had begged for, when she was finally able to get the upper hand.

I had barely dropped my guard for a second. I started with me accidentally kicking Rose and little harder than I had meant to and knocking her back. From the small gasp I had heard, I assumed that I had knocked the wind from her. It didn't matter if I did or didn't, because she used that moment to take advantage of my distraction and pounced.

As I reached forward, anticipating to catch her fall, she knocked my arms aside, kneed me, and pushed me down to the ground. I barely had a chance to put together what was happening before she was straddling me with her hands placed above my heart.

"Dead!" She looked at me with enthusiastic attention, seeking my approval. Her forehead was littered with strands of hair that had fallen from her ponytail and her cheeks were flushed pink from excursion. Her breath came in struggled pants but her eyes were bright and alive, the way they always had been when we trained. She was gorgeous, and I was entirely too aware of every inch of her body, especially where it touched mine.

Perhaps in another life, one where we hadn't been separated by fate and circumstance, I would have flipped her over and encouraged a whole new form of exercise between us. As it was, I simply nodded my surrender and let my head fall back against the mats in an effort to collect myself.

Rose sprang up from her position over me, letting out a joyous shout at my defeat and throwing her fists in the air in triumph. "Are you not entertained?!" She bowed to and reveled in the applause of a nonexistent crowd, before turning back to me.

"You got lucky" I insisted, giving her a small smile to reassure her that I was only teasing.

"And  _you're_  apparently a sore loser." She extended her hand out to me, countering my weight as she helped me off the floor.

When we were both standing, we were much closer than anticipated. I steadied myself by holding her hips, but made no effort to put distance between us. Her hands rested against my abs. Any of the efforts I had made moments ago to control the urge to kiss her were suddenly gone as I realized her chest was close enough to brush against me.

"You are amazing, Roza. You did very well." I brushed one of the wayward locks of hair behind her ear and I allowed myself to memorize every facet of the way she looked up at me, in no more rush than I was to step away from one another.

She was so close. All it would take was a small dip and my lips would be against hers. I had missed her kiss for so long, and being so near without doing so now was torture.

"Thanks" she replied, slightly breathless. Her eyes flitted down for a moment before meeting mine again. "So…um... anything else you'd like to try?"

"Yes." _Oh God, yes._ I closed my eyes, catching myself a moment before I has started leaning down towards her. _Focus, Dimitri._

I pulled away, feeling a slight chill when the draft from the overhead fan was able to finally pass between our bodies again. I took a few moments longer than necessary as I searched my bag for what I was looking for. My hand had found the stake immediately, but I needed to calm my racing heart before I faced Rose again.

When I finally felt like I could breathe again, I turned around, stake in hand. Rose was looking away, probably confused and maybe even upset that I had been so close to her. It was entirely inappropriate and I was lucky that she hadn't called me out on my behavior. Honestly, I was lucky that she was still willing to be in the gym alone with me.

Purposefully not looking me in the eye, she stared at the stake in my hand instead. She stared at it curiously, like she didn't quite recognize it though it seemed familiar.

"Is that...?"

"A stake" I finished. "A charmed silver stake to be precise. This is the guardian's weapon of choice. We had just started training before you left."

I knew this would be the best test of whether or not she had retained any of our training sessions. Boxing and sparring could be taught anywhere and while she fought with a style that certainly hinted towards my own, it wasn't impossible that she could have learned to fight after her accident with someone else. Working with a stake though, that was something she could have only learned from me.

I handed it to her carefully, watching her every moment and looking for signs of her training. She gripped once, incorrectly at first and then immediately readjusting her hold to the one I had showed her years ago. She twisted her wrist, watching the light bounce off the point and becoming reacquainted with the weight of it in her hand. Finally, she looked up and smiled.

"It feels good, like this is...right."

Still fearful that this was all too good to be true, I led her towards one of the practice dummies on the edge of the gym. I positioned her about three feet in front of it and then stepped back. I took a deep breath, trying to settle my nerves before I spoke again.

"Rose, where's the heart?"

She looked at me questionably before focusing on the dummy and furrowing her brows in concentration, puzzling out my odd question in her mind.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. Time had stopped as I waited for her. She must have stood there for a full minute, though it felt like a full hour, and just as I was losing hope and about to tell her to not worry about it...she leapt forward.

In a flash, her stake pierced the dummy, just left of center chest. It was difficult to see in such a quick motion, but Rose angled her attack upwards, coming under the ribs before twisting at the last moment so that the silver found its mark.

The action was over within seconds, and when she stepped back, Rose almost looked surprised at what she had done. The uncertainty was evident on her face. "Was that correct? Did I find the heart?"

I nodded, half in agreement and half in amazement. She remembered. Anything after this would only be a further confirmation to me that she remembered her training. Somewhere, hidden deep in the recesses of her mind, where even she couldn't consciously find them, she remembered everything I had taught her. More importantly, somewhere...she must remember me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to some technological difficulties a few weeks ago (computer finally kicked the bucket) I wasn't able to post this chapter on AO3. Now that I'm back, you lovely readers get DOUBLE POSTING! Lucky you. These training chapters (yep the next one continues the training session) are some of my favorite!


	15. Chapter 15

** ~ROSE~ **

* * *

Training afterwards was much more relaxed. After I staked the dummy – correctly, according to Dimitri, though I have no idea how I knew what do – he made me repeat the attack a few more times and then had me show him some of the things that I worked on over the past few years. He was surprised to learn about the self-defense for women class that I taught several times over at the local gym. The head martial arts instructor had been male, and he had suggested that having a female instructor for the class might make it more comfortable for some women, so I enjoyed helping him out. Even if I was never paid for the time I volunteered there, it was more than enough to know that those lessons might help those women out one day.

Trained as he was, Dimitri was able evade most of the self-defense tactics, but I was also able to overpower him more than once. Most recently, I had used one of his attacks against him, twisting his hand in an unnatural way and forcing him to the ground.

He laughed from the flat of his back, looking up at me and seeming more relaxed than I had ever seen him before, despite being several hours into our gym training. Rather than getting up in the normal and somewhat boring way he had every other time I had taken him to the mat, he instead rocked back onto his hands and shoulders and then kicked up, flying from the ground to a standing position in a thoroughly impressive way. He had done it so graceful and effortlessly, it was practically unfair.

"Wow."

He looked at me with a puzzled expression and I realized that I had spoken out loud. And now I was just staring at him.

"Have you ever thought about dancing?" Yeah, that wasn't any less random or awkward...

Dimitri cocked an eyebrow, a gesture that made him seem somehow  _more_  attractive, and then asked, "You mean like..." He gestured vaguely at me and it took me a second to understand that he thought I meant the very risqué style that I had been doing at the club when they had found me.

My eyes widened, self-conscious about my former job for the first time ever, even though he had meant no disrespect. "No! No," a thought struck me, working its way out of my mouth before I fully thought it through, "Not that people wouldn't enjoy that..."

Now it was his turn to look surprised and perhaps a tiny bit scandalized.

"...but I meant ballroom." I spat the last few words out as a desperate attempt to sound somewhat sane.

The shock melted from his face and the tension from his shoulders and he realized what I was actually asking him. "No, I haven't tried dancing. Not really, anyways."

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"Well, Sonya and Karo used to dance in many of the town festivals. Occasionally they made me practice with them. However, that was more of a folk dance than ballroom."

A laugh escaped as I imagined Dimitri participating in some of the traditional Russian dances. "Well, I wasn't thinking about something  _quite_  so aerobatic, but you have a certain...grace...about you. Seriously, even when fighting, you look like you are moving across a stage. You'd be an amazing dancer, I'm sure of it."

He didn't look convinced...

"Here." I held my hands out, inviting him to dance. He just stood there like a deer stuck in a truck's headlights. "Come on," I insisted, "You taught me, now it's my turn to teach you. I promise I won't bite." I tried to mimic his little eyebrow thing and failed miserably. That seemed to be enough to break him out of his daze.

He stepped forward, placing his left hand in my right, and his right hand low on my waist. As nice as it felt, I ignored the butterflies in my stomach in favor of proper technique.

"Um...Dimitri...move your hand a little higher."

He was nowhere near anything inappropriate, but by the look on his face, you would have thought he had just been brazenly grabbing my ass.

"I'm sorry," he tried to step back from me, shaking his head in embarrassment, but I grabbed his hand and held it against me.

"Hey, wait." I moved to meet his eyes that kept trying to look anywhere but me. "You're fine Dimitri, you didn't do anything wrong. You just won't be able to lead me properly there. But if you put it here, right under my shoulder blade, you'll have a whole lot more control."

"And what am I controlling exactly?"

"Me." I smiled with one of those smiles I knew would capture guys at the club and I hoped it had some small effect on him. "Well, us. You'll use the music to guide me, to guide us, through the song."

The little twitch in his lips at my smile grew to a full grin. "Yeah? And would you care to tell me how I'm supposed to lead you?"

"Use your hands to push and pull. If you want me to step back, just step forward while keeping your arm firm and I'll naturally move back. When you want me to step towards you, use your hand on my shoulder blade to pull me gently in while you step back."

I suddenly felt pressure on my back, and I instinctively stepped forward. The only thing was...he never stepped back.

"Like this?"

His accent seemed deeper somehow. Perhaps it was because I was close enough to feel his low voice rumbling in his chest. I could feel his voice in my bones and it set me on fire.

"Perfect..."

We stayed there for a moment just staring at each other, holding each other. This was the second time today that I felt like I could kiss him. I remembered how he had pulled away before though. Before I could do something stupid – like rise a few inches on my toes and touch my lips to his – I stepped back out of his grasp.

"I...I should get some music."

"Yeah." He shook his head, as if coming out of his own thoughts. "I guess that would be necessary."

In truth, there was already some music playing. A random mix that he said we had used several times at the Academy for training sessions and he still used regularly. I teased him when the first 80's song came on, but he told me how we had worked out a compromise between the music I preferred (songs from this century) and what he tended to enjoy. Throughout practice though, I had noticed that it was nowhere near a 50/50 split. Dimitri apparently allowed things to be significantly skewed towards my personal preferences.

I pulled his phone from the docking station of the stereo, and replaced it with mine. I flipped to a mix of classic standards, looking for a good waltz to start off with, when I saw one option and smiled. I press play as the first piano notes of Lady Antebellum's "If I Knew Then" started and saw the recognition in Dimitri's eyes.

"I actually know this one."

"Thought you might, Cowboy." I held my hands up in formation and he stepped into position. "Now keep your arms and shoulders firm, and step forwards with your left foot...good...step to the side with your right...and now bring your left foot together with your right. You did it!"

Granted, he did all three steps looking down at his feet, but still, not bad for someone who had never danced before.

"This time, we're going to do it again, but backwards, and I want you to keep your eyes on me."

He was a little more hesitant this time, missing the beat of the song completely, but he was able to lead me pretty well regardless.

"Think of them like strike combos. Forward, two, three, then back, two, three." I continued counting the steps a few more times until Dimitri found his rhythm and confidence, and then he was able to take over without any more help from me. We didn't do anything fancy, just the basic waltz step, but I found myself falling into our dance more than I had ever fallen into one of my partner dances before. It felt natural to be in Dimitri's arms, following his lead as he looked to me for support.

As the song came to a close, Dimitri began to relax and so did I. He seemed...happy. The way he watched me made those butterflies come back in my belly, twisting it into the most pleasant of knots. The song changed and I showed him other moves, including turns and whisks and even a dip. Granted, that last one was motivated by the purely selfish desire to be completely wrapped up in his arms.

Another few hours went by, and Dimitri proved my theory correct: he was actually a wonderful dancer once he knew what to do. He had a gracefulness that was completely unexpected in a man of his size and I was frankly jealous at how deftly he moved. Our dance lesson became less and less structured with each song, and eventually we just swayed along to the music together rather than actually dancing. We talked constantly, but about nothing of any importance. I'm not sure I could have recalled the conversation but I doubt I'd ever forget the way that his accent sent shivers down my spine, or the way that his thumb gently brushed over my knuckles like a caress.

Suddenly, the slow music was broken by the gym door opening. The loud metallic crash echoed and Dimitri and I sprang apart like two teenagers caught in the backseat of a car. If only I could be so lucky.

Eddie looked between us before settling on Dimitri. I could see a private conversation pass between them and I momentarily felt annoyed that I didn't understand whatever was being said. So I broke their silence.

"We were dancing."

Now Eddie just looked surprised. "Dimitri dances?"

I looked over to the man in question, who seemed to be slightly embarrassed by our lesson being discovered. "Yes," I assured, more to Dimitri than to Eddie, "quite well actually."

"Oh really?" I could hear Eddies taunting tone underlying his words, and I let mine attitude match his.

"With a little help from me, of course. Are you here for your lesson?"

"No actually, though I'll take a rain check on it. Guardian Belikov here wasn't answering his phone and if he doesn't get going now, he's going to be late for his patrol shift."

I could hear Dimitri mutter something that sounded suspiciously like a Russian curse before taking off for his bag. I checked the clock and it we had apparently been in the gym for over half the day.

"Eddie, would you mind taking Rose back to the house? I have a change of clothes here and I can get in a shower if I head out right after."

Eddie looked about ready to reply when he got an odd glint in his eye, and followed it up with a smile that made me question his motives a little. "I got a better idea, Belikov. Why don't you have Rose shadow you tonight? Let her see what being a guardian is all about."

"I don't -"

"Yes!" I interrupted, a little louder than strictly necessary.

Dimitri looked at me a little surprised, but pleasantly so. "Really? Patrols are rarely eventful. It's more like taking a long hike than anything else."

"A nice long walk sounds perfect to me."

"Perfect," he confirmed.

Eddie cleared his throat with a smile. "Fine, now that that's all taken care of, I'll take Rose home so she can change while Dimitri clocks in. We'll meet you near the South gate, alright?" Eddie turned and started walking away before anyone could protest, offering one more playful smirk before I hurried to catch up to him. Perhaps I should have questioned why Eddie seemed so pleased with himself, but I couldn't spare the thought through my own nervous energy.

* * *

** – DIMITRI – **

* * *

They were five minutes late. It felt like an eternity though. I wondered if she had changed her mind, but Eddie would have called me if that was the case, right? I continued to pace a small path back and forth near the South gate, deciding to wait another five minutes before calling Eddie.

Thankfully, I only needed to wait another two. Eddie guided Rose towards me, his arm around her shoulders and hers around his waist. Both looked to be beaming. The picture made my heart skip in a small moment of jealousy, before I remembered that it was needless envy. Yes, Eddie loved Rose, but not in the same way that I did. Eddie was happy to have one of his best friends back, someone he saw as family. Rose was like a sister to him. They grew up at the Academy together and he thought she was dead for years. Quickly, my resentment morphed into gratitude. It had been years since I had seen Eddie look so relaxed and carefree. He had carried the weight of Mason's death and Rose's disappearance for far too long, and having her back seemed to free him of his guilt.

I could hear their laughter as they came closer. Rose shoved him playfully to the side and he picked her up, swinging her around while she let out a little shriek. Eddie wasn't the only one who seemed young and carefree. Rose almost looked like the seventeen year old that I remembered; the girl who laughed easily and didn't need to worry about the horrors of the world quite yet.

"Alright you two, behave now. No more dance lessons. And Rose, try not to distract Dimitri too much. He is supposed to be working after all." There was a teasing lit in Eddie's voice, but unless you knew better, his words could be constructed as completely innocent. I shot him a look and he returned one of mock surrender over Rose's shoulder before heading back the way he came.

A small silence passed between the two of us then. I couldn't help but notice how much more awkward these little moments were. Back at the academy, the occasional silence had never bothered me. Perhaps they seemed so much more poignant now because there were some many things that I wanted to say and simply couldn't.

"So," Rose broke the quiet, hesitantly, "Patrols."

"Um, yes." How did this manage to become so awkward? "There isn't too much to patrol shifts. It's mostly about keeping aware of your surroundings and looking for anything out of the ordinary." I proceeded to show her the ward lines, marked more clearly by path that the Guardian's footsteps over the years rather than the small carved stone boundary markers on the ground.

"Are Strigoi attacks common?"

"On places like Court? No. It takes a large group of Strigoi working together to attack a compound like this. It has happened in the past," I thought about the massacres leading up to Rose's disappearance, as well as the plan to attack St. Vladimir's that we had discovered and put an end to while searching for her. "It has been a while though. Strigoi typically prefer to work alone. You are more likely to be attacked if you are outside of the wards in a small group, though it is hardly a daily occurrence. That's why Eddie and I stay with Lissa and Christian whenever they venture away from Court, though. Lissa in particular is a higher risk because of her linage."

We talked about everything from how guardian partnerships work, to what a guardian's lifestyle entails when guarding a family. Much of this information was stuff that she would have learned through her years at school, but I was happy to answer any and every question she had. Until her last one...

"I've noticed something. I have yet to meet a Guardian who is married. Besides my parents, which is its own mess that I'm not quite ready to handle yet, I haven't even seen a guardian in a serious relationship. At least, you and Eddie don't seem to have anyone in your lives."

It was a valid observation, and one that I wasn't surprised she had picked up on. Rose had always been fairly perceptive, and though it was never specifically mentioned before, it didn't take a genius to realize that the guardians that she was most familiar with were all single.

"You're correct. It is fairly rare for a guardian to be attached to another guardian. I've only seen it a few times, but even those relationships don't usually end up in marriage since our jobs tend to be unpredictable and we can be moved anywhere around the world. It's less unusual for a guardian to end up with a Moroi, but even that doesn't happen often. For the most part, guardians stay single."

Rose's brows furrowed a little, seemingly disappointed with my answer. "So by becoming a guardian you essentially sign up to become a monk?"

I let out a sharp laugh at the idea. "I didn't exactly say that. I just said that actual relationships are rare."

It took Rose a surprisingly long time to realize what I was insinuating, but when she figured it out, her eyes grew wide. "Oh...well, do what you gotta do, man."

I smiled at how hard she was trying to not look at me in that moment. I knew I needed to tell her that I didn't live that lifestyle, but it was fun to see her squirm a little. However, it seemed like I was the one who would be made uncomfortable by her next question.

"Have you ever fallen in love?"

She asked it with such innocence, in honest curiosity, that it was hard not to blurt out the truth right then and there. Doing so would be a mistake, of that I was certain. I didn't want to scare her off with such a declaration and I was still unsure if it was fair to put that additional pressure on her while she was still adapting to this world. Still, I wouldn't – no, couldn't – lie to her.

"Yes. Once."

"What was she like?" She asked fascinated, before adding, "Or he. I'm not going to judge."

"She," I confirmed, wondering how she could be so blind to the sexual tension between us and question that I was attracted to women, specifically her. "And she...was the most amazing woman I had ever known." I suddenly realize the opportunity in front of me, to be open with her about our relationship and my feelings for her without saying too much and backing her into a corner.

"She snuck up on me. I literally never expected her and I wouldn't have ever dreamed that she would end up meaning so much to me. If anything, she should have been a thorn in my side, but I knew from the first time I saw her that there was something about her that made her different from any other person I had ever known."

"Love at first sight then?"

"Hardly," I laughed. "I'm pretty certain she detested me. I wasn't exactly thrilled being forced into her company either, truth be known. But...there was always a certain respect and understanding between us and I think that made the difference in the end. The more I got to know her, the more I became enamored with her."

Rose's smile made her eyes light up. She was entranced with our love story without realizing her part in it. "What she pretty?"

"Beautiful. Her hair, her eyes, her smile. Everything about her was beyond stunning. I have yet to meet a woman who can even come close in comparison. She was so beautiful, there was almost a physical ache to see her and not have her wrapped in my arms. It felt like there was a piece of me missing without her. But it wasn't just her beauty. It was her strength. She was so strong; physically, emotionally, mentally. In many ways, I think she was stronger than I was. She pushed me to be a better version of myself. I'm sorry to say that I often fell short of being worthy of her, but she always had faith in me. Eventually, it was hard to imagine living life without her." I looked at Rose, somehow hoping against hope that she would understand.

Unfortunately, she seemed completely oblivious. "Did she feel the same way?"

"I'd like to think so, but I can't say for certain." My breath felt heavy in my chest, weighing me down as we walked. "Unfortunately, we never got that far."

"What happened to her?"

"I lost her. I had a moment of selfish stupidity and I pushed her away. Then...she was gone."

Rose stopped abruptly, turning to face me and taking my hands in hers. "Dimitri..." she breathed, "I'm so sorry."

Seeing her honest sympathy for me felt odd. I hadn't meant to deceive her by telling her all this, but it felt like I was to a certain extent. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to look directly at her.

"It's okay, Rose. Like I said, it was my fault. I've spent years regretting the way I took her for granted. Maybe one day I'll be able to make things right with her."

Rose looked down at our hands, still clasped between us. "If you still love her," she glanced up at me, a bit shyly, "then I think you should. I bet she still thinks about you too. I'd imagine that you're a pretty hard guy to forget."

I bit back a bitter laugh at the irony. "You'd be surprised. Who knows though, maybe she'll take me back regardless."

I started walking again, continuing our trek around the grounds. She hesitated for only a moment, but soon followed, her hand in mine. I could see a little of her confusion from the corner of my eye, but she never pulled away from me and that was more than I could have hoped for. We spent the rest of my shift talking about other aspects of the guardian lifestyle, and about other things of little consequence, before heading home together. I never expected our first date to be like this, but if I was honest with myself, there were much worse ways to spend an evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! So sorry again for the delay. I have a new computer (a Surface Pro 3, if anyone is interested) and it is SO good to be writing and posting again. It's just an added bonus that I get to start by sharing one of my favorite chapters of this story :) I promised training would get more interesting!
> 
> The idea of Dimitri dancing (and specifically, Rose teaching him how to dance) had been with me since the start. I love the idea of Dimitri being a bit awkward about it, but eventually they both end up forgetting the whole dancing aspect and just start talking together as the music plays and they lose track of time.
> 
> I'm also would love to see your opinion on Dimitri talking about their past relationship without actually specifying it was Rose he was talking about. Personally, I think the poor boy needed to vent a little because he's been struggling with trying to let things develop naturally and not push her, but I could also see it being a bit deceptive of him to not give her all the facts.
> 
> Once again, I feel horrible for the delay. Remember that I'll post any update or delay notices on my Tumblr page (gigi256) so follow me there if you want to be the in the loop. Shadow Kiss DPOV and Meet Me in the Memory will resume normal posting schedules! Have a great week guys!


	16. Chapter 16

–  ** DIMITRI – **

* * *

The days fell into a comfortable routine. Rose and I ran first thing in the morning, followed by some training, occasionally another dance lesson here and there. I had my regular patrol shifts, and sometimes she accompanied me, and sometime she stayed with Lissa and the others. With every passing day, Rose seemed to slip into her old position in our little group, and that ache left by her absence was finally filled.

The day of the Lazar Charity Gala, I knew I wouldn't be seeing Rose much during the day. I had expected her to get a little extra sleep, but just like every other morning this week, she was at the door waiting for me. After our run, Rose reminded me that Lissa had the next twelve or so hours booked solid. She seemed to have mixed feelings about the Princess's schedule; manicures were positive, final dress fitting and alteration...not so much. I had never been much for my sisters' idle girl talk at home, but listening to Roza was something else entirely. I felt like I could listen to her for hours, simply because talking about these little nothings seemed normal and unhurried. I could feel that old companionship, the trust and friendship we had back at the academy, blooming again in full force. Being with her again was like taking a breath again after being submerged under the darkness of water. Just her presence filled me with life and peace.

Thankfully, the sharp edge of not being with her all day would be dulled slightly by the fact that I would be plenty busy on my own. I was on shift for the entire gala, and would need to be there a bit early to go over final security updates with the other guardians. Before then, I had several errands that I had pushed off all week in favor of spending time with Rose and the others. It seemed like my days revolved around Rose, like they unwittingly had at the Academy, and I couldn't say that I minded. I resisted the urge to check in with her, under the guise of checking in with Lissa, all day. Eventually, it came time to put on my formal guardian attire and clock into my shift.

The large Ballroom was easily the most elaborately designed space in the entire Court. Where many of the building interiors had been modernized with clean lines and sleek furniture, the Ballroom could have easily been picked out of historical Russia, Paris, or Italy. There were thirty foot cathedral ceilings, gilded mirrors, and elaborately carved molding. The parquet floors had been restored and the old sconces and chandeliers had been wired for electricity, but it still held its awe inspiring charm.

Today, a raised platform held a twelve-piece orchestra, already warming up. It looked like they had also booked a vocal artist and I wondered if they would keep with the overall impression of the setting with opera or classical music, or if she would sing some more modern melodies. I didn't have too much time to wonder before the professional event coordinator called the staff to attention and I was regulated to my position along the wall. Thankfully, I was far enough from the music so I would be able to enjoy it without it becoming deafening before the end of the night. I sent a small sympathetic glance towards Guardian Asay who had been placed next to the stage and hoped that he would be given some relief during the night.

Eventually, I started seeing the guests file into the banquet hall. I had warned Rose that I wouldn't really be able to interact with her during the event because I would be on the clock, but I was already feeling anxious to see her. My eyes constantly drifted towards the entry, and I even found myself fidgeting to get a closer look whenever I saw someone who even remotely resembled her.

Rose was always beautiful to me. Seeing her flushed and breathless during our workouts was captivating, and it took effort to keep from outright staring at her every evening when she was sprawled out over the couches back at home, relaxing in jeans and a tee shirt. But there was something particularly special when Rose allowed herself to be draped in elegance. I had only seen it a few times, the last being our bittersweet moment on the roof before her disappearance, but it left me mesmerized every single time. I could already feel my heart racing in anticipation.

I could literally feel the shift in the air when she walked in. My eyes stole to her, taking in everything. Roza had always gravitated towards an edgier look before, preferring leather over lace, but seeing her covered in the intricate golden material made her seem divine. The material embraced her curves and made her glow, giving her a unique softness that she hid from most people. She was beyond gorgeous, she was mythic. She was the goddess that would have epic poems written in her honor, and temples dedicated to her worship. I could suddenly understand how a nation could fall because of one beautiful woman. Had I been a prince, I would have offered my kingdom just for a single dance.

I wouldn't have that honor though. Not tonight, at least. Her arm was linked in Adrian's, serving as his date for the event. I knew it was a choice that would cause quite a bit of controversy, not only due to his high royal status and kinship with Queen Tatiana, but also because he was one of the several people being honored tonight for their contribution to the Art History Museum. Most had contributed with excessive funds, but Adrian had offered his considerable artistic talent.

I knew it was a purely platonic arrangement, but seeing her by his side still stung slightly. Logically, it made sense. Lissa was attending with Christian as her escort, and rather than Adrian and Rose attending alone, they had come together. Adrian had even relished the idea of shaking the status quo a little by bringing a dhampir as his date. Of course, Rose enjoyed the opportunity to rebel against the powers that be and eagerly agreed to his passive aggressive protest, despite warnings from every other member of our party. I had made Adrian promise to keep a close eye on her, especially if he was the one leading her into the lion's den tonight.

We had come to a silent understanding a few months after Rose's disappearance. We had both mourned her loss and the lost hope of love, but eventually Adrian moved on. He found other fleeting romances here and there, and had once fallen in love with a lovely young lady who we were all certain would be made a permanent addition to our pseudo family. It wasn't meant to be though. Adrian still insisted that he was waiting for someone who would change his whole world. Some who – as he confided to me on one alcohol induced moment of honesty – inspired the same heartfelt devotion that he could see between Rose and me the moment he had met us, the same devotion that he still saw in my aura to this day.

I could see the stares starting the moment the unorthodox pair descended the sprawling staircase. Some were more subtle than others, but almost everyone took notice in one way or another. It was hard not to. Despite being one of the most beautiful women in the room, Rose was also the only dhampir here as a guest rather than part of the hired help. She stood out in more ways than one.

She didn't seem to notice. I'm sure she was aware of the people staring at her, but she ignored them and focused on Adrian, Christian, and Lissa. They introduced her to other guests and Rose held herself regally among the royalty, engaging in short pleasantries.

At one point, I saw her searching the room and her eyes fell on me. The world stopped with her smile. Halfway across the room and with a drink in her hand, she offered me a short conversation.

"Hi," she mouthed.

"Hi," I returned in the same manner, my lips moving as little as possible.

"You okay?" Her look of concern melted my stoic guardian mask and I smiled and gave a sharp nod.

She raised her champagne flute in a toast before our silent conversation was interrupted by the orchestra starting a new song. It took me a moment to recognize it, but I realized that it was a classic Russian waltz that Rose had on the CD she had used when teaching me to dance. Since this entire event was paying homage to the nearly lost art of our kind's heritage, it wasn't out of place, though few people took to the floor. In fact, most vacated it. However, Adrian extended his hand to Rose and led her to the very center.

Perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised. Adrian had been brought up in a lifestyle that had the ability to make societal etiquette such as dining and dancing a priority. It was a privilege that many, including some royal families, no longer had opportunity to take part in. But Adrian had probably learned to waltz shortly after learning to walk. Perhaps it was more surprising that he retained the ability to dance, and fairly well. He was able to lead and keep up with Roza, but she still stole the performance.

While it was not nearly as showy as some of the partner dances that I had seen her dance back in Las Vegas, it was well beyond what Rose had taught me. I got lost in watching her dance and the joy it seemed to bring her. She looked as natural there as she did in the gym, and I wondered how such a contradiction could exist. The song was a bit more fast paced, giving it a much more jovial feel than a romantic one, but within moments the other couples had stopped to watch them alongside every single person in the room. Even those who seemed most adamantly against her presence here began to get caught up in the song and when the music came to an end, the crowd broke out in applause. Adrian presented Rose, the true star of the dance, and she gave an overly elaborate curtsy before the pair laughed at the attention.

After their well-received show, Petar Lazar gave his presentation, speaking about our need to hold to our heritage and tradition and preserve them for generations to come. He ended the speech by honoring the generous donors the new gallery and Adrian himself. Adrian was given the honor of revealing the show piece artwork that he had been slaving over for months, almost to the point of obsession. His work had paid off though. It was a masterpiece. Or, technically, a recreation of a masterpiece, but it was immaculate nonetheless.

Adrian became the most sought after person once his accomplishment was unveiled. Rose stuck valiantly by his side while being systemically ignored by person after person, but eventually her patience seemed to wear thin. She slowly slipped into the background, enjoying the ambiance instead of the attention.

* * *

** ~ ROSE ~ **

* * *

I was so proud of Adrian. I had seen him grow steadily more nervous during the night as it lead up to the artwork unveiling. He kept up a brave face and a sarcastic note in his voice, but you could see his relief when he gained the support of the room. I don't think he liked to show it, but I could see how much he craved others' approval despite acting like he couldn't care less. Perhaps it was because I operated on a very similar wave length. I stood by his side as long as I could after that, but there were only so many looks of condemnation that I could endure. I excused myself and retreated to a quiet corner where I enjoy the festivities of the night in peace.

I felt his presence behind me before I saw him. It was heavy and made me uncomfortable, but not nearly as uncomfortable as when I felt a hand brush against the small of my back, dangerously close to grabbing my ass.

I spun fast on my heel to face him, not bothering to hide the prominent scowl on my face. I was tired of the looks and whispers and I didn't have it in me to pretend that they didn't bother me anymore.

"Step back. Please." My demand grit through my teeth. I didn't want to create a scene – Lord knows I've been the center of attention too much as it was – but I didn't want there to be any room for misunderstandings here.

"Well aren't you a pretty little thing? You dance divinely, my dear." He either didn't hear me, or he didn't care. My money was on the latter. The man seemed to be in his early forties with dark hair that was just starting to show its age. He wasn't exactly unattractive, but the way he looked at me made my skin crawl. His hand started to reach out towards me again and I pulled away from his grasp.

I could see a few people already starting to stare in our direction.  _Walk away, find your friends._  It became a mantra as I started stepping back, trying to see anyone out of the small group that I had come to know and respect. Every step I made backwards, the Moroi man advanced. Eventually, I hit a wall with nowhere else to go.

The man – who still had yet to ask my name or give his – pinned me between his hands on either side of me, before letting one trace down my forearm and grab my waist. "What do you say you and I get out of here? I'd love to see how you look underneath that lovely dress."

"Let's not." I forcefully removed his hand from my body, stepping around him and ready to run if needed. Before I could get too feet away, I felt his hand lock onto my wrist.

"Feisty, aren't you? Well, I'm used to getting what I want, sweetheart, and tonight, that's you."

Before I could even process how appalling his words were, I was pulled back towards him. His mouth was on mine and his tongue forced its way between my lips. Nearly gagging, I gave a true knee jerk reaction and felt him break away with a small pain-filled cry. My palm cracked against his face seconds later.

In my right mind, I probably would have run at that moment, however I was frozen in place, staring at a man who had so brutally assaulted me in front of hundreds of witnesses without a single hesitation. How could something like that happen? Why were these people staring at me like I was the one who was in the wrong? Didn't they see what he had tried to do to me?

"You bitch!" The man lunged at me again, only to be stopped by someone finally stepping in.

"Get away from her!" Adrian pushed the man to the ground in front of him. "How  _dare_  you force yourself on this woman?!"

The man gave a sinister smile from where he lay, giving him the appearance of a viper ready to strike. "My apologies, Lord Ivashkov. I didn't realize that you had an exclusive arrangement with your date tonight."

It took me a moment to understand what the man was suggesting, and it shocked me into silence. The others had warned me that by accompanying Adrian, some would take it the wrong way. I had assumed that rumors would fly about some unnecessarily scandalous relationship between the nephew of the Queen and a lowly dhampir. I didn't realize how wrong I was. I wasn't seen as Adrian's date, romantic or otherwise. I was seen as his toy; a plaything to show off at the gala before entertaining him in our own private after party later.

Adrian, however, understood right away. I had never assumed that Adrian would be willing to get his hands dirty, but they were soon covered in the blood of the other man. Adrian had broken his nose and seemed oblivious to the shouts around us as he continued to attack the older man. I could see some of the nearby guardians working their way towards us. Some looked familiar from my time at the gym, but I didn't know any of them by name.

I tried pulling Adrian away, but when he saw the dhampirs moving coming closer, all he did was tell me to run and promised that he'd take care of it. One of the Guardians started to break up the pair. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and realized that I had done exactly what Dimitri and Eddie had warned me not to. I had assaulted a Royal Moroi. I would be probably be taken in and charged with some ridiculous crime for having the gall to defend myself. I turned on the man who would most likely be the one to subdue me, and was surprised to see he was one of the few other guardians that Dimitri had introduced me to. Tanner, I think. As I was debating whether my limited training would be enough to take on what I assumed would be his considerably more advanced skills, he tilted his head ever so slightly and whispered one thing: go.

I took off towards the exit he had pointed me to, and didn't stop until I reached the sanctuary of Lissa and Christian's home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh. Looks like Rose in a bit of trouble. Not that it's her fault in the least. A swift knee to the groin and a slap across the cheek means that bastard got off lucky. Thankfully, Adrian was willing to amend that. But where's Dimitri?
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. You guys are angels and I'm so grateful for the extra time you spend to let me know what you think. Don't forget to favorite and follow me and this story, and stay tuned for next week because this is all leading up to a very big moment :)


	17. Chapter 17

–  **DIMITRI -**

* * *

I heard the commotion on the other side of the room. Tensions were running high at Court these days and it wasn't uncommon for Royals with opposing views to start a shouting match at an otherwise civilized event. I could see Eddie with Lissa and Christian in a different area and knew that they were fine. Though I couldn't see Rose, Adrian tended to stay out of the more vocal aspects of Court politics and I was certain that they weren't in the midst of it. Of course, moments later, I was proven incorrect when a flash of dark hair bolted from the scene.

I signaled for a break as soon as I saw Rose dash past me and out of the room. It still gave her a small head start since my relief took a few minutes to make his way over, but I was fairly certain I knew where I would find her. There still weren't many places that Rose was familiar with, so it made sense that she'd find privacy at Lissa's apartment. If she wasn't there, I had no idea where to look next.

Thankfully, my intuition was spot on. The front door was still cracked open, perhaps overlooked in her hurry. I slipped in quietly, trying to listen to where she might be. I saw her before I heard her.

She was sitting on the living room couch, her face hidden in her hands. She wasn't crying per say, but it was obvious that she was emotionally exhausted and not too far from it. I watched her for a moment before making my presence known.

"Are you okay?"

Her head shot up, and a brief look of relief crossed her face when she saw me.

"Yeah...well, no...but I will be. I just needed to get out of there."

"What happened? I saw guardians breaking something up, but I was too far away to see or hear much."

"Some guy – I don't even know his name – propositioned me." I could tell there was more to the story. The way she had said 'propositioned' made me question if she was making light of something more insidious, but she looked like she was having a hard enough time as it was keeping it together without me pressing her for details. I shouldn't force her to talk about her likely assault unless she was willing to share with me.

I felt the hair on the back of my neck raise and suppressed the urge to hunt down the sorry excuse of a man and teach him some decency and respect. Honestly, I shouldn't have been so surprised. It was only a matter of time. I've seen first-hand how often an unpromised girl of her age was pressured into that lifestyle, both in my hometown and here at Court. Even promised female guardians tended to get an offer here or there, and I doubted that Rose would have escaped the notice of our society's more lecherous eyes. Still, to hear of Rose harassed like that killed me.

"It's one thing to be called a whore. I'm fairly used to that by now. You don't dance in Vegas without a few remarks. But to actually be treated like one... It was worse than I've ever had at the club. Typically those guys are drunk and simply try to make a pass at me. You shoot them down, they go away. That man...he acted like it was his right. He acted like he was doing me a favor by even offering me a night with him. When I declined, he didn't take no for an answer. He grabbed me...he  _kissed_  me. I don't know what would have happened if Adrian hadn't noticed and stepped in. At least at the club I had the reasonable right to defend myself if someone started to get handsy with me."

The more she told me, the more I could feel my temper building. In the end though, I was as powerless to protect her against the scum of society as she was.

"I'm so sorry, Rose. I know it doesn't make it better, but I'm so sorry." It wasn't nearly enough, but I had to say something. "I never should have left you alone."

"You can't always protect me, Dimitri. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated your concern, but it's not your responsibility to watch over me. I'm not your student anymore. I need to be able to do this on my own if I'm going to do it at all."

I was literally biting my tongue to keep from telling her that I would always feel a responsibility to protect her, not because she was my student, but because she was still one of the most important people in my life, even after all these years. I was also fighting the urge to take her into my arms, knowing that first, having a man touch her was probably the last thing she wanted at this point, and second, she still was unaware of our shared past and I needed to tell her the truth before I pursued any relationship between us.

"So, if unpromised women are immediately considered blood whores, what happens to unpromised men?"

"They just...disappear. Most try to assimilate into the human world but there are challenges when you come from a world that doesn't exist in their minds. Many face some of the same issues you did as far as getting educational documents and what not. There are some that stay in the Moroi community, but they face pretty harsh criticism and accusations also. While dhampirs in general are expected to serve as guardians, men have few other options outside the field."

"What would you have done...if you had options, I mean."

I almost laughed at her question, not because it was amusing in and of itself, but because I immediately realized that I had honestly never thought of doing anything other than guarding. It was ridiculous that I had never actually considered what I would have preferred to do if I had a choice.

"I'm not sure. I enjoy reading so perhaps I would do something in field of publishing. It doesn't matter though. Becoming a guardian was all I had ever planned on. This is what was expected of me, I'm good at what I do, others benefit from it... That's all that really mattered to me. You could almost say I was born to become a guardian." I gave a sardonic huff, knowing that the statement wasn't entirely wrong. "But I do actually enjoy my job. I know that protecting those unable to protect themselves is important and it isn't a bad profession to be in. I care about Christian and Lissa, and it if it came to it, I would happily lay down my life for them. I think things would be much different if I didn't like my charge and would only be protecting them out of duty rather than affection."

"I'm not sure if I feel sorry for you, or envy the fact that you are completely dedicated to what you do."

"How about you? Has dancing always been a passion?" Rose and I had never discussed something like this before, and I was almost ashamed to admit that I didn't really know much about her hobbies outside of training.

"'Always' is a bit of a loaded term. I've only been around for a couple of years," She leaned over and bumped my arm with her shoulder, adding a light air to her unusual comment before she continued. "I guess I simply fell into dancing by accident. Like you, I was good at it so I stuck with it. I do enjoy it, especially the physical challenge, but I don't know if I would call it a passion. It was better than waitressing in my opinion and I wasn't very skilled at tending bar, especially going up against Marie. I really don't know. In the end, dancing is just a job to me."

She looked concerned over the admission and I wanted to find a way to brighten the mood again. "If it helps any, you used to be just as dedicated to becoming a guardian as I was. You were also very skilled in combat and it seems like that hasn't changed much, despite everything. You didn't just care about Vasilisa as your charge, you loved her like a sister. You were determined to do anything necessary to keep her safe. I don't think it was ever just a job to you, you treated it like your calling."

She didn't look up from the spot on the floor that had apparently captured her attention, but I did see a faint smile growing. "Thanks. It's still so odd to have others know more about my past than I do. It's weird having someone tell you who you were...or are...or whatever. I just wish I had a first-hand account of my memories."

The idea hit me so suddenly, I actually sat up straighter. Why hadn't I thought of this before? I knew exactly how to give Rose what she wanted, what she needed.

"Come with me." I stood, taking her hand and pulling her behind me before she could object. I led her down the hallway towards my bedroom near the back of the apartment. I could hear her laughing as she followed along, perhaps already knowing that my excitement was completely out of character for me.

I released her as soon as we crossed the threshold, instead turning to search the small bookcase along the wall. Most of the shelves were filled with Westerns in both English and my native Russian. There were a few DVD's that sat at the end of one of the shelves and my fingertips grazed the gift that I had nearly given Rose the Christmas before she disappeared. Still, I was searching for something in particular.

I finally found the small spiral bound notebook, resting on its side with a small box of photos from my family on top of it. The non-descriptive black cover didn't stand out as anything special, but I knew that the gift would be priceless to Rose. I pulled it off the shelf, hesitating a moment knowing what she'd soon find inside. While I didn't read anything past the first page, I knew that it would eventually reveal more about me – about  _us_  – and there was no way to guess how she would take the information. It would be worth it though. Even if she would be so mad that she would refuse to see me ever again, it would be worth it to give her a personal account of her past.

When I turned to face her again, she was sitting comfortably on the edge of my bed, looking equally amused as she was confused.

"Here," I offered. "It's your journal."

Her eyes widened as she realized the magnitude of what I had just given her. She greedily took it from my hands, foregoing all politeness in her eagerness. Her thumb ran along the edge of the pages as she quickly flipped through, not yet reading any of the words but just looking at her self-written history. I could see now that the journal hadn't been completely filled. The last fifth or so of the pages were blank.

"How did you get this?" She asked, her voice soft with a touch of wonder.

"I found before they cleaned out your room. It starts the day that I picked you and Lissa up in Portland, and my guess is that it ends around the time that we left for the lodge that Christmas. I don't know for sure, I've never read it, but I wanted to make sure it was kept safe for when we found you. I'm sorry I didn't give it to you earlier. I honestly forgot that I still had it."

She was quiet for a moment, gently stoking the cover of the simple notebook. When she looked up at me, I could barely see the hint of tears playing at her eyelashes.

"Thank you."

I smiled, knowing that I had made the right choice by keeping her journal all those years ago, and that I had made the right choice by giving it back just now.

"Keep it. It's yours, obviously." I knew she would need hours to pour over the contents, and a quick look at the clock reminded me that I wasn't done for the evening, just on break. "I have to go back to the banquet. I'll be back in a few hours once my shift ends. Will you be okay?"

She nodded wordlessly, already starting in on the first page of the journal. I doubt she even noticed as I slowly shut the door to my room behind me, leaving her in peace to remember the past.

* * *

** ~ ROSE ~ **

* * *

I couldn't believe what Dimitri had given me. I flipped the notebook back and forth, letting the pages run past my fingertips over and over again. I was scared. I wasn't too proud to admit it...at least silently. I had spent years – as long as I could remember – wanting to know something about my past. If it had been a shock to hear about it from others, than what would it be like to hear it from myself?

I opened the first page, recognizing the handwriting even if the story was entirely new to me. I read the story of my capture by Dimitri. I can sense just how angry I was that he had found us and brought us back to the Academy, and how he didn't understand why we had left in the first place. But on the same page, I'm also surprised and touched at how he stood up for me and kept me from being expelled.

The pages were filled with stories. Running with Dimitri in the morning and our daily training sessions. Doing my best to protect Lissa from horrid pranks while fighting my own battles against cruel rumors. All that on top of the normal things you'd expect like homework, friends, and more. It was painfully clear that my childhood was far from typical like I had dreamt about for years.

Underneath everything though, is an emerging romance that I didn't expect. I could see it starting slowly. A look there. A longing here. Initially, it seemed like I just had a school girl crush on my mentor and had to laugh how apparently some things never change. Even then I was enamored with Dimitri, despite the fact that he occasionally annoyed me to no end.

But then everything changed in one night. The night of the Equinox dance. The night that Lissa was kidnapped. The night that Dimitri and I had succumbed to the lust charm. My journal recounts the night in vivid detail. It's almost heart-breakingly vivid. I described the way he touched me, the look in his eyes as he took in my nearly naked body, every word he spoke that night. Reading it now, I can almost feel that night but I can also feel the guilt that consumed me once the spell was broken.

I read the reasons why Dimitri said we could never be. My age, his position, and our future as Lissa's guardians. All reasons why he can't allow himself to become attached to me and how it made me love him that much more. Even now, I could understand and agree with him. We danced around each other, both knowing how the other felt but trying hard to ignore our own emotions. I even went so far as to try and distract myself with Mason, one of my closest friends from childhood, and Dimitri found a friend of his own.

The last few pages were filled with my heartbreak of watching Dimitri move on with someone else. Tasha Ozera. I can't blame him for falling for her. She's brave and beautiful from my description. She's sure of herself and Dimitri seems to open up to her in a way he wouldn't with me. I couldn't help but notice how much more open he is with me now than he seemed to be back then. I also couldn't help but notice that Dimitri hasn't mentioned Tasha once since I came back.

My mind races back to our conversation a few days ago, about the woman he said he loved and lost. Could Tasha be that woman? It was obvious that she liked him. She had offered him a new life, a family and children that I apparently couldn't give him because we were both dhampirs. Of course he would go with her.

The journal never told me one way or another though. It ended abruptly on Christmas day with the revelation of what Tasha had offered Dimitri. It was the day before we left for the Lodge, just a few days before the incident in Spokane.

I flipped through the journal again, rereading my own record. It only comprised a few months of my life, but there seemed to be so much pressed into that time that it was almost exhausting to comprehend. Eventually I stopped reading and just let the book rest next to me as I imagine all the stories in my mind, and slip from imagining into dreaming.

* * *

–  **DIMITRI –**

* * *

My feet were tired after my shift. Physical endurance was a big part of any novice's guardian training, but I still wholeheartedly maintained that standing at attention for hours on end was more tiring than patrols, training, or even combat.

The house was quiet, so I slipped in as silently as I could. Eddie had pulled patrol duty after the banquet, so I knew his room was empty tonight. Still, even with the others on the opposite side of the house, I didn't want to chance waking anyone this late at night. They had left a couple of hours ago before the banquet officially ended, but I had been scheduled to stay until everyone left.

I opened the door to my bedroom, ready to finally relax and get off my feet, when my heart stopped. Rose was asleep where I had left her hours ago, her head on my pillow and her journal clutched in her arms. She was still dressed in her formal gown, her hair falling from the elaborate hairstyle that it had been pinned into earlier.

She seemed so peaceful, I couldn't even bear the thought of waking her. I was certain that she would be more comfortable in her own bed, or in a pair of pajamas at the very least, but it was too much of a risk to move her.

Instead, I removed my jacket and tie, laying them over the back of the desk chair before unfolding the quilt at the end of my bed. I laid it over her, being sure to gently tug the book from her arms before covering her shoulders.

I should have stopped there, leaving as intended to spend the night on the couch in the living room so she could sleep, but I simply couldn't help myself. I brushed a stray tendril of hair that had fallen across her cheek, and tucked it behind her ear. The corners of her lips curved up in response and the sight only encouraged my unnaturally bold behavior. I knelt to the ground by her side, and placed a kiss softly against her temple.

"Sladkikh snov, moy Roza."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, remember a week or two ago when I posted my SECOND favorite chapter of this story and said that my number absolute favorite chapter was coming up? It's the next one. I've been waiting to share it with you guys for MONTHS and I really hope you all like it. Lets just say that it is stands unique among any other chapter I've written, and a primer for Shadow Kiss.
> 
> All that being said, I'm still pretty fond of this sweet scene too. What do you guys think Dimitri or Rose would do if they weren't guardians? And the journal! Could you even imagine reading about your past with fresh eyes? I couldn't imagine how overwhelming that would be.
> 
> The phrase that Dimitri says at the end translates to "Sweet Dreams" but is typically only used for those you are close to and care for.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I hope you are all ready for next week :) I sure am! Don't forget to subscribe and bookmark. I really do appreciate all the love and support you guys give me and it thrills me every time you share your thoughts with me so please feel free to comment!


	18. Chapter 18

**~ROSE~**

* * *

 

I felt as much as heard the whispered words against my cheek, drawing me out of sleep even though I didn't understand them. I didn't recognize where I was when I first opened my eyes, but the crisp scent of aftershave was familiar enough to remind me.

"Dimitri?"

The barely audible footsteps stopped, and I looked towards where they had ended. Dimitri looked exhausted, his hand on the door knob and still fully dressed in his uniform. Or almost fully dressed. His jacket and tie were missing.

He looked surprised to see me awake, and by the stiffness in my body when I sat up, I could tell it was late and I had probably been asleep for a while. He must have just gotten home from the banquet.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Oh, don't worry. I didn't mean to fall asleep." The last part of my sentence was lost in a yawn, making him smile.

"Go back to sleep, it's late." He turned as if to leave again and I realized that he intended to let me continue to sleep in his bed.

"I can go back to my room," I insisted, "this is your bed. I have no business taking it from you when I have a perfectly good one close by."

He didn't protest, and I would bet that while he didn't want to put me out, he would much rather sleep in his own bed than on the couch where I expect he was heading before I woke up. "At least let me help you to your room then."

I lifted the quilt that I didn't remember covering myself with and realized that I was still in the dress I had been wearing earlier. I must have been more tired than I thought if I had managed to fall asleep in this.

Dimitri stood next to me, holding out his hand to help me up, but the sight of my journal on the bedside table made me stop.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Tell you what?"

I looked at him pointedly. He knew what I was talking about. "Don't give me that. Why didn't you tell me about what happened between us at the academy?"

He sat down on the bed beside me with a sigh. "Honestly? I didn't know how to. When I found out that you couldn't remember anything, it seemed wrong to spring something like that on you. Between learning about who you were,  _what_  you are, everything and everyone you left behind, telling you about what had happened back then between you and I seemed...inappropriate. I didn't want to put any more pressure on you. You had enough to deal with."

"I see." He seemed to understand me and what I needed better than I even knew myself. I gave a halfhearted laugh as I continued, "I guess I should thank you for thinking of me like that. Everyone has been expecting so much from me, even unintentionally, it's nice to know that you were more worried about making me feel comfortable rather than forcing me to be someone I don't remember."

He seemed to relax a bit at my comment, like he had been worried that I would be upset at him. I guess I could understand why. I had been a bit peeved at first that he had kept something like this from me, especially since it seemed to be a fairly significant part of my past before I had forgotten everything. But as I read on, especially towards the end, I realized that perhaps part of the reason he never said anything was because as significant as my feelings for him must have been, neither of us really thought anything could come from it. We were both dedicated to a cause that would keep us apart. Or, we had been. I quickly remembered the last thing I had read before my journal suddenly ended, the night before we had left for the lodge.

"What happened to Tasha?"

He seemed confused by my question, or perhaps just shocked at what I had asked.

"Sorry. The journal ended fairly suddenly and I was just curious. Did you take her offer? Actually, you know what? It's none of my business. Forget that I said anything. I'm sorry." I was rambling, an unfortunate habit of mine when I was embarrassed or tired. At the moment, I was two for two.

"No."

The single word interrupted my thoughts, but not nearly as much as his warm hand covering mine. "Huh?"

"No. Nothing ever happened between Tasha and me."

"But why? In here, it sounded like it was a great opportunity for you. I made it sound like she could give you everything you wanted, including a family."

"She had a lot to offer, but she couldn't give me everything. Specifically, she couldn't give me the one thing that I truly wanted."

I bit my lip, trying to figure out what she didn't have that he could still want. It must have been something big for him to give up everything else.

"You, Roza. She would never be you. It took me a little while to come to terms with it, but none of that mattered if you weren't the one I was sharing it with." He flipped my hand in his so that it was now face up with his thumb stroking my palm. "I know this goes against everything I said earlier about not pressuring you, and I don't want you to think that I expect anything from it, but you should know the truth. I loved you Roza. I still do. I never stopped loving you."

Even after reading my entire history with him – minus a few days before I disappeared – I could honestly say that this was the last thing that I expected. Not once in my journal did I mention that Dimitri had loved me. I knew he cared for me, that he found me beautiful, even that he wanted to protect me. But never once did I say that he loved me. My guess was that he had never told me either. Dimitri had apparently never been one to voice his feelings, and the few times that he did were often said in a moment of desperation and then quickly followed by a lecture about how it didn't matter and that we couldn't be together. Even now, I was somewhat waiting for him to start in about how wrong a relationship would be between us.

He never did. He waited patiently for me to say something.

I knew how I had felt back then. While I had never used the term, I had been pretty sure that I was falling in love with him. I had never told him so outright, but I had written enough about how big of an impact he had on my life, it was easy to guess that it was true.

I thought about how odd I had felt after seeing him in one of my daydreams. No, not daydreams, when I had been pulled into Lissa's mind. I had always thought about him afterwards, and I could even count a few times where I felt a kind of longing to know more about him, to see him again. I could understand now why I had never reacted to him during the actual vision, but it made sense why his presence always stayed with me after they were over.

I thought about the way I felt with him now. I was safe with him. I felt cared for, protected. I felt respected and wanted. I felt wanted. I felt...loved.

"I think...maybe..." I started, fumbling over the words that I was still somewhat uncertain about. "I think I never stopped loving you either."

I didn't have a chance to explain myself further before a look of pure relief flushed across his features. It was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. My words also seemed to ignite something in him too. His free hand moved from the bedspread to my cheek, tilting my chin so that he could see me better, as if he was checking to see the truth of what I said in my eyes. Apparently satisfied that I wasn't lying to him, he leaned forward and his intent was clear. He hesitated, just long enough for me to stop him if I wanted to.

I didn't.

His lips felt warm and comfortable, almost familiar. I had to remind myself that they were probably familiar to me somewhere in my mind. This wasn't the first kiss between us, but it was the first one that I remembered. He was gentle, not pushing me towards anything like some guys had tried to before. However, for the first time, I actually felt the desire to see what else this could lead to.

In my head, it made no sense. I had dated a few men before, and while those short relationships had never really gone anywhere, I had certainly known them longer than a few weeks. I guess technically, I had also known Dimitri longer than that, but I didn't remember it. Did it still count? At the moment, I really couldn't care less.

My hands somehow found their way to him, running along the length of his forearm and bicep before coming to rest on his shoulders. I could feel the tips of his hair tickle against my skin, but it was only one in an alarming amount of sensations that were starting to overwhelm me.

I deepened the kiss, trying to ground myself and deciding that he was as solid and constant as anything else in my life. He didn't seem to object, and I soon felt him pressing closer to me and gathering me in his arms. His hand on my hip sent a shock through me, and I let out a small gasp.

He pulled away slightly, but even the brief separation was too much for me and I urged him back towards me. I had no doubt that he could pull away if he truly wanted to, but the groan he released as our tongues met made me think that he was enjoying this at least as much as I was.

Testing my theory, I started leaning back, almost expecting him to break away again. Instead, he followed me, using his arms to cradle my fall against the pillow before positioning himself above me.

I had seen him smile at me several times up until this point, but the look he gave me now blew everything else out of the water. It was as if he had always held something back before, because now his smile reached his eyes, and he looked at me with a something that I can only describe as reverence. The same way someone might stare in wonder at a miracle.

It made me feel special, like I belonged.

"Rose," he whispered. "My Roza."

His lips were on my jaw then, slowly working their way up before nipping my earlobe and earning a quick and completely unintentional thrust of my hips into his. He chuckled – yes, chuckled – at my reaction and did it once more before maneuvering his kisses down my neck and onto the collarbone left bare by my neckline. I suddenly felt confined by the dress I was wearing, ready to shed it and allow him total freedom to roam my entire body at his will.

I also felt the sudden desire to explore him in the same way. My fingers fumbled with his buttons, taking him by surprise. He didn't stop me though, just the opposite in fact. He helped, nimbly working the offending buttons, unfortunately popping the last one off completely when his impatience won over his self-control.

I wondered for a moment if my dress would also be sacrificed in our frantic goal, but he surprised me by standing and offering his hand to me. I took it, more out of curiosity than anything else, and he stunned me by turning me in a little spin, as if I was dancing with him. I ended facing away from him, his arm holding mine across my chest. His other hand held my hip, pressing me flush against him. I was pressed tight enough to him to feel everything.

"I can dance when the mood strikes me," he whispered, his thickly accented voice low enough to vibrate in my ear, "and if I have the right partner."

My head fell back against his shoulder and I swear that he was the only thing keeping me standing in that second. It ended quickly though as his hand released mine, trailing gently across the tops of my breasts before brushing the loose hair to one side. I felt his lips press against the hollow between my neck and my shoulder and his fingertips grazed the button clasp that closed the top of my dress.

When he paused again, I turned my head just enough to see him behind me. He almost looked ...nervous. He had seemed so confident since the day I met him, or rather, re-met him, and it was almost cute to see him a little shaken by me.

His eyes flicked away from the clasp of my dress, meeting my own in a silent question. I smiled, and a moment later the button released and he moved the material off my shoulders, kissing the skin he uncovered. His hands moved to the bottom of the exposed back, unzipping the final few inches that would allow me to fully undress for him, and I tried – and failed – to hold back a giggle when he tried to slyly graze his hand against my ass.

When he stepped away from me, I was worried that my unintentional laugh might have made him change his mind. I looked over my shoulder again, only to see him staring at me, waiting for something. I could feel the heat in his eyes on my skin and it made his desires clear.

I slipped my arms from the sleeves, letting the dress fall in a puddle at my feet. I knew the thin white lace of my boyshort panties wouldn't leave much to the imagination, but my dress hadn't really allowed for a proper bra and I was now topless. I held my arms in front of my chest protecting the last bit of my modesty as I turned to face him.

The look on his face was my new definition of shock and awe. I wasn't even sure if he was breathing. I bit at my bottom lip, hoping it would be enough to hold back another laugh. There was no hope for keeping my smile away.

His eyes slowly took in every inch of me. Unlike the creepy, almost possessive look that I was used to from some club patrons, his stare made me feel powerful. Like a goddess, almost. He looked ready to kneel before me in worship.

I had hardly let the thought pass through my mind when he sank to his knees. I automatically stepped back in surprise, and he gingerly picked up my dress and laid it carefully over his jacket on the chair behind him. It was such an oddly considerate gesture at a time like this, that I didn't notice that I had dropped my hands.

He noticed. The moment he turned back around, he let out a breathless whisper. It was so soft, I could barely hear it. I wasn't even sure if it was in English. It didn't matter. What did matter was that his lips were on mine again before I could take another breath.

Rather than the soft, almost shy kiss from before, this one was full of some desperate need. It was as if he was afraid I would suddenly disappear again. For all I knew, he was afraid of just that. Perhaps stranger still was that I felt the same sort of need towards him. He had spent years loving me, but I didn't even know him until a few weeks ago. I shouldn't want him this much, need him this much. But I guess I had always had in a strange sort of way, from the first time I had apparently met him on the streets of Portland. I just never remembered it.

I felt the sensation of spinning and falling, and I realized Dimitri had pulled us back onto the bed with me laying on top of his chest. I could feel the warmth of his skin on mine and the gentle flex of his muscles underneath me. There was such a strange contradiction about him. He was incredibly strong, a trained and proven killer, but you would never know it by the way he held me now. The same way you would never expect someone so tall and imposing to have the grace of a dancer when he moved.

I guess someone would call me just as clashing. Apparently I was a trained and proven killer as well, tutored by the demigod beneath me. But my strength was hidden beneath long hair and a pretty smile. I was often underestimated because most people thought the most dangerous thing about me was my curves. Nobody would underestimate Dimitri. He looked as lethal as he actually was. It made me realize that seeing him like this, affectionate and completely open, was probably something that few had ever really seen.

Never one to allow debt to go unpaid, I wanted to share with him something just as personal and special. I sat up, straddling his legs and getting an incredible view of the half-naked man. I smirked, thinking that there was still a bit more clothing on him than necessary. I ran my hands down his abs, causing a strangled breath from him before I unbuttoned his slacks. I could see him silently struggling to maintain his control as I teased him, so I continued to play with him by slowly undoing his zipper. He seemed to be holding on until I pressed my palm against the obvious budge beneath the cloth.

He let out a low groan, perhaps more of a growl than anything, and flipped me over to pin me beneath him as easily as he did on the practice mats. Not that I put up a fight. His pants and whatever was beneath was quickly removed and he didn't waste any time getting back at me for my playful tormenting earlier.

His cupped one of my breasts, gently squeezing as his thumb flicked my bare nipple. It caused an instant reaction from me. My back arched and into his touch, wordlessly begging for more. He didn't disappoint. His mouth showed just as much attention to the other breast, using his tongue to swirl around the peak or gently nipping at me with his teeth.

It felt amazing. I'm sure there had to be a more inspiring word, but at that moment, my mind was incapable of thinking it. My fingers ran through his hair and held in in place where I wanted him, but it didn't last long when his lips traced a path of kisses from my heart, up my neck, and to my mouth.

"Roza." His accent was much more pronounced now. "This feels amazing but..." he kissed my left eye, "...we don't have to..." they moved over to my right eye and paused again, "...I don't want to pressure you..." his nose brushed mine as he offered a gentle peck against my lips "...Maybe we should..."

I pulled back from him just enough to see his eyes, much darker now than they had been a few hours – hell, a few minutes – ago. "Dimitri, shhh. I want to. I want you."

This seemed to be enough to satisfy him. His lips were on my throat once more as his hand snaked between us. His fingertips gently brushed between my thighs and my head fell back in ecstasy. It was a momentary touch but I knew I needed him there again immediately. Perhaps he understood that need because his fingers were tracing my folds a second later. The initial friction of his fingers faded into a smooth bliss as he spread my own wetness through each crevices.

When I felt him brush against my apex, the sensation overwhelmed me and I bit down to keep from crying out. It wasn't enough to draw blood, but there would probably be a mark on Dimitri's shoulder for the rest of the night. It did nothing to dissuade him though. If anything, he became more eager in his ministrations, bringing me nearly to the edge of the cliff with nothing more than his right hand.

"Please, Dimitri." The man had me begging for sweet relief.

He pulled out of my embrace, slowing my rapid crash course towards completion and causing me to shoot him a little pout for it. He smiled.

"Anything...everything...for you."

My heart melted with his promise. True to his word, he sat back, widening the space between my legs and settling himself there. I could feel him pressed against my center, and my heart raced in anticipation. There was a bit of nervousness there too, but it couldn't be overshadowed by my need for him. That need was reflected in his eyes.

Despite the passion racing between us, Dimitri paused just to stare at me. He had a look of pure love in his smile as he brushed his hand against my cheek. I turned to kiss his palm, unwilling to lose any opportunity to have my lips pressed against his skin. He indulged my need by lowering his lips to mine, and in the midst of his kiss I felt him press into me.

There was a small pinch of pain and even though it wasn't much, there must have been some sort of reaction that he was able to pick up on because he broke his mouth from mine sharply, making me miss it immediately.

"Roza," his voice was husky, but still concerned, "you're...why didn't you tell me?"

I laughed, I didn't mean to, but my mind wasn't completely my own at this moment. "Honestly, I wasn't totally sure myself. Not until I read the journal. Does it matter?"

"No...yes...I mean..." It was somewhat endearing so see him so flustered. "I knew you were...before... but I just assumed that... I don't know..."

"That I wouldn't be 20 and still a virgin?"

He seemed taken aback by my bluntness but gave into the truth. "Is that horrible? You mentioned boyfriends in your past, I guess I figured that you would have gotten close to them."

"You had no reason to assume I was a virgin, Dimitri. Don't worry about it. I had boyfriends before, but none of those relationships were very deep. Nothing worth more than the occasional kiss."

I was trying to reassure him, but my words seemed to set him more on edge. "Why me?"

"I'm not entirely sure, to be honest." I knew it wasn't the answer he was hoping for, but I didn't want to lie to him. "All I know is that right now, I want to be with you." To emphasize my point, I raised my hips and causing him to trust gently into me. Any passion lost to our brief conversation swelled again within seconds.

Dimitri let out a low growl and tucked his head into my collarbone, peppering kisses up and down my throat and occasionally giving a small bite that made me squirm underneath him. His rhythmic rocking created a background of creaking springs to accompany the soft moans from me and his own deep groans.

My hands ran through his hair, fisting it to hold him close when his lips found a particularly sensitive spot behind my earlobe. I could feel the smile on his lips as he explored my body with his hands, mouth, and more.

I was completely lost in the moment, begging for climax yet wishing the experience could last forever. I was clueless as to how much time had passed. Time was no longer made up in seconds, minutes, or hours, but in kisses, touches, and sighs. There were a whole lot of all three, to be sure.

Finally, when I was sure that the sun had set on eternity, I felt our steady rhythm change. My heart beat faster as Dimitri's thrust became ever so slightly frantic. His previously controlled breaths started turning into warm pants against my skin. My own moans, once low and sensual, were now rising in pitch and intensity as I succumbed to him.

All it took was a single phrase from him for me to fall completely off the edge. Three words, spoken not like a command, but a plea.

"Roza. Come with me."

My body suddenly was made of energy, pulsing in time with our heartbeats. Lights seemed to dance in front of my eyes and my uncontrolled final cry was captured by his mouth over mine. His own release seemed to sooth my fire, bringing me gently down from my powerful high.

We clutched one another, allowing our breathing to slowly return to normal as our bodies recovered. My face was buried in his strong chest while his lips planted small kisses in my hair. Finally, he looked down and met my eyes. There was something there, something that I couldn't recognize, but the intensity of it was enough to cause butterflies to flutter in my stomach. It was soft and sweet, but it also scared me in a way that I had never experienced.

Without a word, he shifted off me and the bed entirely. I was too tired to even protest his sudden absence. I watched him walk through the door of his ensuite bathroom and closed my eyes. I could hear the sound of running water. I could smell the musky scent of what had just happened between us. I could even feel the cool air blowing against the thin layer of sweat that seemed to be covering my entire body. Overall, I felt a sense of calm and peace. For one second, in a lifetime of events that I could and couldn't remember, I felt like everything was perfectly right in my world.

"Here." His voice was still rich and low and I peeked through my eyelashes to see him standing next to me with a small white washcloth.

I gave a small nod, expecting him to hand it to me, but instead he surprised me and gently reached down to clean me himself. The warm cloth felt a bit rough against my tender flesh. When he pulled it away, I saw a slight tinge of pink.

"There's a little blood," he stated, concern lacing his words. "Does it hurt?"

"A bit sore," I confided, "but no more than any other work out you've given me recently."

He looked at me, raising a single eyebrow and I winked, earning small but precious laugh. I was learning rather quickly that he didn't do so often, so I treasured the sound each time I heard it.

Dimitri tossed the used cloth back into a small hamper and pulled a pair of fresh boxers from his dresser. I watched unabashedly as he slipped them on before pulling out a tee shirt. He raised it in my direction like an offering. "Would you like something?"

I shook my head side to side. "Nope. Too tired."

Another full grin graced his features, much to my delight. The shirt remained on top of his dresser as he settled on the other side of the bed, pulling me close before covering us with the same quilt that I had been sleeping under earlier. I felt him tracing idle patterns against my skin, lulling my into what promised to be sweet dreams, when he whispered in my ear.

"I missed you, Roza."

And like that, everything came crashing down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it is written...my very first sex scene! Or "intimate moment" if you prefer. I think Dimitri and Rose needed something sweet and passionate rather than super hot and heavy. Either way, this was a HUGE step for me because I'm pretty conservative when it comes to this stuff. I couldn't even READ sexy scenes until a few years ago, so actually writing and publishing one? Inconceivable. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't...please be nice. If you did, please let me know in the comments. You guys are absolutely amazing and I appreciate all your love and encouragement. Favorite, follow, review and share! Thank you so much and I'll see you next week!


	19. Chapter 19

–  ** DIMITRI – **

* * *

 

Last night was better than I ever could have imagined, and I had tried to do so quite often. There were millions of different 'what if' scenarios and regrets throughout the years, but all of them were dispelled in an instant after what happened last night.

I looked down at the sleeping woman beside me. She was still completely naked and it only made her tuck closer to me for warmth under the sheets. I didn't mind it at all. My fingers brushed against her bare skin, savoring something that I never thought I'd have a chance too, even after we found her in Las Vegas. As I reached over to brush the hair from her face, she started to stir.

"Good morning, Beautiful," I whispered, watching her eyes start to flutter open.

Rose startled slightly when she saw I was awake. "Oh. Hmm. Morning." Her voice was still filled with sleep as she pulled away, stretching her tired muscles and working the kinks from her neck and shoulders.

My eyes flashed from her face to body. I wasn't intending to stare, but the sight of her still left me in awe. She was gorgeous, and last night...she was mine. I still couldn't believe it. When I met her gaze again, it was clear that she had caught my distraction. I expected a sarcastic comment about my less than subtle behavior, but it never came.

Instead, she wrapped one of the loose blankets around her, effectively shielding her body from view. I allowed her sudden sense of modesty without question. I remembered that this was a new experience for her, and even if it wasn't, she was entitled to some shyness and privacy.

I couldn't take it any longer. She was stunning, her hair in slight disarray and a small love bite on her neck where I had been a tad overzealous with my affection. I cupped her cheek in my hand, gently pulling her in for a kiss.

Instead of her lips, I was met with resistance.

"Morning breath," she declared, as if it might offend me.

I hummed my acknowledgment but countered her argument. "I don't care." If she wasn't coming to me, I'd go to her. I leaned in, only to be stopped by a finger to my lips.

"I do."

I shrugged it off, chalking it up to one of her unique quirks before stepping out of bed to brush my teeth. I was eager to kiss her and if this is what she needed before that could happen, then I wasn't going to waste any time.

I peeked at her while walking past, curious to see if she would check me out while I was practically naked. I had caught her taking a lingering look several times before, both at the Academy and more recently, but had never called her out on it. Strangely, she was doing the exact opposite right now; she was purposefully looking anywhere but me. I never took Roza to be so shy, especially since she was typically so outgoing, but I was grateful that I was getting to see a side of her that nobody had ever seen before.

A few minutes later, I opened the bathroom door again to see Rose pulling one of my tee shirts on. It was the same one I had pulled out for her last night and she had turned down.

"So, what do you say I make us some breakfast? It's still early, and the others are probably still sleeping, but I make some pancakes that even beat Christian's..."

"No..."

"No? Okay. How about a run? We usually did that before eating anyways. There's a great trail I haven't shown you yet and..."

"Dimitri..."

"...It should only take about 45 minutes to make the full loop. Then I'll make you anything you want to eat. I don't have a shift until this afternoon."

"Dimitri!"

It was her tone that finally broke through to me. One look at her face and I could tell something was wrong. I didn't even have time to brace for impact before her next words came like a punch to my gut.

"Last night was a mistake."

"What?" I was standing there like an idiot, left practically breathless and trying to grasp what she was telling me.

"Last night...it shouldn't have happened."

"Last night was the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life, Roza. I thought...I thought you wanted it too."

She shook her head at me. It wasn't a response but frustration building up in her as she tried to hold back her emotions. "I did. Dimitri...last night felt wonderful. You were wonderful. But..."

"But what?"

"But it wasn't fair to you."

 _Fair to me? What was she talking about?_ "I don't understand. Roza, I..."

"I'm  _not_  your Roza," her voice was suddenly firm, commanding even. It was enough stop me where I stood. Her features softened a bit at my reaction, but she didn't lose her determination. "I'm not your Roza, Dimitri. I may look like her. I may sound like her. Hell, I may even act like her on occasion. But she is  _gone,_ Dimitri. Gone. She as good as died that night because try as I might, I will never be her. I'm done pretending to be someone I'm not."

I was in stunned silence, trying to process what she was telling me but coming up short.

When tears started to shimmer in her eyes, all I could think to do was hold her, but before I could make a move, she began to push past me.

"I'm sorry. I'm leaving after the wedding. I'm so sorry."

I caught her hand in desperation, not ready to give up on her. "Rose. Please. I love you."

She looked back, with fire in her eyes and tears on her cheeks. "No, Dimitri. You're in love with a memory, a memory that I don't have."

And just like that, she walked out of my room and closed the door behind her.

* * *

** ~ ROSE ~ **

* * *

 

The look on his face. That look will always be burned in my memory. Actually, both looks. The one where I knew he loved me, and the one where I told him it was a mistake to do so.

Tears were already burning their salty path down my cheeks, making my vision blurry as I tried to get to my room. I was wearing nothing but Dimitri's shirt. It was long enough to cover me, but I wanted to be out of it as soon as possible. It smelled like him.

I realized that I had left my dress in the Dimitri's bedroom, still folded over the desk chair. I would find some way of getting it later. I'd return his shirt to him. Or maybe I'd keep his shirt. I wondered if he would mind me stealing a little token from what had easily been the best night that I could ever remember.

I was trying to get up the stairs as quietly as possible, so I wouldn't wake anyone else in the house, when I missed the last step and fell, just barely catching myself on my hands and knees.

"Rose?" I heard some shuffling as Eddie whispered from down the hall. I tried to duck into my room before he saw me but right before I reached the safe haven, his eyes locked onto mine. He didn't say anything but I knew that his guardian instincts were taking in everything from my clothing to my expression. He probably knew everything that had happened in the last 12 hours with only a glance. I fumbled with the knob, finally opening the door and slamming it behind me.

Once alone, I sank to the floor with my back to the door. I could hear Eddie quietly pausing by the door before walking by and I was thankful he didn't investigate further.

What the hell was I doing? What the hell did I do!? Oh dear God, I slept with Dimitri and it was...everything I could have ever hoped for. It was more than I had ever hoped for. My head fell into my hands, the heel of my palm pressing into my eyes in a desperate attempt to not think the words that were already swirling in my mind.

_I was in love with him...and he was in love with her._

It would be so much easier if he was pining for another woman, but no, Dimitri was pining for another version of me. He was longing for a woman that didn't exist anymore. He said it himself. He  _missed_  her. He missed  _his_ Roza. And he was confusing her with me.

I had been a poor stand in for the girl that he had been pining for several years now. The one he had fond memories of and a desperate hoped to get back. Could I really blame him for latching on to the closest thing to her?

No. I couldn't hold that against him. I should have known better than to get so attached to him. I came here to learn about my past, not fall for someone. I had been stupid to get attached to Dimitri or any of them. They were looking for a girl who was gone. I had no place here.

Looking at the clock, it was about 9pm. The beginning of the vampiric day, but still early evening back in Las Vegas. I had left my phone in my room rather than bringing it to the banquet yesterday and it was still charging on my nightstand rather than being held hostage with my purse in Dimitri's room. Pulling the cord out, I called the first number on my favorites list.

Marie should be up and about right now. She would probably have work in a few hours, but at the moment she was probably just running errands and going about her normal life. For a moment, I envied her. As much as I hated not remembering nearly two decades of my life, at least my time in Vegas was considered routine in comparison to everything now.

The phone was answered on the third ring. "Hey you! How's everything going?"

I forced a smile and tried to sound like I hadn't been in full meltdown sobbing just a few minutes ago. "I'm doing...alright. I'm coming home though."

"Really?" Marie seemed genuinely surprised. "I mean, I'd love to have you back and everything – I miss you like crazy – but it seemed like you were enjoying things there. Did something happen?"

Yeah...something. That was one way to put it. Another way might have been to say that I had willingly put myself out there and ended up crushed by a guy who was completely amazing but couldn't get over his ex. An ex who just happened to look exactly like me. Not that he had hurt me on purpose. He had actually made me feel completely loved and gave me a sense of belonging for once in my life. That just made the whole situation more painful though. I might have had sex with him last night, but I still wasn't sure just who he thought he had been with. So yeah...something happened.

"It was a long night, that's all." Even the summary would have been too much to say.

Going into her Mama Bear protective mode, I heard an edge cut into her words. "What happened, Ivy? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, no. I'm fine now. I promise. I'm just not cut out for it here. I figured out who I am and now I'm ready to come home."

"You sure? How are things with Dimitri?"

I choked out a sharp laugh.

"Woah. Wrong topic apparently."

"Well it isn't the best right now," I quipped back. "I'll give you the low down after I process everything. I promise. I just have to get through the bachelorette party tonight and the wedding tomorrow, then I'll be on the next flight back to Vegas. You think I can get my old job back?"

"You kidding? You haven't even used your entire vacation time and even if you had, all you would have to do is bat your eyes at Jason and you'd be back in business."

I rolled my eyes, even though she couldn't see me. She wasn't wrong. I may not have had the greatest life before all this madness, but at least in Vegas I knew what to expect from the people around me. I would be happy to leave all this vampire business behind.

* * *

–  **DIMITRI –**

* * *

 

I threw open my door but she was already gone. I was about to chase after her when Eddie appeared. By the way he kept glancing behind him with a concerned expression on his face, he must have seen Rose in her desperate escape from me. When he turned back and saw me standing in the middle of the hallway, he cocked an eyebrow.

"Well, that explains a few things..." He remarked.

I spared him the briefest look before straining to see around him. "What?"

"Why Rose was wearing nothing more than an oversized shirt with Cyrillic writing. Compared to you, she's practically overdressed."

I looked down and saw that I was still dressed in nothing more than my underwear. I let out a curse and retreated into my room to grab a little more clothing while contemplating what to do next. Of course, Eddie followed me.

"What I don't understand, Belikov, is why she looked like she was barely keeping a breakdown at bay."

My head snapped to him in question as I finished buttoning my jeans.

Rose may not have any biological siblings, but Eddie was just as protective of her as I was with my own sisters. "I swear, if you hurt her -"

"I didn't! I mean...I didn't mean to. I – I don't know what happened, Eddie. Last night was fantastic."

Eddie held up his hand, clearly asking me to spare him the details, not that I had intended to share any of those private intimacies with anyone else.

"You obviously know what happened. It was mutual, I swear. Everything was perfect last night, but this morning...this morning was a complete one-eighty. I don't understand what happened. What changed? She said..."  _what did she say? It had happened so fast,_  "it was something about not being the girl I remembered. That it wasn't fair to me. What did she mean?" The last question wasn't directly meant for him, but he answered anyways.

"I'm not sure, man. I don't know what to tell you. You need to talk to her to understand that." He stepped closer, crossing the threshold of my room and placing a hand on my shoulder. "I can tell you that there's something between you two, despite everything that's happened. Don't let that fade away without a fight."

I looked at him blankly. His advice was all well and good, but without a plan it was useless.

"She says that she's leaving, Eddie. Right after the wedding. She's going back and I think it's all my fault. I just don't understand what I did to push her away."

Eddie sighed and glanced heavenward at the news that Rose wouldn't be staying with us much longer. I knew he needed her in his life too and I felt a small wave of guilt that whatever I had done would cause him pain too. Eddie, Lissa, Christian, Adrian...everyone. They all cared about her and we were all so much happier to have her back in our lives and now, because of my stupidity, she would be gone again.

After a moment, Eddie looked back towards me. "Give her some space, Dimitri. No matter what happened between you guys last night, Rose has a million and a half reasons to leave. I'm sure it's not your fault. To be perfectly honest, maybe it would be better if she went back to Las Vegas. No, hear me out -" he said, cutting off my protests, "a guardian's life sucks. We never say it but we both know that it's true. Maybe it would be better for her to live her life on her own terms. Let's face it, you and I were never even given that option."

I'd known Eddie for years now, and he had never once expressed any displeasure at the guardian lifestyle. I knew there had to be some things that he wasn't thrilled with, but seeing the bitterness as he suggested Rose was better off in the outside world, I knew that there was much more brewing beneath the surface. I also didn't disagree with him. As much as I hated to admit it, maybe Rose would be better off without being stuck in this world and subject to its toxic culture.

"Just...think about it Dimitri. What does this life offer her anyway? She can't even be a guardian without her training. She'll be treated horribly here, and what happened at the banquet was just one example of that. We both know Rose deserves better. I can let her go for her own sake...can you? Do you love her enough to let her go?"

Eddie gave me a long hard stare, one that daring me to look away or give him the answer we both knew was correct. I was the lead in this guardian partnership, and nine times out of ten, Eddie deferred to me and my judgment. However, the times that he protested, the times that he challenged me, I knew to listen. Like Rose, Eddie had good instincts and I had learned to trust him as much as he trusted me.

I couldn't say it though. Even though I knew it was right, I couldn't say that she needed to leave. I felt like I needed her to stay, as selfish as it was. Instead, I nodded silently, and pushed past him. I needed to take my mind off of everything and there was only one thing that I could think of right now. Even the gym would be a poor distraction, but it was better than thinking at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it wasn't what many of you were hoping for, but while Romitri sex is magical, it doesn't automatically restore memories. That would be something now, wouldn't it? So what do you think this new change will bring? Both Rose and Dimitri are stuck in a pretty difficult situation. And poor Eddie seems like he isn't quite as happy as he seems.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the update and thank you so much for all the kind words last week. I'm so grateful for the love and support of my readers. You keep me going when times are tough. Thanks and see you next week!


	20. Chapter 20

** ~ROSE~ **

I delayed the inevitable as long as I could. I took a long shower, blew out my hair and curled the ends, and even added a rare dusting of make-up. Anything to keep me in my room for as long as possible. Eventually though, I ran out of excuses and the need to eat something trumped my total fear of facing Dimitri and the others.

I walked slowly down the stairs, forgetting the final creaky one and announcing my presence with a loud wooden squeak. I winced as three sets of eyes landed on me.

"I see you took your time this morning," smiled Lissa. There was no accusation in her voice, no question, and it took me a moment to realize that she had no idea what had happened.

Christian also seemed oblivious as he flipped pancakes and set a stack at one of the open seats. "Saved you some. There's some butter and syrup on the table."

I wondered (and then quickly  _stopped_ wondering) about Dimitri's claim about his pancakes being better than Christian's as I sat in front of my plate. "Got any peanut butter?"

"You and Dimitri sure are an odd couple..."

I jumped at the accusation and whipped my head over at Christian.

He was shaking his head and laughing as he pulled a red lidded jar from the pantry. "He likes his pancakes with jam, and you like peanut butter. Seriously, can't you two just eat them like normal people?"

I was just beginning to relax, realizing that it was just an absent minded comment rather than an actual observation when another voice made me startle again. A deep, accented voice that could cut me to the soul.

"I told you many times Christian..."

I avoided looking at him as he entered from the hall. I couldn't stand to see how he would look at me. Instead, I focused on my slathering my pancakes in nutty goodness as if it was the most labor intensive thing in the world and demanded my total focus.

"It's how we eat them in Russia," Christian cut him off, mocking his accent and lowering his voice an octave or so before returning to his normal pitch. "I know, I know. Here's your jam, Belikov. I still don't know what Rose's excuse is."

"Thank you. And Rose doesn't need to explain herself. She's free to do whatever she wishes." The words were innocent enough, but one quick glance confirmed the hidden message to me. I went back to avoiding Dimitri's eyes as soon as he sat down across from me.

Dimitri and I both ate in silence, listening to the chatter from others around us. Perhaps the quiet act wasn't so unusual for Dimitri, but I knew someone would start questioning my sudden lack of conversation skills before too long.

Sure enough, as Lissa was going over final plans for the bachelorette party this afternoon, Eddie leaned over and whispered to me.

"Are you okay? You seemed...shaken...this morning."

"Yeah, I'm okay now. I'm sorry for shutting you out earlier."

"Don't worry, Dimitri told me that you had an interesting night. It makes sense that you might be thinking a few things over this morning. Just remember that I'm here if you need me." I felt his hand gently touch mine under the table. It wasn't a romantic gesture at all, just one of comfort and sympathy.

I wasn't sure what Dimitri had told him. It was equally as likely that he told him the truth or made up a plausible story to help us both save face. If I had to guess though, Eddie knew the truth. I had been nearly naked this morning, and it wouldn't have taken much to jump to the obvious conclusion.

"Thanks Eddie."

"So what are you boys going to do while Rose and I are at the spa with the other girls?"

"Well, I don't know about Belikov here, but Eddie has graciously offered to help me prepare a special surprise for the bride to be." I envied the look of complete and certain love as Christian look at Liss.

She wrinkled her nose in reply. "You still aren't going to give me any hints, are you?"

"Nope," Christian offered smugly, "You'll just have to wait until we get to the bridal suite tomorrow evening."

"It better be worth it, Lord Ozera."

"You know it, Princess Dragomir."

I looked towards Eddie and mimicked a gagging gesture as he over dramatically rolled his eyes back to me. The way those two lovebirds used their royal titles like pet names was almost sickeningly sweet.

"I'll also need to pick up my Aunt from the air strip tonight."

"I can get Tasha if you need me to."

My eyes involuntarily snapped towards Dimitri as he offered to pick up the woman I had read about last night. The woman who had offered so much to him and he had rejected. I wondered if he would reconsider her offer now.

"That would be great. You can bring her to the spa if she's up for it," Lissa suggested. "She won't be arriving in time to spend the whole evening with us, but she could probably fit in a manicure."

Great. It looked like this spa day was just getting less and less relaxing as the morning wore on. I wasn't quite finished with my late breakfast, but I was ready to go hit the track. "Excuse me, I think I'd like to get a run in before the party gets started."

Dimitri automatically stood as well. "I'll go with you."

"No!" Lissa and Christian looked at me with an odd expression at my abrupt rejection. Dimitri had been training with me every day for nearly a week now, and suddenly putting a stop to it must have seemed off. I calmed myself and tried to fix the situation. "I mean, no, but thank you. It looks like you've been out already and I think it would be nice to have some alone time this morning. You understand, right?"

A brief flash of disappointment flashed in Dimitri's eyes, but his face stayed otherwise neutral. "Yes, of course. Enjoy your run."

I was already making my way towards the stairs before Dimitri sat down again. I could hear Christian's voice as I was about half way up. "Is she okay? She's been acting strange all morning."

"Yeah. She'll be okay," Eddie reassured. "She's probably still shaken up from everything that happened last night."

"I still can't believe that man had the gall to try and take advantage of her." Lissa spoke with a fierce passion. "There has to be a way to put an end to instances like these. I know it won't happen overnight, but surely something can be done to change the general view of dhampirs, especially female dhampirs. There was no excuse for what happened."

I was out of earshot before hearing anyone else's reply.

–  **DIMITRI –**

I had way too much time to think today. Typically, I didn't mind being lost in my own mind, but today it was pure torture. When I wasn't feeling guilty for how things currently stood between Rose and me, I was trying (and failing) to come up with some sort of way to repair any form of our relationship. At this point, I would settle for nearly anything better than the awkward near-strangers that tried not to make eye contact.

To top off everything, I would occasionally find myself remembering moments from last night. The way she said my name, the feel of her skin on my lips, the way she made me feel like I was finally the man that I was meant to be. I knew it was deplorable to be relishing those stolen moments when they obviously upset her, but I don't think I could bear to banish them from my mind, especially when I sincerely doubted I'd ever have the chance to make a new memory with her.

Eventually, I found myself at the Court air strip. Tasha's flight was a few minutes late, but I could already see it circling in for a landing. My hand automatically went to the back of my neck to work some of the growing tension there. It would be awkward to see Tasha again. Our friendship had severely crashed against the rocks when we had our argument over Rose's disappearance, but she deserved to be here for her nephew's wedding and I was willing to call a truce to our differences so she could enjoy it.

When she exited the plane, she was obviously surprised to see me waiting for her. "Dimitri? I wasn't expecting you."

"Well, Christian is working on something for Lissa, and Lissa is at her bachelorette party, so I thought I'd help out a little. I'm supposed to bring you to the spa to meet up with the rest of the women. If you're feeling up to it, that is."

She seemed to relax a little, perhaps noting my attempt at being civil. "A spa day sounds wonderful to be honest. Let's just drop off my bags and I can head over."

"I'll bring your bags to guest housing, don't worry. You're here to enjoy the weekend."

Tasha gave me a tight smile, one that showed just how much our easy going friendship had taken a turn for the worse, and threw her purse over her shoulder. I had already grabbed her luggage and she didn't try to protest. A few minutes into our incredibly quiet walk back, I figured I should say something.

"So," I stared awkwardly "just so you know, we found Rose."

Tasha stopped walking, falling behind me a few steps. "You found Rose? Where was she? Is she alright?" I wasn't sure what I was expecting from her, but it certainly wasn't to be so interested. However, she seemed nearly as excited as the rest of us were when we had brought Rose home.

"Yes, we found her a few weeks ago in Las Vegas. She's alright for the most part, but she suffered a psychological injury shortly after her escape and lost pretty much every memory she had. She didn't even know her own name, which is one reason why it was so difficult to locate her. She was going by Ivy."

"So she didn't remember anything? Not even Vasilisa?" Her eyes were wide open, almost disbelieving but with a heavy dose of pity for Rose as well.

"No. She thought the visions through the bond were vivid daydreams; a side effect of her injury. She didn't even realize that she was a dhampir. It was quite a shock to say the least. She's been adjusting well but..." I couldn't even finish the sentence.

"But..." of course Tasha would press me.

"But she's not staying. She's returning to Las Vegas after the wedding."

Suddenly the pity that Tasha had been reserving for Rose was turned on me. "Oh, Dimka. I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. Truly. It's probably best for her anyways." I was trying hard to keep my voice even but inside I wanted to scream, cry, and possibly hit something as well.

"Did you..." Tasha ventured, hesitating a moment before continuing, "Did you tell her about your past together?"

I nodded.

"And..."

"And it didn't matter. Honestly, I screwed it up. But, like I said earlier, it's better this way. She deserves better than this life." I was parroting the same words that she had told me years ago. "She deserves a life of freedom. That was limited as a guardian, but as an unpromised dhampir woman...it would be nearly impossible."

I felt Tasha's hand brush my arm. I automatically flinched, still somewhat expecting the incessant flirtation that had broken our friendship, but found only a comforting and sympathetic smile.

"I'm sorry, Dimitri. Really, I am," She whispered. "I know that you cared for her greatly. I can see that you still love her. Trust me, I know how much something like this can hurt. But Rose has changed, for better or for worse, and she's not the same girl. That doesn't mean that she isn't still a wonderful person who deserves your love, but are you in love with your Roza who you lost...or have you fallen in love with this new woman?"

I looked at her baffled as her words washed over me. I didn't understand. Rose was Rose. She still had the same sarcastic humor, the same passionate dedication, and she even fought with the same moves that I had taught her myself. But Roza's words from that morning came back to me. She kept saying that she wasn't my Roza; she wasn't the girl I remember because _she_  couldn't remember that girl.

As I dropped off Tasha and took her bags to the guest housing, I became more and more fixed upon the thought that Tasha had offered. I was so cautious about not pressuring Rose to pick up where we had left off in our relationship back at the Academy, it never really crossed my mind that she simply couldn't because she wasn't that person anymore. A person is made up of their life experiences. Are they the same person if they don't have the same experiences? If not...

I rubbed at my temple, trying to work out the headache that was forming behind my eyes. I couldn't even begin to understand where to go from here. Mine and Roza's relationship had never been conventional, but this was beyond anything I could have imagined.

** ~ROSE~ **

It had been a long time since I had been treated to a manicure or pedicure. I always ended up chipping the polish on my fingernails within a day or two so I stopped bothering with them all together. Lissa had insisted on doing gel nails for everyone, in a simple French manicure before the wedding, but since we were wearing closed toed shoes, I was free to paint my toes any crazy color I wished. My choice: bright orange. The fact that it seemed to clash with everything else around it felt somewhat poetic.

The final coat of polish was going on my toes when someone new entered the spa. I took a double take of the woman, nearly spitting out my champagne. I knew who it was in an instant. My journal had described her fairly well, but even that couldn't quite prepare me for the sudden sight of Natasha Ozera. The large purple scar ran a jagged line down her cheek, and while she was otherwise stunning with black hair and ice blue eyes that seemed to be an Ozera family trait, her scar was a fairly defining trait that was hard to overlook. Thankfully, it seemed like I was able to hide my sudden shock while Lissa greeted her warmly.

The pair seemed to have a good relationship, which was all well and good seeing how she was pretty much the only family between both Lissa and Christian. I knew how hard it was to not have a family and I didn't wish that on anyone. Even though I had recently learned about my barely there mother and absentee father, and could even say that I was trying (and honestly failing) to build a small relationship with them, I knew that I wouldn't trade that struggle for the empty feeling of being truly alone. A broken family is better than no family at all.

Eventually Tasha caught sight of me.

"Rose! Dimka mentioned that you were back. I'm so glad that you are well." Her sincere joy threw me for a loop. Even though my journal made it clear that I had admired Tasha for many reasons, I also saw her as my main competition for Dimitri's affections and resented her for it. Seeing how he had refused her even  _after_ I was out of the picture, I assumed that she would be a little bitter towards me as well.

"Thank you. It's been nice to be back." I tried to match her enthusiasm but between my confusion and the vague overstatement, I think it fell flat. If she noticed, she ignored it. I allowed her to embrace me quickly before Lissa encouraged her to get her nails done as well.

The two immediately started speaking about politics and I rolled my eyes. Dimitri had mentioned how Tasha had been integral to the building and passing the motion that allowed Moroi to learn to defend themselves with their magic. Christian now taught magical defense classes at Court, and Tasha was working towards the next logical step of using their magic offensively to help fight alongside their guardians. According to Dimitri, it was going to take a whole lot more effort to bring the Council around to the idea.

When my toes were finally dry, I took the seat at the table on the other side of Lissa and presented my nails to the man sitting across from me. It took me a moment to realize just how attractive he was. His skin was practically golden and his nearly black curls gave him this look that was both youthful and yet inspired thoughts that certainly weren't suitable for children. It didn't help that the scruff on his jaw was perfectly groomed to make the best of his chiseled features. He was fairly fit too, at least from what I could tell from the tight white polo with the spa's logo. While he wasn't Dimitri by any means, he certainly wasn't a bad second when it came to appearances.

"Good afternoon, Beautiful." His smile could end a war, I swear. "Gel nails like the others in the bridal party, correct?"

"Yes. Please. Thank you. And, please call me Rose." While I appreciated his idle flirtation (we both came from professions where it was highly encouraged) it was a little too sugar coated for even me.

"Whatever you'd like, Rose. I'm Ambrose." He winked and shook my hand before inspecting them.

I cringed a little, knowing that he would probably see them as very under nurtured. He had the grace to not say anything about it though. He got to work filing and whatnot as the conversation next to me caught my interest again.

"The way Dhampirs are treated is deplorable. We've known this for years, but we haven't really done anything to rectify the situation." I could hear the passion in Tasha's voice and instantly knew why she was a prime vehicle for change around here.

"I agree with you Tasha, and I assure you that I've brought your concerns up to the Council more than once, but I need a concrete idea on what can be done about it. My voice means little to them right now, so anything too grand gets thrown out immediately. However, if we could find something small that can get the ball rolling, well I'm sure that I could get Tatiana to back it. The rest of the Council won't go against her."

"How about we start by just giving them a voice?" Tasha huffed.

"Isn't that what the Guardian's Council is for?"

Ambrose cleared his throat and caught the attention of all three of us. "If I may, Princess. The Guardian Council does as much as they can, but they are only able to intercede on behalf of sanctioned guardians. They cannot speak for the Dhampir community at large."

I had heard Dimitri mention the Guardian Council once or twice, but I wasn't very knowledgeable about the finer details of how they worked. By the open mouths of both Liss and Tasha, they didn't know either.

"So, you are telling me that you don't have  _any_  true representation?"

Ambrose shook his head silently, staring intently as he rounded the edge of my forefinger's nail.

"Well...shit."

I couldn't help but nod in agreement with Tasha's summary of the situation. Suddenly it clicked that Ambrose was a dhampir, and more importantly (at least from what I could surmise from Lissa's comment) he was an unpromised dhampir like me. While Lissa and Tasha continued their conversation, I was suddenly much more interested in the man in front of me.

I wasn't quite sure how to begin, seeing how touchy this topic seemed to be. "Forgive me but...you aren't a guardian, are you?"

His filing never stopped, though he glanced up at me through his lashes that were entirely unfair to be wasted on a man. I would have practically killed for them. "Seems like neither of us are." He said it with a smile, teasing more than taking offense and I felt myself relax a little.

"You're the first unpromised dhampir I've met at Court. I was beginning to think they didn't exist, and I really didn't expect to meet a guy."

"Oh we exist alright, guys too. Granted, there aren't many within the walls of Court, but we're out there somewhere."

"If you don't mind me asking...why?"

"Why what?"

Well, why everything? "Why aren't you a guardian? Why didn't you run away like most do? Why do you stay when I know you must be mocked here, if not outright abused?"

"I'd think you'd have your own answers to those questions."

I glanced at Lissa, still fully enthralled in her conversation with Tasha. I had yet to let her know about my plans of returning to Vegas. With the wedding tomorrow, it didn't seem right to bring down her mood. I'd leave a note or something... "Well, I'm figuring things out right now."

He raised an eyebrow – a maneuver that looked nearly as attractive on him as it did on Dimitri – and studied me a moment. "Well, I choose not to be a guardian because I had little interest in combat. Let's just say I'm a lover, not a fighter. I didn't leave because I wasn't trained to run away from a challenge. And I stay...well I stay because of my own reasons. Yes, I get called names and such, but I've found something here that makes staying worthwhile."

As he looked at me, cocking his head to the side, his hair fell away and revealed a wound on the side of his neck. A bite mark, and fresh one too by the looks of it. I find myself staring, and gave a little cough when I snapped out of it. I couldn't look at him when I asked the next question.

"Is that the only option then?" I gave a slight nod towards his neck, which he no doubt noticed me focusing on just moments ago.

"Believe it or not, I choose to be fed from. It gets a bad name in public, but sharing blood can be very freeing and intimate when done with the right person. I'm in an exclusive relationship and this is part of it. I don't let just anyone bite me. It's not about the endorphin rush," his smile grew another watt or two, "though the high is a nice benefit, I'll admit. It took a while, but I don't feel the need to hide it anymore. People are going to say what they want to say about me. I can't choose how they perceive me, only my reaction to their perceptions. I've decided to be happy."

I wasn't sure what to say to his philosophical speech. He was an outcast here, in more ways than one, but he didn't let it get to him. I guess I could understand that to a certain extent. It's not like I haven't been called my fair share of obnoxious names while in Vegas, but it's almost as if I'd forgotten that when I came here. I have a tough skin, but I was so focused on figuring out who I was, I think I lost a bit of who I am.

We discussed various subjects as he painted coat after coat of the gel polish on my fingertips, holding them under the UV lamp in between each one. He talked about his own schooling, and how hard the first few years were after he graduated and decided not to make his promise and receive his mark. He talked about how his Aunt Rhonda, a psychic, had helped him solidify his decision. I tell him about dancing in Vegas and I'm surprised how intrigued he is until he confesses that he once considered stripping for a living. I assure him that he would have been quite the success and we both dissolved into laughter. I love that he has no shame about anything and I slowly find myself opening up to that part of myself too.

Eventually, our group finished up and started getting ready to depart. Just before I left, Ambrose slipped me his business card.

"Just in case you ever need someone to talk to." I didn't miss the sincerity in his voice, and I was grateful that I've met someone who was finally able to understand me.

Part of me wanted to say that Ambrose has made me feel less alone, but I can't. If I'm perfectly honest with myself, I've never really felt alone here. It was easy to see that there are people who care for me and want the best for me. It's only when I started to pull away from them that I started to feel lonely. I'm not sure what to make of the revelation. I still don't feel like I fully belong, but I know that these people are a part of me too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of new character's have joined us! Tasha, Abrose...what do you think? Also, how do you eat your pancakes? A true Romitri at heart, I eat mine with BOTH peanut butter and jelly.
> 
> Also, as I mentioned in one of my stories last week, I'm dealing with some medical issues and testing right now. Many of you have wished me well on this insane journey, and thank you for that, but it is also pretty tiring and has been taking quite a bit of my time and energy. After discussing things with my wonderful beta, Raissa, and coming to the realization that some of my chapters have been less than my best work, please understand if my update schedule isn't as stable as it has been for the past several months. I pride myself on being consistent in my writing and updates, so please know that I'm going to do my BEST to keep it up. However, if I have to make the choice of putting a sub-par chapter up or waiting a few days to give you something of real quality, then I'll always choose quality. I hope you guys can understand that and forgive any possible delays. Like I said, I REALLY want to keep my update schedule, but I have to put my family and my health first, and the quality of these stories right after that.
> 
> Thank you all for being so amazing. Please feel free to favorite, follow, share and review!


	21. Chapter 21

**~ ROSE ~**

* * *

The wedding ceremony was something out of a fairy tale. Seriously, if fairy tales were real, the chapel would have been the image on the last page of the book, with "...and they lived happily ever after" scrawled across it in a fancy script.

I was sneaking a peek before everything got underway and even from my limited view behind the crack in the door, I could see that the room was elaborately decorated in soft shades of white, cream, lilac, and blush. It was...heavenly. Hydrangeas decorated the end of each pew, and a long white carpet ran down the center aisle. I knew the Lissa's flower girls were already eager to scatter the pastel petals. They had been "practicing" all morning, much to the wedding planner's chagrin.

Completing the royal event was a guest list that included every major royal Moroi from all over the world. According to Lissa, she didn't know a majority of those who would be witnessing her nuptials, but since the Queen didn't have a daughter, Lissa had been a stand in and this shindig had become as much of a political event as it was a romantic one.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw the pale Moroi wedding planner giving me a similar look she had given the rambunctious flower girls only a few minutes earlier.

"It's time to start. You need to go stand in line."

I nodded. She was starting to really get on my nerves. I didn't even know the woman's name but she had been looking down on me since the moment I had been made a part of the wedding party. I wish I could pass it off as simply being inconvenienced by a last minute addition to her meticulously planned event, but I knew it wasn't the case. She generally pleasant to everyone in the party except for two others: Dimitri and Eddie. There was only one thing all three of us had in common.

I moved away from the door, catching a quick glimpse of the men lining up at the front of the hall.

I knew that Dimitri, Eddie, and of course Christian would be waiting at the end of the aisle, but one of the men in the party was behind the closed door with us. As if my thoughts alone could conjure him, he appeared.

"That dress is beautiful on you, Little Dhampir, but I must admit that it makes you look deceptively innocent."

I looked down at the pale pink frock I was dressed in and couldn't help but agree. "And Adrian, as usual, you look quite dashing."

"It's a gift." His smile was full of self-assurance, but it quickly morphed into concern as he leaned down to whisper, "Are you okay? I couldn't help but notice that you've been quiet. There also a dark purple touch to your aura that's fairly new. I can't say for certain, but I usually associate it with feelings of hopelessness."

I gave a little huff, slightly annoyed that he could literally see into my soul but touched that he cared enough to ask about it.

"You aren't the only one who is sporting the color either. Dimitri has it back also."

My head snapped up from where I had been focusing on tiled floor. "What do you mean? Back?"

"Yeah, I had gotten pretty used to it over the past few years." He stared at the doors separating us from the chapel as if he could see past them. "It grew after we lost you and it's been a near constant in his aura since then. When we found you in Las Vegas, it completely disappeared, but it showed up again a few days ago. After the charity event, actually."

I lowered my head in shame. I knew what the cause of his sudden change was, and by the looks of it, Adrian had a strong suspicion.

"So...you want to talk about it?"

I looked at Adrian skeptically. "You really want to hear about it?"

"About your star-crossed love life with the Russian? Well, it's no Stephan King novel but...sure, why not." He was acting like it was no big deal to him, but I could see the sincere interest behind his eyes.

"I'm leaving. Right after the wedding. I thought I could stay, but I don't belong here. I think I knew that from the beginning – I just don't fit into this world now – but I wanted to stay and get to know you guys and get to know who I was through you guys. It doesn't matter though. I realized that even if I learn who I used to be, I'll never be that same girl. Maybe that'd be okay, but it's hard when you know some people are looking at you and expecting you to be something you're not."

"It's not the same thing, I know, but I can understand how it feels when you don't think you're living up to others expectations. My parents didn't exactly get the 'unconditional love' part of the relationship. Nothing I did would ever live up to their expectations. I eventually learned to do what felt right to me. Either they got it or they didn't, but I couldn't change that." For someone who had a strong reputation of being a player, a reputation I still had yet to see him live up to, he was incredibly perceptive and sympathetic.

"Yeah. I think I'm figuring that out too." It wasn't the magical answer to all my problems, but I knew that was too much to hope for. Still, I was grateful for his support.

"I'll miss you, Rose. Or Ivy. It really doesn't matter what you choose to go by. You'll always be my Little Dhampir and I'll always be here for you, whatever you need. Promise me that you'll keep in touch?" He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, tucking me under his arm for a moment and whispering in my ear. "None of us want to lose you again."

"I promise," and I meant it. Even if I didn't feel like there was a place for me in this world, these people were engrained on my soul. Granted, some seemed to be more deeply rooted in me than others.

Our group was lining up in formation by the door. The flower girls leading the charge, followed by the ring bearer who seemed a bit too young to trust with rings I was sure were worth several thousand dollars minimum. Next was Mia, then me. I looked behind to see Adrian taking Lissa's arm.

She looked stunning, just as we all knew she would. She was able to combine a great sense of classic elegance and modern style. What was funny was that sense of perfect balance seemed to extend to nearly everything she was and did. From the way she dressed, to the way she held herself, and most importantly, her politics. She found a way to find compromise without anyone feeling like they were receiving the short end of the stick. To bring change without offending.

Today, that talent extended to holding a very formal, very traditional wedding with the Queen's political allies in attendance. But she pushed the envelope by slipping modern elements in without allowing them to stand out like a sore thumb.

The grand doors opened and I could hear the classic Cannon in D signaling our start. I wasn't looking forward to being the center of attention again, even if it was just for a moment before the real star made her entrance, but as they say: "the show must go on."

Before I knew it, I was being guided to into the chapel by the fussy wedding planner and I could feel my heart racing in my chest. I closed my eyes and focused on the music, stepping one foot in front of the other in time with the beat. After a few steps, I opened my eyes and smiled. I knew at the moment, every eye was on me, but I was completely focused on one person. Standing just to the right of Christian, was Dimitri.

* * *

**– Dimitri –**

* * *

I had a dream once, back at the academy after Rose had disappeared but before Christian and Lissa's graduation, where my subconscious had entertained the idea of Rose walking down the aisle. Granted, she had been dressed in white, the ceremony was decidedly simpler, and the dream didn't hold a candle to watching her walk towards me in reality. To say that she took my breath away was an understatement. I couldn't breathe at all, and I was completely okay with that as long as I got to watch her a moment longer.

The reality of the situation was at the back of my mind. This wasn't my wedding. Roza wasn't to be my wife. She wasn't going to be anything to me, except for the one that got away. She was leaving and it was at least partly my fault. I wasn't going to get a lifetime with her. I was given one night – one perfect night – that Rose later confessed was a mistake. I couldn't agree with her. I wouldn't have traded that night for anything. I knew it would haunt me for the rest of my life.

Rose's smile seemed slightly forced. I knew she wasn't reveling in the attention. As social as she had once been, she had been trying to keep a low profile here at Court. Playing a supporting role in the wedding of the year wasn't exactly conducive to flying under the radar. I guess that was just one more way that the Roza I knew and this new Rose were so different.

Ever since my conversation with Tasha, I had been going over and over in my head about how blind I had been. I had ignored or justified how different Rose seemed to be from the girl I knew. I kept clinging to that person that I had known and overlooked the equally amazing person right in front of me. I knew now that Rose was different. She was someone who I needed to get to know again by starting at the beginning. However, I knew that I could love her now just as much as I had loved her then. I was already well on my way. But I had screwed it up. I realized my idiocy too late and pushed Rose away.

It's for the better. She'll be better off this way. I kept repeating those phrases over and over again in my mind but they held no comfort. All they did was keep me composed enough to get through the waking hours.

The vows between Vasilisa and Christian were beautiful. I could hardly focus on what was being said while I kept sneaking glances at Rose just on the other side of starring pair, but I had Christian's words practically memorized by now. He had read them aloud almost every chance he could over the last two weeks, making sure everything was perfect. There was no doubt in my mind that Lissa's promises would be just as sincere and touching.

When the priest announced them Husband and Wife, the crowd applauded and the pair made their exit between the two sections. Of course, Christian only made it about half way before he stopped Lissa and wrapped her up in another kiss as if he couldn't get enough of her. When he pulled back, he had a sense of awe and disbelief on his face. I didn't blame him one bit. Lissa was much too good for him and we all knew it, including him. Infact, he was probably the most vocal about the opinion. However, we also knew that Lissa was the only one with the unusual ability to put up with him, and not just tolerate him, but love him unconditionally. They may not seem like it from afar, but they were a matched pair if I had ever seen one.

I heard Rose's light chuckle from beside me. She was shaking her head at the lovebird's display with a smile on her face that betrayed her. When I offered my arm to her, she hesitated only a moment before looping her own around my forearm and allowing me to guide her out of the chapel.

Unfortunately, she pulled away just as soon as we were out of sight of the congregation. The awkwardness that had been ever present since our morning-after immediately settled over us. She refused to look at me and walked towards Lissa to offer her congratulations. I hated being on the receiving end of her cold shoulder, but I almost wished that she was doing it out of anger or spite like she would occasionally do in training back at the academy. This...this was something different. She was purposefully distancing herself from me.

Eddie had told me that she wasn't going to tell Christian or Lissa about her leaving. She'd be gone by the time they returned from their honeymoon, but she didn't want to ruin their day with bad news so she acted as if nothing was wrong. Eddie and I, the only other two who knew, followed her lead.

Pictures during cocktail hour were filled with an underlining tension between us, though everyone else seemed oblivious to it. I could only hope that the photos didn't pick it up. Between clicks of the camera, I could see Rose taking sips from a glass. Scotch on the rocks by the looks of it. A small stirring of jealousy reared its head when I caught Adrian refilling her empty glass, clinking a matching glass against her new one before they both drink. What really seared itself in my mind is the way his hand lingered on her shoulder for a moment before the photographer asked us to line up again in one final pose.

Justifying myself with the fact that I was off duty tonight, I grabbed a shot of vodka from the bartender and took it in one go, centering myself with a sharp exhale through my nose and snatching one of the hors d'oeuvres from a passing tray in hopes of warding off any form of inebriation. I could see Eddie toss me a questioning look and I waved him off as I took my position beside my partner and fellow groomsman. I had no desire to take advantage of the open bar, but I knew that I would need to clear my mind at least a little if I wanted any hope of getting through the evening.

Rose continued to avoid me over the next hour or so and into dinner. I felt a little relief in watching her quickly look away every time I glanced in her direction, as if she was afraid to be caught staring at me. Even if she wouldn't speak to me right now, I was pretty certain that I had at least a little of her attention. However, being across the room, or even just across the table from her was not enough for me. I knew my time was ticking away and I desperately needed to speak with her.

Most of the reception traditions were taken care of quickly. The cake was cut, the first song was danced, and speeches were made. Since there was no typical best man and maid of honor in the wedding party, Adrian and Tasha each gave a toast in behalf of the happy couple. The Queen even offered her own well wishes, officially giving her implied blessing to Lissa's marriage to the Ozera outcast.

As the band struck up, I watched Rose intently. I could see flashes of her dancing with others, including both Eddie and Adrian. She even shared a dance with Ambrose, one of the only male non-guardian Dhampirs that I had ever met and – if the rumored were to be believed – a romantic interest of the Queen herself.

Finally, after another round of vodka and a small encouragement from Eddie, I sought out the woman I had been watching all night. I still wasn't sure what I was planning on saying to her, but I knew I needed to speak to her and make this right between us. I couldn't let her walk out of my life. Not completely. Even if I could never say those three words aloud to her again, I would be okay. I just needed to be able to speak to her.

Her back was turned, a flute of champagne in one hand as she spoke animatedly with the other. Adrian looked over her shoulder and offered me a small smile but didn't give me away. Just as my fingertips grazed her upper arms, the band started a new song. I didn't recognize the tune, but the beat automatically struck me.

1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3...it was a waltz.

"May I have this dance?"

Rose eyed my proffered hand warily, perhaps debating what she would be promising me by accepting.

"Just one dance, Rose. I'm not proposing, I promise."

She smirked up at me, filled with mirth and apparently finding the reassurance she needed. Taking my arm and allowing herself to be led to the dance floor, I continued to strive for some lighthearted, non-demanding conversation between us.

"So, I've been practicing," I admitted, wondering if she'd take the bait.

"Oh, really?" I could see that playful glint, the same one that I had come to love at the academy during out training sessions and the very same one that I had fallen for all over again in the past couple of weeks.

"Yeah. I had an amazing instructor. Beautiful too."

Her eyes narrowed at me slightly, skeptical of my flirtation. "I wouldn't know anything about that."

I let out a short laugh as I placed my hands in the frame that Rose had practically drilled into me. She beamed up at me, but I couldn't tell if it was in because I had found the right position, or was a response to me laughter. "You mean to tell me you've never had a crush on one of your teachers?" I made sure that there was plenty of sarcasm in my voice to make sure she knew that I was playing with her...offering a white flag, if you will.

"Never!" She exclaimed, taking her hand from my upper arm to place it over her heart in mock offense. "That would be completely inappropriate!"

Well, she wasn't lying about that. It had been completely inappropriate at the time. I also realized that she could be telling the complete truth. Rose...this Rose...never did fall for her combat instructor. She never lived through the struggle of sacrificing her own love life for duty, or testing the boundaries of what could satisfy you without causing more trouble and failing miserably at both. This Rose didn't share my past...but maybe she could be a part of my future.

The steps of the song fell into the back of my mind, almost becoming second nature as I focused on her. With a deep breath, I let our playful banter slide into raw honesty.

"I'm sorry."

Rose bit her lip, as if trying to make sense of the sudden change in the conversation. "For what?"

"For not understanding. For making you feel like you had to be someone other than who you are. I think there will always be a part of me that clings onto the memories I made with you – with her – at the Academy, but I know that holding you to them is unfair to us both."

I could suddenly feel exactly what it meant to lead in dancing, because the small anticipating guidance that Rose gave my movements suddenly stopped, and I was now the only thing directing her on the dance floor. Her mouth opened and closed a few times while trying to form a response but I needed to finish what I started before my courage waned.

"I need you to know something though. While the Roza of my past will always be a part of me, and I will always love her, and yes, I think you will always be a reminder of her...that doesn't mean that I am any less in love with you. I'm falling for you, Rose. There are some things that are so unique to you, and they've endeared you to me. I love your sense of gratitude. I love that you are willing to let others in and help you. I love your patience, which I can honestly say is something completely different from the Roza I knew, but it makes me love you just the same, if not even more so. I can love you too, Rose...if you allow me to. I'd really like the chance to fall in love with you all over again."

I had stopped leading her at this point and we were standing in the middle of the dance floor, completely oblivious to the hundreds of people around us. At this moment, it was just me and her. My heart felt like it was going to burst through my chest with its rapid thumping and I waited, somehow both eager and terrified for her reply.

As Rose looked up at me, understandably somewhat stunned at my passionate declaration of affection, I held my breath. Her tongue darted between her lips, wetting them and buying herself a moment longer to say something. Finally, she took a breath and...

A loud sound pierced through the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, so close. What do you think the noise was? What do you think of Adrian and Rose's conversation? How about Dimitri's apology?
> 
> Thank you all so much for the love and support that you offer me. I honestly believe that I have some of the most wonderful readers and followers in the world. You guys make my day and I look forward to hearing your thoughts each week. Thank you for following, favoriting, and taking a moment to say hi. I hope you all have a wonderful week.


	22. Chapter 22

** ~ROSE~ **

* * *

My hands automatically clamped over my ears as the fire alarm blared. It was only a matter of time before the thousands of candles around the room would trigger it, but man, it was the worst possible timing.

I started heading for the exit I had noticed earlier, but Dimitri suddenly pulled on my arm, stopping me and making me face him again. His face had gone completely blank; the flirtatious man that I had been talking to only moments ago was lost to a fierce mask of professional action.

"Rose. Go with Lissa. Stay right by her and don't leave her side." The way he said it was almost like a command, and the force in his voice didn't allow me to question him. Surprisingly, there was also some anxiety mixed in. "Go. Hurry. Stay by her and you'll be safe."

_Safe?_  I was about to make some sarcastic remark about using Christian's fire and Lissa's Spirit to ward off the flames, when I noticed something in his hand. Out of nowhere, Dimitri had produced a silver stake.

This alarm had nothing to do with smoke and everything to do with Strigoi.

Fear and adrenalin started coursing through my body as I ran to where Dimitri had urged me earlier. Thankfully, Lissa was nearby. Her dress made her easy to spot. Eddie had her positioned near one corner of the room, standing in a defensive position in front of her. Christian was right behind him, looking ready to fight as well. Lissa had just spotted me and called my name, but it was drowned out by several large bangs as the barricaded doorways burst open.

I fought my way through the screaming and panic of others, making it to the trio before any threat. Eddie immediately pulled me behind him, and Christian tried to do the same. It didn't feel right though, so I stood beside the fire user instead. Lissa reached from behind me, taking my hand in hears and offering me a silent comfort as I took in what was happening.

There was too much confusion to focus on any one thing. The demons of my nightmares hunted with abandon, drinking from Dhampir and Moroi alike. It took me several moments to realize that I was watching people die right in front of my eyes, but as soon as I recognized it, I couldn't unsee it. There was death everywhere. My own fears started creeping up on me, making it hard to breath and I wondered how Eddie could stand so confidently against such monsters.

I tried to look for Dimitri, but even with his larger than life stature, he was lost in the chaos. I could see a large gathering off to one side, with more than a few guardians fighting off a large force of Strigoi. A couple of them bore a red pin on their collar, one that Eddie had pointed out to me earlier. They were part of the Royal Guard and my guess was that the Queen was behind the wall of warriors.

It was then that I started noticing something. While the Strigoi were more than happy to attack and kill anyone who crossed their path, they were targeting Moroi of Royal blood. I could see several of the more distinguished guests, ones that I had been introduced to tonight and at the banquet several days ago, already murdered across the room, and my body tensed because I knew now as well as ever that Princess Vasilisa Dragomir would be a prime target.

Almost as soon as the thought had crossed my mind, Eddie sprang into action, meeting the lunge of a shorter Strigoi. I had seen many guardians, including both Eddie and Dimitri, train in the gym. None of that held a candle to what I was watching now. Eddie's movements were swift and sure, and he killed the attacker in less than a few seconds.

The moment his stake was pulled from the man's body, I watched his eyes scan over the crowd. Mine followed their path until we both saw Dimitri. He was across the area that had been the dance floor, near one of the main entrances. Logic told me that he had probably been one of the guardians who had tried to keep the doors sealed.

If Eddie was an amazing fighter, Dimitri was practically a god. I was terrified as he came up against one aggressor after another, but each one quickly became his victim as he worked his way back towards our little strong hold. Between his focused attacks, I caught his gaze several times, as if he was checking our safety before moving on.

"Come on, Belikov." Eddie's murmured whispers barely reached my ears. "I can't take them all by myself."

All it took was one moment of distraction. Eddie noticed the new Strigoi the same moment I did, and it was a moment too late. He barreled into him, sending the guardian flying against the nearby wall. Even above the commotion, I could hear the tell-tale crack of bone. An image of red hair and freckled cheeks flashed in my mind at the sound, stealing my breath away as it mingled with Eddie falling unconscious in front of me.

I heard Christian curse beside me, accompanied by a gasp from Lissa. A quick flare of heat from my right was a sure sign that Christian was preparing to enter the fight next, but I knew that he was limited by his energy and it was very possible that it wouldn't be enough to win. Especially since the single assailant was now joined by a companion.

I knew it was most likely hopeless, but I also knew that I would do everything I could to keep Lissa and Christian alive as long as possible. They came first. I just hoped it would be enough.

With one last glance towards Dimitri – who was working valiantly to reach us but was still too far away – I ran towards Eddie's limp form. His stake laid near his right hand, and I grabbed it before spinning to face my threat. My sudden movement was enough to catch the interest of two of the Strigoi and they turned on me immediately. I stepped over Eddie, faking as much confidence as I could, and took up the familiar position that Dimitri had spent months teaching me so religiously. My hand gripped the stake, feeling both heavy yet somewhat comforting. It was the only thing standing between me and certain death. Even now, my death felt like it was a pretty sure thing.

As the shorter of the two monsters started towards me, I could feel my body tense. Time seemed to slow for a moment as I took a breath, letting my instincts take over.

Even if he was smaller than his friend, the Strigoi still had a few inches on me. As he rushed me, I ducked to the left, using his size and momentum to throw him off balance before using the point of the stake to gouge his shoulder. The yell he gave shocked me, but not long enough for him to take advantage of my hesitation. I could see a wall of fire behind him, engulfing another figure, courtesy of Christian. Without a second thought, I kicked out, forcing the monster back into the flames.

Just like that, he was no longer concerned with me. While he was flailing around, trying to put out the growing inferno, I was able to find my mark. I put as much power as I could into my stake, coming from below the rib covering the heart and tilting upwards like Dimitri had trained me to at the Academy. I could feel the lick of flames at my wrist, burning me in a way I had felt once before, but I ignored it and pressed forward. There was one last look of desperate hatred before the light vanished from his eyes.

_'They've become something dark and twisted...If they have any grain of their former selves, they'll probably be grateful,'_ I could hear Dimitri's guidance easing my shock, but I didn't have much time to revel in my kill – my third – before my next attacker was at my throat. Literally. I never even saw him coming. One moment I had been staring at a being that I had just murdered, soulless as it was, and then the next I was being pressed up against the wall, with my feet dangling off the ground. I tried to grip my stake, but it was no longer in my hand. It didn't matter where it was if it wasn't in my hand.

His eyes were only inches from mine, letting me see every detail of his red-rimmed irises. Perhaps it was the slowly depleting oxygen to my brain, but my mind took note that the red was just as varied as the rest of his eye. Most of it was blood red, but there were streaks of bright flame and spots of dark crimson. It was a terrifying thing to see, but there was a certain beauty to it. There could be worse things to have as my last sight.

But it wasn't. Just as my vision started to darken with black spots, those red eyes grew wide and a choked cry left his snarled lips before he fell to the ground. I fell against the wall, gasping to catch my breath and strong hands grasped my arms desperately. When my sight became clearer, I found that the red eyes had been replaced by the much more appealing chocolate ones.

Dimitri looked me up and down, examining me with both his hands and eyes for any injury. "Roza!" I saw him stripping me of a black dress. "Roza, talk to me." I saw him carrying me in his arms across the quad as he pleaded for me to hold on. It was the first time he had admitted his feelings were real, even if we could never be together. "Roza! Are you okay?" I saw the man who had become a part of me so thoroughly, that my heart had remembered him when my mind forgot.

* * *

**– DIMITRI –**

* * *

I always feel a bit of fear when in combat. It's a good thing generally. Fear produces adrenalin, and adrenalin makes you more aware and focus. However, it's possible to have too much fear, where you start to question yourself, doubt your choices, and hesitate. It only takes a moment of hesitation to make a fatal mistake but even knowing that...I couldn't help it.

I took one last look at Rose. I couldn't shake the feeling that if I didn't memorize her now, I would never see her again. But the moment was brief before she ran towards Eddie and our Moroi. If I couldn't protect her myself, I trusted Eddie to do so. I knew he would protect Rose with as much vigor as he would protect both Lissa and Christian.

I ran towards the main entrance, where I could see several other guardians struggling to secure the door. I knew it wouldn't hold long, but every moment we could keep the Strigoi out was another moment that we could secure the long list of Moroi inside.

Knowing that this event would have more than its fair share of high ranking royals, there was a security plan in place. There was a panic room prepared, one that I could see the Royal Guard already ushering Queen Tatiana into.  _Eddie will get Rose and the Moroi in there_ , I reassured myself.  _He knows what he needs to do._

No sooner had I reached the door than I heard a large crack of the wood giving.

I fought one enemy after another, not even bothering to take their appearance in before taking them out. I could see others falling beside me. I heard the grunt of Guardian Coffey to my left, dissolving into a strained gurgle as his breath was choked out with his own blood. There was no time to mourn him though, not if I wanted to stay alive. I staked the monster that had just killed my peer and moved onto the next.

Whenever I had the chance, I glanced towards the area that I had last seen Rose. Eddie was still there. Why was he still there?

There were more Strigoi than we had originally planned for. I could see our security plan falling apart at the seams as more death and destruction was doled out all around me. I knew the fall out would be huge, but my primary goal shifted from the room at large and shrinking to those that were still trying to hold their own in the far corner.

I started working my way towards them, catching the moment when Eddie took on an incoming Strigoi. The fight was short lived, with Eddie coming out on top. He wasn't so lucky the next time though.

I saw him fly several feet, landing against the wall harshly and hitting the floor. My fear amplified immediately. Two other Strigoi were closing in fast, and I was too far away. I was too far away. I wouldn't get to them in time because I was too damn far away.

I locked eyes with Rose for half a second and I could feel so many words pass through us. I begged her not to do something rash, but all I saw was a regretful apology in response. I was still fighting my way towards her, but suddenly she ran. I watched her as she knelt next to Eddie's limp form, drawing the attention of the two of the Strigoi and turning to face them with stake in hand. She fell into a defensive position, but the look on her face was anything but confident. She looked determined, sure, but she also looked like she knew she wouldn't win.

It takes a whole lot more than simply knowing the combat moves to win in a fight. Perhaps win isn't even the correct word. Survive. It takes more than just combat skills to survive. It takes the determination to strike. It takes the courage to open your guard for just a moment – leaving you vulnerable – so you can overthrow your opponent with a killing blow. Above all, it takes the understanding and acceptance that you may not come out victorious.

My struggle to reach her was halted when I came face to face with my own assailant. As hard as I was trying to ignore the chaos around me and get to Rose, I couldn't avoid the direct attack.

A loud shriek sounded over the crowd, drawing my eyes towards Rose and the others as I pulled my stake from the now-dead monster in front of me. Her attacker was clutching his arm, his blood staining the silver on her weapon.

Christian had set a second Strigoi on fire, using his magic to engulf him in flames that he couldn't escape. I knew it was something that was draining on him, but we had discussed defense tactics and when he was out numbered with no place to run, this was his last resort.

Rose used the flames to her advantage, kicking her enemy into the fire and using it as a diversion so she could make her kill. Unfortunately, the shock of it all seemed to hit her at that moment.

I was only a few feet away now, but it still wasn't close enough. Out of nowhere, a third Strigoi swooped in. Within a heartbeat, he had her up against the wall by her neck and I could see her desperately clawing at his hands and trying to free herself. The stake lay uselessly underneath her dangling feet. She didn't scream. She didn't have the spare oxygen to do so.

Nothing else mattered at that point. I pressed forward, knocking through another possible challenger rather than engaging in combat. Someone else could take care of him. I only had one focus now. I had to get to Roza.

Finally, as her eyes were starting to lose the battle with consciousness, I struck. My stake plunged deep enough into his back to pierce through his chest on the other side.

The hand choking Rose immediately released, and both she and the monster dropped to the floor. I kicked the Strigoi away from us, grasping at Rose and checking her for injury. My hands trailed her arms, her neck, her face. Besides a few scrapes and some certain bruising, she seemed to be alright.

Eventually, her breathing slowed and returned to normal. She gently pushed away my hands, and rubbed some of the lingering ache away from her throat. "I'm fine, Comrade. I'm fine. Go check on Liss and Sparky over there."

I let out a grateful sigh, offering her a hand and pulling her up to a standing position before turning to do as she suggested. It was just like Rose to worry about her friends before anything else, and to remind me to do the same even when I rather focus on her. She knew just how to get to me too, using that old nickname and everything...

Wait.

I turned back suddenly, facing her with wide eyes and what I assumed to be an expression half way between shock and hope. Rose peered at me from under her lashes, supporting herself against the wall. As soon as our eyes met, she bit anxiously at her lip and nodded.

I wasn't sure how to react. A part of me wanted to run back to her, hold her close, and thank God that my Roza remembered me. The other part was hesitant, knowing that there was nothing wrong with the woman I had been getting to know over the past two weeks and wondering how this new turn of events would change things. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say.

Roza made the choice for me. "Go. They come first."

They always come first...even when our worlds were crashing in around us...they always come first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It happened! It finally happened! Rose has her memories back, so the question is...now what?
> 
> Thank you for staying with me with that doozy of a cliffhanger last week. We had lots of guesses as to what the noise might have been, but I was surprised how many thought it was a gun shot. But seriously, we needed to see Strigoi at some point, right?
> 
> On a side note...writing fight scenes are hard. Any other fic writers have issues with it?
> 
> Thank you for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting. I really appreciate your love and support. Have a great week!


	23. Chapter 23

** – DIMITRI – **

* * *

It took hours before I was able to speak to Rose alone. I noticed that she purposefully didn't tell Lissa or any of the others about her new knowledge, so as hard as it was, I kept my mouth shut. By the time everyone was back at the house – Lissa and Christian had wisely decided to postpone their honeymoon in light of the attack – I was practically bursting with the need to say something. The newly married couple retreated to their bedroom while Eddie volunteered to escort Adrian back to his own apartment after they were both treated for minor injuries. Tasha was already safely in guest housing. Once everyone and everything was taken care of, it was extremely late, but I couldn't wait any longer.

Rose was in the kitchen, spinning an empty cup between her palms as she stared out the window towards the brightly lit sky. I could practically see her mind working through the tense posture of her shoulders and the way her nose wrinkled. Her bottom lip was swollen with how much she had been worrying it between her teeth.

She barely glanced as I approached her, but I saw her eyes flicker my way for a moment. Even with her acknowledgment, she still jumped when I grabbed her hand and started leading her down the hallway. I knew Lissa and Christian were likely still awake after everything, and Eddie would be back any minute. I needed to find a safe place to discuss this with her.

I pulled her into my bedroom, softly shutting to the door behind me before turning towards her again. Her eyes quickly flashed towards the bed before giving me a hard stare.

"You remember?"

"I remember."

"Everything?"

Her eyes glanced towards the bed once more. "Everything," she sighed. "My childhood, the academy, training, Spokane, you, me...everything."

From the look on her face, you'd think that she had been given bad news. "Then why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I'm not sure I  _want_  to tell anyone, Dimitri. This changes everything but...maybe this shouldn't change a thing."

I shook my head, not quite understanding. It was way too late for Rose Logic. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I have a chance to live my own life! Isn't that what we've always wanted? Freedom? I don't know if I'm ready to give up a life where I have control. I got to see with new eyes just how messed up everything here is, and I'd be walking into a life of near oppression by staying."

"So you're just going to abandon all of us? Me? Lissa?"

"No!...Maybe. God, I don't know, Dimitri!" She fell heavy on my bed, her face in her hands. "I'm not a saint like you. I don't...I can't do something just because it's the right thing to do. Not when my own life is on the line."

"I'm far from being a saint." I couldn't help think of every sin I've committed, several of them including her. "Plus, I have seen you risk your life several times for the Princess. You did so again today."

"That was different. I'd be willing to die for her. I'd be willing to die for  _you_. But living for her...living here...that's something completely different. I don't know if I could do that."

"But..."

"I meant what I said before, about not being the same person. That's still true, Dimitri. I'll never be the Rose I was going to be before Mason died. I lived outside these walls, outside this world and the screwed up norms that I was taught to accept as a child."

She rubbed at her eyes and I sat beside her, awkwardly hesitating before attempting to rub the stress between her shoulder blades. She didn't even react. After a few minutes, she finally looked up at me.

"What would you do, Dimitri?"

"Hmm?"

"What would you do? Would you stay?"

The question brought me up short. What  _would_  I do in her position? My instinct was to tell her to stay. Part of it was my own selfish desire to keep her close to me. I had just gotten her back, in more ways than one, and I wasn't willing to let her just walk out of my life again. But, honestly, if I had the chance to live life on my own terms...

"Go."

Despite her question, she still seemed a bit shocked at my answer. "What did you say?"

"I said, 'go'. You're right. You don't belong here. You aren't bound by a promise mark. You should go."

The silence was deafening, the air thick. We faced each other, but neither of us seemed to be able to look the other in the eye.

"Fine. My flight is already scheduled for tomorrow morning." Her voice was significantly softer now, almost inaudible. "I'll...I'll call okay?"

While her voice was soft, mine was completely gone. All I could do was nod and leave before I made a fool of myself.

_She deserves better,_  I reminded myself.  _She always deserved better than this life. Now she has a chance at it._

* * *

** ~ROSE~ **

* * *

"Thanks for picking me up." I lifted my bag into the trunk of Marie's old Camry with a grunt. The bag was significantly heavier than it had been when I had left and that didn't even factor into account the second bag that I had taken from the closet. I once again found myself pondering the morality of taking the bag and everything in it, wondering if this annoying game of Tetris in the cluttered car was some cosmic karma for doing so. I didn't exactly ask Lissa's permission, but technically everything I took was mine. She had just been holding on to my stuff. That made it okay, right?

"No problem. I just got off my shift so the timing was perfect." Marie acted nonchalant, but could see the flurry of questions practically begging to be asked in her eyes. Thankfully, she could read me like a book and didn't say anything beyond a few basic pleasantries.

The sun was starting to rise over the Vegas skyline. By now, everyone who would have cared at Court surely knew I was gone. I had left a note for Lissa, explaining that I couldn't stay there. It nearly broke my heart to write it, especially with a flood of memories now reminding me of every time I promised to stand by her, to protect her, to always be there for her. She didn't need me though. None of them did. Not really. They had all gotten along fine enough when I disappeared and they would be okay now. At least, that's what I kept telling myself. I promised to call and keep in touch, but part of me hoped they would slowly just forget me. I knew they wouldn't. If they had kept a room for someone that common sense would have pronounced dead, then there was no way that they would let me slip quietly into the night. Well, besides literally that is.

I had left early before anyone should have been awake. Of course, Dimitri was. He was already in his usual training outfit, the black tee stretching against his chest and reminding me of what was hidden beneath. We stared at each other a moment, but there was nothing left to say. He left for his morning run and I switched on the coffee maker. I still hated the bitterness of it, but I knew I'd need the boost to make it through the day.

Of course, Dimitri's awkward exit left me with an opportunity to grab one last thing. Dimitri had never returned my dress from...that night. He was probably holding it ransom until I agreed to talk to him. I still wasn't sure I wanted the memories associated with it, but it was still one hell of a dress and I couldn't leave it behind. I snuck quietly past his door, and just stared at the empty room for a while. It felt so cold in here.

There was almost nothing personal, nothing to mark this room as his. I remembered how his apartment back at the Academy had been the same, though I had assumed at the time it was more due to a lack of available space than anything else. His collection of books sat in a book case along one wall, with a handful of pictures on top of it. There was one with a couple of girls crowding around him, though on quick inspection, I realized that there was nothing to be jealous of. They all shared the same eyes. These had to be his sisters. While he wasn't in a cap and gown, the tape peeking from the back of his neck made me think this must have been his graduation ceremony. My own hand caressed the back of my neck where a promise mark was missing, as were several  _molnija_. I could honestly do without the latter.

The next picture was with two older women, both looking at him proudly. His mother and...his grandmother? I think Dimitri had mentioned that she lived with them. Dimitri rarely talked about his family, but every time he did, he would practically glow. They made him so happy and I knew he missed them like crazy. Part of me wished that I could have an ounce of the familial memories he had, but my own childhood was only filled with longing, disappointment, and bitterness towards my parents...or lack thereof. They probably deserved their own goodbye, but I wondered if they would even realize I left.

The last picture was with a tall blond boy about the same age as Dimiti himself, and I would bet my entire meager fortune that it was Ivan. They looked almost as close as Mason and Eddie had been. I hated the thought as soon as it appeared, but I was silently grateful that Dimitri and Eddie had each other. Eddie needed someone to help him through the loss of our friend, and maybe Eddie finally got Dimitri to come to terms with Ivan's death.

Yeah. They'd be fine. Everyone would be fine.

You'd think that with a room as sparse as Dimitri's, I'd find the dress in an instant. Nope. It wasn't on the back of the chair where he had set it that night, nor was it hanging in his closet. It made no sense, but I checked every hidden nook and cranny I could think of, trying to hide any evidence of my search as I went. I finally checked his nightstand. I knew it wasn't there, but I was out of options.

As I opened the lone drawer, I was right. No dress. There was something else of interest though. A photo.

I had forgotten about it. It was taken years ago, when Victor had taken us to Missoula for a shopping trip before he had shown his true colors. Lissa had taken a picture of "my first day" but I was more interested in the image that she had caught behind me. Dimitri was looking at me with something dangerously close to adoration. When I had first seen it, I was certain that my mind was desperately playing tricks on me, but over the next few weeks, I believed it. Dimitri admitted having feelings for me, feelings that we could never act on, but still...they were there. I held on to that one bit of truth – and this photo – ever since. Dimitri must have found it after I disappeared, the fact that my old journal where I had hidden it then was now sitting underneath it was proof, and it broke my heart to think of him holding on to it when he thought I was gone. My thumb brushed against one of the worn corners where I was certain his fingers had traced over and over again over the years.

Pulling out my phone, I focused in on his image, almost cropping me out entirely, and snapped a picture. I couldn't take this from him, not when he had taken such care of it. I did take the journal though. With a final hesitation, I grabbed one more item before shutting the drawer and giving up my search.

Of course, the dress was the last place I looked. Just before opening the door, hoping that I hadn't spent so much time in here that Dimitri would be back or the rest of the house would be waking, I saw the smallest piece of gold lace peeking out from behind a leather duster on the back of his door. It figures. That duster was so big that it could practically hide anything. I pulled my dress from the hanger, stealing one breath of Dimitri's scent from his jacket before rushing out of the room and stuffing the last of my stolen items into my suitcase.

And that was it. There was nothing left to do...so I left.

"So...what now Ivy? Wait, you are still going by Ivy, right?" Marie's curiosity got must have gotten the best of her. I had been so lost in thought that I had lost track of time.

"Ivy's fine." My voice seemed devoid of any emotion, even to my own ears. I couldn't quite work out my feelings yet, much less my name. On one hand, I knew that Marie, and Vegas, and the real world meant a change at a real life that I could control. I wasn't necessarily talking about marriage, family, and a little white picket fence. I never really dreamed of that, not as Ivy and certainly not at Rose. Maybe one day, but I was talking about something much more immediate. College, travel, maybe a boyfriend that wouldn't cause an uproar in my community...

On the other hand, being Ivy meant leaving my family, or the closest thing to a real family I had ever had, behind. Sure, I could call and maybe even visit occasionally, but something told me that it would be a whole lot more difficult than it really should be. The grass really is greener on the other side. Rose had everything I had felt was missing: family and history. However, Ivy had the one thing Rose craved: freedom. Could I really choose one above the other?

It had been an easy decision when I had thought the other didn't exist. But when you have no other options, it's amazing what you can do to get by and survive. Now, everything seemed to be coming apart at the seams.

"So, you're staying? What about that girl? Lissa? What about Dimitri?"

Go. That's what he said and that's what I did. It was what I had been planning on all along, but for some reason it hurt to hear him actually say it. But if there was one thing I knew about Dimitri, it was that he would always do what was best for others. He knew as well as I did that this was my best option. Perhaps that should have made the choice easier, but it didn't.

"It doesn't matter. I belong here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memories are back, but all is not well with Romitri. I know some of you are probably ready to string me up because of this but I PROMISE that these two will knuckle heads will figure things up. Remember that trials leave you better on the other side :)
> 
> For those of you who have sent me beautiful supportive notes to me over this weekend, thank you. It's been a hard week and I had to skip a posting of Shadow Kiss so I could focus on my health and family, but I promise I'll be back on track for that soon. Enjoy this chapter until then.
> 
> Thank you all for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting.


	24. Chapter 24

**– DIMITRI –**

* * *

She had left a note for Lissa. That was it. No tearful goodbye, no begging her to stay. She slipped away like a thief in the night.

Lissa had held the note, reading and rereading it over and over again until I was certain she had the words memorized. I know I did.

.. _.I'm sorry but I can't stay. Your world isn't mine anymore..._

_...Thank you for giving me my childhood. Your friendship means more than I could ever say..._

_...I won't forget you. Never again..._

_...I'll call..._

She lied.

She didn't call that day or any day after. She wouldn't answer her phone. It had been a week and I'm was half tempted to take the next flight out to make sure she's alive but I know that I'm the last person she wanted to see right now.

The mood in the house has gone back to a precious dance of avoidance, as if we were standing in a powder keg and any wrong move could set off a spark. Just like her first disappearance, nobody wanted to talk about how much it hurt to miss Rose like this, but we all felt it.

Perhaps the most heartbreaking sight was watching Lissa sit quietly in one of the chairs, facing a blank expanse of wall, for hours on end. It took me a day or so to realize what she was doing, but it should have been obvious from the get go. Lissa was calling out to Rose through the bond, attempting to reach to her in a way that only she could, but judging by the tears that followed night after night, Rose was ignoring that as much as her phone.

I started feeling angry. I took my aggression out at the gym, but the silence allowed my mind to wander further than I'd let it under normal circumstances. I hated that she left again. Not just me, but Lissa and the others too. She ripped us apart and walked away unscathed. I became bitter, mad that she left, mad at her. I silently berated her, calling her selfish, weak, cowardly. I began to wish that we had never stumbled upon her that night in Vegas. I wished that I had never tracked her down in that alley. I wished that I never asked her to come back. I wished that I had never opened up to her. I wished that I had never fallen for her so completely that it physically hurt to be apart from her. I wish I had never met Rose Hathaway...ever.

I wish...

I wish...

The chain of the heavy bag gave a metallic clang as it came to a rest, and the noise echoed off of the walls. My head rested against the unnatural material covering it, making my sweat soaked skin stick to it uncomfortably until my legs couldn't support my body any longer and I collapsed to my knees.

I wish she had never left.

I wish I had asked her to stay.

I wish she was here.

I don't know how long I sat there, hiding from the world behind the cover of taped hands, but my phone eventually woke me from my daze.

_Unknown Number: Hey Idiot. Answer your phone.  
_ _Unknown Number: I need to talk to you._

The number wasn't recognizable at all, and it certainly wasn't Rose as I had been hoping it was, but I was too curious to ignore it. Most likely it was just a wrong number.

_Dimitri: Who is this? How did you get my number?_

_Unknown Number: How do you think? I stole it from Ivy's phone._

_Dimitri: Marie?_

_Unknown Number: Of course! Who else would be texting you on her behalf? I need to know what happened. Ivy came back out of the blue a week ago and now I'm wondering where my best friend is. She hasn't been herself ever since she came back but she refuses to talk about it._

I hesitated, not sure what to tell her. Beyond the obvious issues about telling a human about the vampiric world, I didn't want to over step my bounds and share more than Rose would be comfortable sharing.

_Dimitri: I don't know what to tell you, Marie. She got some of her answers here, but ultimately decided that she didn't want to stay._

_Unknown Number: That sounds like the same BS that she's been feeding me. What happened? Why is she moping around? I've never seen her like this, even when she had absolutely nothing._

_Dimitri: I'm sorry, Marie. She needs to tell you anything else._

Five minutes and no text back, I thought that I had finally satisfied her questions. If nothing else, I assumed that I had at least pissed her off enough that she wasn't going to bother me anymore. I tore off the bloodied tape, tossing it in the trash after checking my knuckles for any excessive damage. A chime rang from my phone as I reached for it on the bench, and I was tempted to ignore it. I didn't have any excuses to give to Marie, and I could hardly tell her the truth, but the message glaring from the screen stopped me.

_Unknown Number: Her nightmares are back._

Nightmares? I don't remember Rose mentioning anything about nightmares. But that wasn't true. She did mention nightmares once, the day we first told her about the vampires in Las Vegas. She insisted that vampires were the things of nightmares. Her nightmares.

_Unknown Number: They're worse than ever. She keeps crying out in the middle of the night.  
_ _Unknown Number: So far I've heard her scream for you and for Lissa the most, but she also calls out several other names. 'Mason' seems to be a pretty common one._

I let out a curse, wondering why I hadn't thought about this earlier. Of course she would be having issues. Not only did she witness a full scale Strigoi attack the day before she left, she also regained her memories, including witnessing Mason's death which was probably the trauma that made her forget in the first place.

_Dimitri: She should probably talk to someone. This has to be a lot for her to take in. Does she have a therapist or counselor?_

It wasn't a total lie. Rose had been through a lot. She probably should talk to someone. Of course, she wouldn't be able to be totally honest unless she was able to find some Moroi working out there, but maybe Lissa could help with that.

_Unknown Number: Ivy hasn't seen a therapist in years and I don't know if that's changing anytime soon. I think what she needs is a friend._

_Dimitri: Maybe you're right, but isn't that why she has you?_

_Unknown Number: I'm not the friend she needs Dimitri. I think she needs you._

I scoffed, knowing that I was the last person Rose needed or wanted.

_Dimitri: It's a nice thought, but I doubt she wants to see me._

_Unknown Number: You don't get it, do you?_

_Dimitri: Get what?_

_Unknown Number: She's terrified for herself. She terrified for Lissa. She terrified for whoever Mason is, as well as Christian, Adrian, Eddie and a slew of others. Hell, she's screamed my name out once or twice.  
_ _Unknown Number: But when she finally screams herself awake, there's only one name she cries for..._

It seemed like that text bubble went back and forth as I waited for her text to come through, but I resisted pushing her. Part of me knew what would come next, but I needed to see it. I needed to see it in writing.

_Unknown Number: You._

* * *

I didn't text her back. I didn't know what to say, and anything that I would have said wouldn't have mattered. Did I want to see Rose again? Did I want to be there for her through the nightmares, and the questions, and everything else that life had unfairly thrown her way? Of course. But she didn't want me. She didn't want this life. I couldn't leave and she couldn't stay.

When I finally made it back to the house, breakfast was long over. You wouldn't know it by the way everyone was gathered around the table. The moment I came into view, Lissa stood.

"Dimitri, still no word from Rose?"

I debated whether or not to tell them about Marie's texts, but in the end I just shook my head. What good would it do to get their hopes up?

Everyone deflated a little, but Lissa perked up again a moment later. "Well, we'll just have to go get her then."

"Excuse me?" Everyone else seemed about as confused as I was.

"Rose. We'll need to go get her and bring her back. You know where to find her, right, Dimitri?"

"Liss," Christian looked at her warily, as if wondering whether or not she was completely stable. It had been a long time since she had lost control of her element and the side effects from it, but it had been a stressful few weeks for everyone. "I know you want her to come back but Rose doesn't want to stay here."

"No, Rose said she  _couldn't_  stay, not that she didn't want to," Lissa argued. I didn't see how that really changed anything but it seemed to make all the difference in the world to her. "Eddie, you said that she felt like she couldn't stay because she wasn't a guardian and felt like she didn't have a place here. What if we found a place for her?"

"Like a job?" Adrian looked at her skeptically. "No offense Liss, but I don't think Rose is willing to wait tables at the coffee shop here. It's not exactly a step up from that club she's working at now."

Liss visibly winced at the reminder of Rose's current job, I couldn't help my own internal cringe.

"At least she wouldn't have men staring at her like a piece of meat," Lissa snapped, her anger so unlike her typical gentle demeanor. Christian rubbed her back, whispering something inaudible to us as she took a few calming breaths. Her new husband had a way of calming the Princess down that the rest of us couldn't match, so we allowed them their moment.

Meanwhile, Adrian rolled his eyes, not at Lissa's current edge, but at the words that had accompanied them. I could practically hear the retort that I knew he wanted to say but wisely held back. Rose would be stared at whether she worked at that club or worked here, but at least at the club she could defend herself against the men that went beyond what she deemed acceptable. It had taken quite a bit of influence from Adrian to keep her from being arrested after she attacked Lord Conta at the charity event.

"Lissa, I know you have good intentions. We all wanted Rose to stay, but that needs to be her choice and her choice alone." Eddie glanced at me, as if to make sure that Lissa wasn't the only one getting that message, but his gaze softened. "However, Lissa is right about one thing: we need to send someone to go see her."

Everyone stared at his seemingly blatant contradiction before he continued with another breath. "Hans spoke to me this afternoon. They want to include Rose in the  _Zevezda_  ceremony. They know she participated in the battle, and even if she doesn't have her promise mark, she's still entailed to her marks. They also want to give her the  _molnija_  that are long overdue."

With Rose leaving, I hadn't even spared much thought towards the upcoming  _Zevezda_ ceremony. Battles were rare, and I had only seen one or two battle star tattoos in my life. Perhaps under normal circumstances, the fact that I would be receiving my own in a few days would have been more memorable, but my mind seemed so filled with bitterness and longing over Rose's departure that there was hardly room for anything else.

Lissa was the first to volunteer, but that was quickly shut down because of the production associated with her leaving the wards. It came down to me or Eddie, and while I desperately wished he would offer to go, one look and I knew he wasn't going to show me mercy.

"Fine. I'll pack my bags. Just let me know when I'm due to take off."

* * *

**~ROSE~**

* * *

Bursting through the alley doors into the night air was a literal breath of fresh air. I had forgotten just how much the club could smell of sweat and alcohol. Tonight, it seemed particularly pungent.

"You really should stop using this door."

I jumped, turning to face the nearly seven foot tall shadow against the brick wall.

"Dimitri," I breathed, half in relief and half in annoyance. My hand ran along the smooth metal of the stake in my jacket, calming the last of my nerves. The action must have caught Dimitri's attention.

"I was wondering where my spare went," he commented, gesturing to the now hidden weapon.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea how to get a hold of one. It's not like they sell them at the corner store, but I didn't see the inscription until after I came here. I should probably give it back to you though," my thumb traced over the now familiar geometric pattern that I had only recently figured out was actually Dimitri's name in Cyrillic. My apology and offer were genuine, I had stolen it after all, but a quiet part of me was hesitant to let it go.

"No, please. Keep it. I had meant to give it to you anyways."

After a moment or two of awkward silence, I resorted to my default: sarcasm. "So, do you make a habit of lurking in dark alleyways for unsuspecting women, or is that just something special between you and me?"

He winced. "Yeah. Sorry. I just thought it would be more awkward if I went inside..."

"You could have called."

"Would you have answered?" He cocked his eyebrow in question.

"Maybe..." No. It wasn't like I had answered any of the other fifty phone calls from him, Lissa, or the others.

"Either way, I needed to see you in person." He bit his lip between his teeth, worrying it a little and making me all too aware of my own swollen lips from a much similar action. I shifted on my feet, trying to resolve the longing for him in other places too.

"It's a bit chilly out here; are you sure you don't want to come inside?"

"No," he wrinkled his nose at the thought, "I'd rather speak to you alone...if you don't mind that is."

"Well, you got me. What was so important that you had to come all this way to see me?"

"Actually, I have a message."

Even through my curiosity, I couldn't help feel the disappointment. Of course Dimitri would be here out of duty. I had shot him down just a few weeks ago. Did I expect him to be some fictional character from one of Marie's romance novels? Flying cross country just to beg me to come back?

No. I wasn't that naive. "Okay. What's the message?"

"You have been summoned to Court by the Guardian Council."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but I hope it's better than nothing. I loved the idea of the alley scene getting a "reprise" if you will, especially since that seems to kinda be their thing now. What did you think about Dimitri's anger towards Rose, and even more so towards himself. What about Marie going behind her back?
> 
> Also, I wanted to mention that Rose doesn't see a councilor for her struggles, but that's because I feel like it is inline with her personality. We even see her reject help in Shadow Kiss. However, I don't want to romanticize not seeking help when you need it. I FULLY recommend finding professional support and there's a good part of me that wants to scream at Rose to talk to someone who can help her sort out her feelings and emotions.
> 
> Speaking of support, I wanted to thank you all again for your continued prayers and well wishes. I am on the upswing at the moment and while life is still stressful, I'm finding ways to cope. Thank you again :D
> 
> Don't forget to follow, favorite, share, review! See you next week.


	25. Chapter 25

**~ROSE~**

* * *

"I don't answer to them," I offered him a bittersweet smile and a mocking curtsy to solidify my point.

"I know you don't. You're welcomed to refuse. I wouldn't recommend it, but that's up to you." His demeanor seemed completely unfazed and I hated that I couldn't see past that stupid guardian mask right now.

"What? You aren't going to drag me kicking and screaming? What happened to the Dimitri I met in Portland?"

He smiled and I felt my stupid heart race for a beat or two. I used to live for those smiles, but I tried to tell myself that I couldn't get too attached to them. Another twenty minutes or so and he'd be gone again.

"This isn't the same situation, Rose. You aren't the same reckless teenager, and I'm not the same workaholic guardian."

I looked at him disbelievingly. I couldn't imagine Dimitri as anything other than a workaholic guardian. It was part of what made him...well, Dimitri.

"Okay, so I'm a guardian with some workaholic tendencies," he admitted with some reluctance, "but the fact remains that I'm not the same person I was that night. I've changed. A lot of that has to do with you. You changed me, Rose."

I looked away, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth and gnawing at the soft flesh. His admission made me uncomfortable and I wasn't sure what to say. What could I say? He was the one that told me to go. Now he wants me to come back? No, not him. The Guardian Council.

"Do you know what they want me for?"

"Your marks. You earned them and they would like to officially offer them."

I laughed bitterly. "This seems like something I could have easily declined over the phone. You think I  _want_  a reminder of how I failed Mason and barely escaped with my life? Trust me, I'm starting to wish I could just forget it all again."

"None of us want to remember how we got our marks. They aren't badges of honor, they're memorials for those we couldn't save."

I stared at him, and wondered how many of his marks came with the loss of a friend, a peer, or someone completely innocent. Many people died at the reception, dhampir and Moroi alike; perhaps I did owe it to them to brand the reminder of that on my skin.

"And they just sent you as the messenger?"

"I volunteered."

Huh. Well, that had to count for something. And to be honest, I was curious about what they wanted. Curiosity didn't pay the bills though. "I have a job, Dimitri. I can't just pick up and leave because some group of mythical creatures beckons."

Before he could reply, I pulled the handle to the alley door – propped open by nothing more than a small rock between the door and the jam – and disappeared through. I gave him one last smirk as the heavy steel separated us.

* * *

** – DIMITRI – **

* * *

Why couldn't she ever just make thing easy for me? I knew that she wouldn't come quietly when I offered to come get her, but I didn't expect her to make things quite so difficult. I weighed my options of waiting for her out here or actually venturing inside. In the end, I reluctantly decided to go in. I had no idea when she got off, and now that she knew I was out here, she would probably try to throw me off. Since I didn't know where she lived, my best chance of talking to her again was to keep tabs on her in the club.

Paying the entry fee was no easier today as it was several weeks ago, and perhaps it stung a little bit more since I was doing so now as a desperate measure to talk to Rose again. She must have been back stage at the moment but someone else caught my eye.

I started for the bar, taking one of the stools at the end and waited for Princess to notice me. It only took a moment or two, before she slid a shot of Vodka my way with a grin.

"Need some liquid courage?"

"More like liquid pain relief. Rose didn't exactly seem thrilled to see me."

"Well,  _IVY_  has been trying to figure out quite a few things right now. Maybe you should try talking to her rather than jumping out from the shadows in the alley."

I cocked my eyebrow, both at her scolding tone and the fact that she seemed to know what had happened literally minutes ago. She patted her hip pocket of her shorts where the thin outline of a phone straining against the tight fabric.

"We'll you are the one who's been telling me that I needed to come see her."

"I was hoping that you'd do it like a civilized human being rather than a stalker."

"When does she get off? I'd really like to talk to her again."

"She has a few more numbers so it will be a few hours. I'll text her and let her know you're here, but whether or not she's up to talking to you again is her choice."

"I'll respect whatever she wishes."

 _'Princess'_ Marie smiled sending me a wink and another shot which I downed as quickly as the first. "Just what I was hoping to hear."

With a nod of her head, she urged me towards some open seats close to the stage and despite my better judgment I complied. I was fairly certain that if I didn't, Marie would personally make sure that I was too wasted to speak clearly, in either English or Russian.

It took me twenty minutes again to see her again, but the situation was hardly conducive to continuing our conversation. She walked onto stage, one of many, but standing out to me as if she was alone, and captivated me as the music started. I don't think she actually expected me to come inside, which might have accounted for some of the surprise on her face when she finally noticed me near the stage.

The shock wore off quickly though, and I could see the determination in her eye to control the situation. The song was quick in its pace and loud in its beat and while I didn't recognize the melody, I could definitely get the base of its intent: temptation.

She watched me as she danced, and I couldn't help but stare at the way her muscles flexed as she moved. I licked my lips, remembering the way her skin tasted, and how she had felt both above and beneath me. The rational part of my mind told me to look away, that I shouldn't be staring at her and thinking these thoughts, but the more vindictive part of me justified my brazen gaze by saying that this was what she did. She danced for these people. She danced so these men and women would watch her, would want her. What difference did one more pair of eyes make? She would dance whether I looked or not, so I might as well.

And she almost seemed pleased to see me watching her, and she stared me down with equal fervor. Unlike the first time I had watched her dance like this, I wasn't her distraction; I was her focus. She wasn't dancing for the room as I had initially thought. She probably couldn't care less about every other person inside this club. As far as she was concerned – as far as we both were concerned – it was just me and Rose.

I allowed my guard to drop, smiling as I accepted her taunting. Without me realizing it, she had moved close enough that I could almost reach out and touch her. The bouncers around the room were a clear sign that doing so would be a grave mistake, but the desire to do so was strong enough to make me shift in my chair due to discomfort.

The movement didn't escape her notice and I could see her lopsided smirk for just a moment as she reveled in the little victory. I assumed she would make the most of the moment by enticing me further, but instead, she moved away. I barely had time to register the sudden change when I saw her stop in front of another man.

He was human, and a pitiful excuse of one at that. I could see that he was already well on his way to not remembering the evening, and his entourage slipped another drink into his hands. He and the others called to her, apparently trying to lure her with promises of misguided devotion and questionable pleasure. I expected her to turn away, as appalled by their drunken behavior as much as I was, but she encouraged them with the sway of her hips and wink.

My blood boiled at the names they called her.  _Beautiful. Sexy. Goddess._  Each compliment sounded vulgar from their tongues. I downed the last quarter of my drink and slammed it to the table a bit harder than I intended, imagining that slack-jaw cracking as easily as the glass.

I had to remind myself over and over that I had no claim over her. Rose was here of her own free will and as long as her patrons didn't cross the line to harassment or assault, there was no reason for me to step in. Even if they did, it wasn't truly my place to protect her. I wasn't a bouncer here, I wasn't her guardian, I wasn't her boyfriend or anything even close to it. Honestly, I wasn't even sure she considered me a friend at the moment. Her radio silence would seem to suggest that I was nothing more than a memory.

I wasn't even depressed about the fact. I was almost angry. I knew some of it had to do with the alcohol in my system, but it also didn't help that my wrath towards the unnamed stranger easily blended with the anger I felt towards Rose and myself. I could feel my temper mounting to dangerous heights when I realized that Rose was hardly oblivious to the whole situation.

Her glance flickered towards me every few moments, watching my reaction as much as those of the men in front of her. The more frustrated I got, the more her eyes came alight. Every time I clenched my fist, she would sway her hips. And every time I bit my tongue, she would bite her lip.

She was getting off on my jealousy.

I shook my head, still frustrated but feeling a slight amusement at her antics. She had me playing right into her hands, and damn her if she didn't know it. As I rolled my shoulders back, relaxing into my seat, I knew two could play this game.

As hard as it was, I pulled my eyes away, taking out my phone and pretending to check my messages. I could almost feel her stare burning into me but I refused to look up. I didn't allow myself to look away until I felt her presence above me.

* * *

** ~ROSE~ **

* * *

I thought I had him, but of course I came in second to his precious guardian duty.  _They come first_. The moment I saw that stupid phone come out, I could feel my rage building. To hell with the routine, this meant war.

Had Wonderland run under a different club license, I might have been willing to pull out the big guns, but the pole would have to do. I gripped the cold metal, feeling the smooth pull of it underneath my palms as my legs kicked up, twisting my body around the fixed point. I used Dimitri as my spot, centering myself on his image.

He was just as focused on me, his back straightening as he continually tried to look away... unsuccessfully. I smirked as he coughed to cover his discomfort. I knew that look. It was the one I saw on the shy and barely legal boy sneaking in for his first taste of the sin city. It was the one on the groom-to-be as he enjoyed his last bit of freedom amongst the rambunctious cheers of his friends. It was the man who was debating between the proper decorum and the primal urge. Dimitri was giving into Wonderland. Dimitri was giving into me. His eyes followed my hand as it traced past my thighs, my hips, my waist, my breasts, up and up until our eyes met. I could practically taste him on my lips again, and feel his heavy breath on my neck.

I could hear the catcalls from the men a little ways away, obviously enjoying the show not meant for anyone else but him. I had danced on this stage a million times, I had heard men like them call after me night after night, and I had never felt embarrassed about who I was and what I did. I thrived on it some nights, using their energy to fuel mine. But something had changed. I felt...exposed. Maybe even violated. Not by them so much, but by the fact that I had been so focused on myself and my own issues that I had forgotten everything and everyone else.

Thankfully, the music ended as my revelation set on, so my sudden shock didn't show as I froze right there on stage. I only came back to reality as the lights around me dimmed. I stepped off stage in a daze, walking right past the other dancers, our stage manager, and straight into the dressing room. All it took was a lone folding chair under the handle to successfully barricade myself in while I needlessly hid behind a rack of skimpy clothes in the corner.

I could feel my breath coming in desperate pants, my mind swirling with so many thoughts and colors that I couldn't make out anything besides my panic. What was I doing? I was done with Dimitri. I was done with Court. I was done with Dhampirs, and Moroi, and anything that was even remotely vampire related. It's my life. I was going to live my life how I wanted and on my own terms.

That's what I had decided. That's what was best. Even  _he_  had agreed.

But that moment, the moment he looked at me, I felt more alive in that one moment than I had any other time in the past two weeks since coming home. That night with Dimitri, the one I useless tried to forget every moment since it happened, was by far the most memorable night of my life and it didn't matter if I was Ivy or Rose. Either way, I wanted him, and more importantly, I wanted us.

And it wasn't just him. As much as I loved Marie, who had taken me in and kept me going, the bond with Lissa was like a magnet pulling me towards her. Now that it was open, it was impossible to close. I could feel her pain, no matter how hard I tried to push her emotions away. I could hear her calling out to me. I couldn't help but check in with her now and then, and while I tried to tell myself that it was just for my own peace of mind, I always came back into my own head feeling worse than before.

When I wasn't miserably lost, trying to get some direction in what I was doing in my life, I felt guilt. Overwhelming, suffocating guilt. I had promised Lissa that I would always be there for her and I basically abandoned her. It had hardly been my choice after Mason's death, but now I was leaving her willingly. I was leaving them all.

I drug my wrist under my nose, wiping away the tears and more that had accumulated, before pulling out my phone. The screen showed one missed message. With one quick message of my own, I steeled my resolve, took a deep breath, fixed my hair and any traces of my breakdown, and opened the door.

The show must go on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene was a bit difficult to get exactly right, but I'm so glad it finally came together. I'm working on my visual imagery and using emotions to create a picture rather than specific technical details. Rose dancing for Dimitri made a great test of that and I'd love to know how you think I did. Did it paint a picture in your mind, even though I didn't go into specifics?
> 
> There's a whole lot of tension between Rose and Dimitri here, in various forms. I know you all love a little jealous Dimitri and I hope that this made you happy. Also, it seems like quite a few of you are excited about Dimitri and Marie teaming up to help Rose. Let's hope that her little break down at the end does us some good.
> 
> Thank you again for all your continued love and support! It was a long week last week filled with both highs and lows, and I wasn't able to finish SK in time. The good news is that I have an EXTRA long chapter coming at you this Saturday so hold on tight :) Don't forget to bookmark, subscribe, comment, and share this story! Thank you again, your kudos are appreciated!


	26. Chapter 26

* * *

–  ** DIMITRI – **

* * *

 

I stared blankly at the empty stage as some loud filler song played before the next number. I wasn't sure what had just happened between me and Rose, but suffice to say, it didn't go as expected. Rose wasn't exactly above using her...natural assets...to persuade people, particularly me, but hot & cold had always been my  _modus operandi_.

A sudden movement from the left caught my attention as Marie plopped down in the empty chair at my table. I was tempted to reject her free booze until I realized that she didn't have any this time. Her arms we splayed over the table, cradling her face though it was all but obscured by her disheveled hair. A moment later she popped back up, leveling me with a tired stare.

"I'm getting too old to work these shifts," she confided.

"What are you? Twenty-five? I'd hardly call that elderly."

"Twenty-four, thank you very much!" She almost looked insulted that I had guessed a year older, and as she pulled out her phone, I knew my punishment was to follow. "No luck tonight. Sorry. I'll do my best to calm her down a little. Do you want to drown your sorrows in whiskey or are we sticking to the nectar of the homeland today?"

My shoulders dipped, letting the weight of my disappointment come to rest. I wasn't exactly surprised, but I had really hoped that she would at least tell me to 'go to hell' herself. "Neither," I replied, shaking my head, "but I would like the name of the cheapest hotel around here."

"With or without bedbugs?" Marie's eyebrow shot up in the way I knew Rose had always envied. I wondered momentarily if it was annoying to her that she was still hopeless at it, especially when it looked like Marie had perfected it. Before I could answer, she continued, "Come on. I'll see if you can stay with a friend."

She walked away as quickly as she had come, and I followed behind using my long strides to close the distance between us. The door marked "Employees Only" opened without any hesitation and she passed through just as briskly, with me following only a moment later. I wasn't sure where she was leading me, but I could see various dancers walking about and assumed that we were somehow back stage. Almost without thinking, I began scanning the area for Rose.

"Jason! Hey! You still got that pull out couch?"

A man I vaguely recognized, though I had no clue from where, turned his head at Marie's shout. He looked me up and down briefly before speaking. "Yeah, what about it?"

"My friend needs a place to crash. You mind giving him a roof for the night? Hopefully he won't be here longer than a day or so."

"Why can't he stay with you?" He looked at me again, offering a half sincere apologetic look. "Sorry man, I don't typically take in drifters I don't know. I prefer not to be killed by ax murders."

"No offense taken," I retorted dryly. He was already chafing at my nerves and I wouldn't mind sleeping something a little more comfortable than a lumpy pull out couch. Sure it was better than a bug infested mattress, but only barely.

"Screw you, Jason. He's a friend of mine and I wouldn't ask if he could stay with me." Her voice lowered a little. "You know Ivy is dealing with some shit right now."

"Then how about I let  _her_  stay over and you can take tall, dark, and Russian here. Then I won't even have to pull out the couch."

His tone was playful, but his suggestion still infuriated me. With a mix of heartache and alcohol in my blood, I was liable to attack him. Thankfully, Marie beat me to the punch. Literally.

"Shit, girl! Have you been working with Ivy again?" He rubbed at his shoulder where he had been struck. "I was only messing with you."

"Well, don't. And even if I can't totally kick your ass, Ivy  _can_  and would be more than happy to. All I need to do is ask, so don't tempt me."

"Fine, fine." His pocket jingled as Jason retrieved his keys, eyeing me skeptically before pulling one from the keyring. "Apartment 4. Marie can give you the address. And I'm holding her personally responsible if any of my stuff goes missing so don't try it."

I accepted his reluctant gift with a just as reluctant grunt of gratitude. "Thanks."

"Whatever," he waved me off. "I need to get back on stage soon. Extra linens are in the closet by the bathroom, couch should be easy enough to find. You're welcome to the fridge but if you eat my lasagna I'll wake you up with ice water. My mom made it and I'm not planning on sharing."

I almost laughed, finding something in common with my host. I wouldn't share my mama's cooking with a random stranger either. "I'll pick up something on the way," I promised.

He nodded before looking away as if he had already grown bored of me, so with one last glance around for Rose, I followed Marie out the same door we had entered in. A piece of scrap paper with some hastily written directions and a take-out bag of burgers and fries later, and I was home sweet home in what had to be the hands down messiest apartment I had ever seen in my life.

 

* * *

** ~ROSE~ **

* * *

 

Marie was asleep by the time I came home, her shift ending about an hour before mine. Dimitri had left sometime after I had texted her and while I was curious to know if she knew where he went, I wasn't curious enough to wake her up. She was sassy on her best days; wake her up and she was downright bitchy.

Instead, I grabbed the last of the sweet 'n sour chicken from the fridge, going between that and my silent phone. I kept waiting for something. A call, a text, I wasn't sure what I was expecting but it never came. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. When he wanted to be, Dimitri could honestly be just as stubborn, if not more so than me. I must have been on edge, anticipating his next move.

With a sigh, I dropped my fork into the sink and the empty white box into the trash. It needed to go out but I didn't have the energy to walk two flights of stairs at 4am so I let it stand. If I was lucky, Marie would be annoyed enough by it in the morning and I wouldn't have to do it at all. My cheap bed felt like heavenly clouds as I fell into the blankets and I was thrilled to put an end to the day.

But...I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning, flipping the pillow to find a new cool place to rest my head. The thought crossed my mind that what I really needed was a warm body. Once the thought was there, it was hard to put out of my mind, but even my own hand wasn't enough to relax me tonight. Frustrated, in more ways than one, I finally gave up on the idea and flipped on the television. I don't know how many infomercials I watched before I finally drifted off, but the next thing I knew, I was standing on wooden deck, overlooking a wide expanse of spruce and snow. I reflexively hugged my arms to my chest, trying to rub warmth into them even though I didn't feel cold. Why wasn't I cold? I should feel cold.

My question was answered a moment later when I heard footsteps behind me.

"You know, the first time I saw you, I knew you'd be trouble."

"Then why did you talk to me? I was perfectly content to ignore you."

Adrian gave a sly smile. "I knew I was unforgettable. When did you start to remember?"

Though we seemed to be the only ones caught in this spirit dream, I could see moments projected from my memory and onto the familiar surroundings. Over by the old shed where Eddie had surprised me and Mason with a snowball sneak attack. The moguls where Mason had missed one turn and nearly broke his ankle for it. I knew if I turned around, I would see the hallway where, if you went ten or so yards in and turned left, and then maybe walked another 15 feet...I kissed Mason. Heartbreak and alcohol might have clouded my judgment on that one a little, but I could almost feel the way his lips worked against mine and how different – how  _wrong_  – it felt in comparison to Dimitri.

Maybe I should been over it. I mean, it had been years since Mason had died, but it only felt like weeks to me. The memory was still too fresh and raw. I still hadn't really cried of the loss of one of my oldest friends but it seemed almost inappropriate to do so now. The mourning period was over, right? Everyone else had already come to peace with his loss, and now it was time to move on. The world didn't stop just because I wasn't there to witness it.

"At the reception. During the attack."

"Is that why you left?"

I winced. "Maybe?" Not really. I wasn't really afraid of Strigoi, or at least no more than any mortal should be. I was more fearful about living than dying. Dying as a guardian was easy, living as one was the hard part. I left because I was confused, worried, and yes, maybe even a little scared to see how I could fit in in that world.

"Really?" Adrian seemed as skeptical as I was.

I didn't answer, my silence more telling than anything.

"Look, it doesn't really matter why you left. The real question is if you are coming back. Lissa misses you, everyone misses you. Even Belikov has been more broody than normal."

I gave a sharp laugh, "Yeah, I know. He showed up at work tonight."

"Work? I knew I should have volunteered for the trip."

I knocked my hip playfully against his, pushing him off balance for a moment against the railing we were both looking out over. "He said that the guardian council wants to give me my marks. I couldn't care one little bit about those, but I'm kinda pissed that he only came on their errand."

Adrian let out a sigh, wrapping one arm around my shoulders as I laid my head against his chest. "Give the poor man a break. I think he was trying to give you some space. Trust me, his aura is even more of a mess than yours. He probably would have snapped in another day or so and stolen a car or something to get out here."

I smiled at straight laced Dimitri ever doing something as reckless as grand theft auto. "You think he actually knows how to hot wire a car?"

A rumble sounded in Adrian's chest. "If he doesn't, I'm sure your dad could teach him. Granted, Abe could probably lend him one...but what's the fun in that?"

Our laughter eventually dissolved into silence, punctuated by the occasional creak of wood or the hiss of wind. As close as we currently were, I felt nothing romantic for Adrian. I was glad the awkwardness of his persistent chase was finally behind us, because his easy friendship was so much more welcomed at the moment. No pressure, no begging, no guilt, just acceptance.

"So if I come back, and that is a big if, mind you," Adrian smiled, acknowledging the conditional terms of my words, "If I come back, can I hide out at your place if things get to be too much?"

Adrian's arms opened invitingly, pulling me in to his embrace. "I'll do you one better: come back, and if it gets too much, I'll personally pay for your ticket back out there to Vegas."

I looked up at him, finding complete sincerity where I expected empty promises, and smiled. "First class?"

He squeezed me once more, chuckling into my hair. "I wouldn't dream of anything else. However, you are probably wanting your rest now."

I nodded, somewhat reluctant to let go of this moment of peace. "I'll text you."

As the scenery glittered and faded around me, I could see one last coy smile. "Sure you will."

I didn't even have time to insist that I would before he disappeared before my eyes, leaving me in an inky black abyss that faded into a much more normal dream that included hot naked guys on unicorns.

* * *

 

The next morning, nearly noon with my messed up schedule, I was met with the best scent in the world. Bacon. Thank God Marie was better at cooking than I was. I could barely boil water, but give this girl some bacon and eggs and she could make a breakfast that could cure the world's worst hangover. My plate was hitting the table the moment I walked into the kitchen.

"'Morning!"

"Good morning sunshine." Marie took her place across from me. "Sleep well?"

"Umm, yeah. I guess." I spoke around my forkful of scrambled eggs and cheese. "Why?"

"'Cause we're having company over later."

"Marie...no."

"Uh uh. He flew all the way out here to see you, the least you can do is talk to him. Now, do you want to invite him over or will I?"

My fork clanged to the table, my appetite suddenly gone. "And if I don't want to see him?"

"Not an option," she smiled deceptively sweet as she took a big bite of her meal.

I rolled my eyes, pushing away from the table and crossing my arms like a petulant child. She ignored my little outburst, knowing exactly how to handle me after years of living together. Annoyed that my antics were completely inept when it came to her, I finally gave in. "Fine. I'll text him..."

"... and I will too, just to make sure you did."

I glared at her, making her laugh. "But one meeting. He can say his peace and then that's it. No more teaming up against me. You're supposed to be on my side."

Marie reached out, taking my hand across the table. "I  _am_  on your side. That's why I'm doing this."

It was too early for so many emotions. I could feel my eyes misting up as I confessed my worries to her. "I don't know what to do. I don't know where I belong. My past is there, but I'm not sure I fit in anymore. Plus, I don't want to leave you here. You've done so much for me and I can't just walk away like that meant nothing to me."

"Oh goodness, you don't need to worry about me." Marie waved her hand in front of her face, effectively brushing aside my worry. "Besides, I've been thinking..."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I never really had the chance to finish school and I think I'm finally ready to go back. I don't want to be a Vegas bartender forever. I can't imagine you want to spend the rest of your life dancing for drunken bachelor parties."

"Oh, God no." The idea was about as horrid as they came. Sure, it was easy money and I didn't mind actually dancing, but it got old after a while.

"Well, let me put your fears to rest. If you decide to go back East, if you decide to stay, then I will be fine. I've been looking at the UNLV and they have a decent Social Work program."

Marie always talked about opening a home for young women who found themselves pregnant with no one to turn to. She didn't want to let another girl suffer a lonely night on the streets, fretting between her unborn child and the premature death of her childhood. She would be an amazing mentor for them. "You sure about this? Are you ready to take that leap?"

She gave an easy smile. "Are you kidding? If I could pluck you off the streets and make you decent for civilized company, some preggo delinquent should be no problem."

"Let me know if you ever need a recommendation."

"I guess the better question is: are YOU ready to finally move on? Especially now that you've learned who you are. Are you ready for that?"

"Correction." Bits of toast sprayed from my mouth, much to Marie's distaste, as I replied, "I know who I was...but yeah, I think I'm ready to figure out who I am."

* * *

 

Of course, Marie had  _somewhere_  to be the moment Dimitri knocked on our door. I rolled my eyes at her lame excuse as she pushed passed me.

"Be good you two!" She called out behind her.

I cringed, resisting the urge to hide my embarrassment behind my hands. "Sorry about that."

Dimitri looked at me with a soft and amused smile. "She doesn't strike me as the subtle type."

"Yeah," I agreed, "She's about as subtle as I am."

He didn't argue, and took me up on my offer for some water before we awkwardly sat across from each other on the couch. It was second-hand and hardly attractive to look at, but it was comfortable and big enough for when we were gathered around the latest episode of The Walking Dead. At the moment though, it felt way too small.

I shifted uncomfortably, not any more sure than he apparently was on how to start this. After watching the numbers on the clock change a few times, Dimitri cleared his throat.

"So...I'm sorry; I don't even know what to call you."

"Honestly, I don't really know either. I've been going by Ivy here, since that's what everyone knows me by."

"Would you like me to call you Ivy?"

The question took me aback for a moment. His question was completely sincere, and I knew he would if I asked. However, my name – my new name – sounded so wrong on his lips. I shook my head, only flashing my eyes to his for a moment.

"Rose then?" He questioned, as if needed confirmation.

I silently nodded, even though it wasn't quite the truth. I'd prefer him to call me Roza, the way he had on those few but special moments between us where we were completely open with one another.

Dimitri gave a big sigh, but it sounded more in distress than relief. "So. Rose...

He trailed off again and I ventured to look up from my hands to see why. The cushions underneath me shifted as he turned on the seat to face me properly.

"You know what, I'm sorry. I had this whole speech planned out, and now that I'm here in front of you, I have no idea what to say."

I licked my lips, biting down on my bottom one for just a moment until I saw his eyes flash to the movement. "What...what do you  _want_ to say?"

"Come back. Please." He stopped, looking almost as surprised as I was by the hasty but honest confession. Then, as if throwing caution to the wind, he continued quickly, "I want to beg you to come back and not just to get your marks. I want you to stay. I know I told you to go, and there are so many reasons for you to leave and never look back but I hope that this is enough reason to stay. We love you. We miss you. We want you to come home."

"We?" It was a small question, but the pain behind it was real.

He nodded, solemnly. "Yes, we. Lissa. Eddie. Even Christian, though I know you'd have to beat the admission out of him. We all miss you. We all love you."

I took a deep breath, and he took my hand.

"But mostly me, Roza." My heart went still. "I love you. I miss you. I...I need you to come home. I don't expect you to feel the way you once did about me – I know that isn't realistic or fair to you – and I can't promise that I won't still love you regardless, but I need to know that you are okay. I need to be able to see you every once and a while. I would rather have you as a friend than as some distant memory. I've already lived without you once...I can't do it again."

The room went silent for a while after that. I was completely speechless, and while thoughts were running a million miles an hour through my mind, nothing seemed to make it past my lips. I could see the mounting tension and fear building in Dimitri's eye with each passing moment, and just before he slipped his hand from mine in defeat...I spoke.

"Okay."

"What?"

I mentally chastised myself for not being more eloquent after his speech, but repeated myself anyways. "I said, 'okay.' I'll come with you. I'll go...home." The last word felt a little odd, but it didn't change my mind.

After the initial shock wore off, he laughed. It wasn't the laugh that I had gotten a few times back at the academy when something I said had taken him by such surprise that he didn't know what else to do (though, I'm sure there was still a bit of that surprise in there somewhere) nor was it the easy laugh we shared on occasion while training. This laugh was one of pure, unbridled joy. I could see his hand and arms flex, reaching out and pulling back from me over and over again as he fought the apparent urge to hug me.

So I went to him instead, scooting close enough for him to wrap me in his arms as his smile and deep laughter grew, body shaking. I couldn't help but laugh with him.

He didn't press me for anything more, no heated kiss or urgent passion erupted between us, but I did feel him tuck a small kiss between the strands of hair at my temple and hear a soft whisper.

"Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LONG LIVE ROMITRI! I told you I wouldn't keep them apart long :) And how is that for Dimitri laying it all on the line?
> 
> However, what does this mean for Rose? What does this mean for their relationship? We aren't quite at happily ever after so hold on tight!
> 
> Thank you again for all your love and support! You guys are always there with a kind word of encouragement and it really makes a big difference when the going gets tough. If you haven't done so already, I'd love for you to favorite, follow, and review. Many of you have also shared this story with friends and that means the world to me. Thank you again and I'll see you guys next week!


	27. Chapter 27

–  **DIMITRI –**

* * *

We spent the rest of the day putting everything in order for Rose's return. If we hurried, we'd have just time to make the original flight arrangements that Lissa had put together for this evening. Marie arrived back at the apartment a half an hour or so after Rose agreed to return to Court, and didn't seem surprised at all at the news.

"What about rent?" Rose seemed worried about every aspect of leaving Marie behind, and I couldn't help but wonder just how much of an imposition Rose's sudden departure would be for her friends and life here. Things like shared rent and termination notice had never been a part of my life and I hadn't factor it into the equation initially. "Do you have enough time to find another roommate? I can pay my portion for next month too, maybe even the month after that."

"Ivy, sweetie. It's fine. We just paid Eric yesterday, and I'm sure I could give him our 30 day notice if we needed to. But we don't. I just heard last week that Rachel was looking for a new place and I bet she'd jump on the chance to take your old room. It'll be fine. I'll be fine."

I didn't know any of the names that Marie mentioned, but her assurance seemed to calm Rose a little.

"What we  _do_ need to worry about is how we're going to pack up everything before tonight. I was hoping we could grab some In-N-Out before you guys leave for the airport. You know they don't have them on the East Coast, right?"

"Oh crap. I didn't think about that," Rose stared off with a bit of concern in her tone.

It took me a second to realize that Rose was more worried about the burger joint than packing up her belongings.

It turns out that Rose hadn't gathered many personal items during her time here, and since she had a fully stocked room set up with Lissa, she didn't care about bringing many items like her bedding or a second hand table lamp. After loading up a small suitcase of clothing, many of which had come back here from Court anyways, and a box or two of small trinkets, Rose's room was ready to go. I used an old catalog page to wrap the last picture frame – one containing a photo Marie and Rose dressed as an angel and devil, respectively – and set it into one box while Rose slid several notebooks beside it. I recognized a familiar black one just before she closed the box and taped it shut without bothering to mark the contents.

"That's the last of it," she declared. Her hands came together over her head as she arched the fatigue out of her back and I turned away before my gaze drifted down her body. Despite Rose coming home, there were still a few things we needed to talk about on a more personal level and I wasn't about to take any liberties until we did. "Jason wasn't exactly thrilled that I'm leaving work so abruptly, but he'll survive. He's just overacting, I think. Losing a dancer with so little notice isn't nearly as hard as losing a good bartender."

"I hear that!" Marie's too-eager agreement earned a playful smack from her soon-to-be ex-roommate. She continued with a good natured laugh. "Sorry hun. I don't mean to sound rude, 'cause you're one of the best. Still, by the time I'm done slinging drinks at those boys, they aren't able to tell you apart from the pole itself."

The girls fell into a fit of laughter as I tried to stay silent and unnoticeable on the other side of the room. Thankfully, blending into the background was a fairly common tool in the guardian's arsenal and they continued on as if I wasn't there.

"Are you sure I'm not putting you through any trouble? I can stay here a little longer if you need me too."

My back tensed at the question, the hairs on my neck silently standing on end as I anticipated the Marie's response with bated breath.

"I'll be fine," Marie insisted, "and I'm not about to unpack all of your stuff. Just give me a hug and let's go get some food."

"Fine," she agreed, stepping into the waiting embrace. Her next words were muffled slightly by Marie's shoulder, "but I'm buying. Okay?"

"Deal."

* * *

After dropping all but the suitcase off at a local shipping center, eating what could only be described as the world's messiest fries and what Rose was still insisting to be the most delicious burger (though, it was the last time I would ever allow her to order for me), plus a few tears that I firmly decided to ignore as Marie and Rose shared one final hug before we walked into the airport...I could finally relax. Some part of me half expected Rose to suddenly change her mind. Honestly, I wouldn't blame her if she did.

The truth of the matter was that nothing had really changed in the few weeks since she had left. Rose's place at Court was still undetermined. She was still Unpromised. She was still a dhampir in a society that saw us as second class. She was still walking into a world that was as unsettling as it was before she left.

The amount of sacrifice that Rose was making hit me all at once, and for a moment I felt my chest contract painfully. She was looking out the window while the final few passengers stowed their luggage and found their seats, and I could practically feel the anxiety radiating off of her. Of course, when she caught me staring, she tried to comfort me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I replied, swallowing my worries. "I'm just glad you're here. Thanks for coming back."

"Thank you for coming to get me." Her grin fell a little as she continued. "I guess I'm just wondering what happens next."

"Me too. But don't stress about it too much. We'll figure things out. I'm here for you, Rose. I promise." I hadn't even realized I had reached for her hand until I felt her squeeze mine in response. Our hands were still clasped when the next words spilled from her mouth.

"I want to take things slow."

"Excuse me?" She lost me somewhere, though admittedly I had gotten a little distracted.

"You and I. I...can we please take things slow?" She glanced at me almost shyly before her rant pressed forward quickly before I could answer. "I want to get to know you. I know we were close and I know those feelings are still there but you've changed, and I've changed, and I don't know if I can just pick up where we left off, you know? I'm not sure if I can just jump right back into bed, not that I regret sleeping with you – really, I don't, because you are amazing – but I'm not sure if it's a good idea to get caught up in all that until we have time to get reacquainted and figure things out. So...is that okay?"

A pretty blush colored her cheeks, and while my answer was obvious, it took me a second to say anything because I was almost amused at her concern. "Of course, Roza. We can take things at whatever pace you're comfortable with. To be honest, I'm really looking forward to getting to know you. We've never really had the chance to court properly, and I would love to take you out on a real date like you deserve."

Rose smirked at me, her dimple becoming prominent on one cheek with that lopsided smile. "Court?"

I shrugged and replied off-handily, "Call me old-fashioned. I'm a traditionalist."

"No kidding," she laughed before hesitantly moving my arm around to settle on her shoulders as she laid her head against my chest for the long plane ride back to Court.

After a few minutes of silence...I couldn't help it any longer. "Amazing?"

Rose quickly turned to hide her face in my shirt. "Oh, shut it." Through her laughter, I could feel the heat rise in her cheeks and her lips work upwards in a little grin.

I've never had to think too hard about breathing, but at this moment, I had to remind myself that air was necessary to life because I was fairly certain that I could survive on the feeling of her smile against my heart forever. I relaxed my arm, tucking her just a little tighter, and focused on keeping my breath even so she could rest comfortably as long as she wanted to. As the plane took off, I smiled with the realization that Rose wasn't the only one coming home, but I'd finally be home too.

* * *

** ~ ROSE ~ **

* * *

I don't know what was more nerve wracking: not knowing what was waiting for me, or knowing  _exactly_ what was waiting for me. I could feel Lissa's excitement before we ever made it to the wards.

"Did you tell them?"

"Tell what to whom?" Dimitri's eyes never left the road. We had taken a traditional airline since none of the Moroi were traveling with us and security wasn't quite the hassle it typically would be. Now, Dimitri was driving us the short distance from the closest airport to Court.

I gave a horrible rendition of his trademark eyebrow. "Don't play coy with me, Comrade. Did you tell Lissa? Anyone."

"I told them that you were coming back, nothing...else." He left the word hanging there, in all its unnerving glory.

Part of me wished he  _had_  told, because then it would have been done with. I couldn't exactly pretend that I didn't remember everything now. Even if Dimitri could keep his lips sealed, which wouldn't have been fair to him or anyone else, Adrian was bound to blow the secret at the worst possible moment, especially if spirit or the drink got the better of him.

_The sooner, the better,_  I determined, biting my lip as if it would stamp and seal the internal promise to myself. I still had no idea HOW I would tell everyone, only that I needed to.

By the time we passed the guard station, and the guardian who still checked Dimitri's ID despite calling him by name while simultaneously checking me in as a visitor, I was starting to second guess my determination to spill the beans right away. Lissa was waiting for us on the porch of the town house, Christian and Eddie lounging nearby, and she bolted for us faster than I had ever seen her run the moment we came into view.

I braced myself for impact moments before the short blonde projectile made impact, her arms circling around my neck and her face burrowing into my plane-frazzled hair.

"Don't you ever leave me like that again!" Lissa demanded into my shoulder. "I swear, you're going to give me abandonment issues."

Eddie and Christian finally made it, one significantly more winded from the jog than the other and I bit back the insult on my lips. At least...until he spoke.

"Seriously" Sparky gasped between breaths, "you really do have a thing for running away."

"You really want to talk about running right now, huff-n-puff?"

Eddie hid his chuckle between a cough, unsuccessfully, and we both shared in Christian's glare.

Dimitri had already insisted on carrying my main bag, and Eddie stole my backpack as we made our way back to the town house. Lissa linked arms with me, almost determined to keep me within arm's reach as if that was the only thing that would keep me from disappearing again. Maybe I  _had_  given the poor girl abandonment issues, and who could blame her for having them. Her entire family had passed away, her pseudo uncle had tried to kidnap her and use her as a personal fountain of youth, I had been assumed dead before ever reaching graduation. Then, almost as soon as I had returned, I disappeared again. I wouldn't be surprised if she locked me in that nice room she set up for me and threw away the key.

I figured it was better not to find out quite yet, so as Dimitri and Eddie brought my things to my room, I called out to Christian. "Hey, once you catch your breath, how do you feel about making meatloaf for a crowd tonight?"

He rolled his eyes but glanced towards the clock anyways. "Yeah, I think I can do that."

"Great. Liss, do you mind if my parents come over for dinner? Adrian too?"

"Yeah, sure, this is your home too, you know."

Her assurance did nothing to sooth me, but I nodded to appease her reassurance while reaching into my pocket to finger the small "visitor" badge I had been given earlier.

As I made small talk, discussing things like work and Marie, and biding my time before dropping the bomb, I could practically feel the clock ticking. Adrian showed up first, wrapping me in a comforting hug with a few quiet words of encouragement. My parents showed up, the picture of punctuality, just as the oven timer sounded. Abe...Dad...looked significantly more excited to see me than my mother. Janine just looked...disappointed. Figures. I guess I shouldn't have expected anything different.

"Abe, Janine." I greeted them with the same handshakes they had given me only a few weeks before. Janine allowed it while Abe pulled me in for more.

"Good to see you, Little Girl. Thought we misplaced you again."

"I can see why, Old Man. You're getting forgetful in your old age. Don't worry. It happens to the best of us I hear."

"Rosemarie," Mother snapped while my father laughed. "You shouldn't talk to your father like that."

"I shouldn't greet you with a handshake either, but hey, that's life." It was way too early in the evening to be picking fights but between my frazzled nerves and my already stressed relationship with the people that created me, this night was pretty close to matching the disaster of our previous dinner.

"Dinner's ready!"

Thank God. Saved by the dinner bell.

It seemed like my mother and I were calling a truce for the time being, with warning glances from Dimitri and my father facilitating the cease fire as we sat down. However, things weren't so bad. Besides some good-natured ribbing from Adrian, Christian, and Eddie about disappearing and a forced promise from both Lissa and my mother to never do so again, or at least to leave more than a note next time, conversation was able to flow relatively easy.

Thankfully, time went quickly and I didn't have too much time to think about what came next. Eventually though, the plates were cleared and the night was coming to an end. It was now or never, and never wasn't an option. As we sat down with some cocoa and peanut butter cookies, I cleared my throat with a cough.

"So, I thought I should mention something to everyone tonight."

"Oh?" Lissa dipped her cookie daintily into her cocoa, and though it was a casual night with friends and family, she could easily be picked up from her living room, placed into Buckingham Palace, and still fit right in with the Queen of England.

"Yeah," I stalled nervously, taking another sip just to keep from having to say it a moment longer. "I remember."

I scanned over the faced, gauging for various reactions and not sure what to expect. Dimitri was a bit wide eyed, as if he wasn't quite sure I'd actually admit this tonight. Adrian seemed a bit proud of me, though I guess the color of my aura probably revealed my building nerves so I couldn't give him too much credit. Lissa peered closer, perhaps looking for the same aura clues that Adrian had been reading all night, though he knew the meaning long before. Eddie seemed to be intuitively coming to the correct conclusion and immediately turned to Dimitri to confirm his suspicion, which I gather has been a long ingrained pattern to their professional relationship. My mother and father, plenty smart and intuitive on their own, seem to hit the same conclusion at the same time. Only Christian, too distracted by his baked sweet in his hand, asked the obvious.

"What'd you remember?"

"Pretty much everything."

He noisily slurped some of the thick foam from his mug, licking the remains from his upper lip as he rolled his eyes at me, obliviously unaware of the others' stares. "Yeah, that doesn't tell me much."

"Rose?" The quiet whimper was equal parts hopeful and confused.

I set my dessert aside, not entirely sure what to expect next. I was half expecting Lissa to embrace me, and the other half of me was ready to run for my life in necessary. Either way, I nodded, confirming her vague question.

"When? When did you start to remember?" This one was from my mother, and I should have expected as much. It wasn't an emotion based question, but a logistical one. She needed facts before she could figure out a plan of action.

"It was all at once. At the reception, during the attack, while I was fighting. I think seeing Eddie falter for a moment was too close to Mason." I felt my breath steal away subconsciously, confirming as much. At the same time, Eddie's eyes met mine and it seemed like it was almost too much for us both to handle at right then. He looked away first. "It triggered something, and they all came back."

"Yet you still left?" Christian's arm was around Lissa, and though the words came from his snarky mouth, the question was in her eyes. He was simply voicing it, and even shot me a small look of sympathy for doing so. I think he understood, but it needed to be said and it sounded better coming from him than from his wife and my best friend.

"Sorry," I replied with just as much sass, which I wouldn't have been able to muster for Lissa in the same situation, "I was a tad overwhelmed. I was planning on leaving before, and I didn't see how this made the situation any different. If anything, I had that much more reason to step back and think things through."

The room was silent, with varying emotions on various people. I knew that I shouldn't expect everyone to be thrilled that I remembered everything and didn't come home right away, but coming to terms with it still sucked. Adrian was quiet, but encouraging, as was Dimitri. Eddie seemed completely lost within himself. Christian looked disappointed yet understanding, and bore a strikingly similar expression to my father which terrified me to no end. It was almost as upsetting as seeing both my mother and Lissa somewhat irritated at me. Sure, that was somewhat expected from my mother, almost a default emotion by now, but it took quite a bit for Lissa to be mad at me. Even worse, she was blocking her private thoughts from me. Whatever was on her mind, she didn't want me to know it.

With a deep breath, and taking the all-or-nothing approach, I continued. "I promise, it's nothing personal. I love you guys. You've been wonderful to me, but, you have to see that I made this whole other life for myself and had other options that I had to consider too. Ones that seemed more...normal, I guess. But, I'm back. And I'm staying. I don't know exactly what that means yet, and I can't promise I'll be the same Rose you guys remember back from the Academy, even with my old memories back, because I still have those years I lived as Ivy, but...I'm here now, and I want to be here with you guys." I paused, feeling insanely vulnerable despite the fact that I was surrounded by the people who had known me longer and loved me more than anyone else in the world. "Is that okay?"

I'm sure it was only a moment, but the pause seemed like an eternity, and it was Dimitri who broke it first. "Of course Rose," He stepped forward, making a grand and very unexpected display of public affection by actually giving me a hug in front of another living soul, "Of course it is."

I hid my shaky breath of relief in his shirt, grateful for the privacy his arms provided even if it was just for a small moment. He had barely released me before another pair of surprisingly strong arms took over. Eddie.

"We're always here for you Rose. No matter what."

One by one, everyone offered their support. Even Abe, who reminded me that it really didn't matter much, since we were starting fresh either way. Finally, there was only Adrian who sat like the Cheshire Cat on the back of the sofa with a lazy grin on his face.

"I don't know, Little Dhampir. Abandoning everyone after remembering everything? That's pretty low. I might need a little more motivation to forgive you."

"Adrian!" Lissa's outrage was now in full force, most likely because she was thinking something similar only a few moments prior, yet he seemed completely calm and collected as if nothing was amiss.

I could feel Dimitri's hand slyly touch my lower back, either in protection or support, but the moment Adrian spoke again, it clenched into an angry fist.

"What? All I'm saying is that she learned some special skills on the outside, and I might be more willing to accept her apology if she used them to persuade me a little."

Everyone was immediately aghast, and it looked like everyone was willing to fight him on my behalf, including gentle Lissa, but the little smirk on his face told me that his motivation was anything but sexual. I returned it just as quickly.

"Uh-huh, sure. Hey, Liss? Adrian knew, by the way. He was aware I had my memories back before I even set foot in Court."

Two seconds later, he was being attacked by a little blonde spit-fire and all the self-justified fury her two little manicured hands could manage. The guardians did nothing to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the unexpected hiatus. I'm not going to give any long winded apology or excuse. Long story short was that life demanded that I step back and devote some extra time to my family and myself. I want to give a BIG thank you to everyone who stood by me through this break. I didn't receive a SINGLE negative note over the past few weeks, only lots of positive messages of support, love, and well wishes. You guys are truly amazing and I can't tell you how much those little messages in my inbox meant to me on those tougher moments. You got be through some days. Thank you :)
> 
> Rose is BACK! Everybody knows! Dimitri showed public affection! But...now what? What happens next?
> 
> Thank you again for sticking by me and I am ready to post Shadow Kiss DPOV on Saturday night and I fully plan on posting the next chapter of MitM next week :) Have a wonderful week everyone and I hope you had a great Thanksgiving for those of you in the US.


	28. Chapter 28

–  ** DIMITRI – **

* * *

Under a normal timescale, it took anywhere from a week to ten days to process the paperwork for a guardian to get their marks for a Strigoi kill. It was usually on the longer end of things if there was any reason to get the alchemists involved, but even then, they preferred to deal with us as little as possible and tended to be efficient. However, the attack at Christian and Lissa's wedding was anything but ordinary.

First and foremost, it was at Court: the most highly warded and guarded Moroi compound on the planet. The fact that any threat got in, let alone an attack of that size, was something to be severely concerned about. Investigations were still ongoing about the matter but I personally had little knowledge about the details except for providing information about guest lists and the like.

Second, it was a large scale attack. They were becoming more and more common unfortunately, but this was one of the largest we had seen in a while. We hadn't been fully unprepared like we would have been several years ago, but our security and defense tactics against such an attack were still fairly new. This meant that there were a large number of casualties on both sides. It took almost a day and a half to gather the full numbers and notify all of the next of kin.

Third, this had been an event on an international scale. Politically, it was a mess. Dignitaries from several countries with many different family ties were involved, and more started calling in almost immediately after the news broke. Speaking of news, the Moroi world wasn't without its own version of media, and the press had been fairly hungry for any information they could get. Guardians had been working almost as hard at corralling them as they had been at re-securing the wards.

So now, just over three weeks later, all the paperwork was finally settled and ready and the Zvezda ceremony was scheduled for tomorrow morning. Hans had notified me only a few hours ago and after a quick text to Eddie, who was working a shift, I was making my way over to the house to let Rose know.

We hadn't spoken much about the marking ceremony, and I wanted to give her some information about what to expect so that it wouldn't be a total surprise. I think a part of her was still trying to put off thinking about it too much. I knew she was still trying to process all that had happened, and while it may not be completely healthy to postpone dealing with certain realities, she was actually adjusting to life fairly well. She was simply taking it one day at a time.

Making my way up the creaky staircase, I could see that the door to her room was closed, but the light shining underneath hinted that she was inside. However, my knocks still went unanswered. I hesitantly cracked it open, making sure that she wasn't sleeping or somehow indecent before venturing in any further.

Instead, I found her laying on her bed, headphones over her ears, feet kicking in time with some unknown beat she was humming along to. In front of her were a spread of various papers, and as I got closer, I could see they were a mixture of newspapers, fliers, and multiple internet tabs open on her laptop.

"What are you researching?"

She jumped slightly, pulling her large red headphones off her head so that they hung around her neck, and looking up and me in surprise, quickly followed by relief.

"Oh, nothing much," she sighed. She closed the laptop and started cleaning up the papers, inviting me to sit beside her. "I'm taking a look at some of the job openings around here. There aren't a ton that I've been able to find so far – it looks like you kinda need to know somebody, if you know what I mean – but I've found a couple of options."

"Have you talked to Lissa yet?"

She looked at me shyly before answering. "I haven't really told her yet. I'm looking for a job, but I'm looking for an apartment too. I don't know how well she'll take that."

_Not very well,_  I thought, but I didn't tell her that. Lissa was still fairly intent on keeping Rose as close as possible, and took several days off of work when she came back to Court. Rose had allowed it for a few days, but eventually put her foot down and demanded some space. We left for the gym less than ten minutes after the conversation and didn't come home until the sun had risen high over the courthouse bell tower.

"Did you find anything?" It didn't matter if I was talking about the apartment or job, I was curious either way.

Her huffed response wasn't encouraging. "No. Like I said, there aren't many jobs available. And I found a couple of apartments, but without a job, I can't afford them. I could just take one of the jobs at the chain stores or something but even if that was enough to really get by, it isn't that easy..."

She trailed off, going through some of her papers again. "What do you mean?"

"My name."

She stated it so distractedly, I almost wondered if I had heard her right and made a small hum of question.

"My name," she repeated, confirming my doubt. "It's still legally Ivy. I have to figure out how to change it or work around it or...something. I don't even know what to do about the whole social security number situation, or explain to my social worker back in Nevada that I'm 'oh, I'm actually a half vampire' without sounding like I'm crazy, or -"

"Whoa, Rose. Rose, relax." I pulled the papers out of her hands, surprised when she immediately reached out to me. Without hesitation, I pulled her closer still, settling her in my lap, with her arms around my neck and my own around her waist. Her face tucked into my collar, nuzzling between the scruff on my jaw and the softer skin of my shoulder. I swear I could feel her body relax as she took a deep breath and I smiled as I started to smooth her head back while she calmed down again.

"That's it Rose," I finally speak when her breathing evens out. "And don't worry. I'm so sorry that you were stressing over all this. I would have said something sooner had I known. We have a whole group of people called Alchemists who can help get the legal paperwork with your identity in order. Just tell me what you need and I'll work with you to make it happen, okay? I don't know how long it will take, but we'll get it done."

She nodded against my shoulder, not saying anything but at least she didn't seem on the verge of a panic attack anymore.

I took another breath, enjoying the closeness that was starting to seem less desperate and more pleasurable. "What's next, the apartment? I have to ask, why do you want to move? You know that Lissa and Christian would let you stay as long as you'd like here?"

"I know," she purred as I continued to play with her hair while she rested against me. "It's not that I don't want to live here with you guys. I just feel like I owe so much to Lissa as it is. I'd like to really do something for myself for a change. I know you are all happy to help, I just want to stand on my own two feet for a while."

"What, several years on the outside wasn't enough for you?" I was only teasing her, but there was a grain of truth to it also.

"You'd think, right?" She laughed, drawing one from me as well. "The truth is, I just want that independence. I know Lissa's not going to let me do things like pay rent as long as I'm staying with you guys. I don't think I've even done the dishes since moving in. Maybe I shouldn't be complaining, but I like those little bits of normalcy. I don't mind having a roommate or something like that, but there's a very small part of me that misses the days of doing laundry and procrastinating taking out the trash in hopes that Marie would break first."

"Yeah, that sounds like quite the life." And it did. I could already start to imagine it, but instead of Rose waiting for Marie to break and finally take out the trash, that would be my chore, and I'd do my best to have it done before she ever had to ask. She'd wash the dishes, I'd dry, or the other way around if she'd prefer. We'd spend some evenings doing nothing more than resting in quiet comfort on the couch, curled next to one another. She would probably enjoy some new movie or television show and I'd dig into some classic book I've read a thousand times before and had memorized so I could pretend to be engrossed in it while I simply watched her fall asleep in my arms. I can imagine carrying her to bed and tucking her in, maybe slipping in beside her and holding her close again...

No. That's the total opposite of what she asked. We're supposed to be going slow. Living together, even if we got a two bedroom place, probably wouldn't fall under that definition. I shook the pleasant daydream from my mind, at least for the moment, and moved to the next topic of discussion. "So, what's holding you back right now? Are there not any listings?"

"No, there's a few listings, but nothing I can really afford. I need a job first and with what I'm finding right now, I need a job  _and_ a roommate."

The temptation to offer to move in together was on the tip of my tongue again, especially since I had my own savings that have been set aside. A good portion of my salary had been going back home to my family in Russia ever since I started working, but since Karo got married last year and Vika graduated and was now working as a guardian herself, there was less of a need for my support. With no better place to put it, I've simple been letting it collect interest in savings. I could easily cover the rent on a nice place for a while, whether or not she had a job, and of course I wouldn't expect anything in return. But that wasn't much different than what Lissa was offering her now, was it?

"Well, we better start looking for a job for you. Did any of job postings stand out to you?"

"A small coffee shop is looking for a barista. It's pretty poor pay, but there are tips, so that's a start. There's also a waitress job at one of the more high end places here, but they want a few years of experience and while I have some, I don't have quite enough. I'll probably try anyways since the worse they can do is turn me down. The only other promising one was something I heard through the grapevine and haven't checked out yet. Someone mentioned a place called the Red Room Club was looking for a dancer. Have you heard of it?"

The moment she mentioned the club, a shady place that I had only heard about through stories from desperate guardians and sleazy businessmen, I stiffened. I think she noticed the change immediately because she gave me a questioning look.

"I've heard of it. Rose, I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to tell you what to do, but that club isn't like Wonderland. Those girls aren't protected any more than you were at the gala. Worse, even. I hate the thought of what could happen to you. I know you are more than capable of protecting yourself, but you may not be entitled to do so, even there."

She looked at me with a disgusted awe, almost in disbelief. Once she saw I wasn't joking, not even close, she shook her head. "That's crazy, and sick."

"I know."

"I wish there was something I could do because it's so wrong that they should have to deal with that, that any of us should have to deal with this."

"I know," I said repeating myself, feeling inadequate in my attempts to comfort her.

"Did you know that there is literally no representation for unpromised dhampirs?" She continued before I even had time to process my surprise and answer her. "Yeah, I was talking to Ambrose before I left. At least guardians have the Guardian Council, but unpromised dhampirs have no one to speak on their behalf. It's no wonder we get treated like trash."

"I had no idea." I admitted. And honestly, I hadn't. Beyond my family, I didn't have a ton of experience with unpromised dhampirs, and those that I had spent a short time interacting with in the past weren't exactly interested in being part of our society. Those in the smaller villages generally just kept to themselves.

"Yeah, and apparently it's not just them. Even the non-royal Moroi have next to no say in what happens in their own government. It's pretty much all up to the Royal Moroi and there isn't much in the way of regulation I guess. I'm not huge on politics, but I was listening to Tasha and Liss talk about it and it all sounds pretty messed up."

"What's messed up?" A third voice sounded from the door, and I had been so enthralled in what Rose was saying that I didn't even notice Lissa coming up the stairs. "Sorry," she continued, apologizing when she saw us jump and watching as Rose moved as subtly as possible off my lap. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I just wanted to let you guys know that dinner will be done in about ten minutes. Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Rose assured her while I created some extra distance between us. While there was technically nothing keeping us from officially dating or being together in any way, and our friends had shown their approval or even silent encouragement for our relationship, we were still working things out together one step at a time. More importantly, we were doing so together and in private. "Just looking over some job postings."

"Oh? You know there's no rush, right? You have plenty of time to find the right job. You can even go back to your guardian training if you'd like."

Rose gave me a knowing look that I recognized too easily, because this was a conversation we had already had more than once. I had offered within the first few days to see what would be needed for her to complete her training and receive her promise mark, and while she hadn't been totally sure that was what she wanted yet, she agreed to look into the process. Since she already had her GED, she didn't need to graduate with educational credentials, and only needed to finish her guardian training. By resuming my position as her mentor, I could easily help her with that. I would help with the actual physical training, proctor the course exams, and then she would travel to St. Vladimir's for her final trials. The entire process would take less than a year.

When push came to shove, Rose still wasn't sure if that was what she wanted yet. I wasn't there to encourage her one way or the other, just to support her with whatever choice she made. If I was honest though, there was a part of me that secretly hoped that she didn't jump back into that life. I had almost lost her once, and it had nearly been the end of me. I didn't want to go through that again. I wasn't sure if I could survive it again. But, if that's what she eventually chose to do, I would help her however I could.

"Thanks, Liss," Rose answered diplomatically, "but I haven't quite made a decision on becoming a guardian again. I'm still looking into a few things. However, until then, I'd like to make some cash. I just wish that I could do something that made more difference than making sure I used soy milk in someone's vanilla chai latte. I'd still like to make a difference somehow."

Vasilisa nodded, getting an odd distant look on her face for a moment before returning to us with a bright smile and look that hinted at a dangerous idea. "Hold off on the job hunt for a day or two if you can. I think I might have an idea."

Rose and I shared a worried glance, before Rose gave a warning question, "What do you have up your sleeve...?"

"I don't want to say anything yet. I don't know if it will work, but you have to trust me. Do you trust me?"

In the following silence, and the shared look between them that meant that their bond was open, I knew what Rose's answer would be. "Of course, Liss. I'll always trust you. We'll be down in a bit."

* * *

**~ ROSE ~**

* * *

Before I knew it, I was dressed in an uncomfortable white blouse and black jacket, standing in a hot, stagnant room with dozens of other guardians. Dimitri had tried to prepare me for what the ceremony would entail, but based on his description, I think this was a bit more involved than even he had imagined. At the very least, I would hazard to guess that he wasn't used to receiving his marks with this many people. He seemed a bit claustrophobic.

Janine stood on my left, Dimitri on my right. Eddie was on the other side of him. All three stood at strict attention, and I tried to mimic their posture. Hands at my side, shoulders back, chin up. I noticed early on that it was all Guardians here, not even Queen Tatiana was present. After a few brief words from someone Eddie had called Hans, who had listed name after name of people I had never met and would never have that chance to meet now, Guardians stepped up to one of the three tattooists chairs at the front of the room.

It didn't take very long for each tattoo to be completed, maybe 10 minutes tops, but with almost fifty guardians waiting to receive those marks, it felt like forever. We were in the back of the group and would be some of the last to go. I resisted squirming, knowing that over an hour of silent standing was nothing to a seasoned guardian, and if there was still even a small chance that this was going to be my life again, I best get used to it.

Finally, when my feet were about ready to go numb in the shoes that were obviously not made for extended wear, Eddie was signaled up. Some of the guardians had removed their outer shirts for the process, especially those that were more seasoned and needed a clean patch of skin lower on their neck. Eddie was still new enough that there was a spot near his hair line, so they simply taped his collar down and out of the way. Dimitri was called up a moment later.

He was one that had to remove his shirt. The last time I had taken the time to actually count, long ago and way back at the Academy, there had been seven  _molnija_  on his neck. Now, for the life of me, I couldn't see exactly how many there were now. Definitely more than seven though, that's for sure. If Eddie already had a few, it made sense that Dimitri would have some more too. He pulled off his jacket and white shirt, leaving himself in a white tank that seemed to strategically dip a little low in the back just for this reason. My resolve to not squirm faltered slightly as I watched the muscles in his arms and back move under his tan skin, but that quickly stopped as my mother moved forward to take the suddenly empty last chair. I guess I would be the last person in the room to get my tattoos. Fine by me.

I could feel the many eyes in the room flipping between me and those currently under the buzzing machines, and despite the abundant white noise in the room, everything seemed almost too silent. Finally, Dimitri's tattooist finished just a moment or two before Eddie's. As Eddie was getting his bandages on, Dimitri slipped on his shirt and buttoned only three of his buttons, letting the others hang loose. He waved me over to the middle chair, staying there as Eddie moved to join the others who had finished receiving their marks already on the other side of the room.

Before I had fully settled into the chair, the tattooist spoke. "She doesn't have her promise mark." He stated it as a fact, but waited for a response as if it was a question. He was actually very clean cut and professional looking in a crisp white shirt with rolled sleeves and tie, the total opposite of what you'd expect the more stereotypical tattoo artist to look like.

"She did her part," Dimitri assured him gently. "She earned the mark."

The other man looked over to Hans, who had already started walking our way, sensing his approval was needed. "She's the one receiving the two  _molnija_  too. Do the marks..."

"Just place them a bit low," A third voice, my mother, interrupted as she joined us as well, "to leave room for a promise mark if she ever needs one done."

I felt a bit odd, allowing others to make the decision on what and where to place a permanent mark on my body while doing nothing more than silently sitting by, but I guess if I had truly wanted any say in the matter, I had plenty of chances to change my mind before sitting down. So with the final nod of acceptance from Hans, I pulled my long pony tailed hair aside, jumping only slightly as the buzz of the machine sounded near my ear.

It hurt, not nearly as much as I had been anticipating, but enough to still make me wince. I refused to make a sound though. Nobody else had so much as flinched, and I refused to be seen as the weak link in the group.

I think I held my breath through the entire procedure, but eventually the tension was released into relaxation by the time the needle was replaced by the bandage. My tattoos took slightly longer than the others because of the extra marks, but it didn't take long before I was standing alongside the others as if I was just as much of a guardian as any of them.

I didn't recognize the final words that were said, almost as if they were a ritual said after every ceremony, and I don't think I could even recall and repeat them if I tried, but immediately afterwards everyone started moving about. Just like that, it was over. The feeling was still fairly solemn; people talking in hushed tones about those that didn't survive to make it here, or downplaying their battle wounds, and a few even coming and introducing themselves to me but I was so overwhelmed by it all that I couldn't remember many names.

Finally, I was saved by a cowboy in a long leather duster. "Ready to go, Rose?" Dimitri's hand on my shoulder instantly eased the awkwardness of being amidst so many people I don't know.

"Yeah." I touched my bandages one more time as I said goodbye to the girl in front of me – I believe she said her name was Sarena, or Salena, or something like that – before turning to follow Dimitri.

His hand never left my shoulder as we walked. "Hurts?" he questioned, nodding towards my neck.

"No," I defended, perhaps a little too quickly.

"Huh. Well, you're tougher than me then."

I looked for any sign of sarcasm but as usual, Dimitri's face was a blank mask. That didn't necessarily mean he wasn't joking though. "What? The Russian God can't take a little pain?"

"No, I didn't say that. I'm just saying that tattoos aren't exactly known for being a pleasurable experience and I'm man enough to admit that I don't plan on getting one for fun anytime soon."

"Ahh, and here I was about to suggest that you tattoo my name across your heart."

He stopped walking, pausing us just a moment outside the door. "You know, I might just be persuaded on that one."

"Oh, come on." I bumped his hip with a smile, propelling us into motion again. But we didn't make it far.

No more than ten steps outside the ballroom where the Zvezda ceremony was being held, a Moroi man in a pressed suit was waiting, leaning against the wall. The moment he saw us, he stood straighter.

"Rosemarie Hathaway?"

Dimitri and I exchanged glances, mine curious, his slightly worried. This was obviously outside of the norm.

"Yes. That's me. What's this about?"

"You have been summoned for an audience with Queen Tatiana."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm, what could the queen want I wonder? And what do you think about Rose's job and apartment hunt? Or Dimitri's musings about living with Rose :)
> 
> If you had to pick a job for Rose, what do you think would be a good fit for her? There's not a ton of options out there, do you think she should go back to the academy? Maybe start a dance school? Maybe she'll start working with Ambrose!
> 
> So, remember all that wonderful stuff I said about getting back on schedule and how I was all excited? Yeah. I need to stop saying stuff. Cause then I take my son to the doctor. And find out that he needs surgery. Life sucks sometimes.
> 
> I will be writing still, because if I don't there is a very good chance that I will lose the final few threads of sanity I have managed to hang on to, but with the stress of everything else I am hereby saying that all schedules for this and Shadow Kiss are out the window. Everyone likes surprises...right? Right? *cue desperate looks of approval*
> 
> Thanks for everyone's support and love. This story is almost finished (like...two chapers left!) and I will be doing a special bonus chapter around Christmas/New Years based on this world for you guys.
> 
> I can't wait to hear your thoughts in the reviews! Don't forget to favorite and follow!


	29. Chapter 29

** – DIMITRI – **

* * *

Without so much as a moment to question why the queen would like to talk to Rose, we were escorted across the lawn towards the main royal palace. It was more elaborate than many of the buildings at Court, perhaps only overshadowed by the large stone cathedral, but still nothing compared to some of the old historical places back home in Russia. It would never have the awe-inspiring impact of St. Basil's Cathedral, but that didn't mean it wasn't still somewhat imposing, especially when Rose and I still weren't sure why we were summoned. Or, we weren't sure why Rose was here. I was here because I wasn't leaving her side unless the Royal Guard absolutely forced me to. And even then there would probably be a fight.

The escort led us through several hallways and corridors, our footsteps echoing off the marble tile and antique artifacts before we eventually stopped in front of a set of doors that I had never seen before. I hadn't been invited to any personal audiences with the queen, but I have accompanied Lissa when she had met with Queen Tatiana in the past. Typically we were led to the throne room or one of the council rooms, but when the double doors where opened by a pair of Royal Guardians (one of whom had a fresh bandage on his neck) we were met with light an airy room that seemed more reminiscent of a English parlor than a place of governmental power. It was surprisingly...intimate.

"Rosemarie, welcome. I've been looking forward to speaking with you." The queen spoke from a round table in the middle of the space. To our surprise, Lissa was sitting beside her, but beyond the silent guardians flanking the door we entered through and a young woman near a dining cart on the other side of the small room, the room was otherwise empty. "We weren't expecting you, Guardian Belikov. Miss Aria, would you mind setting another place for Guardian Belikov so he can join us?"

I was going to instinctively decline the offer, but I knew that Rose was still looking for as much support as possible. Sitting beside her rather than quietly standing on the sidelines would be the least I could do for her.

Within moments, Rose and I were seated, with her safely tucked away between me and Lissa. A full tea service was set in front of us, giving it a much more casual atmosphere than you would expect from such a meeting but I was still on edge. Rose placed a small finger sandwich or two on her plate, nodding distractedly when I offered to fill her cup with tea. The queen spoke all the while.

"I've heard quite a bit about you Rose. Vasilisa speaks very highly of you, as does Natasha Ozera."

My head perked up again hearing Tasha's name. She was fairly active in the political scene here, but that didn't mean that she was very well received or respected by her peers. The fact that Queen Tatiana, of all people, seemed to value her opinion on any matter seemed quite the news to me.

"There has been a long standing discussion for quite some time," Tatiana continued, "specifically about equality among my people. We were once seen as symbiotic and treated comparably, but for far too long the Moroi have been favored, and dhampirs have not only been overlooked, but often abused."

Rose and I remained silent, both seeming hesitant to agree openly with her. Perhaps to keep from having to say anything, she sipped a small sip from her cup, immediately cringing from the taste. She tried to hide her expression, and did pretty well, but I could see the slight purse in her lips from the bitterness and as the teacup chimed against the saucer again, I could see why. The liquid was still a clear, dark amber; she hadn't added any sugar or cream.

"Rose, despite my position, I am far from all powerful. I cannot change things at the drop of a hat, despite how much I would like to. Change comes slowly, but with the right moves, and the right people in the right positions, we can make change happen. That's where you come in."

Rose fiddled with one of the small cakes on her plate, seemingly unsure of whether or not she wanted to chance another mystery treat. "What do you expect me to do? I'm not a guardian. I never even finished my training. I'm nobody."

She was hardly nobody, at least not where I was concerned, but Lissa contradicted her words before I could.

"You aren't nobody, Rose. In fact, you might just be exactly who we need."

The roundabout talk and hidden meanings were doing nothing to settle my nerves, and risking the chance of speaking out of turn, I voiced my deepest concern. "And what, exactly, do you need Rose for?"

"A voice," the Queen spoke proudly. "A voice for the dhampir community, both promised and unpromised. You can be that vehicle for change that is so desperately needed."

Rose looked as stunned as I felt at the declaration. "'Scuse me, but that's quite the responsibility... _Your Majesty._ " She added the title as almost a sarcastic afterthought, though nobody corrected her. "And as I mentioned before, I'm hardly qualified."

"No, that's actually a huge benefit!" Lissa's interruption intrigued us both. "You aren't a guardian, but you essentially had all the training, just a few weeks from your field experience before the disappearance, and were recognized by all your instructors as the top of your classes. You even received your first marks and protected several Moroi students, plus you recently proved yourself again. Most people wouldn't doubt your ability as a guardian, even if you don't have an official mark."

Lissa did have a point. While she would never be considered an official guardian without a promise mark, she would always have the respect of guardians because she had fought beside us; risking her life and coming out on top. The molnija and zvezda proved that. Plus, those of us that knew her knew that even without graduating she could still best half of us in the training ring.

It seemed that Lissa's explanation wasn't done yet though. "However, because you aren't a full-fledged guardian, you will still be seen as having the general population's best interest at heart. Yes, you will want guardians to succeed, but you will want those who have chosen a different path to find success too. There may not be a completely neutral person in this situation, but I think you are the closest possibility out there. On top of all that, you can provide a unique view that most people wouldn't be able to. You grew up in the Moroi world and are used to the customs here, but you also had the chance to see it with new eyes after your accident. It gave you a fresh perspective."

"You mean it almost drove me away."

Lissa winced at Rose's blunt retaliation, even if the jab wasn't aimed directly at her. I'd be lying if I didn't flinch some as well. Perhaps the most surprisingly, it was the queen who seemed the most sympathetic.

"As I said before: we need change. We need you, Miss Hathaway."

"Still, that is so much for one person to carry. If a queen can't affect change, how do you expect a one young delinquent with a sketchy reputation to do so?"

"I don't. My hope is that you'll lead a council, the same way I do. There is strength in numbers."

The Moroi Royal Council is made up of members of the twelve royal families, but there wasn't anything even remotely similar among dhampirs. I wasn't sure how that would be set up. Lissa answered my question before it was ever asked.

"Initially, we would ask you to work with us to call the first twelve members of the council, plus you of course, but future members would be selected by election."

"It would be a difficult first few years, especially figuring out the logistics of this new branch of our government, but I believe it is truly necessary and you will have my support 100%."

"And the rest of the council?" I asked.

She hesitated, and that itself told me more than anything else could have. "The rest of the council will have to learn to deal with progress that is necessary to make society continue to function. We are coming dangerously close to the point where it will be this, or an uprising. Our world cannot survive with half our people – or more – revolting against the other. They forget that the Royal Moroi are not the majority, despite having the power."

I couldn't exactly disagree with her. Discontent among Guardians and other dhampirs has always been in the shadows in one form or another, but it had becoming harder and harder to ignore in the recent years. There hadn't been outright protests, at least not since talk of lowering the novice graduating age started, but the whispers were getting louder. People were getting angrier. I had never been thrilled with the cards I had been dealt in life, but I had been content. Rose coming into my world had made me question things more, but as long as I had her by my side, I would always find happiness. But I recognized that not everyone felt the same way. People wanted more out of their lives, and they deserved more. Pretty soon, they would start demanding it.

The room was silent as all eyes moved over to Rose, including those of the dhampir waitress and the guardians who were still waiting silently near the door. In the end, it all came down to her.

"When do I start?"

* * *

**~ROSE~**

* * *

_What was I doing? What the hell had I gotten myself into? I wasn't a politician! I couldn't talk my way out of a paper bag! The only way I successfully got myself out of arguments growing up was to either flirt or fight myself out of them and I doubt the queen would find it acceptable for me to use either of those tactics now._

"Rose. Rose! Wait up!"

"Roza!"

I slowed at Dimitri's voice, turning to find him and Lissa following me as I all but ran back to the townhouse.

"What's the rush, Rose? We should celebrate! You are the brand new head of the Dhampir Council!"

"Shhh!" I hushed her, bringing my finger to her lips and urgently looking around to make sure we weren't overheard. Dimitri mimicked the action, checking any of my blind spots and I appreciated that at least _he_ got that this wasn't all sunshine and roses. "Not so loud, Liss!"

"Vasilisa, I really must agree with Rose on this one. It might be best to discuss this somewhere a little more private for the time being." I could feel his hands on our back, gently urging us to start moving again as he continued to scan the area.

"You're acting like she has a target on her back, Dimitri. Nobody even knows yet."

I shot him a glance, and by the one he returned, I knew we were sharing the same thought. It may not be _common_ knowledge yet, but I doubt that it was still completely under wraps. Information like this tended to spread like wildfire. The best I could hope for was a quick announcement from the queen about the council and my new position on it. I could be dramatic and say that my life would never be the same again but honestly, that seems to happen pretty often so...

"Either way," he continued, "I'd prefer to keep things low key for the time being." It wasn't out of Dimitri's character to be overly cautious when it came to safety, particularly her's or mine, so it seemed to be enough of a reason to satisfy her.

The moment we were inside the doors though, my mother and Eddie were on us.

"Where did you two go? One moment you were there, and suddenly you were gone."

"Sorry, Guardian Hathaway. Rose was..." I saw him hesitate, recognizing that it wasn't his news to share. I wasn't sure if I was ready to share it either, but the truth was that news would break soon so there wasn't any reason to keep it a secret. They would find out soon enough.

"The Queen asked to speak with me. Sh-"

"What did you do?" My mother sternly cut me off so quickly that I didn't even have time to finish my explanation, but I didn't do much more than offer an annoyed look and continue, wondering if even this would get her to change her opinion of me and my reputation for bad behavior.

"As I was saying, she offered me a job. Well, a position. She has asked me to be the head of the new Dhampir Council."

"The...what?"

"The Queen is creating a new branch of the council. I'm not entirely sure _how_ she is getting the full support she needs to do so, especially since the current council probably won't be completely on board with it, but there it is. I accepted her offer."

While my mother slowly began to understand the news, the full force of what I was about to embark on was still settling over me and I slumped on the couch, collapsing under weight of what would happen over the next few weeks. _Why in the world did I accept it?_

"Because you want to make a difference, remember?"

I struggled to lift my head from my hands. It seemed much heavier than it should have as I looked up at her, realizing that I had spoken my thoughts out loud.

"You wanted to make a difference here. Not just in my life, and your life, but in everyone's lives. Right?" Lissa sat beside me, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly and I wasn't sure if it was her natural charm, minor compulsion, or spirit healing that was making me feel more relaxed at the moment. Whatever it was, I was going to let it slide for now. "That's why I suggested you to Tatiana. Tasha had been proposing a Dhampir counsel for a while but the Queen wouldn't consider the option unless we found the right leader for it. Nobody seemed to be the right fit until you came along." Her gentle squeeze encouraged me to meet her eyes. "We need you, Rose."

Her words weren't filled with desperate pleading or begging. No guilt trips. If anything, her smile was full of encouragement and confidence and I couldn't help but return it. Even if I wasn't sure of myself, it helped to see her so certain that I would succeed.

I felt the couch shift on the other side of me, quickly followed by a familiar muscular arm. "I guess the next question is: what can we do to help?"

Eddie's cheeky grin was just what I needed to lift my spirits again, and I rested my head on his shoulder with a laugh and a sigh. "Well, I guess the first step is finding twelve people crazy enough to fill the council seats. What do you think Eddie? Are you up for it?"

"Hell no!"

Our boisterous laughter was cut short by a muted cough from across the room (I couldn't tell if it was from Dimitri or my mother, since she was giving us a disapproving glare and he was sporting a signature raised brow at our antics) but we continued our snickering under our hands a moment later.

"You know I'm always here for your Rose, we all are," Eddie promised, and I could sense more than see Lissa's nod of agreement. "Even if we aren't on that council with you, we'll always stand behind you."

Through the rest of the day, as our gang came and went, the news of my new role at Court spread. It never left the house of course, but by dinner we were all enjoying tossing names around for possible counsel candidates – some serious, some asinine – and even my mother was getting in on the action.

When the crowd phased out with the raising light of day, I was beginning to feel more and more confident in my future, at least when it came to my close circle of family and friends. The world outside the front door? Well, that was a whole 'nother matter.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Dimitri sat a cup of hot chocolate in front of me on the coffee table, taking the open seat on the couch but not being so bold as to assume the spot right next to me. We had shared a few sweet moments here or there, but our status was still technicality up in the air.

I shifted over slightly, offering him my side silently, allowing him to refuse without the sting of possible rejection. He glanced down at the movement, smirking for a moment before looking around the now empty living room and gesturing me over in to his waiting embrace instead. Everyone else had already gone to bed and it was just me and him awake now.

I tucked myself under his arm, warming my hands with the cup while stealing some of his body heat as well. "Tomorrow. My guess is that the Queen will announce the new Council either then or the next day. I'd almost prefer it to be sooner rather than later."

"I can understand that. I'm fairly anxious for the news to break, so I can only imagine how nervous you are. But Eddie is right, we're here for you Rose. We'll keep you safe. I can talk to Hans about getting you a temporary guardian for your protection if needed. I think the circumstances call for it. Until then, I'm sure Lissa would be fine with me staying close by for your protection." Dimitri's arms wrapped around me to emphasize his point.

I almost told him off for suggesting that I would need someone to protect me, former guardian-in-training Rose Hathaway, but the truth was that I had no clue what hell storm would be unleashed the moment I officially and publicly became Rose Hathaway, Head of the Dhampir Council. Protecting someone with a target on their back was one thing was one thing, _having_ a target on my back was something else entirely.

"While I'm sure your motives are completely selfless, let's not be too hasty. For all we know, we're jumping the gun on this and everything will be just fine."

His arms tightened just a little bit more, and I could feel the line of his jaw trace its way through my hair to place a kiss at my temple. "I'm not taking any chances, Roza. I won't let anything happen to you. Not again."

I knew he still felt some guilt from Spokane, but now wasn't the time for that discussion. Instead, I tucked myself into him and changed the topic. "I know. Plus, I'm not worried about my personal safety as much as I'm worried about the future. This is the next eight years of my life. Possibly more if I decide to go for a reelection and actually manage to win. By the time I'm done with this, I won't have many years left to be a guardian if I decide to finish training. Who knows if anyone would even want me at that point? I'd probably only be qualified for desk work."

I let my head sag against his shoulder as I watched a lifetime of work wash away with one hasty decision made this afternoon. I doubted there was any way to go back now, even if I wanted to. Lissa was right, I _did_ want to make a difference and I knew this would be a huge help to many. I was willing to suffer the growing pains at the beginning to help others in the future.

"Does that worry you?" Dimitri asked, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear as I sipped some of my cocoa that had finally cooled to a palatable temperature.

"A little. I've just worked so hard to be a guardian, and it's hard to give that up, even if I wasn't completely sure I was ready to go back to that life yet. Plus, you invested quite a bit in me. Aren't you a bit disappointed that I'll never get my promise mark after everything you've sacrificed to train me?"

The move was so sudden and swift, it was a quick reminder about how fast and smooth Dimitri could move when he wanted to. He didn't spill a single drop of the hot chocolate as he took the cup from my hands, lifted me from my spot under his arm, turned me around, and sat me down again so that I was straddling his lap. My heart was racing for several reasons. Obviously the position itself was fairly provocative, even if it was unexpected. There was also the fact that we were so close that I could pick up the various shades of chocolate in his eyes and the barely there dusting of freckles across the bridge of his nose. But above everything else was the way that he was looking at me; like there was nothing else in the world that mattered as much as this one moment between us, right here, right now.

"Roza. I could never be disappointed in you, especially for doing something as selfless as dedicating your life to helping others have a chance at a better life themselves. Even if you hadn't decided to join the council, it wouldn't have mattered to me. Yes, you had – have – the natural talent to be an amazing guardian if that is what you want to do. If you had decided to stay in Vegas, I still wouldn't have been disappointed in you. At least not for that. Not calling or answering my texts on the other hand..." he grinned, lightening the moment for a second. "Rose, you could do anything from being queen to a hotel maid and I would still be proud of you. That will never change. If you decide in a couple of years to change your mind and settle down," his faced and voice dimmed slightly, "maybe start a family, then I will always be your biggest supporter. Always."

His promise was so solid, it might as well have been written in stone. He had already proven to be my biggest supporter time and time again, from the very first day we met, to this very afternoon. With how faithful he had demonstrated himself with that, I had no reason to doubt anything else about his words. He would always be proud of me, no matter what.

It wasn't until a moment later that I realized what else he had mentioned. Family. That was one thing he and I could never have, at least not together.

Impassioned speeches were never my thing, though I guess I'd have to change that with my new career. I had always preferred sarcasm before, but honesty and openness were more difficult. Thankfully, things of a physical nature came more naturally to me.

I ran my fingers through his hair, probably messing it up more than anything else. I had a feeling that my impact on his life tended to mirror that thought quite a bit. Still, he smiled at me.

"I'm not going anywhere, Comrade. You're stuck with me. Always."

I'm not quite sure who moved first, but we were so close at that point I don't think it really mattered. His lips were on mine a moment later and the next several hours were spent together, in each other's arms, definitively solidifying our relationship status...at least between one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of the idea of a Dhampir Council? What effect do you think it could have on the political scene of the Vampiric world? Do you think Rose is a good choice? What do you think about Rose giving up her chance on being a guardian?
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me through the long wait! This chapter ended taking on a life of it's own, trying to be a much larger one that needed to be split into two smaller chapters with some minor edits to make that work. The good news is that I will hopefully have the last chapter up soon, maybe even later this week! A big thank you to my Beta, Raissa, for keeping me on track and supporting me through the crazy holidays.
> 
> I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas/Winter Holiday and a Happy New Year. It was wonderful to relax with family and friends although I'm somewhat sad that I have to go back to being an adult tomorrow. However, I did decide on my "theme" for 2016: Peace. I have the quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson up on my bathroom mirror: "Nobody can bring you peace but yourself." I love the idea that I need to stop searching for outside sources for peace. It doesn't come from more money, more time, more things...it comes from acceptance of what I do have and finding joy in that.
> 
> What is your theme this year?
> 
> Thank you again for reading and if you have a moment, I would love to hear your thoughts. Also, please take a moment to favorite, follow, and share! You guys are amazing and I really appreciate your support through everything. For all of you who might be wondering, Kael (my son) will be going into surgery this Wednesday and I would be very grateful for any prayers or well wishes. It should be a simple procedure and the doctors don't anticipate any issues, but even a simple procedure has it's risks.


	30. Chapter 30

**~ROSE~**

* * *

 

The first council meeting was nerve wracking. Today's goal for the meeting was one thing: establishing the legitimacy of the Dhampir Council. The meeting open to the public, and news had spread fast. As expected, word of the new Dhampir Council wasn't well received by most of the existing Royal Council. The Queen had announced the new branch of government last week, bringing me as head of the new council. There had been an immediate uproar among the others – mostly shouts of discontent, though a few seemed to approve – and it took nearly a half hour to simply quiet the room enough to start explaining the changes. In the end, she had ended up using a rare executive order to push the measure through, throwing her title around in a way that I almost admired. It was graceful, but the way that it still struck fear in the eyes of a few council members gave me a pretty nice goal to work towards, politically.

Now, with a full council chosen and a meeting itinerary prepared, all there was left to do was wait. Lissa stood beside me, still denied her own rightful seat on the Royal Council due to the outdated quorum law, and attempted to give me a pep talk. I couldn't hear her over the pounding in my own ears but nodded either way, just to appease her as she slapped at my hands to keep me from gnawing at my new manicure. I kept reminding myself of all the good that could come from this in time. How this would help thousands of dhampirs, guardians and unpromised alike. Several of us had even discussed the possibility of extending our reach to others who might need representation as well. Who knows, with the new way the Dhampir Council was chosen, perhaps Lissa could finally take her rightful seat rather than simply acting as an adviser to Tatiana.

Dimitri was here too, though he wasn't able to actively be the support I knew he desperately wanted to be at the moment. He was as still as stone against the wall outside the council's private chambers, his face professionally impassive, but from the quick peek I took earlier, I could see his right index finger barely twitching a quick, steady rhythm against his thigh. It was the only sign of his nerves he allowed to show, and I doubt anyone but me would even pick up on it.

The rest of the dhampir council attempted to congregate together without any real unity. Our group had yet to truly mesh with one another, not that we were planning sleepovers or anything like that, but there seemed to be a certain agreement between us that we were all in this together to make life better for the greater community. To do so, I felt I needed to represent that community, even those that make up the less attractive elements of our race. When the final list had been announced to the public, I had to basically barricade myself for several days to keep from being harassed by people who didn't exactly agree with me. The initial uproar had died down and now it was time to get down to business.

The Dhampir Council was made up of both men and women, guardians and unpromised dhampirs of various ages and backgrounds. They came recommended from several sources, but it ultimately came down to my choice in the end. As Tatiana had promised before, this would be the only time that this would happen, as in future years the council would be elected by the dhampir population, but we had to start somewhere.

I knew my final selection was a surprise to many. Some were expected, such as the head of Guardian Council, Hans Croft. His input when it came to matters regarding guardian needs was undisputed and absolutely necessary in my opinion. I also wanted to suggest Alberta to cover the educational standpoint of things, but since she was needed at the school, she was unable to serve on the Council. Thankfully, Alberta had been the one to suggest another person who had served in her position at another Academy. The other guardians on the council included a newer graduate, a retired guardian with a nearly miraculous 30 years of service under his belt, a young woman between those two, and my mother. Janine Hathaway wasn't one of the most well-known and respected guardians of this age for nothing.

The other six members of the Dhampir Council were all unpromised or demarked dhampirs, once again from various backgrounds. None of them held quite the same respect as the guardians, and perhaps that was to be expected, but some came close. Others were much more controversial choices. Two of my choices were simple citizens who lived fairly normal lives in the community, one as sales associate and another a line cook at one of the hotel kitchens. Then there was a former guardian who had defected from the ranks and only agreed to return after a statement was signed by the Queen releasing him of any possible punishment – besides an official demarking – for abandoning his duty. Another disputed choice was the female dhampir who was considered unfit for duty when she fell pregnant shortly before graduation and refused to abort or give up her baby, but otherwise she lived a fairly normal life now. Of course Ambrose was controversial because of his ties to the Queen, but perhaps I received the most flack for selecting a young woman named Alana. She was (in her own unapologetic terms) a blood whore, doing what she felt she needed to do to survive and take care of herself and her young son.

Finally, the doors opened with a loud echo, sounding even above the chatter. For a moment, everyone looked towards the open doorway and then just as suddenly, all eyes turned towards me. This was it. This was the moment I became the leader they needed me to be. I tried my best to channel as much of Lissa's royal stature as possible, looking to both her and Dimitri for an extra burst of strength before entering the main chambers with twelve men and women behind me.

* * *

**– DIMITRI –**

* * *

 

It had been a while since I had been truly nervous standing at my post. I could practically feel the energy in the room outside and it wasn't all positive. Many people, mostly dhampirs, but even some Moroi, had been supportive about the announcement of the new council. However, those that weren't were very vocal and very dedicated to making sure that we knew it. We were obligated to let her know, but Rose refused to let her most recent death threat keep her from appearing today. I admired her dedication, but I feared for her safety even more. Stopping the rampage of a blood-thirsty monster was one thing, the mindless path of a speeding bullet and the misguided anger of an unknown stranger behind it? Well, that's something else entirely. Yes, I had been trained to protect my charge against such attacks, but when it comes down to it, it may not matter; bullets still travel faster than guardians do in the 100 yards separating me from the Dhampir Council stands. No amount of training and dedication can change the laws of physics.

The last time I had seen the Council Chamber, it had looked much different. Beyond the lack of audience, there had only been twelve council seats – the Dragomir seat left empty, of course – with a small raised throne for the Queen herself. Now, thirteen new seats had been added, forcing the need for more platforms to be constructed. The Royal Council was on the left hand side, the Dhampir Council on the right.

I could see Rose shifting, as if she was physically trying to work out the anxiety I knew she was feeling, no matter how hard she was trying to hide it. She wasn't the only one worried. The louder the crowd got, the more I could see the guardians (both those in the stands and those on duty) becoming increasingly more and more tense. Hans had called in extra men today, but I was wondering if it would still be enough to handle the growing raucousness. The seats in the audience had filled several minutes ago, standing room was fast filling, and people were still pushing their way in.

It was a breath of relief when the outside doors were finally shut, much to the dismay of the spectators outside, and the meeting is officially called to order. The Queen entered with her usual fanfare, though she must have had her fair share of anxiety too because she didn't seem quite as intent on dragging out the process of bowing and kneeling before her.

The first few minutes were fairly forgettable, filled with nothing more than information about how the meeting would be run followed by introductions. The Royal Council introductions weren't incredibly notable, but every introduction for the new Dhampir Council was met with a combination of either applause or condemnation, some more than others. The name that seemed to have the strongest opinions behind it though was the last: Rose's. The moment her name was called, I tensed in preparation to make my way over to her as quickly as possible, all while scanning the crowd for any possible threat. A moment later, I could breath as she sat down again, completely unharmed.

"The first item up for discussion is proposition 432. Guardian Hans Croft, the floor is yours."

Rose had mentioned that three of their proposals were up for discussion today. She had talked over some possibilities of what we believed guardians and dhampirs could benefit from, but I had no idea what she actually had up her sleeves.

Either way, having Hans present first was brilliant on her part. He held the most respect among the royal community, non-royal community, guardian community, and non-promised dhampirs. He held almost as much authority with the Moroi as he did with the Dhampirs, and you could see as much when he made his way to the podium. The room was still, anticipating the first motion of the new council.

"It is proposed that all sanctioned guardians received one day off per week for rest and personal time. We hope that this will allow them to be more alert when serving and reduce the amount of injury to themselves and to their charges."

After a moment of silence, when it became clear that he wasn't going to say any more, the questions started all on top of one another. He didn't look the least bit phased though, barely glancing at his notes and taking questions from both the council and the audience in a calm and collected manner. Each answer made the proposal seem logical and well planned, and even though there was some initial fight back (as I'm sure Rose and the rest of the council expected), it was eventually passed.

It wasn't a difficult proposition, especially after Hans had laid out what it would actually mean in terms to the actual government and what not. Low cost, low overall change, and easily measurable impact that could hopefully be seen within a few weeks.

On a personal level though, it would be immense. At the Academy, Alberta had done her best to give every guardian one day off a week, but that was her prerogative more than protocol. At Court, I was lucky to receive a full day every other week.

However, either of those was preferable to what you would get out in the field as a personal guardian to a family. There were no days off unless you scheduled vacation time. Something like this would make a huge impact to overworked, overstressed guardians who started making simple mistakes that led to horrible accidents. Yes, it would mean that one day a week, a Moroi or family might need to stay home inside a warded boundary or another guardian might needed to be called in from a nearby station, but if this proposal proved as successful as the Dhampir Council anticipated, the rewards for such a small sacrifice would be immense.

I didn't even have time to start thinking about what my first day off would entail before the second measure was announced. A woman, older than Rose and myself, but younger than Guardian Hans, was the next to take the stage. I tried to remember her name, but I couldn't. I could remember her story though. Rose had been adamant on putting her on the council, despite what several people suggested. While I knew that she had received some push back for her decision for appointing someone who bore the name and reputation of a blood whore without shame, I'm proud that Rose stood up for her belief that everyone should be represented on the council, no matter how much we would like to sweep their unpleasantness under the rug.

"Councilwoman Alana Davis, whenever you are ready."

The woman, Alana I guess, steadied herself at the Queen's urging. The way that she held herself reminded me of someone, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I could see some nervousness there, but there was also a fierce determination as well. Still, her fingers were nearly bone white as they gripped the podium while speaking.

"We, the Dhampir Council, propose a traveling resource clinic to provide essential services to communes that otherwise do not have access to them. These services will include medical assistance, financial planning, educational and career counseling, and more."

She wasn't even able to finish her proposal before people started speaking up. Questions about how it would be paid for, where these clinics would serve, how many clinics there would be, and so on. Alana answered as many as she could, and where she couldn't, other members of the council stepped in to help.

While it wasn't officially announced in any way, news of her background had spread and Alana was the perfect person to present this proposal. As a single mother raising a child on her own the best she could, she gained some sympathy for the proposal just with her personal experience.

Not everyone seemed to agree though.

"I guess the biggest question is why this is even necessary? Dhampir women have survived for years in communes without outside assistance. It seems like they don't need or even want assistance from Court. If they want to do it on their own, I say we let them."

The fury in was palatable in Alana's eyes and was well warranted considering Prince Lazar's thoughts. I'm sure many people, myself included, would have liked to share a few choice words in return. But Rose beat us all to the punch.

"With all due respect, they don't, as you so eloquently put it 'do it on their own.' It does take two to tango and we dhampirs don't have the luxury of procreating among our own kind. Dhampir woman have been strong enough to raise and take care of their children on their own because they had to be. They banded together in communes because that provided the greatest support. If there was a distrust of outsiders, it is because people would come, use them, and leave them with nothing more than bruises, empty promises, and another mouth to feed in nine months."

I don't know if Rose had ever once considered my mother or sisters when she had discussed this proposal with the council, and she certainly hadn't discussed anything like this with me in the weeks leading up to this meeting. However, in that moment, I chanced a glance over towards her, and I knew that she was thinking of my family. She had never met them. She had never heard more than a few stories told between training session at the Academy or a quiet moment here and there since she's been back at Court. Still, something like this could have prevented so many problems in my childhood.

It could have helped mother get out from under the choking hold my father had over her, threatening to financially ruin her and put her home and children in jeopardy if she didn't let him drop in from time to time, abuse included. It could have assured that my siblings and I would have had access to basic medical care like immunizations before entering the academy, and perhaps we wouldn't have lost my twin brother to whooping cough before I was even old enough to remember his name or face. I know Rose never even considered that, because she never even knew he existed. I never told her. Mama doesn't like to talk about him at home, so none of us ever really bring up Nikolai. And finally, as much as I loved little niece Zoya, and as much as I can't imagine my life without her, perhaps proper sexual education and health resources could have helped my sister Sonya and other young women like her from becoming unwed mothers before they were ready to take on such responsibility on their own.

"You want a stronger guardian force?" Rose continued, recapturing my attention and the attention of the captivated audience, "Create a stronger support system for dhampirs, specifically in communes and other places where young families congregate. Offer the aid they've been denied for so long. Treat dhampir women as more than just guardian breeding machines. Honestly, treat all dhampirs as more than just potential bodyguards. I can guarantee that you'll see more enthusiasm from those looking to serve as Guardians when they enter the academies. You'll see more positivity in the dhampir communities as a whole, guardian or non-guardian, and that will spread to everyone. When dhampir and Moroi relationships are strengthened, there will _naturally_ be an increase in the dhampir population, without forced breeding, especially if we work to remove the horrid stigma surrounding long-term Moroi-dhampir relationships. Those relationships are out there, and they are valid and should be supported openly. The same can be said for long term relationships between two guardians, for that matter, even if it doesn't result in a future child. However, this is a conversation for another day and now is the time to vote on whether you would like to support those in communities who currently are some of your strongest familial support system for young dhampirs who eventually grow to become the guardians many of you so rely on."

I couldn't help but smirk from my post as most of the dhampirs in the crowd rose to their feet, cheering at Rose's solid closing statement. Under the cover of the crowd, I could even see some of the guardians slyly offer their applause from their posts. The right hand of the stage seemed smug, totally assured in their leader's speech, while the opposite side simply seemed stunned that this tiny thing could come out of nowhere and impassion an entire room to follow her into battle with nothing more than five minutes and a cause worth fighting for.

_When will they learn to stop underestimating her?_

Unsurprisingly, the bill passed, with only Prince Lazar and two others remaining firm in their nay-saying.

Rose was the last to take the podium, and if her impromptu speech was so thrilling, I could only imagine what she had up her sleeve for this.

"Our final proposal for the night is to create a permanent clinic at court to serve the needs of the dhampirs here and in the surrounding areas. These services would include those that the mobile clinics provide, as well as other services we hope the mobile clinics will one day offer and we feel are incredibly necessary to Guardians here at Court, specifically psychological counseling and occupational therapy. We plan for the permanent clinic to serve as a home base for our mobile clinic services, working in conjunction with and as an extension of that measure."

Oh, she is a smart one, my Roza. Getting the mobile clinics passed before proposing this much more cost-heavy and intrusive clinic at court was sneaky, but it almost _has_ to be passed at this point. I'm sure most people in the crowd don't see it, but the way her cheeks are tensing to keep her grin from showing are a pretty good sign that she's aware of this fact too.

Almost immediately, Lazar is protesting again. "Seriously? A construction project like that would take two years at least, not to mention the cost involved. And where exactly do we have the space for such a project? Have you even planned such a building or is this some teenage dreaming from a little girl with no real experience?"

"Oh, get off your high horse..."

"Prince Lazar!"

Between the crowd's hissing and displeasure, two clear voices sounded above the rest. One had a distinct Turkish accent, and the other rising from the throne in the center of the stage.

"I'll remind you to mind your place," the Queen continued, "and that I selected Rosemarie Hathaway personally for her position on the Dhampir Council. Speaking against her placement there is akin to speaking against my judgment and I can assure you that _that_ would be unwise. After all, your seat on the Royal council was due to nothing more than a lucky chance of surviving longer than others in your family, which can change at a moment's notice."

Prince Lazar reeled back in shock at the vague suggestion of political assassination. If it had come from anyone else other than the Queen, a guardian would have hauled the accuser out immediately, placing them under arrest for questioning. But the Queen was welcomed to question, and perhaps even kill, anyone she would like. There wasn't really much we could do to stop her without committing treason ourselves.

"Chairwoman Hathaway, as for your proposal. I must say, I do believe that it holds merit." The Queen's support all but sealed the deal. "I would like to know one thing, however. Would services be limited to only dhampirs?"

Rose smiled, and I could see that this question wasn't just prepared for, it was anticipated. A knowing look from Queen Tatiana confirmed as much.

"No, Your Majesty. I believe that the clinics, both the main clinic and the mobile clinics, should be open to anyone in need. Limiting our services to one race, or one class, only causes more of a divide between us and creates more issues rather than uniting us and making us stronger.

"As for Prince Lazar's question about where the Main Clinic would be located, we have been scouting locations and we have found a promising location near the Guardian Headquarters. Yes, it will take a while for the building to be constructed, but that is the case with any large building. Our architect anticipates 18-20 months depending on how long it takes for us to acquire the initial permits and break ground. When it comes to the cost involved, I have taken that into account too. Yes, there will be a significant upfront cost. It will, however, be much less than the cost we currently spend on training on trying to train new Guardians to replace those that are unable to work because of disabilities that could be treated in a facility such as this, often in a short amount of time. Now what makes more financial sense to you, Prince Lazar? Treating Guardian like a disposable resource, or providing them with the medical services so that they can healthily perform in their chosen careers properly for as long as possible? I assure you, I may be young, but I have surrounded myself with a very experienced team and I plan to utilize their knowledge as much as possible."

After a little bit more debate back and forth, the final proposal passed, leaving Rose three for three on her very first Council meeting. She seemed shakier after the final vote than she had the entire assembly, and my concern for her drowned out the rest of the closing pomp and circumstance. I paid just enough attention to the crowd leaving to make sure that nobody was trampled while attempting to exit the building, and the moment I was released from duty twenty minutes later, I made my way to where I knew Rose would be waiting: home.

* * *

**~ROSE~**

* * *

 

_We did it. Holy crap. I can't believe it worked._

I did my best to not trip over my heels as I stepped down the final few steps from the stage into the backroom. I was used to heels, no novice to wearing them on stage. I could dance in stilettos for crying out loud! However, the adrenalin pumping through my system at the moment was enough to make my ankles a little shaky.

I wasn't surprised at all to find Lissa already waiting for me in the private council chambers, ready to wrap me in a big hug the moment I was clear from the public view.

"You were amazing!" My face was buried in the momentary privacy her blonde locks, allowing me the moment I desperately needed to calm down and center myself after everything.

"I've been watching you like a hawk since you were five. Something was bound to stick." I insisted, brushing off the compliment in typical sarcastic fashion.

"I wouldn't have had the guts to say half of what you said, or at least, not the way you said them. That was all you, Chairwoman Hathaway." She was still was still getting a kick using my title, despite it being so much less romantic than hers.

"We talked about this Liss. I'm going to start calling you Princess if you keep that up."

"Fiiiiiine," she complained with a whiney sigh, "but you didn't say anything about no celebratory parties, so come on; we have cake, and pizza, and all sorts of goodies at home for you."

BREAK

Liss wasn't lying. I don't know if she was just banking on us doing amazing at the council meeting today, or having one heck of a condolence party if we didn't, but it was perfect either way. Alana and her son joined us, as well as my mother, but otherwise it was just our usual gang enjoying ourselves.

I kept getting bounced from person to person, never having more than a moment or two to speak to anyone, much less to do speak with anyone privately, but I could see the longing in Dimitri's eyes that meant he wanted to talk to me. All I had been granted when he came home from his shift earlier was a tight hug and a quite whisper. "You did so well, Roza. I'm so proud of you."

Admittedly, as someone who lived for his praise as much as for his smile, it had meant the world to know that Dimitri had seen me succeed. Knowing that he was proud of me made it all worth it; all the stress, all the long nights, all the memorizing facts on note cards, and worrying about whether or not I would be shot the moment I stepped out the door of the council chambers. I was making his life better, and my life better, and the lives of every dhampir like us who never had a voice before.

Finally, after too many hours to count, I was finally allowed the freedom of retiring to my room for some well-deserved rest.

I had briefly considered sneaking off to Dimitri's room where he was resting after his shift, but with my mother, father, and the rest of the gang still downstairs, I'd never make it over to the first floor hallway without them noticing. With a final longing glance at his closed door, I instead made my way up the long, lonely flight of stairs.

On the plus side, I could take off this stupid blouse. There was no way I could borrow one of Lissa's blouses since she was a size smaller than me, but she had insisted taking me shopping for a very Lissa-esque blouse for the council meeting today and the silk ruffles at the neckline had been driving me insane all evening. The moment I was out of view of our guests downstairs, I started undoing the buttons, and I was completely free of the blasted thing by the time I opened my door.

"Roza..."

"Shit!"

Dimitri replied with something – either an expletive or an exclamation, I'm not sure which – in Russian, before turning away and laughing at my attempt to hide what was left of my meager modesty.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to spy on you. I just wanted to talk to you. Most people wait until they're _in_ their rooms to undress."

"Yeah. Noted. Give me a second." I searched for something, anything to slip on, finally settling on oversized shirt that was hanging on my desk chair. Some yoga pants laid next to it and since Dimitri was still turned away, I slipped out of my dress pants and into those too. "Okay, you can look now. Not that you haven't seen it all already."

He smiled at my attempt to lighten the mood, but didn't mention the fact that he hadn't seen 'it all' since that night. Neither of us were rushing into that phase again, though I think we were getting pretty close to it again. Lord knows my dreams were pushing me in that direction pretty heavily.

Despite the awkwardness of him surprising me moments ago in nothing more than dress pants and a bra that didn't leave much to the imagination, and the fact that I was just thinking about the how I had been dreaming of him taking me over and over again night after night, I sat down next to him on the bed as if nothing was amiss.

"Hi." I smiled.

"Hi." He smiled back, taking my hand and completing the strange little ritual we had started after a long day where we didn't always know what to say, but we knew being together made things infinitely better. "You were fantastic today, Rose. I'm not surprised in the least, because I know just how hard you worked to make sure everything was just right for the proposals, but I'm so proud of the effort you put in. It really showed, and you held yourself so well against everything they threw at you."

"I guess I deserved some of their criticism. I did surprise them with a few bombshells." The look of utter shock on some of the Moroi Council members' faces was enough to bring back a smile, though it didn't mean nearly as much as the looks and words of gratitude from Guardians and dhampirs as I was coming home today.

"Yeah, thanks for the day off! I already know how I'm gonna be using mine."

"Oh really?" I rested my head against Dimitri's shoulder, allowing myself to get comfortable after all the activity of the day and hoping that he would stay long enough for me to relax a while. The scent of his aftershave was more therapeutic than any aromatherapy spa session. I was rewarded a moment later with his arm wrapping around my shoulder, and I knew I had him for at least the next hour, much to my delight.

"Yep, I'm thinking regular date nights. You, me, and whatever we want. It really doesn't matter as long as we are together. What do you say?"

"That sounds..." I snuggled closer while trying to find the right word, but coming up short, so I settled for the next best thing, "perfect."

After a moment of silence, he spoke again. "Where did you get the idea for a mobile clinic?"

"Honestly? It came from several places, but I knew I had to push forward thinking about how much it could have helped your family, and knowing that somewhere, there is probably a small child who is living the same life that you and your sisters lived. Someone, somewhere, is struggling just like your mother did. Someone is living the life Alana does, not because she wants to, but because she has no other choice. If I can change that, and I don't try to, then I'm part of the problem. I can't stand the thought of being part of the problem when I have the power to be part of the solution. I know this won't fix everything, but this can be a small start. You know I can't talk about upcoming proposals with you, not really, but if you want to suggest what might have helped you and your family and your community growing up, that would help."

What I didn't suggest, but had thought quite a bit about over the last several days, was that actually visiting small communities like his hometown would also help. But, I wasn't sure if we were quite _there_ yet. Hopefully soon, though. We were already planning on sending one of the first mobile clinics to Baia, and I was hoping to accompany the program for the ribbon cutting. If all went according to plan, I would ask him to come with me so he could see his family.

His smile seemed to suggest that he'd be okay with the idea.

"You may not be a guardian proper, but nobody will ever say you aren't a fighter."

"This still isn't what you trained me for," I argued, my words enough to stop the rhythmic brushing of his thumb on the top of my knuckles.

"Isn't it?" he challenged me. One by one, he started listing off every lesson he ever taught me. "Know when to fight, and know when to run. Choose your weapon wisely, and make sure you know how to wield it. Don't hesitate. Trust your partner. Endurance is just as important as knowing how to fight, if not more so. Fight with a clear mind..."

He was right. Even if I wasn't a guardian fighting alongside of him, Dimitri had still taught me all the lessons I had needed to fight as a member of the Dhampir Council. Because of him, I was able to fight _for_ Dimitri and others like him.

"It makes me wonder though..." I drifted off, noticing how much closer we had gotten by this point, "what other lessons you have to teach me."

The smile he gave this time was less humorous, though just as playful, than his earlier one. Unfortunately it disappeared pretty quickly, getting lost as he kissed up the column of my neck. By the time he reached my ear, he was practically purring and his accent was so thick and sweet, it felt like honey.

"Oh, so many more, Roza. So, so many more."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few big bombshells from Rose and the council! I hope you enjoyed my/Rose's choices for the Dhampir council members and their first steps to making the Vampiric world a little bit better. What other things would you hope to see from them in the future? What about our favorite couple? 
> 
> HOWEVER....That's it folks! We'll have an epilogue just to ensure a happily ever after for everyone but otherwise we are closing the final pages on Meet Me in the Memory. Can you believe it? This is my very first AU (or universe alternative, as some are now calling these canon compliant but story divergent plots) and I want to give all of you a big THANK YOU hug for following along on this journey. 
> 
> If you haven't done so already, please be sure to follow and favorite the story AND me as an author to be notified of more of my upcoming stories. I will be restarting Shadow Kiss DPOV as soon as I post the Epilogue to this story. I'm itching to write that series again and I know you guys are itching to read it :)
> 
> On a personal note, my son's surgery went fine and he is recovering well. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. Thank you again for reading, reviewing, sharing, favoriting, and following. You guys are my biggest supporters and I always appreciate all the kind words you share with me. You are welcome to follow me over on tumblr at gigi256 and message me anytime!


	31. Chapter 31

**~ Epilogue ~ 4 Months Later ~**

* * *

**~ ROSE ~**

* * *

My back hit the padded mat with a dull thud, a heavy weight landing on top of me moments later and pinning me in place as I struggled to move. I tried in vain to breathe, but nearly 250 pounds of pure muscle made it nearly impossible. I didn't mind one bit though, because a moment later, that same weight was gently brushing feather-light kisses up the column of my throat.

"You need to focus, Roza. You left your left side weak again and I was able to exploit it when you were distracted."

I shifted as much as he would allow under my current predicament, offering him a horrendous imitation of his trademark smirk. "Easier said than done, Comrade." Just to punctuate my complaint, I planted the soles of my feet on the ground and forced my hips up and into his, pleasantly surprised to find that I wasn't the only one...distracted.

Dimitri didn't bother replying to my antics this time, simply allowing himself an animalistic growl before capturing my earlobe between his teeth for a moment. I let out a laugh, not quite ready to voice the thought that had been floating through my mind the past few days about taming my own personal Siberian Tiger. He didn't miss the opportunity to capture my lips though, snatching them in a kiss and dissolving any lingering thoughts of training and propriety from my mind. I don't know if we were making up for all those missed moments from the academy, but I certainly could get used to this.

Well, until a bucket of cold water in the form of a third person's chuckle sounded from the other side of the gym. Dimitri and I sprang apart as fast as we ever had, further implicating ourselves with him adjusting his top and me fixing my hair. I guess old habits die hard, though in our defense, this was the first time we had ever been caught.

"Well, I'm starting to see why I keep beating her in practice." Ambrose pushed off the doorway, laughing at his own joke and the still frazzled look on our faces. "Granted, he uses a much different training tactic with me, Rose, not that I would mind _that_ either. It certainly looks quite fun, even if it isn't nearly as productive."

Finally catching sense of myself, I stalked over to Ambrose and smacked him on the arm. "Don't you scare me like that!" To his credit, he at least pretended to wince, even if he did so while laughing. Poor Dimitri tried to act nonchalant about the situation, but I think Ambrose's training suggestion had him slightly flustered.

Poor guy. I'd have to remember that for the future.

"Anyways, I wasn't coming to interrupt anything, but unfortunately Miss Chairwoman, you have a meeting in less than thirty minutes. I'm heading that direction now and thought I'd grab you on the way."

I glanced at the clock, surprised at how much time had passed. I hadn't forgotten the meeting, there was no way that I could. It was the first public meeting that we were holding since the introduction of the dhampir council and we were expecting another full house. I was grateful that my training session with Dimitri had accomplished its goal – distraction from my nerves – but I couldn't afford to be late. Not today.

"Dang. Thanks, Ambrose. I owe you one. Give me ten minutes to get cleaned up and we'll head out." I was already rushing towards the locker room before he could reply.

I had only resumed my training about a month ago, but I had to admit that it felt good to be back in the gym, working towards a goal. I wasn't planning on becoming a guardian – especially since it was practically impossible in my current position as chairwoman of the Dhampir Council – but after discussing the matter with Dimitri and a few other advisers I trusted, I decided that there was little downside to actually finishing my guardian training and receiving my promise mark. Ambrose even decided to practice and train with me on occasion, and while it was odd at first to find non-guardians in the guardian gym, we were now often welcomed and treated as equals there.

I exited a few minutes later in a black pencil skirt, white blouse, black blazer, and flats that would be exchanged for heels as soon as we finished the quick jog to the Council Chambers. Of course my damp hair was up in a high bun, hiding the evidence of my recent training session slash quick shower as much as showing off my credentials. I almost had to laugh the first time I took a look at my typical work uniform and how I had just barely missed the mark on the standard "guardian black and whites" that I had always expected to wear growing up. I _did_ laugh when Dimitri insisted that he enjoyed this version better, even when I argued that I couldn't fight in a skirt. He promised to stay close enough that I would never need to.

Ambrose and Dimitri were chatting away pleasantly, apparently all awkwardness from Ambrose's earlier (and more than likely, intentional) flirtation forgotten, or at least forgiven.

"Sorry to break up the party, boys, but we need to go or we're gonna miss our cue. Dimitri, are we still planning on dinner tonight? It's gonna be a late one. I understand if..."

"Rose." Dimitri's eyes softened sympathetically at my unspoken apology. It was his night off, and we usually had a standing date night for those nights, but there wasn't anything I could do about this and he knew it. "It's okay. I promise. I'll see you when you get back."

"Got your key?"

His smile was almost as bright as mine when I asked the question, nodding and gesturing vaguely towards his gym bag. I had given him a key to my place about a month ago and he was very happy to be making use of it ever since. "Yeah. I'll finish up here and head over right after. Should I just order a pizza or do you want me to make something?"

 _So this is what domestic bliss feels like._ I reached up on my toes, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Pizza sounds great."

Without another moment to spare, Ambrose and I were on our way out the door to once again make history. "So, when are you going to ask him?"

"Ask him what?"

"To move in with you, officially." Ambrose gave me the same raised eyebrow that Dimitri did on occasion, albeit with _very_ different results. Despite the fact that Ambrose was technically a few months younger than Dimitri, he felt like an older brother to me and often teased me like the younger sister he never had growing up.

"Who said I was going to?" I palmed my key ring in my pocket, fingering my condo key that matched the same one I knew Dimitri had on his own key ring. "I only gave him a key to the place as few weeks ago. I only moved in a month before that! We're supposed to be taking things slow."

Ambrose nodded dramatically, not believing a word of my false justification I said any more than I did, despite how much I wanted it to make me feel better. "Can you honestly tell me he has spent one night back at his place since you gave him that key? Work doesn't count."

I didn't have to answer, because Ambrose already knew just by the way I avoided looking at him. My new home was even closer to the guardian headquarter than Lissa and Christian's, so after checking in after patrols, it was easier for Dimitri to crash at my place than walk all the way back to his bed. He'd usually call or text Eddie to make sure that things were okay back there, just because he was so dedicated to his charges, but there was little chance of danger in a warded area like Court. If there was a break in security, we both knew he could be back to Lissa's in less than three minutes at a full run. I'd be right beside him the whole way.

"So what's the hold up? Commitment-phobia? 'Cause I'm pretty sure he's ready to drop down on one knee for you here soon."

I stopped, literally shocked still at the thought of marriage. Ambrose did nothing to help with the matter, laughing at my reaction before pulling me forward again.

"Oh don't worry. He knows you aren't ready for that, at least not yet. Just giving you a bit of warning that he intends to put a ring on it. Between me, Lissa, and Adrian, we'll make sure you get something pretty killer."

"Oh God." I wasn't sure if I was more worried now about the thought of marriage, or the thought of Adrian, Ambrose, and Lissa making lasting fashion choices for me. I trusted Dimitri's practical simplicity more than anything else.

Thankfully, we were now in sight of another member of the aforementioned trio, and she was absolutely glowing. I wrapped her in a welcoming hug before resting my hand on her lower belly, one of the very few with permission to do so freely.

"Liss! How are you and the latest Dragomir heirs?"

A few weeks after their botched reception and canceled honeymoon plans, Liss and Christian were finally able to take their romantic getaway. Of course, they came back with a little extra baggage. Last week, in what we thought would be a routine check of mommy and baby, we found out there were actually two babies in there, rather than just one, effectively tripling the Dragomir line in one day.

"Good, I managed to keep down a decent portion of lunch today. I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow morning."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"I asked Christian to come, since you came last week. Is that okay?"

"Totally. I just didn't want you to feel like you have to go alone." We looked over at Eddie, laughing at the ludicrous statement since she was literally _never_ alone now and by royal decree couldn't be until these children were born. There was always at least one guardian by her side at all times, even in a warded area. Only the Queen had more intense security detail at this point.

"And how's Marie? Is she starting classes at the University yet?"

"Yep! They start this week. She's a bit nervous about her new roommate, but she's excited about some of the social work classes. Honestly, I probably could use a couple of those classes with this job. Social Welfare Policy and Human Behavior in a Social Environment? That could only be beneficial."

Lissa huffed, looking over to some of the other members of the various council members. "Not just to you, hun. Many of us could use it." She stepped a little closer, under the guise of fixing my blouse and necklace to lay properly while whispering so we wouldn't be overheard by anyone. "But speaking of, what about you? Are you ready?"

I gnawed at my lip, questioning myself for the first time all day, but pushing the thought away before it could take hold and fester.

"Yes," I assured us both. "I'm ready."

* * *

_Oh God. Unnnggghhhh...Fuuuuck._

I tried desperately to keep myself from banging my head against the wooden desktop over and over again, knowing full well that someone would complain about the noise and I would certainly be getting some disapproving glares from my coworkers for a week, if not a month. Lord knows there was already enough rumors about me, but...

_Oh._

_My._

_God._

If I didn't get out of here soon, I was going to burst.

"Prince Ivashkov, I really don't see how we can cut funding any more in this department. We've already approved a 10% decrease in these areas for the time being until we can find another source of financial income to support the cause. I say we table the discussion for now and move on to another matter. We have one last proposal before the close of the meeting and I believe that everyone would like to call it a night before the sun rises."

Thank heavens.

"Chairwoman Rosemarie Hathaway, the floor is yours."

I took a few seconds to pull myself together again while the room turned towards me, tucking a stray hair behind my ear and smoothing my skirt over my thighs before standing to take my place center stage at the microphone. My thumb flicked over the curled left corner of my stack of note cards, slightly damp from the repeated study sessions for this very moment, but with a final breath, I knew I didn't need them. Instead, I looked at the audience before me.

"Four months ago, the Dhampir Council was formed with the hopes of bringing a balance between Moroi and Dhampirs. We are symbiotic, working with one another to create the best for both of us together. Yes, there had been difficulties in the past and we are by no means perfect, but our goal is to focus on our future potential rather than dwelling on past mistakes.

"The only reason we should look to the past is to learn from it, so that we can move forward. And we have moved forward. Already we are seeing more guardians returning from duty with less injury. We've even seen an increase in satisfaction from both guardian and unpromised dhampirs living both within and beyond Court as far as how they are represented in government and whether or not their voices are likely to be heard. That is all within a short four months.

"Imagine what we might find within the next four years? What about the next ten years? We project that we might see a lower mortality rate for guardians, a higher lifespan for both promised and unpromised dhampirs, more female guardians, more non-guardian career opportunities for dhampirs, higher graduation rates, and even a larger overall population increase for not just dhampirs, but for Moroi as well."

I paused for just a moment to take a breath, but the crowd jumped on the opportunity, breaking into cheers at the prospect. I silently surveyed the crowd, waiting for them to quiet before I spoke to them again. "None of this can happen though, if we don't all work together. We've seen this before, we've learned this from our past. Now is the time to make the changes necessary so that we can make this bright future a reality."

In one quick movement, I turned, facing away from the crowd and toward my peers on the stand. I knew I had the crowd with me on this, what I needed was those who could approve a drastic change that I hadn't even consulted Tatiana about before this moment. If anything was going to cut my political career short...this was it.

"Queen Tatiana. Council members. I hereby propose the following: the creation of a new council for the representation of the non-royal Moroi people, elected by the non-royal population, to be a voice for them and their causes from hence forth."

If there were cheers before, I was backed by a near deafening roar now. It easy to tell that I had the near full support of the crowd, and anyone who didn't agree with me was being drowned out completely. The Dhampir Council was giving me a standing ovation, obviously in agreement with the measure already, even without the vote. I wasn't too surprised at that since I had consulted a few of them on the idea and my mother, Hans, and I had been the ones to request the public meeting. Several members of the Royal Council have followed suit. Queen Tatiana seemed to be pleased with the proposal, though she showed it in a much more quiet and dignified manner that was appropriate with her position. I'm sure there would be proper protocol of debating the merits of a Non-Royal Moroi Council, but it was already easy to see that not agreeing with the measure, especially at this public meeting, would be a very bad political choice.

My only regret about the fact that the measure would pass was that we would have to remodel this Council Room again for the second time in two months.

* * *

I had no desire to hang around the Council's Private Chambers any longer than absolutely necessary, so after the obligatory congratulatory handshakes and comments, I was ready to make my way home as quickly as possible. Not only did I have a handsome Russian waiting, but I was pretty sure he had a hot slice of pepperoni pizza with my name on it too. Honestly, what more could a girl ask for these days?

So imagine my surprise when I opened the chamber doors and ran directly into the broad chest of a brick wall.

"Woah, steady there, Roza."

"What are you doing here, Comrade? You didn't have to come tonight. You could have waited at my place. Certainly Netflix or – and I can't believe I'm saying this – a book, had to be more interesting than a majority of this meeting."

"You really think I was going to sit at home all night? I came to support my girlfriend as she made history, yet again." He tapped a pocket of his duster, revealing a small rectangle inside, "Plus, a book is portable for when the rest got dull."

I rolled my eyes, knowing that he was probably more interested in the proceedings of the meeting that I was, even though it was literally my job to pay attention to these things. It was easier said than done though, and the random doodles on my meeting agenda were a sure sign of that.

"So, since you came, what did you think?" I threw my bag over my shoulder, taking only a moment to secure it before inserting myself into my spot underneath Dimitri's left arm, my own right arm slipped around his waist and my hand slipped into his back pocket. He planted a quick kiss of approval to my brow before answering.

"I think that I am constantly in awe of you, and you will never cease to surprise me."

I waited for him to continue, as he was usually one for long and winding statements and was actually surprised by the short concise summery. "That's it?"

"No."

"No?"

"I also love you."

The sentiment brought a smile to my face and a flutter to my heart. I didn't question it for a moment, knowing that he wouldn't say something like this just to appease me or anything like that. Still, Dimitri paused, pressing me closer to him and holding me tight like he would when he was still afraid I would disappear like some dream.

"I love you, Roza, more than anything." I didn't have time to reply before his lips were on mine, gently at first but with a heat behind them that begged for something more. The stubble of his jaw burned against my cheek as his kiss wound up to my ear. "Let's go home."

"Quickly."

I could feel his smile quirk up against the shell of my ear, discarding any worries about seeming 'unmanly' among his peers before taking my bag, tossing it over his own shoulder and guiding me back to my place at least twice as fast as before.

The sun was just cresting over the mountain ridge as we made it up to my floor and into my apartment. His key was in his hand before I could even ask for my purse back, and I had to smirk that he was so eager to get us back to the privacy of closed doors. Dimitri tended to be fairly reserved, but he also tended to very motivated when he set his mind to something and right now it seemed like his mind was set on getting me out of this skirt and onto the nearest horizontal surface.

Thankfully, the lock released without any issue and the moment after I heard my bag drop, I felt my feet leave the floor as Dimitri picked me up in his arms, kicking the door close behind us. He was already working his lips up and down every inch of exposed flesh between my jaw and collarbone, making my heart race more and more with every footstep closer to my bedroom.

My condo wasn't much, at least not compared to some of the council members'. I had no interest in mansions or showing off my new salary with anything flashy. However, two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a working kitchen, and a large enough entertaining area for my friends to enjoy when they came over was perfect. Perhaps the biggest purchase I made was the large king size bed I was now falling backwards onto, and let's just say that _I_ wasn't the one who really needed all that room.

Dimitri's duster fell off his shoulders and I watched as he pulled his black shirt over his head. A shiver ran through my spine as my eyes traced the contours of his pecs and abs. I'd never get over the sight of him naked, even if it was a fairly recent re-development in our relationship again.

As his hands began to work his belt buckle, my own began to undo the annoying amount of buttons that every single one of my more council-appropriate shirts seemed to require. There did seem to be a limit to the zen-master's patience though, because his hands were on the hem of my skirt, pulling it down my legs before the my last button was free, only to make his way back up my calves and thighs with his hands.

"I've been waiting for this all day."

"I couldn't tell," I replied with a laugh, half at his eagerness and half at the sensation of his tongue against the skin of my stomach.

Dimitri paused in his ministrations just long enough to peek up at me. "We can stop if you'd rather go to bed." He started to pull away before I grabbed at his neck, pulling his lips towards mine roughly.

"Don't you dare. I'll tie you to this bed if I have to." Dimitri knew me well enough to take my threat literally. Even though he was more than strong enough to fight me on the matter, I would put up one hell of a struggle to keep him in the bed tonight. With a small laugh of his own, his lips met mine again and my fingers wound through his hair, knotting us together as our bodies began to shift more and more towards the center of the bed.

One by one, the last articles of clothing came off until the only thing covering my nakedness was my long hair and his hands. Poor Dimitri was left completely bare; my fingers too busy gripping his biceps to steady myself while his long fingers traced my inner folds. I knew he was trying to prolong my torture, but I still wriggled in a vain attempt to feel one of those fingertips breach the barrier. Instead, he moved upwards, circling my clit and causing me to cry out in both pleasure and frustration.

"Shhh," He hushed, not even attempting to hide his pleased amusement. "I want you ready for me tonight, Roza. Whatever it takes. I need you wet, practically begging for me."

There was something in Dimitri's voice that caught my attention, even through my blissed delirium. Dimitri was one to always put my pleasure above his own, always sure to focus on my needs in bed. Tonight was no different. Nor was he one to shy away from flirtation or even some light dirty talk as long as we were alone. However, there was something different in his tone that made me wonder – perhaps even eager – about what he would say next.

"Because once you come for me, Roza," he said, pressing gently on my sensitive bundle of nerves for emphasis and holding me close as I whimpered in response, "I'm going to make you mine. I'm going to make sure you never want for another man as long as you live. Do you understand?"

His eyes focused on mine, dark and deep, and I was brought back to the many moments I had found myself in them. They had always provided me with a sense of security and hope, offering me a place to call home even when I had felt lost otherwise. Perhaps to another girl, another couple, Dimitri's words might have seemed domineering and controlling. Perhaps the way I shifted underneath him might have seemed submissive. Perhaps to an outside perspective, that would be the best way to describe our relationship, but I knew that Dimitri and I never would. We were partners. We always had been and we always would be. Even at the academy. He had been my mentor and I was his student, but he had always treated me as his equal. We were still equals now.

Dimitri's finger brushed my lip, and my tongue darted out to meet it. I could taste myself lingering on his fingertips, and the sensation caused me to tremble as I watched his pupils grow ever larger. "Do you understand?" He repeated.

I nodded, unable to speak.

"Good girl."

My head fell back against the support of his embrace as his hand quickly maneuvered its way down, disappearing between my breasts almost as quickly as it reappeared between my legs. Two fingers plunged into my depths, his thumb both simultaneously grounding my body to the bed and sending my mind soaring with the way he teased my bud relentlessly.

His lips lathered kisses on me, somewhat sloppy with the way his face was buried in my neck and how focused he was elsewhere at the moment. Not that I was complaining. I couldn't really say I was much better myself. I clung to any part of him I could, relishing in the low, satisfied grunts he made when my nails dug into his skin.

Dimitri wasn't the loud one in this relationship. I was. His own pleasure seemed to feed on my noise and the first time I bit my lip to suppress it, he did everything in his power to make sure that it was a completely useless endeavor. Now, with every rhythmic pump of his thick fingers, my moans became whimpers, and those whimpers became all out screams of delight as my first rush of orgasmic euphoria overcame me.

I eventually caught my breath, still wrapped in Dimitri's embrace, one of his large hands rubbing my lower back and the other gently stroking my hair as he peppered gentle kissed across my forehead. I could still feel my body quake with the occasional aftershock but there was no way Dimitri would rush me before I was ready for him, despite his own urgency pressing against my abdomen.

Good news for him, I was tired of waiting. Perhaps I had finally caught him by surprise, but I managed to flip him over with no issue. I almost had him straddled too, but there is one issue when you go against a fully trained guardian who has quite a few years on you: he tends to be able to beat you at grappling. No matter how hard I fought – and honestly, it wasn't all that hard – he had me on my hands and knees, kneeling behind me only seconds later.

"You're still keeping that left side weak, Roza," he whispered lowly in my ear, as if this was nothing more than just a simple training session.

"In my defense, I _was_ distracted." I pressed my ass against his shaft in retaliation, cause us both to let out a low moan at the contact. My hand steadied myself against the headboard while his gripped my hip tighter, refusing to let me move away again.

Dimitri's face was a breath away from mine as I glanced over my shoulder, a splendid gift of his extra height. Despite all his talk of 'begging' and 'making me his' there was nothing but pure love in his eyes when he looked at me. Dimitri didn't need to do anything to mark his territory when it came to me, we didn't need to do anything to prove that I was his or he was mine. It was in the way he said my name or the way I smiled at him. The way we looked at one another across the room said everything that anyone ever needed to know. It was the way he was looking at me now.

"I love you, Roza. Always."

A quick shift of his hips, one last look of question, and a smile of agreement from me and that was all it took. His eyes never left mine as I felt him slip inside me, my back arching to feel ever single inch of him. He studied me so intently during sex, gauging every facial expression and movement and reacting to everything; only instead of following with blocks or counter attacks, he would use caresses and kisses, whatever it took to please me.

I matched his stare as long as I could, allowing us to fall into an unusually strong intimacy, even for us, until the sensation of his thrusts were too much for me to handle. My eyes began to roll back, my head dipping down, even my arms began to feel weak and shaky.

Somehow, Dimitri seemed only more empowered, my undoing making him bolder. His trusts became faster, deeper, stronger. His accent became more thick to the point where it hardly mattered if he was speaking English at this point.

"Let go, my love. Let go and let me hear you."

I would have broken right then, even if he hadn't requested it. My body was simply overwhelmed by the sensation of him moving within me. The only ways I was even remaining somewhat upright at the moment was because I was holding onto the headboard and thank God the wall wasn't shared by any of my neighbors or I knew I would have complaints.

My mumbled curses became desperate cries, my body clenching around his as he pressed me close in one final thrust, only releasing me as we both came crashing down from our respective highs. His body cradled mine, protecting me as we collapsed onto the bed weak in exhaustion, but feeling completely safe in one another's arms.

I relished in the feeling of Dimitri's hands brushing over the contours of my hips, breasts, arms, and waist, not content to let his fingers rest on one patch of skin too long. All the while, his hot breath danced against my neck in whispered declarations of love. It seemed to be a habit of his, almost unconscious now, to whisper little nothings in Russian as he held me post-orgasm. I still couldn't understand most of what he said, but I did understand one common phrase.

"Ya tebya lyub-lyu," I repeated his words back, slowly and broken, surely messing the pronunciation up, but hopefully making myself clear enough to be understood.

Dimitri's hand stopped suddenly at my rib cage, seemingly surprised at my first attempt as his native tongue. A second later he let out a small laugh and pulled me closer, flipping me over to so that I could face him, and more importantly, so he could kiss me properly.

"Ya budu vsegda lyubIt tebya, Roza" He replied, mimicking my earlier words. "I'll always love you. Always and forever."

I didn't doubt his love for a moment. Dimitri's capacity to love was greater than anyone else I had ever known. Not only me, but also for his family. Many young dhampir men were forced to leave their families behind and never look back. Dimitri did his best to keep in touch with his, sending a portion of his paycheck each month, even now, to make sure they were well supported. He called when he could, wrote letters, even sent pictures. They knew about me, and I was very familiar with them by now.

I had been keeping a secret from him though.

"Dimitri, do you think you could get a week or so off at the end of the month?"

His brows furrowed for a moment before looking at me seriously. "Most likely. It's been a while since I've requested any time, but why?"

"We're going to be launching the first mobile clinic soon, and they've asked me to be part of the ribbon cutting ceremony. I'd like you to come with me and I thought we could stay a little while after all the official stuff is over."

I could see the confusion in his eyes, and I didn't blame him. These clinics were meant to travel to small areas that weren't known to be tourist destinations by any means.

"Of course Rose, but where would we be going exactly?"

I propped myself up on my elbow, wanting the best view possible of his reaction to my next words. "Baia."

The look of hopeful surprise was worth the secrecy. "You're joking."

I shook my head, laughing. "I've already talked to Lissa, and your mother. As long as you want to go, we're ready to leave at the end of the month."

He seemed stunned for a moment, but his words came back in a rush. "Of – of course I want to go. I haven't seen my family for about five years now. And I can't wait to introduce you to everyone, properly I mean." Dimitri almost seemed childlike in his planning, talking about how he couldn't wait to show me the places he enjoyed as a child or the food his mother used to make.

The way he spoke about his family made my heart both soar and ache at the same time. It was such a large part of who he was, these memories and moments. They made him the loving, gentle, passionate man who was willing to defend the ones he cared about. But it was also a stark reminder of what I had been missing in my childhood. I had survived and turned out well, but there was no doubt that my youth had its moments of loneliness.

That loneliness didn't have to linger though.

I tucked myself back into his arms, enjoyed the warmth of his body as he wrapped the blankets around us to cover our still naked bodies.

"Stay with me."

He chuckled a bit, pulling me closer and getting more comfortable to fall asleep. "I'm not going anywhere tonight."

"No, not tonight, Dimitri. Stay with me. Move in. Don't leave." I couldn't get Ambrose's suggestion from earlier out of mind, but he was right. What _was_ I waiting for? "I don't want to be alone. I want to be with you. I know it would probably make things harder for you, and for Eddie, and probably for Lissa and Christian too. You don't have to if you don't want to, but I -"

"Shhhh, Roza." His gentle voice stopped my nervous rambling, his fingers brushing my hair and soothing the wild tangles as much as my wildly beating heart. "I'd love to."

"But what about -"

"Don't worry about it," he assured me, cutting off my concern about his other house mates. "I've already spoken to them."

Now it was my turn to be confused. "When? I literally just asked you."

"The day after you gave me your key," he admitted, with only a little bit of shame. "Let's just say I was hopeful. Plus, with me spending more nights here than in my own bed, certain arrangements needed to be made."

I couldn't help but laugh, mostly that I had been so worried about something that had basically been taken care of weeks ago. When he joined in, I hid my face in his shoulder and he wouldn't allow it, forcing me to look him in the eye.

"So a trip to meet me family and I'm moving in with you..." He trailed off with a lazy smile.

"Mm-Hmm" I agreed, wondering where he was going with this, all while succumbing to the pull of sleep.

"Should I just propose to you right now?"

My head popped up, suddenly not quite so sleepy. "Don't you dare!"

With a hearty laugh, he pulled me back to his chest. "Tomorrow then."

And tomorrow, a million tomorrows even, seem like a wonderful idea as long as I had Dimitri by my side to enjoy them with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! This is the end my friends. Thank you so much for joining me on this crazy journey and putting up with insane schedules, unexpected delays, and everything else life through my way. I hope it was all worth it in the end and that I was able to deliver the satisfying conclusion to Romitri's tale that you were all hoping for.
> 
> I know many of you are wondering/hoping for a possible sequel (I've already had a couple of questions about it) so I'll let you know now that I have left the door open to the possibility to another story in this universe, and I've already developed some head canon for what could happen next, but I wont be starting anything until I finish the DPOV series. I think everyone, including myself, is ready for me to dive back into that world head first again. My hope is for the next chapter of SK to be posted next week :)
> 
> In the mean time, I would love to hear what you enjoyed about my first foray into the AU world. Would you like to see more AU stories from me? I do have more in mind, and I would love to write them in the future, but I think life has shown me that my limit is one story at a time lol.
> 
> Once again, thank you to Raissa, my ever patient beta. She is the reason this story even exists people! She was the one checking in on me on a DAILY basis to make sure I was still living, still writing, and making sure whatever I was typing up was somewhat legible. Please give her a round of applause because she reads ever single one of your reviews and deserves every ounce of your praise.
> 
> And a big thank you to every single one of you who stuck by me. Many of you have been here since the beginning, reading and reviewing every single chapter. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Even if you didn't have the chance to review every chapter, if you have read every chapter and are reading this now, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I started writing because I needed an outlet. I never expected to find people who actually read (much less enjoyed) what I put out there.
> 
> If you haven't had the chance to yet, please take a moment to favorite this story. I'd also be honored if you followed and favorited me as an author if you liked my work so you can keep tabs on my stories. You can also review this story or share it with your friends. Thank you again for all your support and I can't wait to start our next journey together!
> 
> -Andrea

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Vampire Academy or its characters.


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